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What Happens When You Give A Woman Testosterone

Aug 19th, 2008 by

Russian female pole vaulter not only sets the world record but trash talks her foes into submission.

BEIJING, Aug 18 (Reuters) – Russia’s Olympic champion pole vaulter Yelena Isinbayeva said the world record she set on Monday had put U.S. rival Jennifer Stuczynski in her place over reported comments about going to “kick Russian butt”.

“She has never beaten me. She is talking too much. So I didn’t say anything. I just wanted to prove who is the best,” Isinbayeva, who won the gold medal while Stuczynski had to settle for silver, told reporters.

“I am not deaf. I can read interviews and hear what is being talked about. It made me really angry because I said, ‘How is it possible to speak like this about me?’

“When I found out, it wasn’t nice first of all because she must respect me and know her position. Now she knows it.”

Isinbayeva set the world record by soaring 5.05 metres, while Stuczynski’s best effort was 4.80 metres. Russian Svetlana Feofanova took the bronze with a best jump of 4.75 metres.

cellulite free since 1982.

(This chick’s buttocks swallows pole vaults whole and spits out toothpicks.)

It doesn’t matter whether the testosterone is injected or naturally raised through scientifically calibrated diet and hours in the gym pumping iron, women become more like men when they start competing for real. They get nastier, they get harder, their tits shrink, their babyfat disappears, and their attitude is all up in your grill. Most of them even begin to look like men (Yelena, dear sweet Russian Tatar babe who happens to look like one of my exes, is a notably good-looking exception among the female Olympic athletes).

The masculinization of women is inevitable at the upper levels of competitive athletics where real glory and sponsorships are on the line, because the lifeblood — the high octane fuel — of competition that matters is testosterone, the very essence of manhood. For a woman to succeed in a physically competitive endeavor, she must become more like… a man. It is required.

(And for a man to succeed in a domestic endeavor, he must become more like a woman.)

What all those Title IX supporting lesbian feminists refuse to face up to is that female athletics, and especially the elite level of female athletics broadcast on TVs around the world, is not a celebration of womanhood, it’s a celebration of manhood!

But let’s face it, the goal of American/Scandinavian feminism has always been to morph women into men. The bullhorns of the feminist movement — disproportionately lesbian and ugly — have a pathological case of penis envy. I imagine if they could legislate enlarged clitorises, they would.

raise the bar. i’m jumping her.

The kind of intramural or weekend warrioress female athletics where women exert half-assed effort and take frequent breaks to huddle together to gossip, is fine for keeping fit and cementing friendships. They will not risk chest hair growth. But watch out if your girlfriend or daughter tries out for Division I soccer, starts buying A cup sports bras, and comes home with huge bruises on her shins — she will look and act less like a real woman with each passing day unless you steer her into more feminine fitness routines, like yoga.

One of the first things I ask a girl I’m dating is if she played any team sports in high school or college. If she played soccer or field hockey *and* has dark forearm hair, I know that I will not have to wait long for sexytime. Most likely, she will want to spend a lot of time on top.

I would bang lovely Yelena with my 5.05 metre American pole.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Alpha, Biomechanics is God, Foreign Girls, Ridiculousness | Comments Off

The Incredible Pull Of Alpha Males

Aug 19th, 2008 by

What an alpha male can get away with:

A former Senator and vice-presidential candidate [John Edwards] misused campaign contributions and money pledged to fight poverty so he could bring his mistress on the campaign trail with him during the presidential campaign where he was constantly making appearances with his widely admired cancer stricken wife then fathered the mistress’s child sometime around the time he was getting a Father Of The Year Award and then asked his loyal aid who already has a wife and kids to falsely claim paternity while the fake dad and the mistress were funneled money so they could move to be near the mistress’s psychic healer friend while the former candidate continued to meet the mistress and baby until he was caught by tabloid reporters and hid in the bathroom and then confessed on national TV a couple of weeks later but both he and his wife continued to lie during that interview and in subsequent statements.

What a beta male can get away with:

.

Any questions?

***

Morality is elastic — the nature of the sinner matters. No surprise that his own wife lies for him. One wonders why there isn’t a separate ten commandments for alpha males?

The article from which the quote above was taken makes this prediction:

Elizabeth Splits : Elizabeth Edwards helped her husband lie to press and public about his affair so it’s hard to be shocked that he continued to lie to her about the affair, really. But how much can Elizabeth take? The People magazine story is step one in the almost inevitable process of Elizabeth Edwards having to make some kind of move away from John. Could be a separation, could be more statements about her shock and disappointment at new revelations. Either way, somethings got to give.

The Hilary Clinton Syndrome. How much can Elizabeth the Sad Sad Cancer Stricken Alpha Male Alibi take? Oh, I bet she can… and will… take a whole fucking lot. A giant steaming load of shit in her face over and over and over, and she will smile and suck it up until either the media avalanche forces her to concede or the bastard kid grows up and comes knocking on her door looking a lot like daddy and bedecked in lawyersuit chic and a pompadoured twinkly-eyed slimy smile to sue the holy living hell out of her family for child support backpayments because, you see, John Edwards Alpha Male is a worthy man. Worthy enough for her to stoically suffer in humiliation.

If she’s lucky, she’ll have succumbed to the cancer before that happens.

You don’t like that I say this? It gets your panties in a wad? Fuck you and your misplaced empathy. Fuck you and your phonyfuck indignation. Especially fuck you and your happy sappy shifting morality hands across humanity meek shall inherit the karmic magical moral comeuppance excuse mongering rationalizing hypocritical there but for the grace of no one but myself go I virtue on the cheap fantasyland pissant pawn of your selfish gene replicating cog in the bloodsoaked gears of the amoral universal machine bullshit. Stare into the gaping maw of the id monster motherfuckers because I am rubbing your face in its hot stinking breath.

