Answer below
The satchel.
As everyone helpfully pointed out, there are a lot of annoying things in this picture.
But the satchel-wearing herb is the most annoying of them all. Its 1AM and he’s drinking a beer in a loud bar environment that is not conducive to bringing textbooks and studying for an art history exam. Why does he need to wear that stupid satchel? Did mommy pack a midnight snack for him? Every time one of these dorks turns around the satchel knocks over a drink or hits some short girl in the face. Tres gay.
The worst offenders are the guys who wear bulging backpacks filled with, no doubt, threadless.com t-shirts. They occupy enough personal space for two people.
Contest winners are mm, rina and finefantastic. Please claim your winning prize to perform a free naked pole dance in my bedroom before the end of month. Preferably together. Windex will be supplied.
Everything?
his man-purse looks biodegradable.
The fact that he probably fell for Foster’s “Australian for Beer” campaign when the stuff’s actually brewed in Canada?
The Black Cat’s steadfast refusal to clean any surface in their establishment?
lens flare.
Black mixed with two non-matching shades of brown. Guy has a double chin.
He’s drinking beer from a fucking CAN. What kind of bohemian butt trog drinks shitty beer from a can? Dude, get a nice bottled microbrew. Show at least a modicum of sophistication.
Plus his clothing screams “I’m a loser and a mommy’s boy.” But really it’s the beer can that sent me over the edge.
His sunglasses
Everything
Dude isn’t that you?
Fosters. It’s Australian for “Chode”.
Wanna be Hipster, in terrible clothes drinking a fosters, with some sort of earthy looking bag.
he’s wearing light brown and grey, not two shades of brown.
i don’t know why you find him that annoying, especially drinking beer from a can. what kind of silly cunt worries about not drinking a microbrew bottle?
and fosters is fucking beer, not champaign, you can’t fade a guy for drinking a certain goddamn beer.
his purse looks fucking queer as a duck’s foot.
on second thought those pants might be olive drab, or some shit.
First off, he’s wearing his blazer and bag like he just came in or is about to leave, yet he’s in the middle of a beer. Looks lame, just take the blazer and bag off and look more comfortable.
Also, the angle he’s holding his beer at is muy lame. It’s almost like a protective dork shield there just to occupy his arms and make him look less uncomfortable.
And on a more gay note, his outfit colors are drab and too close to his natural color season, which “washes” him out.
That I can tell just by looking at this dude that he won’t pull my hair.
That I can tell just by looking at this dude that he’s pulled Lemmonex’s hair.
WAIT, is it just me or did dude paint his fingernails on his left hand?
Nah I must be seeing things
Why he might be annoying:
His threads. It looks as though he got off of Soul Train
He’s holding his beer up to his chest as a defense mechanism (wuss)
His posture doesn’t look relaxed
His name could be Herb, but it’s only a guess
The blazer fits very badly, as does the bag, which kind of makes the whole thing splooge out like he’s hard…and that he got hard by looking at a can of Foster’s.
Hell, I’m half-Aussie, and that even disturbs ME.
Also, all earth tones? Who picked his clothes, Naomi Wolf?
The picture is more dull than annoying, but the post is annoying.
Call me dense, but I don’t see anything annoying in this picture.
the bag.
20. Anonymous
That comment made no fucking sense. The picture is dull but the post is annoying….
isn’t the post made up of only the picture so basically you’re saying the picture IS annoying…
Wait is that you in the picture?
Could be a prop bag.
23 Virgl
I think you got it…almost. The act of posting the pic is annoying. There ya go!
14. T., “too close to his natural color season, which “washes” him out.”
Could you explain or point to a guide to pairing colors and skin tones?
His blazer and trousers are too close in color. He has a goatee. He has hair obscuring his forehead because he’s timid and inhibited. He’s not talking to anyone, but surveying the scene, trying to work up some courage. The ill-fitting blazer makes his shoulders look small. He’s standing in the middle of the room, when he could be relaxing against a wall or on a chair. Instead, he’s in everyones way with no evident purpose. He looks like a Microsoft software engineer or a junior physics prof. and he’s at some moderately hip party/place.
The ugly piece of artwork
The turned up unhemmed pants in the background.
@ #26, TSM: There’s a great guide to pairing up skin tones and clothing color. I was skeptical but once I tried it the response I got from friends and strangers was astounding. It’s called Color for Men by Carole Jackson and it’s out of print. I had to order it online used. It even comes with a color chart to bring when you shop and you can’t buy clothes not on your skin tone chart. It’s why I now own no brown clothes. I usually never divulge about this book because it’s almost like a secret weapon.
As long as we’re soliciting opinions, I need some over here:
http://therawness.com/pimp-week-1-iceberg-slim-scene-1/ (roissy already got a mention in the comments section, ha)
My big cock is big.
Was that picture taken at Lucky Bar in DC?
30 Dick
Mon crayon est grand.
“and fosters is fucking beer, not champaign”
Feh. Place a glass of Chimay Bleu and a glass of Champagne in front of me and see which one I choose.
See if I give a shit.
No passion in him. Why is he passively letting someone take his picture to post on a ugly truths blog?
Looks like the pics was taken at Chief Ikes… yet another reason the pic is annoying.
Really? I think it looks like the Black Cat.
As several other people have mentioned here, my first thought was everything.
man purse
I looks like he has a boner.
His clothes. But I think the first thing that annoyed me was that you blocked out his face as if we’re going to bump into the guy in public and tell me of the photo.
http://thisdevilsworkday.wordpress.com/
Oh, my. Gannon and I just agreed on something.
As a short chick, thanks. I HATE getting thwacked by some stupid guy’s bag.
the only exceptions to the satchel rule are if the guy is a player and has to carry around a lot of props for his routine, like rune stones or astrology books, or if he is a vagabond traveler.
this guy does not pass the player test as he does not look like he’s revving up for a big pickup attempt.
verdict: HERB.
We’ve just report
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The satchel just means the poor loser has no car and has to hoof it over to the club after work, with his take-home work in tow. Not uncommon in DC among Hill rats and non-profit dorks.
Microbrew=metrosexual.
Brown always looks like shit.
Man bag in nightclub=looser.
Microbrew=metrosexual.
Brown always looks like shit.
Man bag in nightclub=looser.
i just noticed that i won!
is finefantastic a man?
finefantastic is a fine AND fantastic (2 for the price of 1!) woman.
[…] 4, 2009 by roissy First there was this. Then this herb poked his fat head up from his burrow. Then a magnificent specimen of herb was […]
Everything. Where to begin? Why carry the bag?As previous person wrote, no car – meh! Shite hair, shite clothes. Beer can trying to look hard – meh! meh!
Herbus maximus.
No it’s not trés gay – I’m a gay alpha and I’d DIE before cruising like that cunt.
(… and gay alphas REALLY have pussy at 9 and 10 level chasing after us! We herbify all the rest of you poor cunts. We don’t laugh at herbs, we fucking EAT them!!!! Nom nom nom!)
What’s wrong with Threadless.com t-shirts?