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Do U.S. Diplomats Read This Blog?

Nov 29th, 2010 by

Or do they coincidentally agree with the worldview espoused here at the Chateau?

Over two years ago, a post at this blog was written which compared the alphaness of George Bush and Vlad Putin. The coveted Alpha Male Smirk trophy went to Putin.

Now news comes from the infamous WikiLeaks documents that U.S. diplomats have tagged Putin with the alpha male designation.

US diplomats refer to Russian PresidentDmitry Medvedev as a hesitant leader and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin as an “alpha male,” Kommersant reported on Monday citing documents released by WikiLeaks. […]

“The Americans call the Russian President Dmitry Medvedev pale and hesitant, and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin an alpha male,” the newspaper wrote.

Do we here at the Chateau have our fingers on the pulse of high stakes diplomacy, or does the elite have its fingers on the pulse of the Chateau? Either way, it’s good to see the ruling class belie their paeans to nuance in favor of embracing the dispiriting truths of reductionism behind closed doors.

So what does Putin think of all this hubbub?

Putin’s spokesman meanwhile told the daily that it was premature to take the reported character portraits too seriously.

“We have to wait and see what level of diplomats made these comments, and in what documents they appear,” spokesman Dmitry Peskov told the daily.

He likes it.

The alpha male/beta male dichotomy is triumphant across the world, from low stations to high, for good or ill. The lamentations of the equivocating hairsplitters and the rearguard “greater purpose” spiritualists are music to the ears.

If this blog were an apple it would be a granny smith — tart but refreshing.

Posted in Alpha, Globalization, Vanity | 78 Comments »

My Motto

Nov 26th, 2010 by

To squeeze the last ounce of fun out of life before I drop dead.

Can your motto make more sense?

Posted in The Pleasure Principle | 228 Comments »

Reenactment Of A Dentist Visit Pickup

Nov 24th, 2010 by

This is a pickup attempt in a dentist’s office, as we were both waiting to have our teeth cleaned. The lawyer chick returns! (Lawyer chicks are very diligent about keeping regular dental appointments.)

Listen for the rather unsubtle neg.

Posted in Funny/Lolblogs, Game, Videos | 80 Comments »

The Alpha Male Head Tilt, & Asstd.

Nov 23rd, 2010 by

“Hold your head high” and “chin up” aren’t just esteem-boosting slogans; they’re nonverbal indicators of the alphaness that women lurv:

Our research investigated if looking at the face from different perspectives as a result of the height differential between men and women influenced perceived masculinity or femininity. The research found the way we angle our faces affects our attractiveness to the opposite sex.”

Men, typically taller than women, view a woman’s face from above; and women view men’s faces from below. Through a series of simulations, the research tested whether the angle of view was an important determinant of masculinity/femininity and attractiveness.

The research found that female faces are judged to be more feminine and more attractive when tilted forwards (simulating viewing from above), and less feminine when tilted backwards (simulating viewing from below). Conversely, male faces are judged more masculine when tilted backwards and less masculine when tilted forwards.

Ya gotta love these traditionalist “real man” throwbacks leaving their drive-by comments at the Chateau castigating the players for their “black and white” view of the “false dichotomy” of alpha males and beta males, while a steady drumbeat of scientific studies flies in the face of their indignant assertions. Here is yet another one of those studies providing support for the view expounded at this blog that there really are objectively identifiable traits — physical, emotional and behavioral — that distinguish alphas from betas. And that you… yes, you the reader… can learn those alpha traits, apply them, and become alpha yourself.

Starting now, you need to hold your head up so that your chin is slightly elevated from parallel with the ground. This is especially critical for short men, who can mimic the alpha gravitas that naturally accompanies taller men by tilting their heads a bit upward. If you find your chin unconsciously returning to its basal beta level pointing at the ground, you can use mental tricks to realign your head tilt to the dominance position. Imagine you are a haughty snob looking down on all the insufferable SWPLs (or proles, season to taste) who live and work around you. Soon, your mind will associate the identification “haughty snob” and “insufferable SWPL” with the backward head tilt, your head will accordingly readjust, and pussy will flow to you like the Orinoco.

******

Evidence for group selection?

How well a person performs in a coalition is partly hereditary, according to a recent study.

Researchers found that how successfully an individual operates in a group is as much down to having the right genetic make-up as it is to having common cultural ties with fellow group members.

After assessing nearly 1000 pairs of adult twins, researchers at the University of Edinburgh found that strong genetic influences have a major influence on how loyal a person feels to their social group.

It also has a significant impact on how flexibly they can adapt group membership.

Can a cooperation gene that recognizes in-groups and out-groups evolve without some sort of group selection mechanism at work? Group selection is fascinating to a lot of thinkers because of its implications for the evolution of hard-wired racism in all human populations.

Religion may mitigate inborn xenophobia:

Family ties were less influential. Instead factors outside the family such as ethnicity and religion seem to account for the environmental influences that determine how successfully a group will operate.

To assess the influence of genetics, scientists asked the twins a series of questions about how important it was for them that people with whom they are affiliated share their religion, ethnicity or race.

They found that identical twins – who share all their genes – gave very similar responses, whereas non-identical twins were much more likely to differ in their answers.

Interestingly, they found that being part of a strong religious group made subjects less likely to emphasise ethnic and racial influence when deciding with which coalitions they become involved, regardless of genetics.

The insular, secular elites for whom religion is not needed to pursue successful life strategies need to come to grips with the fact that religion serves as a moral anchor for the lower classes, without which their tendency to flounder, regress and parasitize the provider classes would mushroom. Richard Dawkins wept.

******

Yet more evidence confirming the Chateau maxim that women are the biggest misogynists.

