Feed on
Posts
Comments

How I Break Up With Girls

I don’t lower the boom or pull the band-aid off quickly. In potentially high drama situations, I simply don’t trust a lot of the girls I dump to not come at me with a carved wooden swordfish. (It’s happened.) Nor do I break up like a beta through text or email. Nope, I just let it fade. Taking the easy way out has its virtues. No muss, no fuss.

So I kind of let the end sneak up on her. I gradually see her less. Whenever she wants to do something I say “Sure… I guess.” I don’t return calls promptly. I make a big production of NOT being chivalrous. I spend even less money on her than I normally do. Eventually, a whole week goes by where I haven’t seen her, or more than a day passes before I’ve returned a call, or she gets hit in the ass by a revolving door that I’ve barreled through first, or I’ve started recycling my “free date” options where I get to do the things I wanted to do anyhow (like sample all the Fenders in Guitar Center) and she gets to be a spectator. It’s at this point that she scratches her head and wonders “Wow, I think we’re broken up. What just happened?”

That’s my MO. I’ll know I have succeeded when I can get the girl to ask herself “What just happened?”

What just happened is you have crossed paths with the poonhound.

[crypto-donation-box]

Witty Banter

There are two types of chicks that give me headaches.

The girl who gets aroused by witty banter. Usually this will go on for hours until she is sufficiently lubricated for sex, and then another three hours after sex to seal the bonding process. Eventually, I give up on girls like this, and turn one eye to the TV while she banters into my exposed ear. 

Please, Witty Banter Woman, get your endless witty banter foreplay with a gay boyfriend (they are known to have the gene for witty banter) and then come back to me for the nonverbal coup de grace. Why do you think hours of verbal sparring, double entendres, and superclever sexual innuendo will get and keep my cock hard? I blew my witty banter load on the first run-up to your pussy, when it mattered. Maybe if you were being oh-so-clever while inserting yankee candles into your pussy I might be motivated to parry your repartee.

The other type is Political Activist Chick. Nothing drains the mood faster than a heated one-way discussion about abortion or George Bush while my hand is sliding up your thigh. Unless you have something truly original to say, I don’t care. You may think arguing over politics is a romantic way to build a connection, but it only makes me want to kick you out in favor of porn. I have learned through hard, annoying experience that 90% of DC girls, especially supposedly smart girls who have graduated from a Seven Sisters college, have retarded political views that parrot whatever happens to be the consensus among their peers. The remaining 10% have rational opinions and are also smart enough to know that it’s not sexy to talk politics.

America took a turn for the worse once single women started voting in droves.

Witty Banter Woman and Political Activist Chick wistfully remind me of one of my Russian ex-gfs who would just sit there and knit or organize her recipe book in between giving me world class hummers. Sometimes she’d spice up our blessedly short convos with a loving Slavic nickname for me (I think it was loving). Her grasp of the nuances and idioms of English were not great so hours of witty banter and political sermonizing were automatically off the table. Not talking keeps the passion burning longer.

Finding the perfect woman is proving to be a chore. Viva sexbots!

[crypto-donation-box]

Grabbing 2008 By The Zeroes

1. Shun losers. They will magnify your worst personality traits.

2. Acknowledge your strengths AND weaknesses. Improve those things about yourself which will benefit most from your efforts and avoid squandering your energy trying to attain minimal competence in areas you are naturally weak.

3. Dispel negativity. Always picture yourself at the top of the mountain looking down than in the valley looking up.

4. Don’t defend your limitations. Your ego can as easily hold you back as propel you forward.

5. Jettison politics from your personal life. Jawing about political ideology is worse than useless — it’s a time suck and a trick played by your status-seeking reptilian hindbrain on your frontal lobes that does nothing to bring you more happiness OR status. Your vote really won’t matter. Don’t believe me? When was the last time a significant election was decided by one vote?

6. It’s OK to hate. Like greed, it clarifies.

7. When in doubt, affect a pose of indifference.

8. Live by a fluid code of ethics. There will be those times when acting unethically will be personally advantageous and relatively consequence-free. In these cases the guilt won’t last more than five minutes.

