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Reader Mailbag Special Edition

Aug 29th, 2008 by

This week’s reader mailbag features guest therapy by Zeets the Throwback Barbarian and Finefantastic. Their qualifications for advising the lovesick and sex starved are supreme overconfidence and a reservoir of wisdom drawn from their disturbing personal histories. By the way, Finefantastic is a cute girl and a talented artist to boot. She freelances on the side so if you want to hire her for a job painting your cat or whatever, email me for information.

Email #1

Me: 24. Her: 30. She comes in around a 7 or 8.

Got her number a sports league social we are both in.

Date 1: drinks at a bar near her place. Goes well.
Date 2: she arrives at my place already intoxicated. We goto a lounge within walking distance of my pad. Several shittests are presented, which I am satisfactorily passing.

Then she drops a bomb I wasn’t expecting… “So what does a young guy like you want with an old ass bitch like me?” I stumbled and had some half-assed beta answer similar to “I like you and wanted to see what you are all about”.

She still spent the night, but was fairly prude.

I quizzed 2 older married male co-workers, one of who I would describe as an alpha. They came up the correct answer being “For sex. I want to fuck you.” being the correct answer.

My thoughts? That can’t be the right answer either. That is just too over the top. Of course that’s the truth, but I can’t imagine any woman continuing to sit there after being told that.

So I come here, hoping maybe even this could be reader mailbag material. What’s the right answer when dating a woman a few years older than you of “What do you want with an old ass bitch like me?”

N.

Zeets:
So we have a woman, only 30 years old, calling herself an “old ass bitch?” This by itself brings up some serious questions. But back to your predicament. When a woman asks a horrid question like that she’s obviously not entirely confident with herself. I don’t answer ridiculous questions, I use a system of touch and eye contact to reassure her and then after a while just bring up a totally different topic, like your time working in Haiti for the peace corps…….all the while you’re still steering her back to your place. And for the love of god, don’t ask for dating advice from married men. Good luck dude!

Finefantastic:
So you need some flash card responses when this inevitably comes up again?

“I don’t know. I’m getting pretty lazy and I thought you might be able to adopt me.”
“I’m in the market for some Bridge tips. My game is weak.”
“There’s this retirement living option in Florida that is really appealing at this point in my life and, what can I say? I need an IN. You play shuffleboard, right?”

Aim for the grandmother analogy as a too close comparison to her age may open a pandora’s box of suckfest. If she’s insecure about her age merely boombast her neuroses with mild humor.

Me:
Your alpha co-worker was right. Cougars preying on younger men aren’t in the mood for polite fictions. No need for romance, sly innuendo, or transparent excuses — just grab the broad, tell her to stop whining, and inform her that her tits would look great in your mouth.

Email #2

Love your blog and glad to see it is getting more and more popular.

I want to pose a question on how to go after girls that are more tom-boyish and athletic. Unfortunately my genes and attraction preferences are not well matched. I prefer very athletic girls who tend to be tall (I’m short) and always date tall, athletic guys they met through the same sports. I’m athletic but uncoordinated, so dominating on the soccer field is not an option. So far my best strategy has been trying to meet these girls by having the same hobbies (outdoorsy stuff mostly) but that doesn’t seem to work terribly well.

I think the issue I’m running into is demonstrating value since they tend to value guys based on physical presence and athletic ability and maybe alpha body language indicators (as far as I can tell). Although I had some beta habits I’ve wiped out the obvious ones and my success rate with girly girls is up but my success with girls that I actually like is unchanged.

I know you favor the girly-girls and softball conjures up images of lesbians for you, so maybe this won’t interest you but I’m curious in general how you alter your game when you know that you are not a girls ‘type’.

Thanks,

A.

Zeets:
Dude, there’s a reason tall, good looking, athletic women are not interested in you and that’s because they want to have tall, good looking, athletic kids. You don’t have those genes. So stop torturing yourself. Of note, you’re not a good athlete if you have no coordination, and here in America “soccer” is for guys that couldn’t excel at football, baseball, and basketball. My advice……women universally are most attracted to height, so if I was you I would go for athletic women of short stature, like a gymnast! Now does that sound so bad? I’m a tall guy and I would love one of those compact, little brick shit-houses myself : )

And one last point dude: the women you describe are attracted to athletes, not guys that play in goofy co-ed sports like kickball. You are not demonstrating any value by playing sports with women. I know I sound old school, but real men like myself play sports for one main reason….TO COMPETE. I want to challenge myself against other men and WIN. Sure, some camaraderie is nice, but that’s not what playing ball is about.