John Edwards’ wife lies for him knowing he was fucking and impregnating a new age whore while she lay in a hospital bed with cancer.

Somewhere in America a dutiful beta husband was just served divorce papers and subsequent financial ruin for no reason he can discern except that he didn’t excite his wife’s loins anymore.

People sometimes ask why I so deliberately and unapologetically act in my own self-interest and take what I want.
Because I know the score.
And you should too.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Alpha, Ugly Truths | Comments Off

Man Dance-Off

Aug 18th, 2008 by

Three guys. One cramped dance floor space. A smooth moves battle royale to catch the attentions of the two girls with their backs turned to them. Who will take home the gold?

dancing with the sausage.

(Happy dude holding drink is Wayne Brady, providing humorous color commentary.)

Guy in the V-neck steps up first and does the robot. Not bad, but girls are unimpressed. Judges score: Backs still turned.

Guy in the fashionable “I Adidas DC” T-shirt immediately follows him and goes old school with a break dancing routine that causes people walking by to be extra careful stepping over him. Judges score: Girls briefly turn around to watch because they got bored with the guys talking to them.

Fan favorite “really tall guy in the sack-crushing capris” takes the floor and does… something really GHEY. And yet I cannot look away:

taste the rainbow.

Judges score: 10.0 for the joyous shirt, 9.0 for look of concentration, 0.0 for capturing female attention. As you can see, the girls remain unimpressed with the action, prefering to focus on their beta suitors. One girl did point and laugh.

Capri guy sat down with the judges later for a post-contest interview and it turned out he was actually kind of cool in a warped way. He admitted being bisexual (read: 100% gay).

At least he had an excuse. What were the other guys thinking? No man dances for personal enjoyment; he does it either to get close to girls already dancing or to show off his moves for girls watching. The man dance-off is like the perfect storm of gayness and toolness. As far as male status competitions go, it’s lower than drinking games.

On the streets of New York this kind of thing works because there are usually lots of girls watching to take social cues from each other that it’s acceptable to get caught up in the excitement of the status displays. It was closing time when these guys squared off and there were only a few girls nearby. Male mini-status displays don’t work as well when there aren’t lots of admiring girls to give the warriors social proof of their skills. Girls often look to other girls to gauge the alphaness of men doing questionable activities. If one girl looks over at the other girl in attendance and sees she is not paying attention to the frenetic dance-off, she will remain aloof.

You could have two dorky guys playing PINBALL and as long as there is at least one horny admiring girl in the crowd to inspire the other girls, the winning pinballer will get laid.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Beta, Funny/Lolblogs, The Big City Life, Tool Time | Comments Off

Reader Mailbag

Aug 15th, 2008 by

Dies ist die zweite Rate des Reader Mailbags. Wenn du nicht möchtest, dass deine Frage im Blog veröffentlicht wird, gib dies ausdrücklich in deiner E-Mail an. Ich werde meine Antwort an dich geheim halten.

E-Mail Nr. 1

Hey du!

Ich brauche einen Rat, möchte ich einem Mädchen aus Kanada helfen?

Ich habe diesen Typen vor ungefähr 6 Monaten getroffen. Wir verstehen uns super! Wir haben so viel Spaß zusammen, wir lachen so viel, wenn wir zusammen sind, insgesamt war es wirklich erstaunlich (die sexuelle Chemie ist auch erstaunlich). Das Problem: Ich will mehr und er wird mir nicht mehr geben!! Er macht zufällige Ausreden, wenn ich ihm sage, dass ich mehr will. Es ist so frustrierend! Ich kam zu dem Punkt, an dem ich ihm sagte, dass wir nicht mehr reden/abhängen sollten. Er stimmte zu, rief mich dann aber an, weil er mich vermisste und sagte: „Warum können wir nicht weiter rumhängen, wir haben so viel Spaß zusammen?“ Er ist auch mit anderen Frauen verabredet… und erzählt mir dann davon, was mich gleichzeitig so traurig und wütend macht. Ich verstehe es einfach nicht … ich bin so ein toller Fang!! Ich bin super süß, unabhängig, lustig, witzig, locker (es sei denn, ich möchte eine Verpflichtung – haha!), nicht materialistisch, fürsorglich, zuvorkommend (besonders im Schlafzimmer, seine Bedürfnisse werden immer erfüllt) und eine ganze Reihe von andere wundervolle Sachen! Es ist einfach umwerfend, dass er nicht mehr will. Es ist frustrierend. Also sagte ich ihm, dass ich mit anderen Männern ausgehen würde (er sagte mir, das sei eine gute Idee), was ich tue, aber ich bin in ihn verliebt, es ist so frustrierend, weil ich ihn nur glücklich machen will und pass auf ihn auf, so gut ich kann und er ist nicht interessiert. Glaubst du, ich bin verrückt? Ich weiß, ich habe es verdient, mit jemandem zusammen zu sein, der mich schätzt und mich nicht für selbstverständlich hält und es fällt mir nicht schwer, andere Männer zu treffen, aber das Problem ist … ich will IHN!

Er sagte mir, dass er Probleme mit dem Vertrauen habe. Aber ich bin wie die vertrauenswürdigste Person da draußen … denkst du, er spielt nur mit mir?

Irgendein Rat?

PD

Du bist auf die richtige Ebene der Hölle gekommen, mein Kind. Lass mich das aus dem Weg räumen, wie ein schnelles Ziehen des brasilianischen Wachsstreifens. Wann immer es der Typ ist, der Ausreden macht, um Sex zu vermeiden, ist eines von drei Dingen im Gange.