Employer callbacks to attractive men are significantly higher than to men with no picture and to plain-looking men, nearly doubling the latter group. Strikingly, attractive women do not enjoy the same beauty premium. In fact, women with no picture have a significantly higher rate of callbacks than attractive or plain-looking women. We explore a number of explanations and provide evidence that female jealousy of attractive women in the workplace is a primary reason for the punishment of attractive women.

Me-OW! Jizzabomb denizens wept.

But other research shows that hot babes receive higher raises than plain janes or fuglies.

Previous research, however, has found that good-looking female workers receive higher raises than their plain or ugly counterparts.

Easily explainable. HR women are the ones filtering potential hirees. Men in positions of power are the ones offering raises.

******

Women live longer than men because men are biologically expendable.

On average, women live five or six years longer than men. There are six 85-year-old women to four men of the same age, and by the age of 100 the ratio is greater than two to one. Many hypotheses have been proposed to explain the greater longevity, but there is growing evidence for the disposable soma theory, which says males are genetically more disposable than females.

Maxim #200: Chicks dig guys willing to risk an early, gruesome death. Expendability is a DHV.

******

Straight men are becoming A-Ok with smooching their male buds. Chateau hosts called this. The feminization of the Western “man” continues apace. Is it the fuckin soy?

Researchers at the University of Bath have found that heterosexual male students are more comfortable kissing their friends than ever before.

Their research shows that university students now see nothing wrong with showing friendship to another man through a kiss on the lips.

Dr Eric Anderson, from the University’s Department of Education, found that 89 per cent of white undergraduate men at two UK universities and one sixth form college, said they were happy to kiss another man on the lips through friendship.

He found that 36 per cent of these men have also engaged in sustained kissing, initially for shock value, but now they occur just for “a laugh”.

Dr Anderson said: “Heterosexual men kissing each other in friendship is an offshoot of what happens when homophobia is reduced. At these universities, overt homophobia has reduced to near extinction, permitting those men to engage in behaviour that was once taboo.

“Men are kissing each other in university clubs and pubs, in front of their peers, and for many it serves as an occasional, exuberant greeting or banter when partying. The kiss is a sign of affection in student social spaces, a sign of victory on the pitch, or celebration at a nightclub but it does not have a sexual connotation in any of these spaces.

If it isn’t the soy, maybe it’s the fact that British women have turned into a waddling mass of warpigs.

“We noticed that more and more men were kissing each other in clubs or after scoring a goal as a form of celebration, and many would put pictures of themselves kissing their friends on Facebook. We then began our research and realised that the way men tell each other that one has made it into their circle of close friends is to kiss. In this respect men are catching up with women who regularly use a kiss as a sign of affection to a female friend.”

Too funny. I guess fist bumps aren’t cutting it anymore. Theory: As more Western women become cad-chasing, self-entitled solipsistic sluts, the men will respond by finding their affection fix in the arms of other, similarly situated, men. Or there’s something in the water.

Adi, who is heterosexual, added: “My first experience of kissing a man was at uni and I was bit taken aback, but now it feels like a normal act of friendship. It doesn’t feel that it threatens my masculinity or heterosexuality – instead it is becoming part of acceptable masculinity and heterosexuality.”

If you mention your masculinity enough times, Adi, maybe you’ll believe it. By the way, this is how the slippery slope to park bench masturbating and sheep sex starts.

******

Kissing other men isn’t the only alternative outlet available to underloved betas. There is always the green card whore option:

An upsurge in marriages between older Swedish men and young, underprivileged foreign women raises serious questions about gender equality, according to a new report.

In a new ‘migration by marriage’ study, experts at the University of St Andrews found that over a fifteen year period there has been a 44% increase in young women moving to Sweden from mainly poorer nations to marry.

The study also found that the poorer the country of birth of the migrant woman, the bigger the age gap between her and her Swedish partner – a finding that experts say raises serious concerns over such women’s freedom of choice.

Green card whores these foreign women may be, but I don’t fault Western men for pursuing this avenue to sexual and emotional fulfillment. No surprise this is happening in Sweden, land of the institutionalized überfeminist and castrated pissbucket boy. When your native women are egomaniac wide-load femcunts unworthy of your time or investment beyond a three month fling, the overseas alternative begins to look very appealing. Sure, it’s straight up barter, but betas getting the shaft end of the stick in the modern dating market might be inclined to overlook the crass exchange of sex for citizenship and dispense with their idealistic romanticism for the chance to steadily bang much younger, and typically more submissive, pussy. Who could blame them? Anything less would be… uncivilized.

And to the shibboleth spewing clackademic tards wringing their hands about “female freedom of choice”: No one’s slapping chains on these poor foreign babes and dragging them into relationships with relatively wealthy Western men. Just as no one’s forcing men at gunpoint to compete for the attention of young, slender chicks. Until these inane feminists come to terms with the fact that men and women have different reproductive goals and sexual desires, we will continue hearing them say the stupidest shit in so-called respectable academic journals.

******

Newsflash! It’s better to be born a winner than a loser. Tony Robbins wept.

Attractive people have it all. As babies they get less chastisement, more cuddles, and better presents.

At school they are more popular, have more friends and are less likely to be bullied. And as adults, they have more sexual partners, and are more likely to be married, have a good job, and earn a higher salary – around 10 per cent more than plain Joes and Janes. They are also perceived to be healthier, smarter, and more trustworthy, and if they go into politics they are more likely to be elected. But why are some people seen as attractive and others not? And why have we evolved to find some features attractive and others not?