Finefantastic:
Type is overrated. If you suck at softball you will just be laughed at as you are shuttled to the hospital after multiple line drives to the face.  The good thing, in your case, is that most athletes are incredibly boring people. They train all day and eat clean and offer nothing in the way of conversation save for a few opinions about carb loading. Witticisms and sly retorts will fire their loins for the sole reason that it is so foreign to them, like eating Ethiopian food or genocide. A little self-deprecation and a dash of performance art and read a book or something. Next!

Me:
You don’t need to compete with a woman on her playing field in order to demonstrate value. If you date a WNBA playerette you’re only going to hurt your cause if you try to beat her at a game of HORSE. I once dated a tomboy — she was a collegiately ranked soccer player — and I had no trouble maintaining my alpha aura with her despite not once kicking a soccer ball in her presence. She used to run 5 miles every morning, and I ran… to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Dude, fact is, most tomboys are intrigued by guys who bring something novel to the table, like artistic talent or a double-headed dong. You can be totally anti-sports and as long as you give off a devil-may-care confident vibe she won’t give a shit that you aren’t an athlete like her. Do your endzone dance in the bed.

Email #3

Thought I’d give you a shout for the mailbag. It’s something that’s been getting to me and it’s hard to bring this up with other blokes.

It’s this : if I don’t know a girl very well and we start getting hot – say, within the first 5 meetings – I can’t get hard.

We were kissing, groping, doing our thing and I was trying my best to get hard but I just couldn’t.

Have never had these problems with girls I have known or dated for a long time.

It came to a head on Saturday night with a naked woman on top of me, and my excuse was “holy shit I forgot to buy condoms” which worked a treat but the fact is, I wanted to fuck this woman and fuck her good, not make excuses.

She’s been peppering me with messages the past couple of days as she obviously wants to fuck – who could blame her – but my confidence in my own dick is holding me back. Is this just me? Or does this happen to the best?

I’m 22, by the way.

M.

Zeets:
You’ve come to the right place, M, as we here have also been 22…..once. I will list my advice by number, in order of importance:

1. Its Mental. You’re 22 and presumably healthy and probably don’t know what you’re doing. Clear your head, and forget your last “at bat.” It’s history. Its very important to not go into a negative tailspin. Being with a new girl is exciting, and can be a bit nervewracking, but you have to learn to relax and not be tense. Remember what it was like with your old girlfriend, sort of automatic right? Because your mind was totally clear of any bullshit. Lose yourself in the moment.

2. Be spontaneous. Try sparking it up during the daytime, somewhere other than the bedroom at 3:00 AM when your body and mind are tired.

3. Try having a few drinks to calm the ol’ nerves. Not too much though, you dumb Irishman!

4. Hey just think of what my old buddy used to say “If my dick was bigger and I didn’t cum so fast, I’d be a pornstar!”

Finefantastic:
It seems like it’s a you vs. dick scenario, try to develop a more amicable exchange. Think of your flaccid dick as Cringer, who becomes the fearless Battle Cat when summoned by the power of Grayskull.  To borrow from Wikipedia, Cringer “becomes Battle Cat, he grows to about twice his size, and is outfitted in red armor that covers his head, and back, with a saddle mounted on it for riding. As Battle Cat, he is fearless, and powerful. His voice changes significantly, and he talks with a growl, as opposed to his whimpering voice that is heard when he is Cringer. Cringer generally dislikes becoming Battle Cat, but he goes along with it anyway”. Stop thinking so much. Maybe focus less on your dick and go down on her for a while and things may arise naturally. That’s it, I got nothing else.

Me:
I’ve never had your problem when I was sober and the girl was attractive. The closest I’ve come to experiencing performance issues, and I don’t blame myself for that because she was a 5 in addition to smelling like shit pebbles. Jesus, dude, at 22 it was all I could do not to spring wood at the slightest provocation. Were you drunk on your first night with her? Don’t underestimate the deleterious effect of alcohol on your plumbing, especially the effects of hard shit like tequila. Was she unattractive and you just can’t bring yourself to admit it? A lot of guys get so horny that they think just seeing a labia no matter what woman it’s attached to will be enough to turn them on, but the truth is that an unattractive face will totally negate an attractive vulva.