9. Fuck resolutions. They are for people who couldn’t get their shit together the previous 365 days.

10. You are not a special little snowflake, but you should act like you are. If people are going to form impressions of you it’s better they make false positive ones than true negative ones.

11. Stop living your life as if karma will reward you for your goodness and smite your enemies for their badness. A mystical moral payback system does not exist. See: Chairman Mao.

12. If you are a guy with options, don’t get married. It is a raw deal. If you do get married, and the inevitable shittiness of it reveals itself to you in phony headaches, mundane monogamy, domesticated servitude, escalating expectations, and divorce theft, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

13. There is no such thing as unconditional love. If a girl gains 50 pounds her boyfriend will fall out of love with her. If a guy loses his job and drifts into months of unemployed depression his girlfriend will fall out of love with him. Thinking clearly on this will give you the best chance to find real love.

14. Never compromise on love. It is the only thing in this world that isn’t bullshit.

15. Many of you will think #14 contradicts #13. You would be wrong.

16. The next time you think girls are sugar and spice and everything nice, just remember… they like to be choked.

[crypto-donation-box]

Serial Seducer

I have found my twin ego – platonic soulmate – in New York City. He’s a self-proclaimed serial seducer who has just outed himself on national TV. Despite the anti-romance subversion of his message, his fifteen minutes of fame will guarantee a doubling of his current notch count. His steely-eyed pursuit of the pussy earns him my respect.

“Either you acknowledge reality and use it to your benefit, or it will automatically work against you.”
– Robert Ringer

He has written a short e-book outlining his pickup philosophy and field tactics. Standard fare for those of us in the know, but a wider audience would probably find his advice scandalous. I noticed a lot of what he writes parallels my experiences in the field. For instance, he agrees with my assessment of the best night of the week to go out for picking up chicks:

My schedule is drinks with girls Sunday night through Wednesday, and often Friday as well because it’s an early night because I work at 8:30 on Saturday morning. Thursdays, perhaps the best night of the week to go out, I usually go “window shopping” with a buddy, a wingman. We usually go out to check out the hot scenes and look at the girlies all done-up. We may meet a couple girls, even get digits or get laid, but the bulk of my work is not accomplished here.

He also agrees with me on the value of building intrigue in a woman by not talking too much when you first meet her:

The less than one-minute engagement works for a number of reasons. First off all, it prevents the guy from doing anything stupid or awkward, or revealing too much. A nervous guy can torpedo a promising situation by talking too much and turning the girl off, or freaking her out, perhaps by mentioning he lives at home with his folks, or something like that. The less talking you do, the better. Women, as well as men, like the fantasy or “romance” of meeting “that guy”, and since almost no guy is ever going to live-up to some bullshit Prince Charming archetype (who wants to, anyhow) at least prolong the fantasy for your benefit. This leads to the second reason the one-minute engagement works: it maintains the intrigue. “Who was that dashing stranger I just met in the rain?” she thinks as you walk off with your raincoat trailing and your umbrella extended. As they are reeling from the encounter, trying to process what just happened and remember the fine details of what you said, and how you looked, and just how you stood, you’re already gone, not there to fuck it up. They’re hooked. Their mind is already working on you.

Luck favors the laconic. Until you’ve had sex with a woman, it’s my experience that less talking is better. Women tend to be better talkers and can intuit a tremendous amount from some guy who is yapping his gums off. Keep things unspoken, or refuse to divulge stuff; above all, keep it playful, flirty and mildly combative. The French have a word for it – badinage – which means playful, verbal banter.

Keep in mind that this guy is a Harvard grad, so it’s not stupidity that necessitates his economy of words.

