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Category Archive for 'Tool Time'

Enjoying a Sunday morning cup of coffee and reading the hilarious insults from YouTube commenters has become a treasured personal growth and productivity time sink for me. The key to savoring truly inspired mockeries is to choose a popular video featuring an easy target. This combination brings out the best in people. This video by […]

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A Critical Moment

Everything was going right. My game was tight. She was responding with an everlasting feedback loop of positivity. All smiles, all electrified touching on the legs, chest, arms. Unforced laughter. Whispers in ears as cheeks grazed. A culmination in same night sex was within the realm of possibility. I could practically taste it. Then she […]

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A Business Idea

I have to hand it to the women who started this website where jilted girlfriends send in photos and rap sheets of their alpha male badboy ex-boyfriends as a warning to other women. It’s a pretty good concept, though judging by the limited database of cads the site has amassed and the immense number of […]

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If you sit at a sidewalk cafe in DC and people watch you’ll eventually see hints of civilizational decline. mommy took our allowance There I was enjoying a manly tap water when something so magnificently wrong assaulted my visual field. A father carrying a baby in a papoose that he wore across his front. The […]

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Forget flying cars and interstellar travel, the next big thing to radically transform society will be sexbots. Japanese girlfriend substitutes , lifelike dolls , porn saturation … all signs are pointing toward a technological coalescence of immense implications for relations between the sexes. It’s a horny new world on the horizon of men having sex […]

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Undercover Niceguy

In this Esquire article (with a very disturbing photo at the top), the author recounts his experience trying to set up his drop-dead gorgeous babysitter on a date. For some inexplicable reason, she can’t seem to find a man on her own, so her host dad decides to help her out by impersonating her on […]

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in eight fab steps. Identify your target demographic. 2. Dress the part. 3. Frequent your designated list of certified hip venues. Do not commit social hara-kari by showing up to the same place twice in one week. 4. Take pics of yourself having fun in certified hip venues. Hold camera steady at arm’s length or […]

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F You Jewelry

When we were teenagers I remember my brother coming home from dental surgery with a plastic container holding his four extracted wisdom teeth, blood and bits of flesh still clinging to the roots. I thought it was so cool. So did he, if his proud grin was any indication. I’m having a wisdom tooth pulled […]

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I was never one to keep a diary. Nor did I ever keep a diary but call it a journal. Yet a casual glance shows that 99% of blogs are basically diaries of the minutiae of people’s lives and their overheated ruminations about said minutiae. Since I mostly write about abstract stuff I kind of […]

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After a lifetime of enjoying the spacious accommodations of the handicapped stall, an actual handicapped man entered the restroom while I was in there using it. His walker clicked on the tiled floor as he approached huffing and grunting the whole way. He stopped in front of my stall, the feet of his walker in […]

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