However, I will sympathize that sometimes sex can go poorly with a new girl. In general I’ve found that the sex really starts to rock around the two month mark, when you’ve both become accustomed to each other’s bodies and favorite positions and she trusts you enough to acquiesce to your deviant perverted fantasies. Right now you’re in a bad headspace, worrying about your dick before clothes are even off. You’re psyching yourself out and giving yourself the Chuck Knoblauch yips. Our dicks may have a mind of their own, but they ultimately answer to the big brain upstairs, so a strong pulse of negative thinking can shut down your boner fast. The only way to end this negative feedback loop is to get out of your head, and the way to do that is simple: NOVELTY. Take a hike with her in the woods, get lost on purpose, and then slam her against a tree, pull down her shorts, and start sucking her clit. Don’t fuck her yet. Tell her to go down on you and then admire her head bobbing forward and backward as she sucks you off. Man, if that doesn’t work you may need to fuck her with my dick. It’s not right to leave a woman unsatisfied that long.

[crypto-donation-box]

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The Worst Bars In DC For Pickup

Aug 28th, 2008 by

Black Cat

Unless you’re a member in good standing with one of the three main cliques that call this dump home, forget about it. Insular, pretentious, haughty little fucks that are the mirror image of the douchey Late Night Shots crowd act as the designated in-group gatekeepers. Watch out for androgynous betaboys knocking over drinks with their ubiquitous satchels, and heavily made up punkrock girls asking for blow or change for the cigarette machine. If you’re not a scenester or haven’t banged at least one chick from each clique, don’t expect to hook up here. The guys are limpdicked betas but they’re scattered everywhere, like fey hipster pylons blocking you off from the pussy with their feeble perimeter defenses. The girls have perfected the art of the wary sidelong glance and righteous sneer. But hey, they’re cute, so if you like getting aloof attitude from cute chicks this is your venue.

Bedrock Billiards

Dive bar, local hangout, hip lounge-y vibe. Sounds great on paper but the reality is quite different. Go there almost any night of the week and you’ll have to weave through ten guys before finding a girl. Bedrock proves the rule that it’s Ratio Uber Alles. A bad ratio can deep six an otherwise glorious bar. This is a great place to bring a date, not find a date.

Sequoia

Georgetown waterfront
12 dollar beers
gee, another blueblood cunt
I envy the queers

Tom Tom

great to be a girl here.

Lima

A pomade, eurotrash, expensive watered down drinks, eardrum bleeding club music grenade just exploded. Why are you taking shrapnel? Bonus: When the dry ice smoke nozzles go off right above your head the noise is so piercingly loud it will cockblock you.

Local 16

This is the Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde bar. Before midnight – pickup heaven. After midnight – sucks. Would you like to fuck the law in practice as well as in revolutionary spirit? This place is for you — it’s overrun with lawyer chicks. It’s also overrun with aspiring pickup artists roaming the premises like horny jackals. Lawyers. PUAs. It’s almost poetic. Safety tip: The roof deck becomes unnavigable later in the night. If there’s a fire and you’re caught in the middle of that clusterfuck, you’re dead.

Tryst

Tryst has done the impossible — a bar/coffeehouse filled to the brim with cute chicks who are totally unapproachable thanks to its maze-like seating arrangement. There is no way to look cool walking up to a girl sitting on a couch a mile away and protected on her flanks by bustling servers and antique furniture set at inconvenient angles. The feng shui here is very anti-player. Tryst’s cloyingly hip website makes me VOM a lot outside my mouth.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Self-aggrandizement, The Big City Life | Comments Off

There Is No Such Thing As A Bar Girl

Aug 27th, 2008 by

Commenter LauraByNight wrote on yesterday’s post:

This seems to suggest that a good strategy for finding quality girls is to avoid looking in bars and clubs, and maybe to avoid spending most of your time in places full of high-powered, high-strung women. I realize that this could be difficult for some men, depending on their jobs.

It also suggests that the old-fashioned idea of meeting potential mates through family and friends, or in school or at work (rather than a place where most people are hoping to find someone to fuck) would yield a higher return rate.

I hear this assertion all the time from those who believe that quality girls can’t be found in bars — “Oh, well of course if you go to a bar you’ll only find bar whores, what did you expect?”. The time has come for yer not-so-humble narrator to grind this idiotic meme into dust.

