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The Fine Art Of Teasing

An important facet of game — whether for relationships, flings or pickups — is fluency with the art of teasing. Teasing is such a turn-on for women it’s a wonder it isn’t taught by marriage counselors. (Actually, it’s not a wonder. As the divorce statistics show us, marriage counselors have no fucking clue what works.)

Here’s an example of what I mean by teasing:

ME: Don’t worry. If I got famous I wouldn’t drop you like a hot potato.

HER: Gee, thanks. That’s so sweet.

ME: I’d wait a couple months.

HER: Jerk! *playful punch*

You should be teasing your girlfriend or wife like this nearly every day of her life. Women LOVE LOVE LOVE men who don’t take them seriously. And what better way to convey an aloof disregard for her pride than through teasing?

I’d like to examine the phenomenon of teasing a little more closely. Why, exactly, does it so effectively light up a woman’s arousal bean? After all, teasing is not flattery or compliments. It’s nearer the opposite: teasing is a form of put-down. Compare and contrast the below with the teasing example above:

ME: If I got famous I’d trade up from you to a hotter babe in about two month’s time.

HER: Whaaat?! [angry, hurt]

This example is no different in substance than the teasing example above, yet the latter provokes anger and withdrawal while the former provokes tingles. The key difference between the two interactions lies in the concept of butthurtness.

butthurtness; noun
an emotional state of being characterized by spite, bitterness and/or insecurity; highly toxic to female attraction.

Teasing is the art of delivering ugly truths in a charismatic style that inoculates the teaser against an accusation or perception of butthurtness.

The truth value of whatever you are teasing a girl about is immaterial; it’s *how* you say it that matters. It may very well be true that should you become famous you would dump your girlfriend for a hotter girl, or that her sense of humor sucks, but that’s irrelevant to the way in which such information is conveyed to her. If you can say it with a smirk, and couch your jerkish thoughts in the veneer of playful fun, she will register your demeanor as being one that an alpha male possesses. And this daily revelation will engorge her labia.

If you don’t know how to tease, then your jerkish blurts will be perceived by her as those held by a nasty beta secretly afraid she might leave him.

Teasing is a vital game tactic that serves the dual functions of 1) making relationships and dates less boring, and 2) subtly reminding the girl that you have options and aren’t afraid to risk her disapproval, which is the hallmark of the desirable alpha male swimming in a sea of snatch.

All of this — women’s love for jerks who know how to tease — ultimately reduces to the sexy son hypothesis, which has been explained in previous posts.

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Alpha Eye Contact

Pimps keep strong eye contact with their hos, but you’ll notice that’s only when the pimps are talking to them. When the hos reply, the pimps will glance around distractedly. A previous Chateau post advised that you should look around the room a bit when a girl is talking to you, because acting distracted is a display of higher value. Nitpick-y trolls readers wondered if there was an inconsistency there. Not at all. As an aspiring alpha male, you want to look around when a girl is angling for your attention, but you want to hold eye contact when you are leading the conversation and want her attention focused on you.

As a reader writes:

Real quick, eye contact:
When you are communicating, lock on. And demand eye contact back, subtlely (body Lang). When you are listening, not so much… Unless you’re at the point when she needs your validation.

A lot of aspy nerds read advice here to “look distracted” and they try to hammer that advice into every conceivable hole, not realizing that context matters and advice that is appropriate for one situation may not be so under different circumstances. We here at the Chateau try to cover all the ground, but some readers are too lazy to look up older posts that would answer their skepticism.

So, for the less nuanced thinkers:

Hold eye contact when you are talking to a girl.

Look around the room like you’re distracted by something when she’s talking to you, until, as the reader noted, she needs signs of attainability (i.e. validation) from you.

Adjust the ratio of eye contact-to-distraction based upon time spent together and hotness of girl. If you just met her and she’s a hottie, look more distracted when she talks. If she’s ugly, you’ll need to listen VERY attentively so she feels like she has a shot with you. If you’ve been dating her for a few months, look more attentive when she talks to you.

The archives of this blog are now so dense with information, that questions and complaints previously addressed are getting recycled by newbs. This is very annoying for the writers. Step it up, people.

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Coffeehouse Logistics

I’ve found that the best logistics for a coffeehouse pickup are seated in a chair at a right angle to a couch.