According to new research, it may all be down to oxidative stress and antioxidants. Psychologists have discovered that men who were rated as the most physically attractive by women have the lowest levels of markers of oxidative stress. […]

Ten bilateral features of the men – ear width, ear height, wrist width, elbow width, lengths of four fingers, ankle breadth and foot breadth – were measured and compared. The men’s urine was measured for markers of oxidative stress and for hormones, and they were quizzed about any birth complications, such as late or premature birth, which can increase levels of oxidative stress. Finally, a group of women were asked to rate images of the men’s bodies and faces for physical attractiveness.

Results show that men who were rated as attractive by the women had significantly lower levels of oxidative stress. And men with more symmetrical bodies had lower levels and were rated as more attractive. Men who had experienced birth problems had higher levels of oxidative-stress markers. […]

Lesson: Ladykillers don’t sweat the small stuff.

Some studies have shown that men are especially attracted to women with a low hip ratio – small waists and large hips. Just why remains elusive, although suggestions have included better child-bearing abilities, improved health, and greater survival. One University of California study showed that women with larger hips perform better in intelligence tests, as do their children.

Body mass index, a measure of both height and weight, is another dimension that has attracted the attention of researchers. A ratio of 20.85 has been found to be most attractive in women, because, say researchers, it is seen by men as sign of good health and good reproductive potential.

The fat cows who lumber in here to moo that female BMIs of 25 are attractive (they use the euphemism “curvy”) are full of shit. Science once again confirms the validity of the Dating Market Test for Women that has been at the top of this blog for three years. Oh, and you gym rats stuff it. BMI is a reasonable measure of attractive body composition for women because most women are not muscle-bound meatheads.

In the same article, why do men prefer blondes? Answer: Handicap principle.

[A]ccording to research out of the University of California, the answer is that blonde hair, like the peacock’s tail or the rooster’s bright-red plumage, is a sign of fitness. The evolutionary reason why men are attracted to blondes is that the hair and skin colour make it easier to spot problems. Anaemia, jaundice, skin infections, cyanosis (a sign of heart disease) and some other conditions, are, these researchers say, much easier to detect in fair-skinned individuals than in brunettes.

So, in ancestral times when bugs and infections were thick on the ground, there was an evolutionary need to be able to pick a mate who would be healthy and have healthy offspring – hence the preference for blondes.

Prediction: this post was very painful to read for we-are-the-world equalists.

Posted in Alpha, Biomechanics is God | 170 Comments »

Attracting Women By Exploiting Their Insecurities

Nov 22nd, 2010 by

Truly the darkest and most powerful of the crimson arts is the seduction of women through the identifying and exploiting of their weaknesses and insecurities. To bed a woman is a wonderful pleasure, but to get inside her head and manipulate her to willingly offer the key to her heart — well, that is sublime gratification. Only experts in the mechanics of the human psyche can pull off Exploitation Game with any credibility.

First, it is important to note that weakness and insecurity are distinct categories of ego suppression. A weakness is an objective flaw in a woman who may or may not be self-consciously aware of it. An insecurity is a gnawing discomfort with some facet of her life that she feels is amiss, whether or not her self-doubt has any factual justification. Weaknesses and insecurities provide fertile emotional chaos upon which the master seducer may fruitfully sow a path to redemption… through his groin, of course.

Imagine, for instance, you have met a girl at a house party who you happen to know is dating a man who already has a girlfriend. Her life is in disarray, and all she can think about is how to win him away from his primary lover. This girl has a genuine insecurity about her standing with him, and she doubts her ability to monopolize the love of a high value man. You identify her insecurity, and then you exploit it by talking in general terms about how it’s nice to have someone completely devoted to you and makes you feel comfortable and loved.

“Sometimes, at the end of the day, you just want someone there who accepts you totally, and won’t make you play games or feel like an afterthought.”

Naturally, you do not directly confront the girl with her insecurities, (unless it is your intention to cause pain). That would only ensure a defensive turtling in reaction, or, worse, a lashing out like a stuck pig. Deliberative exploitation is effectively accomplished through the use of third party puppets. The girl in the example above would not be the subject, but she would subconsciously put herself in the place of the subject in your conversation.

Here is another example: suppose you meet a single mom who still has her looks. You don’t intend to marry her, but you do want to enjoy a fling. She has a real weakness; bastards are bad for business in the dating arena. Her lack of awareness or acknowledgement of her weakness is irrelevant; a weakness extracts its tribute from even the most armored egos, for the reality of its existence cannot be concocted away in the primal centers of the brain where the rationalization hamster dares not tread. If you can insinuate her weakness into your conversation — assuming the truth of its negative influence while offering an escape from its consequences — you simultaneously crush and release her ego to pursue that which will provide momentary relief from her rattled reality. Again, the use of third parties is critical.

“There are too may demands placed on some of us. People expect you to follow the script, expect you to conform to whatever normal is supposed to be, but what do they know? I was never one to judge. I see what others don’t and admire it. Nothing beats meeting that one person who will take you into a separate world, away from the day to day crap that drags you down.”

Exploitation Game can be used during the attraction or comfort stage of seduction, but is preferable in the latter, particularly if it is the patina of sincerity you are striving for. Some may consider this cruel art a breach of the last ethical frontier of pickup, but the joy on her face and the quickening in her loins belie such phony sanctimony.

Posted in Game, Psy Ops | 214 Comments »

Time To Fart As A Measure Of Relationship Strength

Nov 19th, 2010 by

I’ve devised a formula for determining the strength of a relationship and its long term potential based on the time it takes for me to feel comfortable farting in a girlfriend’s presence.

TTF (Time To Fart) + SOE (Sense Of Embarrassment) / LOF (Loudness Of Fart) + NOF (Number Of Farts per episode) + FDS (Farts During Sex) = RS (Relationship Strength)

The variables in the formula are converted into numerical values.