Here is a representative sample of the occupations of ten girls I met in bars:

Lawyer
Med student
PR flack
Pharmaceutical saleswoman
Smithsonian curator
Art gallery owner
Bartender (different bar)
Marketing
Teacher
Waitress/student

Here is a representative sample of the education levels of ten girls I met in bars:

Ivy league (2, including one Harvard grad)
Seven Sisters (1)
State school (3)
Grad school (3)
Never went to college (1)

Here is my informal judgement of the IQs of the last ten girls I met in bars:

150 (1, she was weird)
130-150 (1)
115-130 (2)
100-115 (5)
under 100 (1)

Here is a representative sample of the dress style of ten girls I met in bars:

Conservatively dressed (5)
Sexily dressed (4)
Sluttily dressed (1)

If it isn’t yet obvious to the “bar girls are low quality” brigade let me spell it out for you: Girls who go to bars are the same as girls you meet anywhere else. They are not an exotic subspecies of womanhood. I understand the impulse of the Loser Mafia to want to disparage girls who are confident enough to go to bars and scoop up tons of male attention, but the facts don’t bear out the comforting belief. That classy, smartly attired girl with her pink Ipod who’s picking through the organic bean sprouts at Whole Foods is the same girl who was at the bar last night hitting up chumps for free drinks.

Think about it — if you were an attractive girl why wouldn’t you go to a bar while you’ve still got it? You’d be negligent not to. A girls’s urge to feed her ego and take the measure of her sexual market value is intense, and bars are perfectly suited for maximum assuaging and feedback. Where else can she command the attention of so many men in such a short amount of time and limited space? (Tip: this is why you should never consider a bartender for a long term relationship. Any girl who chooses to go into bartending is a Ninth Order Attention Whore who needs hours upon hours of male flirtations and social stimulation just to feel human.)

But there are girls who insist they never go to bars. I believe them. These are the kinds of girls you will rarely find in a bar at night when the mating bazaar is wide open for business:

Fat chicks (usually not more than 10%)
Over 30 women
Ugly chicks

Fat and ugly chicks don’t need their fragile egos pummeled any more than they already are by exposing themselves to the hormonally heated competitive environment of a bar. If you are a fatty fucker you don’t need to go to bars; just step outside and walk the earth. If you’re a freak who likes ugly chicks, trawl Craigslist W4M. Fucking horror show.

Over 30 women are either married and off the market or unwilling to go pert breasts-to-sagging breasts with the younger competition. I don’t blame them. It’s easier to maintain an illusion of desirability if you never leave the house.

Attractive single girls who, for reasons of principle, heavy work schedule, or visceral dislike of the scene, never go to bars are a tiny subset of the total number of attractive girls. But just because they loathe bars to the point of active avoidance does not automatically impart them with a glowing halo. They just get their attention fix through other means, like, oh, to pick an example completely at random, blogs.

Attractive girls who are in happy, committed relationships are often the biggest propagators of the “bars suck” meme, because in their lovestruck haze they have forgotten just how many nights they used to go out to bars. Their opinion is of no use to any man trying to figure out where to meet women.

I once did the smart, enlightened thing and dated a “quality girl” I met at a painting class I had signed up for. While we were dating, I bumped into her at my favorite bar at 1AM, drinking with her friends.

Only suckers throw away their time and money chasing the elusive “quality girl” through events, classes, or expensive but socially approved status-whoring hobbies. Bars are free.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Dating, Girls | Comments Off

Quality Girl

Aug 26th, 2008 by

I’m often asked “What do you consider a quality girl?” This is a good question, if by quality we mean a girl I’d be willing to date long term (>3 months), to invest more than the minimal amount of my time and energy, and to feel secure, if I were so inclined, in committing myself exclusively without worry that she might spread her legs for any random guy who happens to catch her alone on an especially drunken night and says the right things about how good her forehead looks in the reflection of the beer bottle.

Very few… and I mean VERY few… women in DC have met my exacting standards of quality. I’d estimate that of all the girls I’ve dated in this city less than 10% were worthy of my full attention. I’d hazard to guess that if all men held themselves to the same high standards I do and didn’t kowtow to the first chick who deigned to bless them with a crumb of affection there’d be universal agreement among DC men that my 10% figure is accurate. Maybe in flyover country the number of quality girls hits 25%. In Poland it is 80%. The times have changed and quality girls are no longer the norm.

So what makes a quality girl? Well, I know what *doesn’t* make a quality girl.