1. Er ist impotent oder hat eine geringe Libido.

2. Er hat jemand anderen gefunden und seine Eier sind zu ausgelaugt, um dir den Spaß zu geben, den du verdienst.

3. Er hat aufgehört, dich attraktiv zu finden und hat dein warmes Loch durch Pornos ersetzt.

Nach deinem Schreibstil zu urteilen, würde ich vermuten, dass du sehr jung bist, sodass die Chancen, dass dein Freund eine geringe Libido hat, gering sind. Selbst wenn er viel älter ist als du, wird dein heißer junger Körper ihn auf eine Weise zum Handeln bringen, die eine ältere Frau nicht könnte.

Es klingt eher nach einer Kombination aus 2 und 3. Er hat dir bereits klar gesagt, dass er sich verabredet und dennoch tust du so, als wäre dies keine große Sache und sollte deine Beziehung zu ihm oder seinen Wunsch, Sex mit dir zu haben, nicht beeinträchtigen auf Nachfrage. Möchtest du in der ersten oder zweiten Stufe seines Harems sein? Du bist geblendet von deinem verletzten Ego und hast aufgehört, den Wald vor lauter Bäumen zu sehen. Ich werde es für dich formulieren:

Du bist nicht sein Mädchen Nummer eins.

Du bist eine von vielen Fotzen, die er schlägt.

Er hat nicht mehr das Bedürfnis, etwas für dich zu tun, weil du seine laufende Scheiße aufschlägst und um mehr bettelst.

Du bist seine Sicherheitsschule. Die zweite Geige. Zurück von der Linie. Langsamer Beuteanruf. Fleshlight.

Ich sage das aus Liebe.

„Er ist auch mit anderen Frauen verabredet … und erzählt mir dann davon, was mich gleichzeitig so traurig und wütend macht.“

… und geil. Gib es zu.

Hinweis für die Männer beim Lesen: So verwaltest du mehrere langfristige Beziehungen. Erzähle deinem Mädchen einfach von jedem Date, an dem du teilnimmst und lehnst dich zurück und genießt die Früchte deiner Zuhälterei.

„Ich verstehe es einfach nicht … ich bin so ein unglaublicher Fang!!“

Ein anderer Akolyth von Stuart Smalley hörte davon.

„Ich bin super süß, unabhängig, lustig, witzig, locker (es sei denn, ich möchte ein Engagement – haha!), nicht materialistisch, fürsorglich, entgegenkommend (besonders im Schlafzimmer, seine Bedürfnisse werden immer erfüllt) und eine ganze Menge von anderen wunderbaren Sachen!“

Warum leckst du nicht einfach den Schweiß von seinen feuchten, haarigen Bällen? Du glaubst, dein Wert ist niedriger als seiner und deshalb versuchst du ihm zu gefallen, ohne etwas dafür zu verlangen, aber mehr Begeisterung dafür, dich zu ficken. Diese Art von Dynamik sorgt für die stärksten Beziehungen, weil Frauen diejenigen sein wollen, die für die Zustimmung arbeiten, aber es muss ein gewisses Gleichgewicht in der Dominanz-Unterwerfungskraft bestehen. Je mehr du dich zu seinem Lakai machst, desto weniger wird er denken, dass du seiner Dankbarkeit würdig bist. Spiele ein wenig hart, um zu bekommen, wenn du das Gefühl hast, dass du nicht willst, was du von ihm willst. Wenn das nicht funktioniert, hast du keine andere Wahl, als den Eierstock aufzurichten und zu beenden.

„Also sagte ich ihm, ich würde mich mit anderen Männern verabreden (er sagte mir, das sei eine gute Idee).“

Erstens war deine Haltung passiv-aggressiv. Zu schmollen und ihm zu sagen, dass du mit anderen Männern ausgehen wirst, ist ein Eingeständnis der Niederlage. Er weiß, dass du ihn vor Schmerzen angreifst und dies wird nur seine Macht über dich stärken, was du an seiner frechen, lässigen Antwort sehen kannst. Dein besserer Schritt wäre gewesen, ihm zu sagen, dass du ihn liebst, aber einige Zeit getrennt von ihm verbringen möchtest, um die Dinge zu durchdenken. Dann jeden Kontakt abschneiden. Wenn er dich anruft, kannst du jetzt bessere Bedingungen für dich selbst diktieren.

„Es ist so frustrierend, weil ich ihn nur glücklich machen und mich so gut wie möglich um ihn kümmern möchte, wie ich weiß und ihn interessiert es nicht.“

Und deshalb willst du ihn wie eine billige belarussische Hure bedienen. Dein weibliches Reptilienhinterhirn betrügt dich. Du willst ihn nicht glücklich machen, du willst dich durch ihn glücklich machen. Aber sich für das Glück auf andere zu verlassen, ist ein todsicherer Weg, unglücklich zu bleiben. Kurznachricht: Er wird niemals interessiert sein.

„Er sagte mir, dass er Probleme mit dem Vertrauen hat.“

Natürlich hat er das. Weil er weiß, wie es ist, es zu brechen. Die Welt ist unser Spiegel.

„Glaubst du, er spielt nur mit mir?“

Es ist schlimmer als das. Diese Beziehung war tot, als er dir einen Freibrief für andere Männer gab. Du bist offiziell sein Ausfallzeit-Spermiengefäß. Zeit, das Feld zu treffen. Flirte mit zehn anderen Jungs (GFWTOG). Trag etwas sexy Kleidung und gehe sofort zum nächsten Busdepot.

E-Mail Nr. 2

Hey, habe eine kleine Situation und wollte noch einmal um deine Einsicht bitten (yup, du bist vom Blogger zum Berater geworden). Um es kurz zu machen, ich bin mit diesem Mädchen in der Schule, das ich früher für eine komplette Schlampe hielt. Sie schien ein wenig zu eigensinnig zu sein, nahm sich selbst zu ernst usw. Irgendwie sind wir in letzter Zeit irgendwie cool geworden und ich grabe sie etwas an. Sie ist ungefähr ein Jahr älter als ich, wirkt aber etwas älter. Wie auch immer, wir befinden uns an einem entscheidenden Wendepunkt, an dem die Dinge in beide Richtungen gehen könnten und ich wollte deine Gedanken darüber, wie ich am besten vermeiden kann, in der Freundschaftsbox gefangen zu sein. Was auch immer du zu bieten hast, wir würden uns sehr freuen.