If your local SWPL coffeehouse is like most, it has a main seating area filled with cushy chairs, musty couches and coffee tables. Whether you see a girl already sitting who you want to meet, or you arrive early and want to stake out an advantageous spot for talking to girls, the optimal seating arrangement is the same. You want to sit in a comfortable high back chair (high backs bespeak regality) that is situated at a 90 degree angle adjacent to a couch (preferably free of any men sitting on it).

The reason for this is approachability. Although you will be tempted to sit on an empty couch in hopes that a girl will sit right next to you, you shouldn’t do that. Girls are uncomfortable about sitting on couches next to a strange man, even if they find you attractive enough to throw caution to the wind. Girls do not like prematurely forced intimacy, and sitting on an old sofa inches from a man they don’t know qualifies in their view as a forced intimacy scenario.

*Caveat: If a girl is *really* attracted to your looks, *and* she’s with a friend, she will sit next to you on a couch. In this situation, her friend provides an anchor of plausible deniability should she discover that you have no game.

Your best bet is to sit in a chair adjacent to a couch, where the three inch detached furniture buffer zone provides enough of a comfort zone for girls to sit in your personal space (i.e. your gaming space) without the awkwardness of side-by-side sofa sitting.

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Testosterone: The Genius Drug

Exposure to high prenatal testosterone levels may contribute to genius.

Savant-style genius may be affected by the amount of testosterone you receive in the womb, according to a new University of Alberta study.

The roots of extraordinary genius have long been the subject of a nature versus nurture debate, but educational psychology professor Martin Mrazik thinks that prenatal conditions may be the determining factor.

“We can’t underestimate the power of nature. Some things may be very biological in nature, and no matter how hard we try to develop a genius, maybe it’s not really the way to go about it,” Mrazik said.

Mrazik and his colleague from Rider University in New Jersey recently linked prenatal testosterone exposure to children with high levels of precociousness — the presence of above-average mental capabilities at an early age. The pair used advanced techniques such as functional MRI scans to investigate how the brain works.

“Testosterone seems to influence the right hemisphere. That’s where our math, science, reasoning, and abstract thinking take place […] We found a lot of evidence to suggest that in very precocious kids, [they] have very highly developed brain networks in the right frontal lobes of their brain.”

Mrazik also found that precocious children were found to have a higher incidence of short-sightedness and allergies, conditions which may also be associated with more exposure to testosterone in the prenatal environment.

So there you have it: proof that, on average, men are more logical and rational, and deeper thinkers, than women. All thanks to the wonder drug that is called testosterone. All hail Big T!

When I was a kid I had pretty bad allergies. But my eyesight is crystal clear. If I wasn’t busy screwing I could have been a fighter pilot.

The research is still in its early stages, and Mrazik is certainly not advocating for pregnant women to artificially enhance their testosterone levels, especially considering the potential negatives. He explained that in many cases, savant-like genius is associated with learning disorders such as Asperger’s Syndrome or autism.

I could see eugenics embracers like Jodie Foster stabbing themselves with needles full of steroids in hopes of imparting their male fetuses with super high IQ. Only to find out they had given birth to Tokyojesusfist.

On a related note, a reader wrote to say he was concerned that his unmasculine digit ratio — a biological quirk associated with prenatal testosterone levels that affects the ratio of the index finger and ring finger lengths — meant he might turn out gay.

I told him not to worry about it. There appear to be two major testosterone events in a man’s life. The first is prenatal — how much testosterony goodness is released in the womb affects your 2D:4D digit ratio. (High T = lower ratio.) The second T event is puberty and young adulthood. It is during that time frame that a second blast of T is released which affects such things as secondary sex characteristics. There is even a study out there (perhaps an ambitious reader can look it up for the edification of the studio audience) which concludes that the second wave of T is more important for a man’s physical and psychological “manliness” than the prenatal T, which seems to exert its primary influence on mental traits such as math ability and level of empathy. The study quoted above supports my view of the functions of these two testosterone events. And as of now, there is no evidence that the two major T events are related. Exposure to low T in the womb does not necessarily mean the release of adolescent T will be low as well.