  • She has cheated more than three times in her life, or has cheated more than once on the same boyfriend.
  • She forgets to say “thank you” when you buy her a drink. Buying her a second drink confirms her ingratitude.
  • She dates around. Dating around — specifically, seeing more than one person concurrently — is a prerogative of men only, for reasons having to do with the greater leverage men need to arm themselves with to compete in a dating market that is fundamentally tilted in favor of women. Any girl who makes a habit of dating more than one guy at a time, especially if the parallel dating lasts longer than one month, in order to milk her options is a bad seed. In all my years of banging, one soulsaving thing I’ve learned is to walk away from any girl who I’ve discovered is also dating other men. Even if I beat the competition and win her over, it never ends well.
  • She tells you she has a long distance boyfriend she loves, then proceeds to bang you anyway. A few months later, you see her groping a new guy, and she’s still with her boyfriend. (That relationship is doomed.)
  • Her default mode is sarcasm, negativity, coarseness, and shamelessness.
  • She spends twice as much time getting ready for a house party than she spends getting ready for a date with you.
  • She can’t control her impulse to flirt with other men. Double minus points if she does this in your presence.
  • She doesn’t seem nervous undressing in front of you the first time.
  • She fucks you on a pretense of less than the sum total of an hour of conversation, and calls you the next day worried that your condomless sex might have given her something. (She’s been down this road before.)
  • She is proud to be on the pill and considers her dependence on it a carte blanche slut sanctioner instead of a safety net affection fortifier.
  • She is cavalier about casual sex.

A quality girl does the opposite of all the above. She doesn’t cheat, and if she does she has a plausible rationale. But she will still feel bad about it. She is generous when it is risky to be so. She is positive and lifts people up, not pushes them down to lift herself up. She laughs at the absurdity and beauty of the world, but never at the expense of others. She is warm, and this is something that can’t be taught. She says “I love you” early and often out of conviction, not inquisition. She understands that her heart is more important than her pride.

A high quality girl is good for standing by, sticking with, supporting always, loving fully, defending righteously, and if the timing is right, embracing for life to the exclusion of all others. She is the type of girl who can enthrall you with her words alone. She can make you smile over the phone. She can be far away but feel near. She is often discovered in the unlikeliest places, and her magic is the energy that animates her pretty face, rather than the other way around.

Low quality girls are good for fucking, a few laughs, some funny digicam pics, and that’s it. Spare your hard-earned manly capital — your time, your resources, your protection, your commitment, your LOVE — for those few quality girls you might meet if you’re lucky. And speaking as a man who has seen, heard and experienced enough to turn the most naive optimist into a stone cold cynic, if you do meet a girl like that, you would be a fool to pass her up. Her kind is going extinct.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Girls, Inner Beauty | Comments Off

A Day With Zeets

Aug 25th, 2008 by

Zeets on game:

Me: [while helping him set up a new TV I belch loudly] BEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLCCCCCHHHH.
Zeets: Was that a neg? [imitating me approaching some girls] Hi, I’m… BEEEELLLLCHHH… haha hey girls that was a neg! You like me now!

Zeets on long distance cockblocking:

Me: So there’s this girl who lives in another country who loves me. She told me a guy hit on her last night and she turned him down by telling him she had an internet lover.
Zeets: Wow, that guy must’ve felt like shit. Cockblocked from afar!
Me: Yeah, it’s one thing to get cockblocked by another guy in the bar, but to get cockblocked by an internet dude… humiliation!
Zeets: A girl who rejects someone by saying “No, I’m in love with a guy on the internet” is a lot worse than “I have a boyfriend.”
Me: It’s like saying “Your physical presence can’t even compete with an IM”.

Zeets on blogging:

Zeets: Everyone’s got their little blog now. Get up at 1 in the afternoon, trundle to the store to buy organic hipster meuslix, come back and blog about it. [makes exaggerated typing motion with his hands] Blog, blog, blog. Blogging piglets!

Zeets on the consumer culture:

Zeets: Help me carry out this TV. [we were leaving Best Buy with his new 1,000 inch LCD TV purchase]
Me: This is gaudy. You’re rolling out with the biggest package in the place.
Zeets: Notice how all eyes are turned towards me. The women are aroused by my display of materialism. [looks over at a middle-aged woman and winks] A big purchase will make you feel like a man and boost your testosterone major.

Zeets on herbs:

“I WANT TO CRUSH THEM ALL.”

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Funny/Lolblogs, The Big City Life | Comments Off

Some Great Age Negs

Aug 23rd, 2008 by

If you routinely date younger women, this age neg works well to set an advantageous frame for yourself.

You: How old are you?

Her: 28.

You: Wow, I never would have guessed.

Let it drop after that. The neg is stuctured in such a way that if said with a straight face and raised eyebrows will make her wonder whether you would’ve guessed younger or older. If she persists in knowing what you meant, then ignore her and change the subject, or answer evasively.

Her: What do you mean??

You: I dunno. You just don’t… fit… your age. Btw, you ever see couples that don’t seem to fit right, but then they’re like the happiest couples in the world?