TTF is the number of months that have passed without a farting incident in her company. 1 = one month, 2 = 2 months, etc. A particularly brazen man would have a TTF of 0.033, indicating he farted in front of her on the first date.

SOE is based on the embarrassment I feel for farting around her. An SOE of 0 is… zero shame! An SOE of 10 is crippling embarrassment, and a burning guilt for violating my precious lady’s modesty so vulgarly.

LOF is based on decibels. An LOF of 10 (admittedly a somewhat subjective measure) is an ear-splitting fart that scares the cat. An LOF of 0 is an SBD.

NOF is the number of farts I feel comfortable releasing immediately after the first one has escaped. An NOF of 3 farts within a short time window indicates comfort with the act of farting in my girl’s presence. A high NOF of 20 suggests a sadistic pleasure with watching my girlfriend’s eyes tear up.

FDS is a simple binary value for noting whether I am comfortable farting during sex, which is an inopportune (or not, you scoundrel!) time to fart that is particularly loathed by women. An FDS of 0 means I clench tightly when I feel a fart coming on, while an FDS of 1 means I help push it out when a fart is about to announce itself during tender missionary lovemaking. (It is especially funny when she can feel the vibrations of my fart against her pudendum.)

I didn’t include smell in the equation, because that’s an uncontrollable factor.

Once calculated, a high RS number means I hold in my farts when I’m with my girl to the point where I risk intestinal embolisms. I would not dare risk annoying her with an errant tush toot. Our relationship is likely a strong one that will last well into the second year.

A low RS number indicates trouble, as well as warm gas, brewing. I fart freely around the girl without remorse because I take her completely for granted. She loves the shit out of me and I know it, so I feel comfortable farting loudly, and often, in her presence, even when I’m piledriving her. An extremely low RS usually happens when I am dating below my level, and is an indication that I will cheat or dump her in short order.

Example 1:

  • TTF = 1 month
  • SOE = 0 (shameless)
  • LOF = 5 (kazoo)
  • NOF = 3 (tommy gun)
  • FDS = 1 (pumping motion moves gas along)

1 + 0 / 5 + 3 + 1 = 1/9 = 0.11 RS

The man in this example has a very low RS. He is probably porking a cow and has her make him a ham sandwich on Valentine’s Day.

Example 2:

  • TTF = 20 months (permanent damage resulted)
  • SOE = 10 (tried to blame it on dog)
  • LOF = 1 (clenched hard to prevent noisemaker, but mouse squeak escaped through restricted opening)
  • NOF = 1 (but it was a 30 second doozy of sweet relief)
  • FDS = 0 (violate such a sacred moment? never!)

20 + 10 / 1 + 1 + 0 = 15 RS

The man in this example has a very high RS. He is a beta provider who is with his first ever girlfriend (and sexual partner). He will ask “how many licks?” when she tells him to eat her out during her period. As long as she isn’t too far out of his league, he will likely marry this girl and die from a backed up fart that snaked its way to his brain.

On average, most of my relationships have an RS of between 0.8 and 1.2. If you regularly maintain RSs in the 0.01 to 0.15 range, you are either slumming it with heifers and calling yourself a player, or you are a super alpha who can get away with passing wind in your HB10 girlfriend’s face while she’s rimming you.

If you regularly score RSs in the 10 – 20 range, you are a platonic friend who has yet to realize it. You will not get anywhere with women until you first learn how to treat yourself to a satisfying blast of gas.

BONUS VIDEO!

This is a reenactment of an actual conversation. It happened in bed, but Xtranormal does not offer a bed scene as a backdrop.

Posted in Funny/Lolblogs, Inner Beauty, Relationships, Ugly Truths, Videos | 86 Comments »

Polyamory Is Disguised Polygamy

Nov 18th, 2010 by

The Man Who Was once wrote:

The basic problem with the Sex at Dawn thesis is that I just don’t see how it gets around two problems. First, men who get more than their share of sex and who exclude other men will pass on more of their genes. Second, women who only mate with the top males will get higher quality genes for their offspring which means they are more likely to survive and reproduce. Given those Darwinian incentives I don’t see how polyamoury is anything other than a disguised version of polygamy.

To get around this problem one would have to posit some kind of group selection, but that opens up a whole thorny nest of problems. While I find some of the group selectionist ideas of D.S. Wilson rather intriguing, especially as regards religion, I remain extremely skeptical, as the objections to group selection put forward by George Williams and others are really quite devastating. There would have to be some sort of really strong mechanism for punishing cheaters and equally distributing the sex for it to work and I just haven’t seen any evidence put forward of such a mechanism in our evolutionary past.

I’ve cast a jaundiced eye at the Sex at Dawn thesis in this post. The commenter above is onto something. Polyamory — multiple and simultaneous sexual relationships — means, in practice, a few high value dudes hording all the pussy. Multitudinously and concurrently. Polyamory cheerleaders, like Christopher Ryan, note the shape of our penis heads and go on to weave a happy utopia of free love where all the men and all the women get their rocks off whenever and however they wish, like the bonobos (who, by the way, are territorially squeezed compared to their more prodigiously successful chimp cousins). But he has to ignore female hypergamous mate choice and male jealousy to concoct this vision of a peaceful hedonist paradise.

The reality would be considerably darker; women would still want to bang the alpha, leaving the beta male out in the cold, clawing and scratching for rode-worn scraps, but now shackled with the obligation to help provide for kids that are likely not his own. What then happens is a complete breakdown in male investment in women and families. Men spend their working hours battling it out in vast, unproductive “Who’s the Sexiest?” competitions for privileged access to a veritable harem of vaj. If you think this is a recipe for creating and sustaining an advanced modern society filled with creature comforts, I have a grass hut somewhere in the Congo to sell you.