In any case, the reader should relax. As far as we know, male digit ratio has nothing to do with being gay. In fact, one study purported to show that gay men have more masculine digit ratios.

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In the documentary ‘Pimps Up, Ho’s Down‘, there is a great scene where one of the pimps is describing in lush detail a happy scenario to a smoking hot ho on the brink of, presumably, committing to his harem.

Keep on believin’ in me, baby, just like when I met you in the juke joint, and I came up wit you, and I said it’ll all be good. And I’ll lead you to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow […] Winners never quit, and quitters never win. Because you never quit, we continue to win. I mean, it’s gonna be greater than this, we gonna go to Brazil and South Central [Ed: lol], you just stick with me. Come on, Natalie. It’s a long ways from that juke joint that we met, you know what I’m sayin’.

Beta schlubs, listen carefully to that exchange. That is how you hook women.

Let’s break it down to illustrate the game concepts in play.

Keep on believin’ in me, baby

He’s challenging her to have faith. He’s not asking, he’s demanding. Women love to be challenged. Also, never miss a chance to call a woman by a sexy pet name.

just like when I met you in that juke joint

Time distortion. Bouncing around in time, and having her think about a happy time with you, makes her feel like she’s known you longer than she has. This builds an emotional connection which all women crave. Remember, the more details the better. Details like the color of the curtains in the place you met her are going to zoom her brain straight to that moment. Chicks remember that shit like you remember baseball stats.

and I said it’ll all be good

Positive language is the key to pickup. Here the pimp is demonstrating his ability to be a protector of loved ones. It’ll all be good as long as she stays with him.

I’ll lead you to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

Women love men with dreams, with aspirations. They want to hitch their wagons to a man with a plan. Tell her you’ll be the one to show her the end of the rainbow and she’ll swoon like you’re Jesus pimpin Christ.

Because you never quit, we continue to win

Note the use of the ‘we’. You want to draw women into your world, to attach them to your fate. It’s not you and it’s not her; it’s the both of you in your secret world together against the rest of the world.

it’s gonna be greater than this, we gonna go to Brazil

More dreamscaping. Keeps women in a continual state of excited expectation, which is where they like to be. What do women hate most? Boredom. The dull life. Since women aren’t capable of creating excitement and drama on their own, they turn to men to do it for them. Of course, you never really have to go to Brazil. The trick is to just keep her believing that you’ll get there with her one day. In fact, game is kind of like Brazil: It’s the promise of a golden future together, and always will be.

you just stick with me

Secret handshake.

Come on, Natalie.

As emotionally torqued as this pimp is toward her, he’s not so invested that he can’t ignore her for a second to order his other girl to follow them. Girls love men who have this kind of situational awareness. It demonstrates leadership qualities.

It’s a long ways from that juke joint that we met

He’s reminding her of the serious time together that they’ve shared. Time distortions like this helpfully remind girls that they’ve invested a lot into you. When a girl thinks she’s invested in you, she has incentive to raise your value beyond its objective worth. Girls tend to want to stick it out with men in whom they have invested time.

***

Interestingly, in other parts of the movie, you’ll see that when a pimp enters a room, his hos precede him. This is an alpha move; the servants and sycophants always walk ahead of the king, who bestrides in behind them to the accolades of the crowd. Seemingly trivial body placements like this can radically alter a man’s sexual value in the eyes of women, and his social value in the eyes of men. This is why bosses generally show up to meetings a little later than their underlings. It’s a status signal.

You’ll note, too, how powerfully the pimps maintain eye contact with their hos. Eye contact, like the showing of teeth, is an alpha dominance gesture.

Pimping is a gutter culture, to be sure, but that doesn’t mean pasty white betas can’t learn a thing or two from pimps. Trashy as it may be, the fact remains that pimps KNOW women. They understand women in a way your typical office drone, weekend lawn mowing beta herb does not. Betas would do well to heed the pimp’s lessons, and to emulate some of the pimp’s attitude and cocksureness. For instance, when you go home to your wife after a hard day’s work, don’t just plop for dinner. Sidle up and whisper in her ear about the luxurious places you’re going to take her, and the dreams you have for the both of you.

Get all MLK on her ass. “I have a dream, baby.”

Women lap that shit up.