I was not surprised to see he’s a big fan of text messaging, like I am, which flies in the face of some of the conventional wisdom that texting is beta:

It is the era of the text message, and men all over the world should be thanking their lucky stars. Not only is this the most effective way to control the conversation and avoid missteps, but you can now reach a larger audience. As my friend Nathan says, “Text messaging has got to be the worst thing that has happened to women in a long time.” It removes that old filter that used to prevent all types of guys from getting laid, something we call “Women’s Intuition”. You know what I’m talking about. You leave a pleasant voicemail on some chic’s phone after meeting her, but you ramble a bit and the tone of your voice becomes increasingly less confident and unsure of itself. You hang up, dissatisfied with the call. It’s the Swingers dilemma – do you call back, etc. (Never call back, by the way). She senses your nervousness, gets turned off, and deletes your number.

Getting little text messages via phone gets them excited in the way a little girl gets excited about a letter from Daddy when he’s away. There is something more fun or romantic, and mysterious about texting, I don’t know. Plus you can make outrageous propositions that you could never deliver with aplomb over the phone, much less in person.

From the video, Janka is a good-looking guy, and that, coupled with the power of dropping the H-bomb on dates, probably gives him a leg up over the average schmo. However, he says his success rate with women only skyrocketed after he learned game — or what he calls “having fun and maintaining my integrity as a man” — which is really just another way to describe the heart of game. This, too, comports with my personal experience. No matter how much objective value a man brings to the dating table, if he doesn’t have a grasp of female psychology and how to handle it his interactions with women will feel like a grind — cajoling, compromising, begging, pushing, pleading, pursuing — just to get a taste of pussy.

Reading further into Janka’s e-book, it turns out he makes little money as an SAT tutor and lives in a glorified closet in Manhattan. In NYC, this is enough to negate his advantage in looks and educational credentials. So clearly game is his biggest asset.

In a related article, a frigid man-hating bitch psychiatrist offers the following helpful advice to a 41 year old man who loves making love with women and being happy as a man:

For your own sake and for the sake of everyone else unfortunate enough to have their lives intersect with yours, you need help. If you don’t stop this behavior, you will likely contract a disease, get yourself arrested or enrage someone so much that you are harmed. If you want to try living a normal life — something beyond a life governed by sexual addiction — you need treatment, either individual treatment or group treatment.

Yes, did you get that? If you are a man who is not afraid to be a man and likes sex with a variety of women you need professional help. I wonder if I counseled women who were addicted to commitment from the men they dated that they should seek treatment for their conditions how they would take it? Offended, I’m guessing. And if the women I counseled complained that they can’t help themselves, I will say “You have free will, right?”

Older women on the precipice of sexual extinction – like this wretched psychiatrist – especially loathe men who are able to exercise their options in the sexual market because these men, through their actions seducing multitudes of women, remind them of their rapidly diminishing market value and interchangeability. A free man who can get pussy when he wants undermines the greatest source of women’s power. To the keepers of polite society, it cannot stand, so men who are able to satisfy their sex drives must be demonized and declared unfit for normal life.

I am wishing this desiccated cunt psychiatrist labial cancer with my mind.

In other news, Chelsea Clinton is still dog ugly. I predict she will have her first… and only… child at the tender age of 36. The Bush twins, meanwhile, will be very fertile.

[crypto-donation-box]

You Write Like A Girl

Why does girls’ handwriting look so… girlish? If one hundred anonymous handwritten essays from a college class were placed in front of me I could correctly deduce the author’s sex at least 80% of the time. I bet I could even pick out the lesbians.

I used to think that a biological basis for sex-specific handwriting was one of those theories I strongly suspected was true but didn’t have the evidence to prove. But it turns out there is evidence linking biology with girly handwriting:

This study investigated whether there could be a biological determinant of the judged gender of handwriting. It further investigated the potential interplay between these variables and sex role identification. The biological marker used was 2D:4D digit ratio (of index to ring finger length) which is negatively associated with prenatal testosterone and positively with prenatal oestrogen. Handwriting samples of 120 participants (half of each sex) were presented on computer to be rated for gender by 20 raters. Feedback on accuracy was given after each trial. These raters accurately identified the gender of two thirds of the sample and the rated difference between the sexes was large (d = 0.75). These ratings of handwriting gender correlated significantly with digit ratio and the femininity scale of the BSRI. A more conservative analysis this time within each sex found that women’s right hand digit ratio correlated with relative sexuality of handwriting, but there was no corresponding relationship for the males. These findings suggest that prenatal hormonal influences can affect later female handwriting performance and might even affect developmental inter-hemispheric differences, but do not appear to impact on males.

