Standing on the long escalator into the bowels of the Woodley Park metro, a small Asian woman excused herself to get by me as she strode down the descending steps briskly. Just in front of me, a family of four stood like grazing cattle on both the left and right sides of the escalator, heavily […]
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Posted in Game, Maxims, The Big City Life on Oct 22nd, 2009
Discount bin answer: Never. Gamers’ Edition Bonus Pak answer: It depends. I was at a small-ish film fest party for a guy who directed a couple of short documentaries. Crowd size: ~80-100 peeps, skewed toward women, most of whom were cute artsy scenesters who liked to wear woolen caps and scarves indoors. Because, you know, […]
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There is a group of SWPLs outside on the balcony right now discussing the finer points of wine. They are mocking some mutual friend they know for being pretentious about wine by… being pretentious about wine. “Oh, like, so X says she had dinner with Napa Valley’s best sommelier.” “She’s such a wine snob. I […]
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Posted in Game, Girls, The Big City Life on Sep 7th, 2009
I’ve found day game nirvana. The Paper Source , on M Street in Georgetown, is swimming in snapper. Swimming, Jerry! I couldn’t believe the wall to wall babes in this place, browsing, of all things, paper and paper accessories. As one Yelp reviewer wrote: What is it about women and stationary? If a girl ever […]
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First there was this . Then this herb poked his fat head up from his burrow. Then a magnificent specimen of herb was spotted on the concrete plains of a SWPL savannah. Suddenly herbs started springing up everywhere, wearing frontal papooses , inexplicably carrying satchels into nightclubs , and laying their bulbous heads in the […]
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Zeets and I were out with a mixed group. One of the girls got very drunk on martinis (fast action truth serum) and pulled Zeets aside for what I thought was the beginning of making beautiful music together. Later that night, Zeets announced he was going home alone, and the rest of us were left […]
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Posted in Beta, The Big City Life on Jun 9th, 2009
What do herbs carry in their satchels that they need convenient access to whatever is inside while at nightclubs? Grapes? A back issue of Wired ? Naomi Wolf’s ‘The Beauty Myth’ ? E tabs? An Obama-shaped buttplug? Scientists are baffled. Other trademarks of the species herbisaurus maximus : He goes straight to the leg press […]
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Posted in Game, The Big City Life on Jun 4th, 2009
In this post I asked where I went wrong. Some of you got the right answer (and some of you – feministx, omw – were wide of the mark). While I can’t go back in time and tap the neural network of the stripper I tried to bang to find out what she was thinking, […]
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Posted in Game, The Big City Life on May 27th, 2009
This is the story of the time I attempted to pick up a stripper while she was working her shift at a gentlemen’s club. I failed at this attempt. As you read my story, try to figure out where it went wrong. *** I showed up with two buddies. We went to the upper floor […]
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Posted in Beta, Culture, The Big City Life on May 10th, 2009
I’m sitting here in a coffeehouse and to my right are three people — a black man, a white woman, and a white man — sitting adjacent on a couch. All three are haughtily typing on Macbooks propped on their knees. I stare at them, smiling. “Ha, you guys look like a commercial.” I point […]
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