So many marriages would be pulled back from the brink of divorce and into blissful happiness if more beta husbands showed a strong pimp hand with their wives. Women just can’t WAIT for a pimp daddy to hustle the femcuntiness right outta them.

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I mean, the evidence is staring them right in the face. And yet, not a peep from them. How utterly surprising.

ps 50 million mexicans will do the same. heh heh.

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Why European Girls Stay Thin

The Village Voice has an article about fatty fuckers. These are the tiny minority of weirdos who like to fuck waddling land whales.

Here’s a pic to get you in the right frame of mind:

Read the whole article if you want to toss up your lunch. Ex:

Entries happily, ravenously, robustly referenced double bellies, back rolls, and “big old ham thighs.” Feminine body shapes were compared to pears, apples, and one calabash squash; their weights spanned from 180 pounds to over 500. “Big Fat Sexy Kitty,” a young woman who described herself as five feet tall and 260 pounds, wrote in: “I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually.”

In person at the East Village’s Cafe Orlin, Dan explains that, yes, he likes round bellies. He likes double chins. He likes breasts the size of his head. He loves flabby biceps. “Fat upper arms are awesome. I would almost say I’m an arms guy,” he says, not by any means whispering. “I didn’t know that they would be that soft. I, like, fell asleep on a girl’s arm once. I was like, ‘Wow.’ ”

Dan, the fatty fucking guy they profile in the article, is quoted in this paragraph:

Too lazy to consider himself an activist, but cocky enough to be the mouthy weakling “who would be getting my neck rung by the bully and still saying shit,” Dan is ego-driven enough to envision a greater purpose. “Society sucks, and society says you need male validation. If you’re trying to say fat is attractive, as a lot of women out there are, it helps to find legitimate people who find this attractive.” Or, as he put it more bluntly on his Facebook page, after contributing two pro-fat pieces to lady blog The Hairpin, “I write about my preference for fat women in hopes that other men who share my preference will make themselves known so they’ll stop being little ballsacks and let the millions of fat women in this country find them.”

Riiiiight… society is telling men to get wood for slender babes. Yep, it’s that omnipotent society, pulling the strings of your penis, telling you when and when not to get an erection.

Hey, Dan, He who fucks gargantuan gelatinous cubes — maybe the reason millions of fat women in this country can’t find men to love them is because… oh, I don’t know… most men find fat women sexually repulsive? Not a sermon, just a thought.

Oh, but the fat chicks and their fatty fucking weirdo enablers just love to accuse the 99% of normal men who prefer thin hotties of lacking the courage to come out of the fatty fucker closet. Now where have we heard that insipid line of argument before? ooOOOOga!

In other words, Guys Who Like Fat Chicks are not make-believe. “We’re out there.”

So are sheep fuckers and necrophiliacs.

But the money quote part of this article is about a fat chick’s recollections of her time in Spain:

“There aren’t many fat girls in Spain,” reports Charlotte, who spent six months as an exchange student there in 2006. Back then, she weighed 425, and she claims that the department organizers at her Northeastern women’s college tried to dissuade her from going abroad because she was “too big.” She balked and went anyway, though she admits European daily life was far more taxing: The public bathrooms were “itty-bitty,” the online clothes retailers she frequents didn’t service Spain (Lane Bryant’s sizes are too small for her), and walking was the primary method of transportation. “Anytime I would walk down the street, people would stare at me like I was a circus sideshow. Here, people kind of like glance out of their eyes, but there people would stop and stare as I walked by.”

One time in Spain, an old woman spotted Charlotte in public, stopped abruptly, and crossed herself. “Like I was Satan.”

And there you have it: one of the main reasons why European girls stay thin. It’s the shaming, stupid.

But of course, it’s not just the shaming. People change for the better when the carrot and the stick are employed simultaneously.

After walking four miles a day overseas, Charlotte lost 75 pounds, which she gained back upon return.

In Europe, a smaller, densely populated continent, you can’t just ensconce your fat ass in a car everywhere you go. You have to get up and walk. And walking leads to weight loss, which leads to thinness and better sex with higher quality partners. This is why it’s so important to live in a city with a high walkability index. Your body and your love life will thank you. Plus, it’s a lot easier to meet girls on the sidewalk when you’re walking instead of craning your neck outside a car window.