So all those big loop-de-loops and circles for dots in girls’ penmanship may be a result of estrogen exposure in the womb rather than peer pressure or “socialization” — that empty catch-all explanation feminists reflexively invoke.

I get this feeling that eventually nearly everything we do as humans will be explained by combinations of genes, enzymes, and hormones. The state of science is advancing like a locomotive in the direction of Darwinian determinism and away from the cultural determinism that has held sway over the human sciences for the past half century. With each new discovery stale ideologies like feminism wheeze another death rattle.

This site has an interesting legend detailing the differences between male and female penmanship styles. Skip the PC posturing in the beginning paragraphs and scroll down a bit to find the handwriting samples. The analysis is very comprehensive. For instance, if the white space inside your closed letters — like the letters a or d — is small, then you are probably a man.

Here is a sample of my handwriting:


mathematically true.

According to the handwriting experts, the open ascenders on my ds and the sharp corners of my ns prove that I have a ten inch schlong.

My ideal woman would have handwriting that looked like this:


also mathematically true.

Can’t you just feel the love in those letters? I think I see a rainbow over the last word.

Coming Soon: The time I dated a girl I thought may have been a tranny and how I used her handwriting to help me make a critical decision.

[crypto-donation-box]

Bad Date

How a man and woman describe the same bad date.

Man

she kept talking about herself… she talked about the most boring shit… when she blabbed about her ex i tried to change the subject… her left tit was smaller… her breath stank… her ass was kinda flat… i put my arm around her waist to check for rolls and she’s got a little muffin top… she turned her face at the last second when i went for the kiss, i hate when a chick plays coy… i just want to bang her and get it out of the way, then we can get to know each other…

Woman

he kept talking about himself… he wasn’t listening to me at all… he kept interrupting me when i asked about his dating history, god he’s got so much baggage!… he was staring at my boobs… his shoes were scuffed… i caught him checking out my ass, he was so obvious… he got too touchy-feely when he put his arm around me… he tried to kiss me and i could see it coming a mile away, his timing is so bad… i just want to get to know a guy before i sleep with him…

[crypto-donation-box]

Website Find Of The Week

Ow, my balls!

Why are guys getting punched in the sack so much funnier than girls getting hit in the vagina?

Hidden psyche answer:

Because by nature, men are expendable.

PS: Here are a couple more nad shots I found artistically elevated:

God Vs Satan

2 Balls 1 Foot

[crypto-donation-box]

Freedom

It has been three years since I last played a video game for any length of time. Yes, I include Solitaire in this. I have never played or even seen World of Warcraft.

I built my home computer from the ground up to prove to myself I could do it, but when it is time to upgrade I will save myself the geeky effort and purchase a retail unit.

I have averaged about 2.5 hours of TV watching per week in the past two years, and I went the entire month of August not having watched any TV at all. I watched five minutes of NASCAR out of curiosity. I didn’t get it.

Into the mindless entertainment void I have substituted more hours playing my guitar, reading books, writing (not just the blog. I’m also working on a screenplay. Coming soon to theaters worldwide.), listening to new music, and scoring.

While my retreat from TV has cost me some valuable pop culture knowledge I could have potentially cashed in for connection points with girls I try to seduce, my deeper foray into the indie music scene has put my finger on the pulse of a powerful cultural current that has given me much more to talk about with the type of girls I like than TV ever has.

Discovering new music is more difficult when you are older. As a teenager and college student I was surrounded by people my age tapped into the latest musical fads and concert schedules. New music came to me. Now, I go to the music. I have to put in serious effort to find music I like that is also popular with my target demographic (21-32 year old women), and this means many hours logged onto pitchfork.com and scouring the showtimes at Black Cat and 9:30 club.

