This post is also available in: German
About five years ago I had a two month fling with a young girl. She had a cute face but was a little on the chubby side, probably 15 pounds over ideal female weight for her height. As a result, I didn’t put much effort into dating her, preferring instead to enjoy the easy sex (mostly blowjobs) and being aloof while she chased me. And chase she did. The hard-to-get badboy attitude worked like magic on her because she was a girl of “high primativeness“:
The primativeness correlates more with emotionality than with culture. Instinctive programs, when finding resemblance of internal signaling attributes with some factors of outside situation, create corresponding emotions and a highly primative person gladly submits to them. A low primative person, feeling the same forceful emotions, is capable of acting contrary to them. […]
As was mentioned above, women trust intuition and feelings more than logical conclusions, this composes a so-called woman’s logic. I.e. the highly primative specimens are prevalent among women. […]
There is a widespread opinion among the vulgar public that it is necessary to beat a wife from time to time. By this a husband beating his wife demonstrates kind of high rank (visual, of course). And this can even attract a low cultural woman especially with high primativeness (masochism probably grows on this ground). Such woman rushes to defend her man as soon as the first hair falls down from his head despite asking to punish him only a moment before. Highly cultural and especially low-primative woman will not act this way. And actual rank of this man can be quite low. Even his buddies may have no respect for him. However, it is appropriate to mention that the instinct cannot analyze anything it just reacts on some key attributes, in this case – aweless attitude to a woman (if he beats -> he does not appreciate -> he has many women -> alpha has many women).
Anyhow, I was dating around and eventually grew tired of the drama with this girl. She planted herself on my front stoop one evening waiting for me to get home from work, a delirious look in her eyes. That was the deal killer. I allowed our fling to fizzle out. My tolerance for a girl’s annoying behavior drops with each extra pound she carries.
Fast forward a few years. I was at a party and she was there. She had lost some weight and, naturally, looked better. I geared up to apply a heaping dose of my patented devilish charm. We reminisced, kissed, and met for a date a week later. The date went fine as far as reunion dates go, considering our sexual history, but I could sense she was occupied with more than our conversation. I dropped her off and went home. I texted her a few days later and got no reply. I didn’t pay it much heed or bother following up because I was dating two other women at the time.
Recently, a friend of mine bumped into this girl on the Metro. I had first met her through him, so they knew each other. They chatted and the subject of my reunion date with her came up. She told my friend she stopped “dating” me (in a girl’s world, one date is equivalent to “dating”) because “I only liked her now that she was thin”. Presumably, she thought this meant I wasn’t interested in her true self.
She was right. I wanted to reacquaint myself with her and fuck her because she had lost weight and looked better than before.
Necessary but not sufficient. Women have trouble comprehending this phrase, much like they are born with a mental block making them incapable of grasping the concepts of generalizations and exceptions to the rule.
A hot skinny body and pretty face is necessary for a man to find a woman attractive, but it is not a guarantee for creating a deep love that will last. This girl, like most girls, had an insecure ego-based fear that she was being judged by her looks instead of her more nebulous attributes. Former chubbies are often acutely cognizant of this and consequently harbor tremendous resentment against men and a loathing of male desire. Only a few former chubbies have the open heart and love of men for who they are to avoid spiraling into a lovekilling vengeful trap of anti-male sentiment.
Here is the truth ladies: You ARE being judged primarily on your looks by men who want to fuck you. Get used to it. Your personality is only icing on the cake that matters more when the kinetic fucking turns into relationship potential.
I hope for the sake of her love life that this girl doesn’t carry her fat baggage to the next guy she dates. No man wants to be made to feel guilty for his masculine desire.