M.

Schulmädchen sind für eine Frau fast eine Bitch. Überlege, welche Art von Mädchen sich für eine postgraduale Ausbildung entscheidet. Hinweis: Es ist nicht der weiblichste Typ. Wenn du also gegen dieses Mädchen vorgehen willst, musst du es mit sehr starker männlicher Energie angreifen. „Wir sind in letzter Zeit irgendwie cool geworden“, Romcom Therapyboy. Sich wie ein A/V-Club-Nerdling der Mittelstufe zu bewegen, der auf den perfekten Moment wartet, in dem sich die Planeten ausrichten und der Mond von ihren Augen reflektiert wird, wie eine große Pizzakuchen, um eine Bewegung zu brechen, fordert zum Scheitern auf. Der junge MC weinte.

Lüg dich auch nicht an. Du hast nicht angefangen, sie „anzugraben“, nachdem du sie kennengelernt hast. Du hast sie in dem Moment angegraben, als du ihr süßes Gesicht, ihren engen Hintern und ihre kecken Titten gesehen hast. Deine anfängliche Einschätzung von ihr als „vollständige Bitch“ ist ein gängiges Verteidigungsmanöver unter den Wirbellosen, um das Ego vor völliger Ablehnung zu schützen. Jedes heiße Mädchen ist eine komplette Schlampe für jeden Kerl, den sie trifft, es sei denn, sie mag ihn. So halten sie die Horden von Betas in Schach. Du willst super super freundlich? Mit fetten Chicks rumhängen.

„Wie auch immer, wir befinden uns an einem entscheidenden Wendepunkt, an dem die Dinge in beide Richtungen gehen könnten und ich wollte deine Gedanken darüber, wie ich am besten vermeiden kann, in der Freundschaftsbox gefangen zu sein.“

Wendepunkt? Hast du einen Winkelmesser herausgezogen und den Winkel ihrer Gefühle gemessen? Komm schon, Mann, Regel Nr. 1: Chicks wissen innerhalb von MINUTEN, nachdem sie dich getroffen haben, ob du Partnermaterial bist. Ab diesem Zeitpunkt ist es deine Aufgabe, es nicht zu vermasseln.

Ich habe gute und schlechte Nachrichten.

Schlechte Nachrichten: Du wurdest bereits als LJBF eingestuft.

Gute Nachricht: Jetzt weißt du es.

Die einzige Möglichkeit, eine LJBF umzukehren (und es ist nicht einfach), besteht darin, sich für ein paar Wochen vollständig aus ihrem Leben zu entfernen, gefolgt von einer großen Pickup-Offensive… Waffen lodern, Panzer rollen, Hände tasten, Wild spucken. Du musst dich weniger verfügbar machen, sie dich vermissen lassen. Wenn dein verschwundener Akt ihr Gehirn gerade so neu verdrahtet hat, dass der Schalter in eine neue Richtung betätigt wird, trifft sie dich an deiner Lieblingsbar, während du mit einem anderen Mädchen flirtest. Es ist wichtig, dass sie sieht, dass du die Gesellschaft anderer Frauen genießt.

Spiele mit ihr dann so, als wärst du gerade auf sie zugekommen. Vertrau mir, sie wird sauer und verwirrt sein, wenn das neue, ballige Du den Freundschaftsteppich unter ihr hervorzieht. Du hast keine Wahl, wenn es dir gelingen soll, ihre Meinung über dich von einer Freundin zu einer potenziellen Geliebten zu ändern. Eine rücksichtslose Missachtung ihrer Erwartungen ist unerlässlich. Es besteht eine gute Chance, dass du sie vollständig verlierst, aber das sollte dir nichts ausmachen. Es ist wirklich eine Win-Win-Situation. Entweder du bettelst sie oder du rettest deine Würde.

Und verdammt noch mal, rede nicht über die Graduiertenschule. Das wird sie nur an das alte kastrierte Du erinnern. Wenn sie es anspricht, sag ihr, dass du nicht interessiert bist und hier bist, um Spaß zu haben.

E-Mail Nr. 3

Du hast einen sehr interessanten und unterhaltsamen Blog, den ich erst kürzlich entdeckt habe.

Frage: Ich bin sicher, dass du dies bereits erwähnt hast, aber würden Personen, die deinen Blog regelmäßig lesen, nicht als „Betas“ betrachtet? Menschen, die sich stellvertretend an den Heldentaten eines Alpha-männlichen sexuellen Raubtiers, Helden, was auch immer erfreuen? Warum sollte sich ein Alpha die Mühe machen, deinen Blog zu lesen?

J.S.

Sind Leute, die Stock-Tip-Blogs lesen, arm? Einige sind es, andere nicht. Jeder will einen Vorteil, also sind einige Betas, die nach ihrer ersten Liebe suchen, andere sind Alphas, die den Tisch führen wollen. Wenn ich meiner Leserschaft Prozentsätze hinzufügen müsste, wären 60% klassische Beta-Männer, 20% Alpha-Männer, 15% Chick, die mich wegen meines teuflischen Charmes ausgraben und 5% schwindelerregende Klone. Oh, und Tyler Cowen liest regelmäßig (Hi Mrs. Cowen!).

PS: Das stellvertretende Vergnügen ist eine schwache Sauce. Alle Mädchen, die sich direkt an meinen Heldentaten erfreuen möchten, können mich erreichen unter:

Der Abgrund

666 Dante Blvd.

Kreis 2

8675309

[crypto-donation-box]

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Reader Mailbag

Aug 15th, 2008 by

This is the second installment of reader mailbag. If you do not want your question made public on the blog, say so specifically in your email, and I’ll keep my answer to you private.

