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Marriage Does A Body Bad

Anyone who has heard the complaints of married men about their wives’ letting it all go to pot after the first bite of the wedding cake would not be surprised by this study.  As if there wasn’t already enough to argue against the raw deal for men that is modern marriage, we now have slovenly fatness to toss into the mix.

•Women in their teens and early 20s who continued to date but didn’t cohabitate gained an average of 15 pounds over five years; their male counterparts added about 24 pounds.

•Newly married women in that age group packed on 24 pounds in five years; newly married men gained 30 pounds.

That degree of gain wasn’t seen in couples who were living together but not married. Women gained 3 pounds more than their single peers — 18 pounds — and men gained 24 pounds.

Single people stay the thinnest, followed closely by cohabiting couples, and bringing up the (very large) rear are married couples.  Since weight gain on men is not as deleterious to their romantic prospects nor as deal-breaking for the women who love them, the real extent of how structurally anti-pleasure marriage is reveals itself in the pounds packed on by the wives.  A wife who stuffs her cakehole and bloats up by 24 pounds in the first five years of marriage is basically saying she doesn’t give a flying fuck about her husband’s desires.  So she isn’t just a lardass she’s inconsiderate.  Inner ugly marches lockstep with outer ugly.

“When people are dating, there may be more incentive to be thin,” Gordon-Larsen says.

The sexual market uber alles.  What married couples don’t seem to grasp is that the rules have changed.  Marriage is no longer a sanctuary from the unforgiving judgement of human mate preference.  No fault divorce and a complete collapse of the old social prohibitions have ensured that.

Single young adults tend to be the most active, watch the least amount of TV and are the least likely to be obese, says Natalie The, a researcher at the University of North Carolina.

What does marriage have going for it anymore?

She says many factors probably contribute to couples’ weight, including having children, post-pregnancy pounds, having less time to exercise and eating out more or cooking bigger meals.

Or losing the incentive to keep yourself attractive to the opposite sex.  No doubt many of these women married losers who aren’t flight risks, so why bother?

The 50% divorce rate is easy to understand once you know the cycle of life:

Man marries woman ——> woman’s goal is achieved (snag monogamous provider) while man’s goal (spread the seed) is thwarted ——> woman no longer feels need to be attractive to man ——> she gets fat ——> man loses interest in fucking her ——> woman becomes insecure over this and eats even more ——> she gets fatter ——> man drops all pretense of pleasing his fat wife and sits around belching, farting, drinking beer, watching sports, and forgetting anniversaries ——> woman resents man for this ——> woman shovels massive quantities of food down her gullet for comfort and pleasure ——> woman is now unrecognizable manatee ——> man escapes to nightly poker games with his buddies and quick jerks to porn ——> woman files for divorce ——> man loses half his money ——> woman uses this unearned windfall to hire personal trainer ——> woman loses weight remembering what it takes to please a man.

I have a question for all those fatass wives out there.
Tell me, when the mirror mocks you and your husband finds the sight of you repulsive and your marriage crumbles around you in a deluge of bitter bitter tears, ask yourself…
was the food worth it?

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