Chateau Heartiste

Recall the classic CH post “Hotter Women, Better Sex“. It set off a firestorm of wow just wows from feminists and betaboys who wandered into the free fire zone. That post put forth a self-evident proposition that would seem profound and dangerous in our age of willful ignorance:

The hotter the woman, the better the sex will be for the man banging her.

I suspect the people who think that men chase hot girls the most feverishly so as to lord it over other men have an agenda.  They want to believe that human nature is not immutable; that with the right amount of peer pressure and fist-shaking at the media juggernaut men’s desires can be altered — tamed — to accommodate their conceit.  And pride is malleable where thermonuclear blasts of lust are not.

If, on the other hand, men pursue the best-looking women at the behest of hidden compulsions buried deep in the reptilian cores of their brains, then there is nothing can be done to change this fact of manhood and what it means for less attractive girls.

How your body responds to a woman during sex tells the tale.  The hotter I find the girl, the better the sex is, all else being equal.  Since men remember sex acts with crystal clear clarity, it’s easy for me to recall the exact specifications of my sexual encounters with each woman in my life.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but my jizzbombs were heavier and the distance ejected farther with the prettier girls.  Since this is something I cannot consciously control, it is proof of the innate characteristics of the male sex drive.

A dandy and indeed handy chart was included:

In the interest of science, I’ve put my beauty-to-cumload comparison in a handy chart:

hotness of woman               size of load               squirt distance
0                                            *                                *
1                                            *                                *
2                                            *                                *
3                                            pre-cum only           had to be squeezed out
4                                            droplet                      dribble
5                                            <5 grams                  2 cm
6                                            fills bellybutton        3 inches
7                                            1 tbsp                         8 inches
8                                            2 tbsps                       1.5 feet
9                                            1/4 cup                       3 feet
10                                          gallon**                      5 yards**

*insufficient data
**extrapolation

Years later, SCIENCE would tardily catch up to Chateau wisdom and vindicate that handy dandy chart presenting the direct connection between female hotness and male lust:

Slimmer Women’s Waist is Associated with Better Erectile Function in Men Independent of Age.

***

I think the abstract speaks for itself. However, for the benefit of the short bussers: The men in the study got harder, stronger, bigger boners with the physically better-looking women. The men also had more frequent sex when they were having it with younger, hotter, tighter women. And finally, the men reported more sexual satisfaction when their sexual partners were hotter, thinner women with sexy hourglass shapes.

Young, slender, hot babes are nature’s Viagra, capable of inflating even an old man’s wrinkled wurst to heights of former glory.

But wait, there’s more! The “hotter women = better sex” CH aphorjism has, once again, been indirectly confirmed by scientific vigor (this time in a manner taken from the woman’s point-of-view, “bigger jizzbombs = happier women”). Courtesy of Rolf Degen, one of the few remaining bright spots on Twatter, a study shows…

About half of all women reported getting off on men’s ejaculation.

***

The Importance of Male Ejaculation for Female Sexual Satisfaction and Function

That face you make when you came but ¡SCIENCE! still sucking.

I’ll unpack the goodness stuffed into that study.

1. half of women have stronger orgasms when their men ejaculate first
2. half of women have stronger orgasms when their men’s jizzbombs are fuller, thicker, farther
3. women who considered their partner’s ejaculation an important part of their sex lives had better lifelong sexual functioning
4. a significant minority of women considered jizzbomb volume, distance, and accompanying theatrics a reflection of their own attractiveness
5. the size of a man’s load was especially important to a woman’s self-perceived SMV (“the perception of a large ejaculation volume can make the woman feel sexy and wanted”)

Talk about a BOMBSHELL of a study. The CH formulation — hotter women means better sex for men — is confirmed accurate by its inverse: more intense blasts of ropey jizz mean women with higher self-esteems because their desirability as sexual objects is expulsively validated.

Or: the reinforcing feedback loop runs both ways: men are more aroused by hotter women, and women feel hotter when men are more aroused, (especially if the male arousal takes the form of something that is outside a man’s conscious control, such as the size, strength, texture and distance of his ejaculate).

From this, we can safely conclude jizz volume and distance are predictive of relationship strength, because a woman who feels sexier and hotter with her man is a woman who won’t be eager to blow up the relationship. And a man who cums harder with a woman similarly won’t be cavalier about losing access to a rare pleasure-maximizing input.

The cosmic order is a harmonious thing of timeless beauty.

PS Short and tall women are sluttier and crazier than medium-height women. So if you want to make a lady your main, find a miss whose height isn’t a strain. (my guess is that short and tall women have to compete more for hsmv male attention, thus the sluttiness and craziness)

[crypto-donation-box]