How, in a polyamorous society, are you going to arrange things so that women dispense their pussy equitably among high and low status men? As noted by the commenter, this would require some major group selection modulated behavior to be workable; a woman would fuck for the survival of the tribe, instead of the survival of her offspring. That would be awfully magnanimous of her! It’s like arranging a society where men are happy to boff fat, old and ugly chicks with equal attention to romantic detail that they give the hot young babes.

If anything, a culturally endorsed polyamorous dating market that virtually guaranteed a steady provider payout for disloyal, promiscuous women and their bastard spawn would help resolve the female tension for male commitment and good male genes in favor of the latter. Betas would be sexually shunned even more than they are now. LJBFing and undignified platonic beta orbiting would reach epic proportions. This blog would be classified as treason against the state and an incitement to rebellion and be shut down.

A happy hippie free love egalitarian commune it would not be. Widespread polyamorous practice where childrearing is done by the village and all men, uncertain of paternity, contribute resources to the well-being of the single moms and their unholy bastard squirtage, will not convince women to equally distribute their sexual favors among the men. Just the opposite; it would liberate women to single-mindedly pursue the few alphas in their purview, knowing full well that a beta blood-latticed safety net exists to protect them from destitution. In other words, socially-sanctioned and state-supported polyamory lets women have their cake and eat it, too. The only trade-off is that they will have to share scarce high value lovers with other women. Yet as any tour of a college campus will demonstrate, most women in their prime would prefer to share an alpha stud than extract commitment from a beta schlub. Until the wall looms, that is. Heh.

But why speculate? We now have evidence of what happened to polyamorous early human ancestors in the distant past — they went extinct.

The team found that the fossil finger ratios of Neanderthals, and early members of the human species, were lower than most living humans, which suggests that they had been exposed to high levels of prenatal androgens. This indicates that early humans were likely to be more competitive and promiscuous than people today. […]

Emma Nelson, from the University of Liverpool’s School of Archaeology, Classics and Egyptology, explains: “It is believed that prenatal androgens affect the genes responsible for the development of fingers, toes and the reproductive system. We have recently shown that promiscuous primate species have low index to ring finger ratios, while monogamous species have high ratios. We used this information to estimate the social behaviour of extinct apes and hominins. Although the fossil record is limited for this period, and more fossils are needed to confirm our findings, this method could prove to be an exciting new way of understanding how our social behaviour has evolved.”

Until we can reengineer hypergamy out of women’s hindbrains, advocacy for unconstrained polyamory in all but the most backward societies is DOA.

So what does nonviolent, consensual polyamory look like in modern real life when it’s purposefully tried? (No, it’s not SWPL. Even in that hothouse culture the chicks swarm to the top hipsters.) Think aging beta boomers milking their last ounce of testosterone by swapping barren hag wives. It’s best summed up in the following Chateau maxim:

Maxim #109: Consensual polyamory is a contrived hookup service for undesirable sexual market rejects.


Posted in Biomechanics is God, Pretty Lies, The Id Monster | 268 Comments »

Why Women Get Cheated On

Nov 17th, 2010 by

Here is a woman writing to an advice columnist about her predilection for dating men who wind up cheating on her.

Dear Bossy: I’m writing to you with hope that you can help me shed some light on why things happen in my personal life, and what i can do to resolve those things making me unhappy.

I feel really happy and fulfilled in all areas outside of my love life – career, family, friends, sports etc etc.  It’s all going great and I’m healthy and confident and good.  However, the last two years, i’ve had multiple experiences in my romantic life that make me question my own judgement and leave me feeling, well, worthless and unloved.

Let me take you through the details.

Two years ago, i caught my partner sleeping with another girl in our bed.  I moved out and broke it off with him.

Last year, i met someone i felt a real connection with.  He was warm and intelligent and thoughtful, and i really felt good around him.  I heard gossip from other people about him cheating, but when i confronted him to ask him why people would say such things, he assured me he was devoted to me.  Several months later, he confessed that he had another girlfriend, not just me.  I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.  I cut all ties with him, and looking back, i know that i had my part to play in the situation, because, just like last time when there had been signs, i ignored them.  Not because i didn’t want them to be true, but because i guess i just trusted blindly. You know the saying, a liar won’t believe anyone else?  Well, i guess being someone who wouldn’t cheat made me ignorant of the idea that others do.

It took another 6 months before i met someone i was attracted to, who i had started off being friends with.  I just felt like a casual fling, he was not my type at all romantically, and I advised him that while I enjoyed his friendship, I wasn’t able to offer him anything more. One night this guy sent me a message saying he had just been on a date, and that he’d had an amazing time, but the girl in question wouldn’t have sex on the first date….so could he come over?  Again, I acknowledge my part in this by wanting a casual fling, but I guess I thought one could be conducted with dignity and respect.

Fast forward another couple of months, I got to know this really lovely guy at work.  I was just friends with him for a long time, not good friends, but i felt i knew enough about him.  I’ve seen him take care of another colleague who was sick, he has photos of his nieces and nephews on his desk, and he gets physically uneasy when one of our male colleagues makes inappropriate comments.  I guess what I’m saying is that this time around, I took the time to try to pick up on cues that tell me what a man’s really like before dating him.  Anyhow, I went to lunch a few times with him, and I really felt he was genuine and compassionate and interested in me.  We went on a couple of dates, and they were really great.  We went out for a coffee after work and talked for four hours.  I had been very cautious about dating given my previous experiences, but felt that he was trustworthy and honest.