There seem to be two orders of magnitude more bands today than there were even ten years ago. A new band pops up daily. Most of them are flashes in the pan with one listenable song that the music critics cream their jeans for using mellifluous nonsense words like “reluctantly noirish” and “emotionally punchy, angular industro-funk-trance”, which makes me wonder how these same critics would have described an up-and-coming Led Zeppelin or Nirvana. Most indie bands have ridiculously long and/or unintelligible names that would make more sense in Esperanto.

The era of the arena band with staying power is long over. The era of the niche “let’s blow our creative load on one album, get laid like gangbusters and make a small fortune off internet viral marketing, then exit the scene” band is in full swing. Making too much money and banging too much pussy off the fruits of your first single release is bad for creative longevity. Led Zeppelin didn’t begin raking it in until their third album.

My favorite song as of this writing is “Atlas” by Battles.

I watch 50% fewer movies in the theater now than I did five years ago. I have missed some good movies, but much crap has also not polluted my sensitive brain.

On balance, I believe I have improved my personal entertainment profile.

[crypto-donation-box]

Compliance

Spend any amount of time in the company of naturals and you’ll notice something they all have in common is how, without much forethought, they have women do things for them.

“Here, take my hand.”

“Follow me.”

“Be a cool girl and buy me a beer.”

“Hold onto my scarf, I want to show you something.” 

Pickup artists have a name for this type of social interaction — compliance game. It’s a very important component of pickup because it serves two powerful functions; one, it forces the woman into the man’s frame of reality, and two, it raises his value relative to hers. If she is not getting her way and is consenting to him getting his way, then she is in his world where he makes the rules. He now sets the pace and direction of the seduction. This is very attractive to women. When she invests in him by doing things for him, no matter how insignificant (“hold my scarf”), her acquiescence creates an emotional state that influences her perception of him as having high social value. The very act of assenting to a random person’s command establishes an authority/follower dynamic, no matter the objective differences in their actual value.

Pickup artists have, in all their systematizing and categorizing intellectual glory, devised ways to mimic the naturals’ instinctive game and get the same results from women. I have used these methods, both consciously and instinctually, and the results are nothing short of astounding. Testing for compliance is an indispensable technique.

Recent innovations in the “pickup community” give even more ammunition to the inveterate seducer. Here, I will pass along one.

Sometimes, a girl will not comply with the positive vibe you are trying to generate. Maybe you said something nerdy or you were prematurely forward or your body language wasn’t right. When this happens an awkward tension occurs. She looks at you funny or crosses her arms. Think of it as her trying to impose her reality on you. The way to turn it around is to call her out on her behavior and make it seem as if her noncompliance is strange. For example, let’s say you just asked her to give you her palm for a reading and she reacts with a weird look.

Girl: [weird look]

You: [lean back and give her a suspicious eye] Hey, what’s going on? You’re giving me a funny look and it’s really making me feel kind of awkward. You’re cool with all this, right?

Girl: No, don’t worry, everything’s cool. It was just a strange request.

You: Yeah, well, that look you gave was weirding me out. If you’re not comfortable feel free to leave anytime.

Girl: No, no, really, it’s OK. You’re cool.

Congratulations, you have just escorted the girl straight into your reality. Not only is she complying, but she has verbalized that you are cool. By calling her weird for her behavior or saying she is giving off weird vibes, (“weird” is an excellent word to use on a girl because it’s a word that girls use all the time to describe things about men that bother them), you force her to qualify herself to you. Adding that she can leave at any time assuages her that you are non-needy.

You can run with this technique until she is all smiles, telling you she likes you, and hugging you.

You: I’m glad we’re cool with each other. Come here, give me a hug. Whoa, hands up here, not down there!

Ultimately, the goal is to reframe every negative thing a girl does or says as a problem with her, not you, so that you are never on the defensive making excuses for yourself. A defensive man is a sexless man.

[crypto-donation-box]

Lying For Sex

Getting laid is so critical to a man’s well-being that if he needs to lie to get it I’m not morally scandalized. I liken it to the unemployed man who has to steal bread in order to feed his starving family. The sexless man would be negligent not to avail himself of the shadier moral choices to cure his condition.