You really want to keep her confused about how she is being perceived by you. That is what builds intrigue, and intrigue is the rebar of female attraction.

Here are a couple more frame-setting age negs that work no matter what the age difference between you and the girl.

Her: How old are you?
You: You first.
Her: 25.
You: Oh oh.
Her: What?
You: I don’t normally date older women. They have too many issues in my experience.

This neg is especially effective when the girl is considerably younger than yourself. Imagine a 35 year old guy telling a 22 year old girl she’s too old for him. It quickly reverses the frame in your favor.

***

Her: How old are you?
You: Guess.
Her: 28.
You: Close. And you’re… 27.
Her: No, 23.
You: Oh no, really?
Her: Yeah, why?
You: I like to date older women. Everyone knows they’re more mature and classy.

Notice I used the term “everyone knows”. It’s a bit jarring in the context of this short conversation, but that doesn’t matter. Girls are very sensitive to groupthink, so my words will have the intended effect — to put her in the role of the one seeking approval.

[crypto-donation-box]

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Butt Pirates, Butt Pats, A Killer Line

Aug 22nd, 2008 by

If you like very feminine women (and what man doesn’t?), you’ll want to date girls who have gay relatives:

Andrea Camperio Ciani and colleagues at the University of Padua, Italy, showed that the female relatives of homosexual men tend to have more children, suggesting that genes on the X chromosome are responsible.

“It helps to answer a perplexing question – how can there be ‘gay genes’ given that gay sex doesn’t lead to procreation?” says Dean Hamer of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, who was not involved in the work. “The answer is remarkably simple: the same gene that causes men to like men also causes women to like men, and as a result to have more children.”

Camperio Ciani emphasises that, rather than being a “gay gene”, this unidentified genetic factor is likely to promote sexual attraction to men in both men and women. This would influence a woman’s attitude rather than actually increasing her fertility, making her likely to have more children.

The girl’s attitude is key here. Femininity is not just curves, it’s temperament and personality. When I meet girls now I screen them for how many gay brothers and cousins they have:

“So this girl I used to date was telling me how great it is for her to have a gay brother, which is even better than a best gay boyfriend. Do you have any gay relatives?”

I believe screening for this in girls will mean a more romantic dating life, more affection from the girl, and fewer lawyers in my stable of regulars. In fact, I would bet any chick who is a lawyer has a lot of lesbian relatives.

*****

The downside of being President when people are watching: A girl offers you her ass and you have to politely decline:

Bush knuckled off a couple of lobs, but defending gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh gave the chief executive some pointers. Then after a good play, in the tradition of female volleyballers, May-Treanor turned, bent over slightly and offered her bikinied rear-end for the 43rd president to slap.

“Mr. President,” she said, “want to?”

[…]Bush wisely chose instead to brush his hand across the small of May-Treanor’s back.

I’d have slapped, spread, and dry humped her. Of course, as President I’d set up a rendevous later in a secure location where she’d really get my approval for her good play.

I read the comments on some of the news sites to this story. Unsurprisingly to me, most of the negative comments were from women, who used it as an opportunity to bash Bush’s “perviness” and religious leanings. It’s funny how Bush is so unpopular with women, especially young women and feminists, when he did the “right thing” in this situation, and when by all accounts he’s a moral exemplar of the faithful, loyal (beta) husband. And yet a guy like Bill Clinton, who in practice shit all over feminist principles by sexually harassing interns, fucking subordinates, cheating on his wife multiple times, getting blowjobs from women considerably younger than himself, and even coming dangerously close to actual rape, is beloved by women and especially by the very same feminists whose phoniness and moral relativism Clinton showcased for the world. Beautiful. I trust the lesson has not escaped my readers.

bush to ass.

*****

Here is a great line you can tell a girl during the A2 (female to male interest) attraction phase to boost your value:

“I could introduce you to every guy in this room, but I can guarantee that none of them will be as interesting as me.”

Concepts hit: DHV, social status, push-pull. It’s been field tested and proven successful, so give it a try and let me know how it goes.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Game, Inner Beauty, Ridiculousness, Rules of Manhood | Comments Off

What I Do For Fun

Aug 21st, 2008 by

Tailgate people with “Coexist” bumper stickers on their cars.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in The Id Monster | Comments Off

Spot The Alpha

Aug 21st, 2008 by

In this pic, try to identify who is more alpha:

i’m banging a hot russian gymnast half my age. and you?

