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Category Archive for 'The Big City Life'

I was lounging in placid contentment on a sofa in a local lounge like a proper post-history, citizen-of-the-world nihilist enjoying the flume ride down the rump of American decline when I spotted a somewhat unkempt man with awkward mannerisms take a seat at a small table to my right. He was a little more homely […]

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Herb In The Wild

Take a look at this photo. Is the person on the right a man or a woman? Neither. It’s a herb . Particularly, a subspecies of herb known as the hipster herb. All the telltale indicators are here in one self-contained lump of flesh. The demasculinizing flip flops. The ungainly, loping walk that suggests the […]

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Update: A Second Herb!

Thanks to the eagle eye of reader W Baker , a second herb has been discovered in the photo of the herb with satchel. Unbelievable. Two herbs frolicking in the wild! What fortune. I didn’t even see the second herb when I snapped this shot. It’s like finding out your antique ceramic cat is hiding […]

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Things Are Changing

Case #1 I’m on a date with a girl from a small, poor Eastern European country. She used to live there as a little girl when it was still behind the Iron Curtain. After the Soviet Death Machine fell to pieces in 1989, she moved to the US and has been here ever since. I […]

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Conventional wisdom is that human females don’t go into heat — that is, their ovulation is hidden from male discernment — but I believe this is only partially true. The bars and clubs during the last couple weeks have been drenched in intoxicating estrogen. I notice this each year when spring begins, right around the […]

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Anti-Game

Zeets and I were at a multi-floored historic mansion converted into a bar/restaurant/lounge (a not uncommon idiosyncrasy of the city) that features the hottest female waitstaff and bartenders in the city. For those locals who have been there, you’ll know what I mean – sweet dushkas! Just more evidence that Russian women are on average […]

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Here’s this link to a New York Beta Times story about SWPL perimenopausal women having dreams of Barack Obama — psychosexual fantasies and stalkerish glorifications of the Obama family. The NYBTimes has been churning out some truly vomitus copy as of late, but for sheer sickening nausea this story may very well spew the farthest. […]

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Craigslist is coughing up some gems lately . Reasons I Like My Cats More Than Any Man I Have Dated in the DC Area – 23 (For Anti-Cat Man) Reply to: XXX Date: 2009-01-27, 10:00AM EST Dedicated to the old, cat-hating man…I’ve provided a list of reasons that my two kitties are better than any […]

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It’s another installment of Dating in the City where I chronicle the mirth and madness of dating the headcases and cheap whores that live and work here. The women of this city cough up an endless stream of fodder for my blog. For that, I thank you ladies. Zeets: You’re not going to believe what […]

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Who goes to these venues anymore? I’m talking about clubs like Fur and Platinum in DC. The era of the multi-floor, $12 bottom shelf drink, $20 cover, $20 valet parking, bottle service douchery, strobe and laser light show, Axe fumigated, plastic wristband tagged, earsplitting, bump and grind dance club playing cheesy house and electro music […]

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