Leftie outlets like the Village Voice love writing about the deviants of society, because their writers probably identify with them. But make no mistake… despite the drumbeat by equalists to normalize these fetishistic freaks, they are, and will remain, outcasts. So, no, Dan, “we’re” not out there. Rather, you’re out there. Be happy about it. You’ll never have a hard time meeting a desperate slovenly mound of blubber.

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Cheap Chalupas On Loser Men

The ol’ Open-borders-for-thee-but-gated-academia-for-me blogger-cum-economist has taken a stab at trying to explain why one-fifth of all prime working age men are unemployed. Other than the obvious market factors (helllooooo cheap, displacing, low human capital labor and negative externalities!), I’ve already outlined in this post why this recession is structurally different than past recessions, and the reasons for the decline in male labor market participation. Quote:

Prediction: As women’s financial status rises to levels at or above the available men in their social sphere, they will have great difficulty finding an acceptable long-term partner. The men, for their part, will turn away from emphasizing their ability to provide as they discover their mediocre-paying corporate jobs are no longer effective displays of mating value. They will instead emphasize the skills of “personality dominance”.

That post is now more than three years old. And its prediction has come true. All hail the Chateau, for here truth resideth, and the liars and dissemblers hang by their entrails from crosses made of fiat money.

Polite, liberal society seriously underestimates the impact the Pill, abortion and women’s financial independence has had on the labor market and employment levels. Incentives do matter, and in a world where women can pretty much support themselves and have sex free of the consequences of pregnancy, men as provider betas have become more expendable. A man cannot get the traction with women he once could get by simply going to an office from 9 to 5.

What I call the Four Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse has changed the rules of the dating market since its advent in the early 1960s. Men have either had to adapt to continue getting young hot tight pussy, or they have had to drop out, and society has enabled their dropping out with the convenient narcotics of video games and wide screen TVs, (and soon to be sexbots). Invasion of tens of millions of peasant laborers has contributed to the labor market malaise by sapping the native men of their will to compete for stagnant or dropping wages.

Yet, a bright spot exists. For those who won’t settle for less than success (and success for men is predominantly a function of how well they do with women, either directly or indirectly through the acquisition of power), game — i.e. studied charisma — has rushed in to fill the void.

Any economist whose head is stuck in a cycle of mumbling about aggregate demand is simply not seeing the forest for the trees. Widen your scope to include the id monster that supercharges human nature and behavior and you will begin to fathom consilience. Until then…

enjoy your exotic restaurant guides.

[crypto-donation-box]

The gay men and fat ugly goths sluts are out in force and want the safe, cocooned and civilized world to know that they should bear no responsibility for their own well-being at all.

An international series of protests known as SlutWalks, sparked by a Toronto police officer’s flippant comment that women should avoid dressing like “sluts” to avoid being raped or victimized, is taking root in the United States. […]

“It was taking the blame off the rapist and on the victim,” said Nicole Sullivan, 21, a student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston and an organizer of the SlutWalk planned Saturday in that city. “So we are using these efforts to reclaim the word ‘slut.’”

In addition to Boston, marches are planned in cities including Seattle, Chicago, Philadelphia, Reno, Nevada, and Austin, Texas.

“The event is in protest of a culture that we think is too permissive when it comes to rape and sexual assault,” said Siobhan Connors, 20, of Lynn, Massachusetts, another Boston organizer. “It’s to bring awareness to the shame and degradation women still face for expressing their sexuality … essentially for behaving in a healthy and sexual way.”

There’s nothing like a good, old-fashioned reclamation project. Of course, such a project is tacitly admitting that the thing you are reclaiming is a dung heap.

I find that you can know a lot about why people profess to believe what they do by looking at them.

Maybe they should rename it the Moob Walk?

These are very ugly, gender inspecific people who are loving the opportunity to express their sexuality free from the rejection they typically get everywhere that isn’t headlined a slut walk. It’s a “Hey, look at me! I’m a sexual being, too, underneath this fifty pounds of blubber and black eyeliner. Rapists are bad BAD people who want to ravish me in my skimpy muffin top support jeans. Oh god, I came.”

I’ve previously ripped this idiotic slut walk argument to shreds, so there’s no need to repeat that here. Instead, let’s hoist a shimmering bejeweled cane in honor of the mischievous rascals who are party crashing these slut walks with their own version called the Pimp Walk.