90% of alphaness is telegraphed through body language, eye contact, facial expression, nonverbal vocalization, and voice tonality. The actual words you say mean very little. For instance, if you laugh at your own jokes you are probably beta. Here we see two wary foes — both of them silverback apex alphas — testing boundaries and trying to establish ultimate dominance. Putin has pulled the “hand over hand” handshake alpha maneuver with a subtle condescending pat to the top of Bush’s hand like a grandmother might give to a precocious child, while Bush has opted for the arm-across-back shoulder clasping “claw” maneuver (something a taller man is well-equipped to do).

This photo is really a great showcase of what happens when two genuine alpha males lock horns and battle for supremacy. The interplay is subtle, but it’s there, make no mistake. At the highest levels, alphas don’t ball up their hands into fists and throw punches, they sublimate the cruder forms of chest thumping into the refined art of civilized court intrigue.

Their faces also tell a story. Bush is stifling an open-mouthed smirk, but his eyes betray unease. He looks like he’s forcing his will upon Putin with his slight lean-in. Putin’s half-lidded eyes and barely downturned mouth hint of haughtiness. Deep in his Commie bones he feels like the superior man to Bush, and this past week in Georgia he demonstrated it when he shoved that air of superiority into Bush’s face by proxy. Also, I notice Putin is standing straight, avoiding the lean-in, and keeping his torso turned less toward Bush and more toward the audience. In contrast, Bush’s body angle defers to Putin.

Whether either of these men’s confidence is warranted is irrelevant. Their strutting for the cameras is what matters.

ALPHA: Putin, by a red whisker. Bush’s “claw” is the most dominant singular gesture in this photo, but the sum total of alpha gestures favors Putin.

(*Note: When Bush said he “looked into [Putin’s] eyes and saw his soul”, many commentators at the time obliquely hinted that this was a beta move, but in fact it was alpha. A strong man can afford to say seemingly silly things like that because it potentially buttresses a larger strategic goal; namely, that of giving your enemy false comfort. Unfortunately, in Bush’s case, alpha doesn’t always equate to smart.)

***

In the previous photo, we examined alpha posturing between two unfriendlies. Now let’s look at a photo of two men who are on friendly terms:

our women are hotter than your women.

You think dominance games cease between friends? Think again. Friendship is no immunity from alpha posturing.

The man on the left is a US representative who has just signed a draft missile shield deal with his Polish counterpart on the right. In their respective countries, I believe the Polish man would be higher up his government food chain than the US rep would be in ours, but because the US is a much more powerful country the playing field during this signing ceremony was effectively leveled. A lower ranking rep from a stronger country trumps a higher ranking rep from a weaker country, even on the weaker country’s turf, and especially when the stronger country is presenting an offer of protection.

To the analysis. Judging by the distance traversed, the Pole has extended his arm first to meet the American for a fully engaged handshake (this was a firm one based on the robust contact between their hands’ thumb and forefinger webbing). The Pole’s hand is in the American’s personal space, who keeps his elbow relaxed and close to his side. Usually, jumping the handshake gun and reaching into your recipient’s personal space signals an effort to establish dominance, and is the mark of the lesser alpha trying to gain street cred. But at the highest levels of social interaction the true alpha can afford to ease off and let the other male put in the work to meet his hand. That is what the American has done here. He knows he is the stronger presence — the “fulcrum” — and thus his alpha gravitational pull brings handshakes toward him.

Take heed: Depending on context and the betaness of your target, the handshake reach-in can be either a move for dominance or a signal of deference.

The Pole’s face is more expressive than the American’s. His smile is broader and his head leans forward slightly. Remember that the alpha male more often than not composes himself with indifference; his face is one of inscrutable impassivity, punctuated infrequently by minimalist gestures like raised eyebrows, chuckles, or cocky smirks. The “happier” of the two men is the one who is lower ranking. The Pole’s facial brightness reveals that he is more impressed with the proceedings. The American possesses the ennui of “been there done that”.

Finally, look at the positions of their opposite hands. It’s subtle, but the American holds his left hand down by his side, while the Pole keeps his in a “shielding” position in front of his crotch. Shielding body language, like arm-crossing and holding drinks chest-high, are self-protection maneuvers employed by betas. It’s the voice of the subconscious given sound through the physicality of the body.

