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Who goes to these venues anymore? I’m talking about clubs like Fur and Platinum in DC. The era of the multi-floor, $12 bottom shelf drink, $20 cover, $20 valet parking, bottle service douchery, strobe and laser light show, Axe fumigated, plastic wristband tagged, earsplitting, bump and grind dance club playing cheesy house and electro music is over. Any man who’s lived a day knows these places are the worst for scoring quality chicks low on STD count, and not much better for hooking same night lays.

The trend is away from these soulless behemoths to smaller, more intimate dance clubs and lounges. Maybe it’s a sign of the coming economic collapse that people are turning to low key places, or maybe guys are wising up to the fact that it’s easier, cheaper and more effective to game girls in the daytime or in less artificial environments. I predict that soon we will see a major contraction in the number of megaclubs littering major cities like DC and New York.

Any place that features a huge dancefloor with girls dancing in lockout circles creating a perimeter defense, screeching when their favorite song comes on, and little space left over for couches and quiet areas where you can sit with a girl and talk her into sex is a bad bet. Personally, I get bored with dancing after five minutes, so I usually lose interest in gaming a girl who wants to dance all night. It’s pointless when there are better things she could be doing with her body, like greasing up her ass crack so I can play log flume.

The wave of the future is Unanticipated Pickup. You read it here first. Men will learn the value of approaching girls when and where they least expect it, catching pleasantly surprised girls off guard with bitch shields lowered, and from that solid foundation better dating experiences will follow, and the yin-yang polarity will be strong. Now no place will be safe haven for women from the predations of guys like me.

Next stop: Church, back of the pews. Giggity!

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