Where pretty lies perish.
Posted in Beta, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Marriage Is For Chumps, Self-aggrandizement on Feb 18th, 2009
I’m about to reveal something of myself most of you don’t know. A few years ago, my wife, Marie, and I were at one of those hip downtown restaurants sipping mangotinis and nibbling on injera bread when one of my bosses appeared with his thin trophy wife in tow and patted my shoulder. When I introduced him to … Read more
Posted in Beta, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Ugly Truths on Nov 25th, 2008
In my “Defining the Alpha Male” post, I described the detritus of malehood: Lesser Omega, [Can only get] 0s and 1s, Will never feel love; can’t keep a girl longer than 3 days, Dry spells > 5 years. I’ve already taken you on journeys exploring the vast wastelands of the beta universe, but that was … Read more
Posted in Hungry Hungry Hippos, Ugly Truths, Vanity on Nov 16th, 2008
Fat lesbians. LESBIANS are twice as likely as heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, which puts them at greater risk for obesity-related health problems and death, US researchers said. Men keep women in check. Freed from the biological need to be visually attractive to men, women regress quickly to a state of blubbery bliss. “The results of these … Read more
Posted in Hungry Hungry Hippos, Marriage Is For Chumps on Nov 12th, 2008
If you insist on ignoring the plain facts of day and all the advice I give here, and act against your self-interest by getting married, you should at least take care to avoid investing in any product that carries a high risk of MASSIVELY depreciating after the first bite of wedding cake. You don’t want to be left … Read more
Posted in Girls, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Ugly Truths on Nov 7th, 2008
About five years ago I had a two month fling with a young girl. She had a cute face but was a little on the chubby side, probably 15 pounds over ideal female weight for her height. As a result, I didn’t put much effort into dating her, preferring instead to enjoy the easy sex … Read more
Posted in Current Events, Globalization, Hungry Hungry Hippos on Oct 6th, 2008
The Dow is down 26% year to date. If a protracted and deep recession leads to the average woman cutting costs at the supermarket and steering clear of the high calorie packaged foodstuffs, it could mean more slender women and, consequently, better sex. Hard times bring “hard” times.
Posted in Fashion, Girls, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Vanity on Sep 29th, 2008
At least, not the ones who work as fashion models on the runways of Paris and New York. Check out the weird combination of masculine jawline, flairing nostrils (the better to snort four lines at once), and uberfeminine saucer plate eyes on this chick, model Masha Tyelna. if she made a baby with billy joel how big would its … Read more
Posted in Hungry Hungry Hippos on Aug 6th, 2008
All U.S. adults could be overweight in 40 years. When the last remaining slender American woman walks the earth, even masterful grade A game won’t help. You’ll be competing with ten million other men for her sex.
Posted in Beta, Biomechanics is God, Closing the Deal, Hitting The Wall, Hungry Hungry Hippos, The Pleasure Principle on Aug 1st, 2008
If you are a beta who lacks the game, attributes, or status to bed 8s and above there is hope for you. By choosing your targets wisely, you can experience the exquisite and unparalleled pleasure of having sex with a hot girl — the kind of girl normally reserved for the apex alphas at the top of the … Read more
Posted in Hungry Hungry Hippos, Ugly Truths on Jun 30th, 2008
Kazakh beauty jumps to death in financial district. Ruslana Korshunova, 20, whose face has graced the cover of French Elle and Russian Vogue, apparently jumped from her ninth-floor apartment in her Water Street building in the Financial District just before 2:30 p.m. Lots of fat shits dying prematurely. Conclusions: The estimated number of annual deaths … Read more