Two days later, my other colleague, who had recently broken up with his work girlfriend, came to me and asked me to coffee (not knowing i was seeing this colleague – i wanted to keep it quiet at such an early stage).  During coffee, my friend broke down and told me that his ex had told him she’s started seeing someone else….yep, you guessed it, my new guy.

Bossy, I feel like I’m a hamster in a wheel, running on the same path making the same mistakes over and over again.  I don’t want to make these mistakes.  I thought I’d learned from the first two cheaters, but it’s becoming a pattern that is hurting so much, and I want to break it.

To an extent, I hold these guys responsible for their own behaviour, but deep in my heart I feel like this is happening because 1. I am not picking up on signals that i should, and 2. I am sending out signals that i am deserving of this.

Bossy, I’m swearing off men for a little while until I get my head straight.  At the moment I just feel too fragile and too suspicious, which is definitely not a good mix for a potential future!

I guess I’m just seeking your advice on a couple of things:
Firstly, how can i better screen guys?  What’s wrong with me that the men i’ve dated in the last two years consider me just discardable and unworthy of honesty and fidelity?  How can I paint myself in a diffferent light?

Secondly, I feel like dirt.  I feel worthless and discardable… some of these guys have gone on to be in successful relationships, so it feels to me like they have the capacity to respect, but not to respect me.  How can I overcome these feelings?  What can I do to feel good about myself again?

Finally, when it’s time for me to be ready to date again, how can I develop a balance between being jaded and cynical, and being naive?

I know I’m imperfect.  I can learn a lot and I accept my role in these situations.  I just feel so used and useless right now, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Thank you,
Cheated

“I feel like I’m a hamster in a wheel, running on the same path making the same mistakes over and over again.”

You don’t say! Even women recognize their gender is afflicted with a rationalization hamster.

Props to the guy asking for a booty call because his other woman wouldn’t put out on the first date. Balls, my friends.

I’m not including “Bossy’s” reply, because it was stupid — typical womanese, full of blame-shifting and platitudes, signifying nothing.

Here is the truth. Women get cheated on for four reasons, three of which they are complicit in their own betrayal.

  1. They have stopped catering to a man’s desire. Women who choose to get fat or withhold sex are ripe candidates for being cheated on. A man who is driven to cheating by his fat, frigid wife has my sympathies.
  2. They tingle for assholes. About 1/3 of women — usually the hottest chicks — have an irresistible urge to copulate with assholes, jerks, thugs and other assorted aloof cads. (Another 1/3 are susceptible to the asshole’s charms but are occasionally capable of eschewing the blind cravings of their vaginas.) Naturally, the assholes cheat. These women then cry foul, but they have invited betrayal into their lives. Their pain was prophesied the moment they spread their legs.
  3. They shoot out of their league. I would tell a woman: You want to date an alpha one or more points higher than you? Prepare to be betrayed at some future date, said date which will be sooner rather than later if he’s considerably higher value than what you could be expected to get. More than a few women are OK with this trade-off.
  4. Men like variety. Women have no control over this. Men are programmed to enjoy the hunt, and to experience pleasure from a multitude of pussy, and men with options are able to fulfill that desire. The best women can do to counter this manly impulse is to be young and hot.

A reader named “repentant male” (*cough* girly man *cough*) commented on the article:

I thought I would add some thoughts from the opposite side.

I used to be a cheating husband.  I love my wife dearly, I love my kids, I get angry at sexist jokes, and have photos of my kids on the desk.

I have been married for 20+ years, but there has been a hole in my personal fulfillment.  I met somebody else who was extremely physical with me.  O.M.G It was like I was 19 again – My world changed from one where I was literally begging for physical intimacy – and driving my wife away by doing so, to one where my every need was more than fulfilled.

After 6 months, I decided that it was time to leave my wife of 20+ years.  in the end, I couldn’t do it – I confessed, and broke the relationship off with the other woman.

Was it entirely my wifes fault? no Was it entirely my fault? – no – it was a combination of factors.  My wife didn’t understand how important physical intimacy was to me, and I wasn’t communicating properly with her.

Long story short, lots of counseling later, we are both still together, and the physical side is getting better – it will never be as awesome as it was with the other woman, but that’s not the point.

So – Are you *sure* that you are meeting the needs of your partner?  You may not be.

Take heed, ladies. You have to earn a husband’s faithfulness. This woman was lucky; her husband was too beta to do the right thing for his happiness. Maybe you won’t be so lucky. The sexual market is a worldwide dominion of genitals, and marriage is no exemption from its eternal, unrelenting, remorseless barter.

Posted in Girls, The Id Monster | 222 Comments »

Escaping The Friend Zone

Nov 16th, 2010 by

Many men will nod with understanding when reading the following LJBF account from a reader:

I was just on the receiving end of the fastest friend zone in the world. It usually occurs after orbiting a girl for a while and then having her reject a move. This happened before any actual moves.

– Met this girl through a female friend when the 3 of us went to the cinema
– Got her number the same evening, she was very warm and enthusiastic towards me, we exchanged some messages later
– Called her 2 days later and had a chat where she was again the same towards me. Tried to schedule a drink at Thursday, she was busy but offered Saturday instead
– 15 minutes later I get this text from her: “I’m really sorry, I’m not really up for going out, I was in a long relationship until recently. It was very nice in the cinema with you, you’re really pleasant and interesting to talk with, but I understood it only as friendship.”
– My reply 15 minutes later: “Fair enough. I appreciate you telling me, I went through something similar. If you’d like that interesting conversation, feel free to call.”
– Her reply 2 minutes later: “Ok. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way, I didn’t intend to.”
– My reply 2 minutes later: “Don’t worry, I didn’t propose to you or something Brave of you to tell me. Enjoy “

I tried to signal in my replies that it didn’t really matter because I didn’t do anything except chat with her, but wasn’t going to hang around as a friend. On the other hand, since she was so direct (honest), I didn’t feel the need to counter with bombs like “What, you thought I was hitting on you?” or attempt to salvage.