Email #1

Hey there!

I need some advice, care to help a gal from Canada?

I met this guy about 6 months ago. We get along great! We have so much fun together, we laugh so much when we’re together so overall it’s been really amazing (the sexual chemistry is amazing too). The problem: I want more and he won’t give me more!! He makes up random excuses whenever I tell him I want more. It’s so frustrating! I came to the point where I told him that we shouldn’t talk/hang out anymore. He agreed but then called me cuz he missed me and said, “why can’t we continue hanging out, we have so much fun together”. He also dates other women…and then tells me about it, which makes me so sad and mad at the same time. I just don’t get it…I’m such an amazing catch!! I’m super cute, independent, fun, funny, easy going (unless I want a committment-haha!), not materialistic, caring, accommodating (esp. in the bedroom, his needs are always met), and a whole bunch of other wonderful stuff! It just blows my mind that he wouldn’t want more. It’s frustrating. So, I told him I was going to date other men (he told me that was a good idea), which I am doing but I’m in love with him, it’s so frustrating because all I want to do is make him happy and take care of him the best that I know how and he’s not interested. do you think i’m crazy? I know i deserved to be with someone who appreciates me and doesn’t take me for granted and it’s not hard for me to meet other men, but the problem is…I want HIM!

He told me that he has issues with trust. But I’m like the most trustworthy person out there…do u think he’s just playing games with me?

Any advice?

PD

You’ve come to the right plane of hell, my child. Let me get this out of the way, like a quick pull of the Brazilian wax strip. Whenever it’s the guy making excuses to avoid sex one of three things is going on.

  1. He’s impotent or has a low libido.
  2. He’s found someone else and his balls are too drained to give you the rogering you deserve.
  3. He has stopped finding you attractive and has substituted porn for your warm hole.

Judging by your writing style I’d guess you are very young, so the odds of your boyfriend having a low libido are slim. Even if he’s much older than you, your hot young bod will spring him to action in a way that an older woman could not.

It sounds more like a combination of 2 and 3. He’s already told you point blank that he dates around, and yet you act as if this is no big deal and shouldn’t affect your relationship with him or his desire to have sex with you on demand. Are you looking to be in his harem’s first or second tier? You’re blinded by your bruised ego and have stopped seeing the forest for the trees. I’ll spell it out for you:

You’re not his number one girl.
You are one of many pussies he is banging.
He no longer feels the need to do anything for you because you slop up his runny shit and beg for more.
You are his safety school. Second fiddle. Back of the line. Slow dial booty call. Fleshlight.

I say this out of love.

“He also dates other women…and then tells me about it, which makes me so sad and mad at the same time.”

…and horny. Admit it.

Note to the men reading: This is how you manage multiple long term relationships. Just tell your girl about every date you go on, then sit back and enjoy the fruits of your pimpdom.

“I just don’t get it…I’m such an amazing catch!!”

Another Stuart Smalley acolyte heard from.

“I’m super cute, independent, fun, funny, easy going (unless I want a committment-haha!), not materialistic, caring, accommodating (esp. in the bedroom, his needs are always met), and a whole bunch of other wonderful stuff!”

Why don’t you just lick the sweat off his moist hairy balls? You believe your value is lower than his and so you try to please him without asking for anything in return but more enthusiasm for fucking you. This type of dynamic makes for the strongest relationships because women want to be the ones working for approval, but there must be some balance in the dominance-submission force. The more you make yourself his lackey the less he will think you are worthy of his gratitude. Play a little hard to get if you feel you are not getting want you want from him. If that doesn’t work then you have no choice but to ovary up and end it.

“So, I told him I was going to date other men (he told me that was a good idea),”

First, your posturing was passive-aggressive. Pouting and telling him you are going to date other men is an admission of defeat. He knows you are lashing out at him in pain, and this will only strengthen his power over you, which you can see it has by his cheeky nonchalant reply. Your better move would have been to tell him you love him, but want to spend some time apart from him to think things through. Then cut off all contact. If he calls you, you’ll now be in a position to dictate better terms for yourself.

“it’s so frustrating because all I want to do is make him happy and take care of him the best that I know how and he’s not interested.”

And that is why you want to service him like a cheap Belarusian whore. Your female reptilian hindbrain is tricking you. You don’t want to make him happy, you want to make yourself happy through him. But relying on others for your happiness is a surefire way to remain unhappy. Newsflash: He will never be interested.

“He told me that he has issues with trust.”

Of course he does. Because he knows what it’s like to break it. The world is our mirror.

“do u think he’s just playing games with me?”

It’s worse than that. This relationship was dead the second he gave you carte blanche to date other men. You are officially his downtime sperm receptacle. Time to hit the field. Go Flirt With Ten Other Guys (GFWTOG). Wear something sexy and head to the nearest bus depot immediately.

Email #2

Hey, got a little situation and wanted to solicit your insight once more (yup, you’ve gone from blogger to counselor).  To keep it short, I’m in grad school with this girl that I used to think was a complete bitch.  She seemed a little too opinionated, took herself too seriously, etc.   Somehow, though, we’ve recently become kind of cool and I’m kinda diggin her.  She’s about a year older than I but acts a little older.  Anyway, we’re kind of at that crucial tipping point where things could go either way and I wanted your thoughts on how best to avoid getting trapped in the friendship box.   Whatever you’ve got to offer would be most appreciated.

M.

Grad school girls are almost uberbitches to a woman. Think about what kind of girl decides to pursue postgraduate education. Hint: It’s not the most feminine type. So if you’re going to move on this girl, you’ll need to attack her with very strong masculine energy. “We’ve recently become kind of cool” is not gonna cut it, romcom therapyboy. Farting around like a junior high A/V club nerdling waiting for that perfect moment when the planets align and the moon reflects off her eyes like a big pizza pie to bust a move is asking for failure. Young MC wept.