Paradoxically, the body language of an alpha male in the company of lesser men is one of vulnerability. A true alpha has no fear of his environment and has complete control of events around him, and thus announces his elevated status by assuming nonverbal gestures and stances that could potentially make him more vulnerable to usurpers. This is why the seduction community focuses so strongly on what you do with your body before you even open your mouth. Pickup 101 is especially effective at teaching alpha body language skills. For example, when you stand, open your legs to shoulder width and prop your body weight onto one foot while pointing your other foot at a 60 degree angle outwards. This is a horrible position to stand in if someone decides to bum rush you, because you have handicapped your weight distribution, but it is the position to be in if you want other males and girls to know you are utterly unconcerned with incipient threats.

A man who can wave off worry with a look of relaxed aloofness and total situational command is very attractive to women, and confusing to would-be challengers. Defensive, bristly posturing is the mark of the greater beta attempting to punch above his weight. Always act as if you’re already seated on the throne, not as if you’re trying to dethrone someone who got there before you.

ALPHA: The American. (Note, too, how an alpha designation for a man hinges very little on his appearance. The Pole is taller and handsomer, but his body language tells the story.)

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Posted in Alpha, Beta, Globalization, Self-aggrandizement, Status Is King | Comments Off

Celebrating The Olympic Spirit

Aug 20th, 2008 by

Exhibit A:

BEIJING – AUGUST 19: Leryn Franco of Paraguay competes in the Women’s Javelin Qualifying Round held at the National Stadium on Day 11 of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games on August 19, 2008 in Beijing, China. (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Olympic camel toe.

(Hat tip, VK. Naturally.)

I love how so many female Olympic athletes are photographed holding long, phallic objects.

Exhibit B:

Hybrid vigor in action — Olympians hooking up in droves.

“You see more and more couples, there is a lot of hooking up. And it is the mix of races that many people are looking for,” a Mexican volleyball player, already out of the competition, told Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa. “And with the Russian, Czech and Slovak specimens you see, the material is unbeatable.“

I agree with his assessment. It seems the men of the world are coming around to the poon viewpoint — Slavic chicks are the gold standard.

“You have 16,000 athletes in the Village, and it is very likely that some boys will like some girls and that, in turn, will lead to sex,” said Dutch baseballer Jeroen Sluitjer, 33. “And if there are free condoms going around, people will feel like using them.”

[…]there are 30,000 more [in Beijing] than the 70,000 that ran out in the Australian city, leading Village authorities to order an extra 20,000.

16,000 athletes. 100,000 condoms, with 20,000 more on the way. Assuming all 120,000 condoms are used, that’s 15 bangs per athlete (given an equal number of male and female athletes pairing off to have sex, each condom represents two individual bangs), or about one bang per athlete every day for the duration of the Olympics.

Of course, a dude like Michael Phelps is going to get a lot more action than a benchwarmer on the Latvian badminton team, and human nature being what it is, the men will average more bangs with a smaller pool of horny women than the other way around. Usain Bolt might go through a whole box before crossing the finish line. (I wonder if he suffers from premature ejaculation?)

According to British rower Matthew Pinsent, the atmosphere in the Village is “intoxicating,” with “thousands of sportsmen at the peak of their strength.”

The Chinese might have to rename the Yellow Sea to the Milky White Sea.

“People are going out more and more. The judokas, who are already done, the swimmers,” the Mexican volleyballer said. “And there is one place that no one wants to miss, the Dutch House. That is definitely wild.”

Dutch women — sperm receptacles of the world.

One thing I’ve noticed about the female athletes is how most of them have narrow hips, small tits, wide waists, and broad shoulders. This is the classic tomboy build. Here is a good example (minus the overdeveloped delts):

little boy body with hot girl face.

Although she has inviting BJ lips, her waist-to-hip ratio is less hourglass and more cylindrical. She does not have a feminine body, but at least she’s slender. You can be sure a quarter will bounce sky-high off her ass. I see she has the perfect divot above her bellybutton to collect my man seed.

The tomboy is a product of nature; she was born with her androgenized body. The elite female athlete is a product of nature and nurture; her masculine build has been accentuated by rigorous training and, in many cases, by synthetic hormones designed to duplicate the attitude and physique of a man.

Androgenized girls naturally gravitate to athletics because of their higher testosterone and their mannish figures. This is why female athletics as a spectator sport are a joke. Women only reach the elite level by being born with masculine traits and training to look more like men. It’s like watching a competition of substandard men. The only thing that keeps the average sports fan tuned in is the occasional glimpse of the rare feminine hottie (see: Exhibit A).

The more womanly a woman, the less likely she will be a world class athlete that feminists and the mainstream media can hold up as a role model for young girls. This is the definition of ass backwards.  It is the womanly women who should be role models for young girls.

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Posted in Current Events, Foreign Girls, Globalization | Comments Off

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