I guess that even though I approached with no pressure she knew that no guy asks a girl out unless he intends something, and doused it. Whether it was because of her real recent breakup or just a polite way of telling me that she wasn’t interested, I’ll never know. Maybe I should just be proud of putting out enough of a sexy vibe in one hour after the movie, eh?

Regardless, that’s the fastest friend zone I’ve ever seen!

Did this story raise the hairs on the back of your neck? Did you identify with the emailer? The friend zone is like a huge pussy planet with a mighty gravitational pull; your escape velocity needs to be very fast to avoid getting sucked into receiving warm hugs with three pats on the back and listening to boyfriend stories not involving you.

The best way to dodge the friend zone is to refrain from putting yourself in a position in which befriending is possible. That means making it clear to a girl early on that you see her as a sexual conquest waiting to happen. Once befriended, it is very difficult to change her opinion of you to one of potential lover. An ounce of sleaziness is worth a pound of conversion.

If it’s a bang you want, it’s a friendship you don’t want. There are only a few circumstances under which it is feasible to be friends with a girl.

This is not to argue that befriending girls in order to later get in their pants can’t be a successful hookup strategy. If you have the patience of a saint, the fortitude to endure painful blue balls, and the willingness to undertake a high effort endeavor with a small chance of reward, then the friend zone to fuck zone plot ploy is for you. Most men, however, don’t feel they have ten lifetimes to devote to this long-view strategy. Plus, there is the matter of preserving one’s dignity.

The emailer made his move quickly, but without being there to observe his body language and the tone of his conversation, it’s impossible to say whether he made an early impression as a sexual man or as a good-natured friend of a friend. In addition, the context was not ideal for pickup. A girl who meets you through a mutual girl friend is going to mentally box you into the friend zone by association. This is especially true if your girl buddy talked about you in private with her girl friend as if you were the bestest male buddy in the world a girl could hope for. And don’t you just want to squeeze his chipmunk cheeks!

Obviously, when the emailer tried to schedule a later date, she clued in to his intentions. It’s possible she may have known his intentions from the first meeting, but it’s good policy to never underestimate the ability of girls to misread a man’s romantic pursuit. As a defensive measure, girls are adept at missing male sexual overtures. Since most men are on the prowl most of the time, it would make sense for women to behave as if they notice nothing that could shake their coy repose. This is why the best seducers are men who take action to get what they want, rather than men who passively wait for love to fall in their laps.

If it’s true the girl recently left a long relationship, she would likely have welcomed the attention of the emailer, if only for a platonic date with friends. Thus, she may have misled him into believing she was available FOR HIM. (Despite what women say, recent breakups are no impediment to hooking up with a new man if he is an alpha.) It’s a common mistake for men to enter contrived social scenarios (as this emailer’s was) and attempt to capitalize on the good fortune of being thrust into the company of an attractive girl. But quick pickups rarely happen that way, unless you are obviously higher value than your target. Girls don’t like going on dates with men who take advantage of infrequent forced social arrangements, particularly if her friends are watching. A few days later, she may have even felt some resentment toward the emailer for assuming she would be interested just because he’s a friend of her friend.

It is also possible, although not as likely, that she was turned on by the emailer and stomped on the brakes before the flirting spun out of control. Some girls don’t trust themselves after a breakup; sex is a quick and dirty way to rejuvenate the ailing female ego. But this is more of female rationalization than anything else. There are too many women who will monkey swing from one alpha cock to another to buy into that line of thinking.

Once she knows you’re interested, there’s no backpedaling without making yourself look like a tool. “You thought I was hitting on you?” will sound pathetically transparent to even the stupidest girls. The emailer avoided doing that, but his chosen responses weren’t much better. “Fair enough” is beta mincemeat. Where is the teasing? The cocky attitude? “Fair enough” is what you say to your neighbor when you are arguing over a property line assessment.

Better reply (a few hours later): “Wow, you sound like a soap opera. Drama queen!”

Or don’t reply at all. There’s nothing like a non-reply to rev up a hamster in distress.

And for fuck’s sake, don’t suggest she call you “if you’d like that interesting conversation”. She just blew you off and you’re rewarding her with your time? For crying out loud, dude. Sack up!

Also, whenever a girl says “I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way” (and let’s face it, men, these words are like fingernails on a chalkboard to us), the worst response is “Don’t worry.” Why let her off the hook with exactly what she wants to hear? Play with the condescending bitch a little bit. Better answer: “Oh LORDY my heart… it is exploding! However shall I go on?!”

“Bravo of you to tell me”?!? *gag* RTFA.

Posted in Escape, Game, Girls | 186 Comments »

The Sensitive Girl

Nov 15th, 2010 by

Something that men in their rush to conquer pussy tend to overlook, particularly those men new to the game, are that some girls can be destroyed by the coldblooded mechanization of the modern mating market. These are the sensitive girls who don’t know how to, or aren’t willing to, give as bad as they get. They genuinely hurt when their hearts get crushed, and have no way to defend themselves except by retreating to sulking in their bedrooms for months. They are easy prey for worldly seducers.