If lies are necessary to avoid the walking death of celibacy then it is worth the soulpence it may cost in whatever personal code of integrity a man follows. A lie to bed a woman does her little harm. After all, what exactly has changed… what actual harm has been done to her… if the next morning she finds out he works at Taco Bell instead of Goldman Sachs? The sex will still have felt as good because a discovered lie cannot undo the past. Unless she has made important life decisions with him on the first night together the lie will not have any influence on her future. At best, she can say that had she known the truth she would have enjoyed one more night of sleeping alone.

The reason men lie for sex is because it is an option that is available to them. It’s a courtship tactic that exists because women look for non-obvious signals of attractiveness in men. Lying takes advantage of a woman’s base motives — her lust for powerful men, conspicuous displays of resources and confidence, and the feeling of being seduced — by feeding her what she wants to hear. Women lie as well when they wear makeup and act coquettish but that is not of the same order of magnitude as the lies men have at their disposal to beguile women into sex. Men pretty much know with a quick glance whether they want to bang a girl so girls don’t have much room to lie their way onto a man’s erection. Therefore, it is easier for girls to assume the moral high ground because their virtue is born of necessity. They’d lie like men if easy sex were on their agenda or it helped them as much to get what they want in a partner.

If a loser has trouble getting laid the normal way I see no reason why he should handicap himself by adopting a posture of perfect moral rectitude and telling the truth when it will obviously hurt his cause. The reward for such good behavior — many nights alone with his hand — hardly compensates for the sex he could have gotten through amoral means. Lying can be an attainable way for a beta to get a few early notches under his belt and purify himself of the stink of desperation.

Take the following two scenarios illustrating why lying for sex is not always the black-or-white moral decision many women want men to believe.

  1. She asks if he’s a virgin. (Odd question to ask, but let’s assume something about him gave her cause for concern.) He’s a 30 year old man and is, in fact, a virgin. If he answers “yes” he has seriously impacted his chance to get laid. If he lies, he keeps his goal in sight and she loses nothing.
  2. He has terminal cancer and will die in one year. He has been dating a girl for two months and it is going well. Both of them feel the first stirrings of love. She doesn’t know of his disease. He wants to spend his remaining time on earth in the arms of a woman who loves him. If he tells her the truth she may leave him or withdraw her love so as to avoid wasting a year of her life on a man who won’t be around to support her and the family she eventually wants. If he lies he has, in effect, stolen a year of her prime dating marketability, though he has given her a year of love she was not guaranteed to get without him.

While I have no abstract moral hang-up about lying I don’t recommend it as a seduction tool for three reasons.

  • It’s weak game

Lying is the cut & paste, band-aid version of game. It’s quick and dirty and often effective, but won’t last. It has no roots, no foundation. It’s better to spend the effort to learn good solid game that will be there for you in any situation than to use the crutch of weak game where you have to waste energy keeping track of all your lies. You will feel a greater sense of accomplishment winning over a woman without resorting to outright lies and this will redound to your self-confidence.

  • It complicates the pursuit of long term relationships

Lies work well for one night stands and even short term flings if the guy doesn’t contradict himself. But long term relationships — the ones where you go shopping for a condo together or she visits you at the office to drop off your lunch — will crumble under an edifice of lies. If you work at Taco Bell she’ll find out eventually. False advertising moves product only up until the first recall. So if you are looking for lasting love it pays to resist the temptation to lie away perceived flaws.

  • Lying is self-reinforcing

The big problem with lying is that once you start, you can’t stop. One lie requires two more to sustain, and two lies requires four. You will soon find yourself mired in a fantasy world of talented Mr. Ripley proportions (which isn’t so bad if you have his skills of deception) that will kill any chance at a healthy relationship unless the girl is a complete masochist for your lying bad ass. (Those girls do exist.) Plus, lying encourages reliance on other bad habits to seduce a woman. If you lie to attract a woman then other parts of your game are likely to be equally sloppy.

Moral of this post: Don’t lie. Evade.

[crypto-donation-box]

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »