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I was listening to a morning talk show and the subject was about local area bars cheating customers by using false pint glasses with thicker bottoms that only hold 14 ounces of beer, and leaving too much head on top. Since this is a major breach of bar patron trust many irate callers offered opinions on what to do, which basically boiled down to stiffing the bartenders on tips, informing the manager of your displeasure, or choosing a new bar. Stiffing a bartender is not usually a good idea since it’s the bar manager who sets policy, and most bartenders are on your side.
When you catch a girl you are dating in a lie that matters you are presented with a few alternative ways to respond. Although it’s fun to think of a girl as “tapping a keg”, she isn’t a bar and doesn’t have a manager you could complain to, so that option is not available. You don’t want to call her out on her lie because that will accomplish nothing; if she’s comfortable lying in the first place calling her out isn’t going to reform her character. You’re not the first man she lied to, and you won’t be the last.
In my experience, you have two acceptable courses of action:
- Ignore the lie, but know who you’re dealing with.
Knowledge is the key to managing a woman. If you catch her in a serious lie you will feel like she isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve and you will want to dump all over her, but before you do remember that you’ve gained some very crucial leverage over her — you know her character. Now you can handle her appropriately. Have some fun, enjoy her company (read: sex), but move her to your second or third tier of women. You owe her nothing. Maintaining a code of silence on your discovery of her lie is a form of power that will allow you to hold her at arm’s length and remove all her tools of manipulation.
Identifying a bad seed is important so you don’t waste too much time and energy trying to find her nonexistent inner beauty.
- Leave her.
Character is destiny. A woman who lies about serious shit will not make a good long term girlfriend, wife or mother for anyone, so if you are a man looking for that you may want to streamline your dating efficiency and drop her like you would drop a bar serving pints in 14 ounce glasses. But don’t tell her exactly why you are leaving. As I wrote above:
Maxim #13: Calling a girl out on her lie accomplishes nothing.
Instead, cut through the ego bullshit and tell her the *deeper* truth — she is free to do whatever she wants with her life but you expect loyalty from the women you date. Say no more. Just stop calling.
Do men or women lie more? I finally have the answer to that player’s pickup question.
Men occasionally lie about the big things. Women lie about everything all the time. Like gossip, it’s just another tactic for them to manufacture the drama they so desperately crave in their lives. Your goal should be to find that quality woman who lies about the big stuff less than the average woman.
I don’t advocate lying to get into a girl’s pants, not for ethical reasons but because it isn’t necessary. Good game will get you there without the lies, and you’re less likely to get busted in the future. I do lie by omission sometimes, like not telling a girl my oversized member might hurt her, or that I’m dating around, unless she asks. I might even lie if she asks, because if I’ve just started dating another girl on the side I don’t consider that “dating another girl”. In my moral calculus, “dating” means more than five dates and you’ve banged her more than once. Anything less is “sampling”. This system has worked for me so far.
If you cross paths with a weak woman given to lying, don’t try to save her from herself. And don’t use her natural weakness as an excuse to get in the mud with her. Instead, look out for number one and do what’s in your best interest. Adopt a 1 to 10 sliding moral scale and place the women you date along that scale based on how you judge their characters.
All else equal, the closer she gets to 10 the more you will want to invest in her. She is worth it.
The closer she is to 1, the less you will want to invest in her. She is a succubus and will own your soul if you let her. Devalue her and let the good times roll. Your sperm will likely be mixing with another man’s sperm in her vagina.