The sensitive girl (SG) is created as much as born. While most are born with a predilection to sentimentality, their exquisite victimization can be reinforced by their choices. An SG7 who shoots out of her league with a male 9 is asking for heartbreak. An SG slut (they do exist; you’ve never seen such a bag of neuroses!) has herself to blame for always falling short of experiencing the loving commitment she secretly craves from a man. An SG who has had the misfortune to fall in love with a sociopath will know the pain of having her buttons pressed and her strings pulled only to learn in the end that her romance was an illusion.

There are also the faux SGs — the ones who pretend to sentimentality but are really just drama whores forever searching for their next hit of accelerated relationship fanfare. They are contrivances who should be handled with a healthy dose of cynicism. Faux SGs make perfect backup lovers, as your continual unexplained absences where you spend time devoted to your primary relationship fuel their drama fix. It’s easy to identify a faux SG — just look for the girl who can’t stop flapping her gums about “how hard it is to date men in this city” while she’s showing some random guy her new hip tattoo.

The authentic “tears on pillow” SG is usually:

– a 5, 6 or 7. Uglier girls have been resigned to their depressing fate since childhood, and don’t expect much from men. They grow up to become hard-headed pragmatists, and make good disciplinarians for the omega roustabouts in their lives. 8s and above are too hot to be sentimental saps for long; most find that capitalizing on their brief window of power is far more fun than wallowing in self pity.

– stricken with a small physical flaw to which she is prone to blaming her unluckiness in love.

– a formerly hot cougar. Now we know the appeal of cats. What creature is more willing to sit still as a despondent aging cougar at the nexus of nostalgia for her lost beauty and sentimentality for the romantic gestures from men she can no longer attract regales it with tales of lovelorn woe?

– a young, naive girl. Break her heart and surely there will be a concierge waiting for you at the garnet gates of hell.

– a broken bitch. Not every girl who rides the cock carousel long and hard erects around herself a bodice of tankgrrl armor. A few self-confident sirens exit the ride puking their guts out, their souls shattered, whimpering for release in the arms of a niceguy. See: … well, you can figure out who.

Of all the taxonomy of women, the sensitive girl stands alone as the most capable of inducing pangs of guilt in a player. A true SG, her heart freely given with no strings attached, is so easy to destroy that you may hesitate before dragging her too deeply into your rakematrix. The SG has a habit of falling in love, and of glorifying your every word and action. Breakups often hit her completely unawares. She will mewl for reassurances from you that you won’t leave her. She cries just imagining a breakup, and will tremble with anxiety if you so much as hint at dissatisfaction with the relationship.

Tragically for inveterate romanticists, the SG is a species on the verge of extinction. You will find her skipping in Polish meadows or careening through Iowan cornfields, oblivious to the changes around her. Daisies poking up from a steaming worldwide shitvista.

The SG suffers unbeknownst in our post-monogamy, quasi-polygyny world. She is the victim of her bloodless sisters who turn men to the art of the game and the darker nature of women. These men, their egos and their courtship dance sharpened to a serrated edge, will unintentionally hurt the SG should they stumble into her tiny snowglobe world, mistakenly thinking she is like the others. Collateral damage, they will say. But a few players who retain a semblance of empathy will feel horrible for ushering another childlike heart into the realm of Phthonus.

A reader emails:

Hopefully a quick question – The GF is about to say “I love you”, but I don’t know how to respond? Any recommended advice here, or anything that’s worked well before? I don’t exactly love her either, but I’m a sucker for tears if I ever saw them.

A woman’s tears can immobilize a man. This blog teaches men to train themselves to remain stoic in an onslaught of waterworks, because many women are skilled in the art of manipulation through summoned tears. But sometimes a tear is just a tear, a Lite-Brite view of genuine inner turmoil.

If, as suspected, this man’s GF is an SG (SGs are the type of girl who will say “I love you” first, and will be the most hurt if the response isn’t in kind), then care must be taken with the handling of her heart. In event of unreciprocated love, her tears will be real. The reader was redirected to this post for possible replies to an “I love you” from a woman one doesn’t love in return. Further suggestions were offered, with the caveat that, no matter how expedient, it is in the player’s interest to avoid saying “I love you, too” if the feeling isn’t mutual. One, it’s hard to say with a straight face if it isn’t sincerely felt. Two, saying “I love you” to a girl you don’t love will cheapen the words when you want to say them to a girl you truly do love. You’ll come to doubt whether any of your future feelings of love are real.

It’s especially dangerous territory to lie about love with an SG. Lie all you want to a lawyercunt or a slut or a golddigger or a single mom or a thrice divorcée, because being the instrument of karmic comeuppance is your male prerogative. But lie to the SG, and her hopes, having been lifted to exalted heights, will inevitably come crashing down so hard her sorrow will weigh on you like a phantom inquisitor for years afterward. Have you ever walked out for the final time from a dimly-lit bedroom to the receding sound of your lover’s sobs trailing you from the shrinking corner of her bed? I can assure you, it’s not easy to brush off. The memory will singe. Heel thyself, cad.

Needless to say, this guilt is bad for maintaining the right frame for pickup. The best way to deal with ILY from an SG you don’t love is to be playful and evasive. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that.” Or “Right back atcha.” Plausible deniability — in the form of “I didn’t say or insinuate that I didn’t love you” — is key here. Most SGs hear what they want to hear, so this tactic will work.

To the callous bastards who read here: despoil your SGs, ruin them for the supplicative betas who would be good fits for the SGs, corrupt them to the power of the jaded side, but don’t tell them you love them if you don’t. There is a personal code of honor even the cruelest player abides. Violate at your own risk.

Of course, there’s always the option of falling in love with an SG. It’s not like it’s hard to do.

Posted in Girls, Inner Beauty, Love | 155 Comments »

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