Also, don’t lie to yourself. You didn’t kinda start “diggin her” after you got to know her. You were diggin her the moment you laid eyes on her cute face, tight rump, and pert tits. Your initial assessment of her as a “complete bitch” is a common defensive maneuver among the invertebratia to shield the ego from outright rejection. Every hot girl is a complete bitch to every guy she meets unless she likes him. It’s how they keep the hordes of betas at bay. You want super duper friendly? Hang out with fat chicks.

“Anyway, we’re kind of at that crucial tipping point where things could go either way and I wanted your thoughts on how best to avoid getting trapped in the friendship box.”

Tipping point? Did you pull out a protractor and measure the angle of her emotions? Come on, man, rule #1: Chicks know within MINUTES of meeting you whether you are mating material. From that point it’s your job to not fuck it up.

I’ve got good news and bad news.

Bad news: You’ve already been LJBF’ed.
Good news: Now you know.

The only way to reverse an LJBF (and it’s not easy) is complete removal of yourself from her life for a few weeks, followed by a major pickup offensive… guns blazing, tanks rolling, hands groping, game spitting. You’ve gotta make yourself less available, make her miss you. Then, when your disappearing act has rewired her brain just enough to flip the switch in a new direction, you have her meet you at your favorite bar while you’re flirting with another girl. It’s important that she sees you enjoying the company of other women.

Then, game her like you just approached her. Trust me, she’ll be pissed and confused when the new, ballsy you pulls the friendship rug out from under her. You’ve got no choice if you want to succeed in changing her opinion of you from friend to potential lover. Callous disregard for her expectations is essential. There’s a good chance you’ll lose her entirely, but that shouldn’t matter to you. It’s really win-win. Either you bed her, or you salvage your dignity.

And for fuck’s sake, don’t talk about grad school. That’ll just remind her of the old neutered you. If she brings it up, tell her you’re not interested and you’re here to have fun.

Email #3

You have a very interesting and entertaining blog, which I just recently discovered.

Question:  I am sure you have mentioned this before, but wouldn’t people who read your blog with any degree of regularity be considered “betas”?  People who take vicarious pleasure in the exploits of an alpha male sexual predator, hero, whatever?  Why would an alpha bother to read your blog?

J.S.

Are people who read stock tip blogs poor? Some are, some aren’t. Everyone wants an edge, so some are betas looking for their first love, some are alphas looking to run the table. If I had to put percentages on my readership, I’d guess 60% were classic beta males, 20% alpha males, 15% chicks who dig me for my devilish charm, and 5% dizzy clones. Oh, and Tyler Cowen reads regularly (Hi Mrs. Cowen!).

PS: Vicarious pleasure-taking is weak sauce. Any girls who want to take pleasure in my exploits directly can reach me at:

The Abyss
666 Dante Blvd.
Circle 2
8675309

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Reader Mailbag | Comments Off

Ugly Is Not The New Beautiful

Aug 14th, 2008 by

In an effort to be edgy, capture niche advertising markets, and generate buzz, there is a modeling agency in New York that claims to only scout for “ugly” models:

Too ‘ugly’ to model?

Not according to one talent agency in New York City. “Ugly,” founded in 1969, looks for unique models who are not considered traditionally beautiful. According to agency founder Simon Rogers, “beauty really does come in all shapes and sizes,” and in the modeling industry, there’s room for all.

Unique.

All shapes and sizes.

Room for all.

Let’s take a look at what the modeling agency considers ugly.

Here is one of their ugly female models:

i lie to boys.

The only thing ugly about her is the tattoo. She may not be a 10 but she’s pretty hot. Her underlying facial bone structure and features are that of a good-looking girl, and most guys would agree. The rest of the “ugly” female models at this agency follow the same pattern — attractive to beautiful faces that can be marketed as diverse and “unique” because of superficial non-genetic attributes like ugly tattoos, unusual make-up, weird clothing, or multicolored hair.

Other than the few freak show midgets the agency includes in its lineup (obviously for specialty assignments that specifically require the services of a midget), the general trend is the same as it is at every modeling agency — girls that have been blessed by birth to look better than 90% of women.

So, no, beauty does not come in all shapes and sizes, nor is there room for every girl to be a model, as this modeling agency’s founder fraudulently claims. Lip piercings and tattoos don’t turn a beautiful girl into an ugly girl, just like they don’t help ugly girls become less ugly.

Here is a picture of an actual ugly woman:

no wonder she hates men.

You will never see women who look like this in an “edgy” modeling agency’s portfolio. At least, not for long. Heh.

Now let’s take a look at the men in this agency’s ugly portfolio.

Here is one of their ugly male models:

i’m wearing a buttplug!

Now we’re getting somewhere. This guy isn’t repulsively ugly, but he’s not beefcake either. Take some time to browse through the photographs and you’ll notice a distinctly different pattern emerge with the male models. Most of the men fall into two categories — either good-looking guys who “uglify” themselves with bad tattoos and piercings (like the women models), or genuinely ugly guys. But the ugly men are ugly in a goofy way, instead of an actively obnoxious way.

Unalterable Universal Law: Ugly men can push product (and sitcoms). Ugly women can’t.*

Yet again, this shows that the penalty for physical ugliness is more severe for women than for men. People make fun of ugly men, but they simply don’t want their visual field polluted by ugly women. Not even at modeling agencies that claim to scout for beauty in “all shapes and sizes”.

Level of bullshit exposed on a scale of 1 to 10: 7 (a septic tank’s worth).

*Ugly Betty is the only current exception to this rule I can think of, but even in this case the show’s title doesn’t live down to its standard, for three reasons:
1. Betty isn’t *that* ugly. She’s a little under average for an American girl.
2. There are lots of other hot women in the show to neutralize Betty’s “ugliness”.
3. Betty’s love interests are borderline platonic. Kissing scenes with Betty kept to a bare minimum.
4. Ratings are slowly falling. Even good writing can’t save a show with an unattractive lead.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Ridiculousness, Ugly Truths | Comments Off

How Not To Be An American Woman

Aug 14th, 2008 by

When I wrote my perfect woman post, I had Slavic and Caucasus women in mind. Watch this video:

“It has most likely been a light weapon since it’s a minor wound.”

Although the video is grainy, this female reporter looks hot. She has the stunning high relief apple face typical of Slavs that gives me mighty boner. And she has a slender figure that is the norm instead of the exception for non-babushkas in her part of the world.

Ask yourself, how many women do you know who can get shot and continue working in a calm manner without crying or crumpling to the ground helpless? Now… how many HOT women do you know who can do this?

Does this seem like the type of woman who takes Cosmo sex quizzes, who organizes her mammoth shoe collection by hue, who dances on bars, who has had every hole violated and blogs about it, or who gets drunk on margaritas with her aging spinster friends before a marathon night of Sex and the City viewing?

Watch this woman and understand finally why your devalued law degree and non-profit job mean nothing to me.

Not only is she hot and can take a bullet without missing a beat, she probably knows how to cook healthy meals, haul water from the well, and orally please her man. You surmise, correctly, that given her grace under pressure after getting shot she has the strength of character to sacrifice for her children and perform her domestic duties without whining or running to a divorce lawyer at the first sign of her husband not “meeting her needs”. As a man, you will have to be strong for her, very strong, BUT LOOK WHAT YOU GET IN RETURN.

How can the modern American woman possibly compete against this? Answer: She can’t. Which is why cuntastic femicunts are feeling the heat and worked hard behind the scenes and out of the public eye to pass into law the misandrist International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, designed to make it more difficult for an American man to meet a foreign woman with a more feminine and pleasant disposition than the average American woman.

I hope American men are reading this and absorbing the lesson. Flights to East Europe are always available. You know what to do. So… what’s stopping you?

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Current Events, Foreign Girls, Inner Beauty, Videos | Comments Off

Human Population Diversity At The Olympics

Aug 14th, 2008 by

China’s coach, Lu Shanzhen, bristled when the age issue arose again on the day his gymnasts had upset the Americans, the reigning world champions. He would not explain Deng’s missing tooth.

“It’s unfair that people keep saying the Chinese are too young to compete,” Lu said in Mandarin on his way out of the National Indoor Stadium. “If they think they can tell someone’s age just by looking at them, well, if you look at the foreign athletes, they have so much more muscles than the Chinese. They are so strong. Do you then say that they are doping?”

He has a point. Neoteny in da house, yo.

nothing to see here.

nothing to see here.

This post NOT Gannon approved, due to lack of secondary sex characteristics.

Posted in Biomechanics is God, Current Events, Globalization | Comments Off

Universal Truths Day

Aug 12th, 2008 by

In keeping with the spirit of the first International Truth Day, here is another installment of universal truths by which you can guide your life and deflect the sophistry of your foes.

***

The louder people protest and the quicker they resort to insults the closer you are to telling a truth they don’t like.

The angrier someone reacts to criticism, the more likely your criticism is accurate. Multiply anger factor by 10 for any criticism of a woman.

If you can afford to put yourself down you have value.

If you can brag without inspiring resentment or annoyance you don’t have value.

Every woman — and I mean EVERY woman — will cheat if enough conditions are met.

The minute you start spending money on a woman is the minute she starts to expect having money spent on her.

  • Corollary: If you spend on a woman like she’s a whore, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

If you become famous worldwide and leave hundreds of children and grandchildren as your legacy you will be the same memory-less nothing after your death as the solitary homeless bum who dies in the gutter. May as well live in the now and maximize your pleasure.

The only times to laugh at yourself are when it raises your value, or mitigates a drop in your value.

Legalizing prostitution will reduce the incidence of rape.

Soliciting prostitutes will alleviate the symptoms of malignant betatude, but the only cure is the love of a woman freely given.

Never spend more than a few drinks’ worth of money on a woman before you have fucked her. If you’re going to pay for a woman, may as well go to a prostitute; at least you know she’ll put out.

If you have no other choice, treating women like shit will bring you more sexual and romantic satisfaction than treating women nicely.

Don’t get married. The piece of paper is unnecessary for having a loving relationship with a woman. Any woman you are dating who tells you otherwise does not love you completely.

The question to ask yourself is not “Will she like me?”, it’s “Do I want her?”.

The strongest frame you can bring to any interaction with a woman is the frame of qualifying her.

The strongest skill you can bring to any interaction with a woman is the ability to listen and remember.

The strongest first impression you can make with a woman is the way you walk over to her.

The strongest image you can present to a woman is one of contrast. Nothing builds intrigue like contrast.

Bitterness is created, not born.

If you’re not mentally prepared for your girlfriend to leave you tomorrow, she will be more likely to do so.

What you will never hear in marriage counseling: The divorce rate would drop in half if men learned to say Shut the fuck up and women stayed the same size they were on their wedding day.

Every woman has an inner whore. Pay her in the currency of a good fuck.

Don’t allow the biomechanics of love to spoil the beauty of it for you. Don’t allow the beauty of love to blind you to the reality of earning it.

People are at their most sincere when they’re pissed off.

Don’t take yourself seriously when other people are. Take yourself seriously when other people aren’t.

If you need to set rules for yourself, the Three Date Rule is a good place to start.

Indulge hate like you would indulge love. The energy of both can be a creative force, and it makes you a well-rounded person.

It is more likely to be true that a wife will love her deformed husband than a husband will love his deformed wife.

The biggest difference between men and women? A man will stick his dick in an attractive stranger’s warm pussy without exchanging one word.