The Boston SlutWalk group has had to delete several “inappropriate comments” about women and faced criticism from a group that promised to organize a counter “Pimp Walk” in Boston, Connors said.

“We think it was put there as a joke, but it’s disturbing that a number of young people still feel that way,” said Connors, referring to sexist comments left on the page.

Pages dedicated to other cities’ SlutWalks also deleted inappropriate comments.

Well done, lads. But why stop at Facebook postings? Let’s make it official.

The Chateau hereby announces May 21st, the year of our Lord 2011, National Pimp Walk Day.

Spread (heh) the word. Link this blog post to as many internet outlets as you can find, from Yahoo to Jizzabel. Let’s get these hairy, heavy balls rolling. Remind the ladies what they really need and crave… a swaggering pimp not putting up with her shit.

Let’s show these wannabe whores the end of the rainbow… with a strong pimp hand. On May 21st, dress like a pimp and strut like your giant balls are pushing your legs apart. Go to work with a cane and gaudy hat. Peacock a bit. Be the subversive pimp daddy your harem demands of you. Stick a fat middle finger in the bloated faces of feminists and human resources departments everywhere. Show the good liberal world what a real man thinks of them.

The Pimp Walk mascot:

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We already know, thanks to the spiritually enriching wisdom of this blog, that a man should never say ‘I love you’ before his girlfriend has said it. But there’s more.

Reader Shark writes:

Other things to never say first:

“I miss you”
“Let’s be exclusive”
“I want to have children”

These are all right on the money. In fact, the only way a man can say the above and remain optimally attractive to his girlfriend is if a “too” is appended to each. For example:

“I miss you, too”

“I want to be exclusive, too”

“I want to have children, too. Wait… what?”

Better yet, a shit-eating smirk in response to a girlfriend saying any of the above works wonders to beef up alpha allure.

Additional emotional outpourings a man should never say first in a relationship:

“Let’s move in together”
“I was worried about you”
“At least let me know where you’ll be”
“Can I have your work number so I have a way to reach you in case of emergency?”
“I love cats”
“Your farts smell like a bouquet of roses”

The problem with emotional outpourings is that they will be perceived differently depending on the sex of the recipient. When a man hears these things from a girlfriend, he thinks ‘Wow, this chick is into me. The sex spigot is open at full blast!’

But when a woman hears these things unprompted from a boyfriend, she thinks ‘Aw, how sweet, he likes me. Hm. Kinda needy, though, isn’t it? Why are my labia curling inward?’

To a woman’s ears, her boyfriend’s ‘I miss you’ never just means ‘I miss you’. It also means ‘I’m really scared you’ll leave me’, and ‘I’m saying this as part of a passive-aggressive strategy to guilt you into continuing to allow me access to your pussy’, and ‘My god, there’s no way I can get another woman if you decide to upgrade.’ So be careful about not just the timing, but the tonality, of when and how you tell a lover you miss her, love her and/or wish to commit to her. Good rules of thumb:

  1. Make sure she has said it first at some point in the relationship.
  2. Wait at least three months into the relationship before dropping any emotional outpouring bombs (EOBs).
  3. Never drop an EOB before you’ve had sex with her ten or more times.
  4. Do not drop an EOB right after, or right before presumed, sex. Same goes for the immediate time after a fight. It will sound obligatory and, hence, false. EOBs are best deployed in an unpredictable manner, when she least expects them.

EOBs are inherently beta, and thus must be used with caution. Acts of beta (AoB) are never meant to be avoided entirely — the AoB is, in fact, a critical component of relationship game that helps to solidify a girlfriend’s feelings of comfort and security in your company — but they do need to be utilized with the utmost care, because overuse can happen quickly and *will* degrade a girlfriend’s attraction to you.

Some of you will undoubtedly ask, “Well, what if she never says any EOB first?” If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t consider her anything more than a fuck toy. Additional commitment with such a woman is courting heartbreak. Any woman truly falling for you will wind up blurting out an EOB against her better judgment. A woman in love can’t help herself.

Maxim #26: Women secretly hope that you won’t rob them of the opportunity to make themselves vulnerable before your alpha inscrutability.

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