This post is also available in: Deutsch
What do you do if you’re being used… and you know it?
An awkward scenario in which to find yourself embroiled is to be dating a girl you like, who also likes you and has made that known, but who is deep into a multi-year relationship with another guy that she has told you about, and which is currently on shaky ground for reasons she’s given that you’re not sure you believe entirely except for the hard evidence of her sleeping with you.
As guys, we should always strive for two in the kitty. It’s best to keep the embers burning with at least two women so you can swing straight into new pussy when one goes stale. A grinding dry spell will put you in a horrible state of mind for meeting women. Girls can sniff a lonely, unattended penis from 12 parsecs, and it’s not attractive to them. Where men get turned off by another man’s seed contaminating the vagina he would like to fuck, women get turned ON when another woman’s pussy juice, especially a hotter woman, is greasing the pole of the man she likes.
(Of course, women will say otherwise. Don’t bother paying attention. They are kidding themselves.)
The reverse scenario, the one I mentioned above, doesn’t happen for the same reason. Women aren’t afraid of a lengthy bout of celibacy like men are if their relationship should end. They don’t swing from dick branch to dick branch because they can’t go two days without sex. When women allow a second man into their lives for longer than a one-off fuck it’s usually for one of two reasons:
- To test the mettle of their primary relationship.
- To seek an excuse to leave their primary relationship.
If you are the “other guy” banging a girl who already has a serious boyfriend, it’s important that you try to determine as best you can which reason applies to her. Knowing where you stand won’t make much difference in how you should act, but it will help you decide whether to exit or dig in your heels. As VK said, the dick sandwich is no fun place to be, but at least knowing about it frees you to remove all investment and relentlessly hit on new girls.
If it’s reason #1, then you are dealing with a girl who still loves her boyfriend, but has doubts. She has either been hurt by him or he spends a lot of time away from her on travel. Her faith in a future with him is not as certain as it once was. She sees you as a litmus test — “Can I survive this charming new guy’s interest in me and still feel love for my fading boyfriend?”
Unless you don’t care about the girl as anything more than a short fling, you don’t want to be put in the position of a litmus test. She is using you. You are a tool. If you know this, then you won’t be surprised when she suddenly stops speaking to you. And you won’t feel guilty about not spending one red cent on her for any dates. Prepare to walk away from her at a moment’s notice.
If it’s reason #2, then she sees you as a real alternative to her main boyfriend whom she no longer loves. If you like her and want more than a sexual tryst, then you have a shot to usurp the boyfriend. Run your game like you would if she were completely single. The worst thing you could do is try to push a conclusion; that will send her flying back into the boyfriend’s arms. Play it cool. If she likes you more than him, she’ll eventually dump him and find her way to you.
There is no guaranteed way to determine which reason is valid. It’s an inexact science of subtle body language and subcommunication. Girls lie as a matter of habit. You could take a high risk gamble and ask her point blank if she loves her boyfriend. If she hesitates or answers “That’s a weird question” then she doesn’t love him. Proceed apace. If she says yes and looks wistfully into the distance, then she probably still loves him. Get your dick wet a couple times with her and take pics for future masturbatory delight.
The big downside to dating a taken girl is the threat of an irate boyfriend coming after you. A girl who wants to push her boyfriend to the edge in order to gauge his commitment to her, or wants to rub salt in his wounds before leaving him, will — *oops!* — casually mention your existence to him. You’d be amazed how many smart, supposedly normal girls, are prone to this sort of “let’s you and him fight” primitive mentality.