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Compliance

This post is also available in: German

Spend any amount of time in the company of naturals and you’ll notice something they all have in common is how, without much forethought, they have women do things for them.

“Here, take my hand.”

“Follow me.”

“Be a cool girl and buy me a beer.”

“Hold onto my scarf, I want to show you something.” 

Pickup artists have a name for this type of social interaction — compliance game. It’s a very important component of pickup because it serves two powerful functions; one, it forces the woman into the man’s frame of reality, and two, it raises his value relative to hers. If she is not getting her way and is consenting to him getting his way, then she is in his world where he makes the rules. He now sets the pace and direction of the seduction. This is very attractive to women. When she invests in him by doing things for him, no matter how insignificant (“hold my scarf”), her acquiescence creates an emotional state that influences her perception of him as having high social value. The very act of assenting to a random person’s command establishes an authority/follower dynamic, no matter the objective differences in their actual value.

Pickup artists have, in all their systematizing and categorizing intellectual glory, devised ways to mimic the naturals’ instinctive game and get the same results from women. I have used these methods, both consciously and instinctually, and the results are nothing short of astounding. Testing for compliance is an indispensable technique.

Recent innovations in the “pickup community” give even more ammunition to the inveterate seducer. Here, I will pass along one.

Sometimes, a girl will not comply with the positive vibe you are trying to generate. Maybe you said something nerdy or you were prematurely forward or your body language wasn’t right. When this happens an awkward tension occurs. She looks at you funny or crosses her arms. Think of it as her trying to impose her reality on you. The way to turn it around is to call her out on her behavior and make it seem as if her noncompliance is strange. For example, let’s say you just asked her to give you her palm for a reading and she reacts with a weird look.

Girl: [weird look]

You: [lean back and give her a suspicious eye] Hey, what’s going on? You’re giving me a funny look and it’s really making me feel kind of awkward. You’re cool with all this, right?

Girl: No, don’t worry, everything’s cool. It was just a strange request.

You: Yeah, well, that look you gave was weirding me out. If you’re not comfortable feel free to leave anytime.

Girl: No, no, really, it’s OK. You’re cool.

Congratulations, you have just escorted the girl straight into your reality. Not only is she complying, but she has verbalized that you are cool. By calling her weird for her behavior or saying she is giving off weird vibes, (“weird” is an excellent word to use on a girl because it’s a word that girls use all the time to describe things about men that bother them), you force her to qualify herself to you. Adding that she can leave at any time assuages her that you are non-needy.

You can run with this technique until she is all smiles, telling you she likes you, and hugging you.

You: I’m glad we’re cool with each other. Come here, give me a hug. Whoa, hands up here, not down there!

Ultimately, the goal is to reframe every negative thing a girl does or says as a problem with her, not you, so that you are never on the defensive making excuses for yourself. A defensive man is a sexless man.

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