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Category Archive for 'Tool Time'

Visualizing Herb

Oh man, this picture of a herb doing what comes naturally is almost too gruesome to contemplate: [For this post we have a guest appearance by the judges from ‘American Idol’] Simon: Paula, your thoughts. Paula: I think they look cute together. He’s different, he’s unique. I like him. Simon: [rolls eyes] Randy? Randy: Dawg, […]

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A diligent reader emailed me a ‘Beta of the Month’ submission about a guy who fears he may have been cuckolded and who turns to a Washington Post advice columnist for support in his time of need. I read the article and decided that the real value to be gleaned was not in the unearthing […]

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Yeah, we’ve got nine more months in 2009, but this photo will not be beat . Can’t fault the polar bear. He knows a delicious blubbery buffet when he sees it.

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Update: A Second Herb!

Thanks to the eagle eye of reader W Baker , a second herb has been discovered in the photo of the herb with satchel. Unbelievable. Two herbs frolicking in the wild! What fortune. I didn’t even see the second herb when I snapped this shot. It’s like finding out your antique ceramic cat is hiding […]

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Herb In The Wild

Take a look at this photo. Is the person on the right a man or a woman? Neither. It’s a herb . Particularly, a subspecies of herb known as the hipster herb. All the telltale indicators are here in one self-contained lump of flesh. The demasculinizing flip flops. The ungainly, loping walk that suggests the […]

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I met her at my usual first date lounge, ten minutes late right on schedule. As I sat at the bar (thin crowd, plenty of elbow room), she pranced up to my side from across the room, waving back at someone. I looked over my shoulder and saw six or seven people, half girls and […]

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Schooling The Haters

There are a lot of misconceptions held by haters (and some non-haters) of the game and of yours truly that deserve closer examination. Obsidian writes in response to a pickup scenario with a sultry game-playing chick I recounted: Such a girl as described, would come off to me that she would not be satisfactory for […]

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Beta Pedestal Game

The perfect distillation of it on Craigslist : drop dead heart stopping beauty – m4w Reply to: XXX Date: 2009-01-24, 9:25PM EST saw you at the Blooms store on minnniefield rd I let you in front of me just to see ( no harm in mind no stalker) If a woman could truly be that […]

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I’ve received inside info about a second date gone bad from a female party who shall remain anonymous. I post it here to illustrate for the men reading what *not* to do on a date. I found the scenario described by Anonymous Girl a textbook example of the egregious dating fouls committed by the typical […]

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Commenter Just Looking sent me this jpeg. Take a look. After I suppressed my vomit reflex, I analyzed this pathetic photo in detail. It really says so much, and none of it good. I believe this photo encapsulates everything that has gone wrong with America, and with modern Western civilization. First, we have an aging […]

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