Men who truly believe in feminism are beta chumps. An alpha may parrot the lies of feminism but he won’t take them to heart or act in accordance with its principles.

Your genes don’t give a shit about you. Their goal is to replicate, not make you happy.

You will get more pussy if you substitute going out Monday nights for Friday nights.

Sarcasm is the tool of the insecure.

If you catch your woman lying to your face, leave her immediately. No more good is to be had from that relationship.

Adopt a mentality of abundance instead of scarcity. It will become a self-fulfilling philosophy. In this way you will never fear to lose a girl. And in your fearlessness she will not want to leave you.

Make a habit of imagining you will die in a year. What would you do differently today?

The best way to gain perspective is to focus on those below you. The best way to gain motivation is to focus on those above you. Strike a balance.

Don’t let anyone tell you revenge is the instinct of the weak. They’ve just never experienced its sweet deliverance.

Children’s games make great adult dates.

Pity is a form of contempt.

When you’ve lost your curiosity, you’ve taken one step closer to vegetable status.

A happy fulfilling relationship starts with you believing you are better than your woman.

You don’t really give a shit about the poor.

Condoms suck.

Circumcision will make you last longer, at the expense of pleasure. It is a discredited barbaric practice.

Women love men who love themselves. Men love women capable of loving someone other than themselves.

You can gain more knowledge from a Wikipedia entry than traveling to lay on the beach in a foreign country.

Don’t be ashamed to create your myth.

Credentialism is the philosophy of the fearful, the self-doubting and the deferential.

A woman who has won your heart will slowly lose interest in you unless you take steps to counter it.

Make love when you can, because it is good.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Rules of Manhood, Ugly Truths | Comments Off

I Hate Bachelorette Parties

Aug 11th, 2008 by

Like a swarm of locusts or a flock of shitting geese, the bachelorette party is the most loathsome sight in the club. When I see them stumble into my favorite bar holding hands like a train of circus elephants I don’t think “Oh, here comes fun!”, I think “If they ask for my underwear I’m really going to give it to them, skid mark and all.” All I want to do when I see the girl wearing the white veil is shoot a load of my hot spunk in her hair until she’s crying that I’ve ruined her $300 wedding coif.

My friends secretly hate me for getting married first.

Bachelorette parties come in two varieties: The bride-to-be is really ugly or she’s the hottest chick of the bunch. There never seems to be an in-between. You can tell which one you’re dealing with without even looking for the one in the veil. The friends of the ugly bachelorette will have a look of genuine happiness and relief on their faces for the good fortune that the least marketable of them managed to snare a guy. (My buddies and I are left to imagine just how beta the unlucky bastard must be.) They have inflated egos because joy has filled their hearts with the thought that their own chances must be very good if their incendiary warpig friend beat the odds.

The friends of the hot alpha bachelorette smile just like the friends of the ugly bachelorette do, but their smiles are masks covering their seething envy and resentment. Their yearning to be seen as desirable means that you can make some headway with one who is a little less attractive than the bride-to-be.

In my experience, bachelorette parties are dead-ends for pickup. (Bachelor parties, on the other hand…) The girls are too drunk, too insular, too bitchy, and wracked with too much Freudian drama to bother with. And have you ever been mass cockblocked? Try hitting on a girl in a bachelorette party and watch in wonder as five girls swoop in to make your life miserable.

In a righteous and virtuous world, bachelorette parties would be shunned, and those girls who participated in them would be shamed by other women. There is no good reason for a girl who is about to vow sexual fidelity to the man she loves for the rest of her life to suck from a veiny penis-shaped straw and dare horny drunk men to bite candies from the necklace nestled in her cleavage. (The bachelor party is perfectly acceptable because men sacrifice a lot more when they get married.) This insipid, low class cultural trend should be used as a litmus test for men who still have a shred of dignity – if he finds out she cavorted around town sloppy drunk and wildly flirting with every guy within shouting distance he should call off the wedding immediately. No self-respecting man marries a closet slut.

Here are a couple of stories to give you an idea of what I mean.

Story one.

A bachelorette ran up to Zeets and implored him to bite off one of the life savers glued to her white t-shirt. He obliged and, naturally, targeted the life saver perched over her left nipple. Like a hungry bear mauling prey, he ripped off the life saver and took a swatch of her t-shirt with him. She shrieked, her left boob exposed for hundreds to see, while Zeets had a piece of cloth dangling from his mouth like a hunk of meat, and a shit-eating grin on his face. What a touching photo to add to the wedding album!

Story two.

This past weekend a hot blonde from Texas in a slinky black cocktail dress came up to me and started dirty dancing, rubbing her crotch on my thigh and turning around to grind her ass into me. We flirted and laughed for 20 minutes while my hand was on her back, hips, and ass, feeling around her thong strap. She pressed her tits into my chest. I leaned in and she was about to kiss me when her drunk friend wedged herself between us.

“She’s about to get married! Look!” She held up Texas girl’s left hand.

I squinted in the dim light and saw a barely noticeable silver ring on her finger, turned around so that the very large diamond was inside her palm, out of sight. I asked her why she had her ring like that. She looked ashamed. “Oh, it gets caught on my dress.”

Word to the wise: $20K on an engagement ring won’t banish the inner whore from your dearly beloved. Save your money.

***

Recap for girls who love love love romping through town in a bachelorette party and think it makes them famous for the night:

There is nothing cute or charming about you.
You and your bridesmaids are annoying, which is the opposite of fun.
Your bachelorette party games are retarded.
You take up space better used by girls who actually want to hook up.
Your fiancee is a sucker.
You don’t have that bride-to-be “glow”. It’s just drunkenness.
You’re still fat in a tiara.

If most “men” (and I use the term loosely) weren’t such tools they’d stop giving these dorky bachelorette party girls the acknowledgement they crave. Ignoring them is the only way to end the plague.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Girls, Marriage Is For Chumps, Tool Time | Comments Off

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