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Dealing With Cutesy Chicks

A reader is annoyed by a common ingenue habit:

I have game. I am not a AFC. That said, here is a pattern I’ve noticed.

EVERY girl who has used “ok, ill catch ya later babe”
Or, “Hey honey, how’ve you been?”…. has ALWAYS been a dead end.
(super-flirt = dead end)

My take:  She is wired to string guys along…..and loves the pack of dogs pursuing her…
Frankly, I fiind it annoying, b/c it’s clear they’re F’ing with me…
No girl I’ve ever fucked has used the word “honey” and “babe” on me while in seduction mode…
In general, I disengage immediately when I sense asymmetric interest level   (eg: doesn’t counteroffer a date night)

Would love to hear your analysis, and I’d love some disarming rebuttals for this, to shut down her cute little game, and to show I am not falling for her bullshit mindgames….

There are two reasons a girl you aren’t screwing (but have designs to screw) might refer to you by an inappropriately affectionate term such as “babe” or “honey”:

1. She is aroused by you and tamps down her desire by “letting the air out” of the interaction, typically by reverting to cutesy mode and away from sexy mode.

2. She is, as the reader says, an incorrigible flirt, and gets off on giving men hope by pretending to a level of intimacy that she doesn’t really feel herself.

I, too, find this habit annoying, and my response is usually stock:

“Honey? What’re we, a married couple already? Jesus you move fast.”

Basically, disqualify her and tacitly accuse her of chasing you. The cutesy act is beta bait to entrap you into a chaser frame. What do you do with beta bait? You throw it right back at her, and the best way to do that is to imply she’s expecting more from you than you are from her. A skilled dodge of beta bait is a challenge to a woman, and she’ll respond by either adjusting her attitude in a more chastened direction or raising the shit test stakes as her arousal heightens and the prospect of sex becomes credible.

The Wickedest Links

1. Bruce Charlton wonders if the perpetual lying of the ruling elite is having a biological effect on their brain wiring.

After years and years of conditioning in dishonesty, the typical modern intellectual (whether journalist, scientist, lawyer, teacher, doctor or whatever) becomes physically unable to think straight.

Thus the lack of common sense of the ‘Clever Sillies’ who rule modern societies and are driving them into suicide and self-destruction may, in practice, be intractable – short of mass repentance and long-term rehabilitation and retraining of neural pathways and connections.

I can think of another method that would work to wonderfully focus the mind and bring common sense back.

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2. A study from June 2012 finds that porn was a direct cause of 10% of all divorces in the US in the 1960s and 1970s.

We test whether pornography causes divorce. Using state-level panel data on the divorce rate and sales of Playboy magazine, we document a strong cross-sectional and time-series relation between lagged sales of Playboy and the divorce rate. The simple correlation between divorce and sales lagged two years is 44 percent, with a T-statistic of 20. This large correlation is robust to using only the first half of the sample, adjusting for all state-level heterogeneity and for any time trends by including state and year fixed effects, and using an instrumental variable to correct for any possible endogeneity in Playboy sales. Divorce rates are also significantly correlated with sales of Penthouse but they are not correlated with sales of Time magazine. Our overall estimates suggest that pornography probably caused 10 percent of all divorces in the United States in the sixties and seventies.

Options = instability. Porn isn’t a male sexual market option in the traditional sense, but it is an option in the hindbrain sense. The viewing of porn satiates the libido and tricks the gene’s prime directive into believing — that is, biochemically reacting as if — it has been fulfilled. Married men who watch porn are, in a truncated fashion, having dalliances with hundreds of sexy mistresses. Combine this phantom psychological grooming of feeling like one has limitless high quality mate options with the bursting female obesity epidemic that took off right around the same time porn ejaculated onto the cultural mainstream, and the only surprise is that the deadly one-two punch didn’t directly account for more than 10% of divorces.

In case you’re wondering, yes, female porn — aka pulp romance novels, celebrity tabloids, and soap operas — which coincidentally also took off as a cultural phenomenon in the 1960s, has likely contributed to marital dissolution as female consumers feed their growing hunger for alpha male love and drama and consequently drive a wedge of dissatisfaction between them and their real-life beta male spouses.

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3. Chinese aren’t on board with the whole “democracy is great!” Western line of thought. Fancy that! Human population groups aren’t fungible, in either capability or sensibility. HBDers will nod knowingly at this latest revelation into real diversity, but the ruling elite, steeped and suffocating in a stinking silo of their own shibboleths, will grapple with this unsettling information the best way they know how: By silencing discussion.

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4. Speaking of silencing discussion, it appears that the Left is now fully committed to the principle of speech restrictions. Ah, the Left. Remember those lovable guys? The ones who used to whine about witch hunts and censorship by the antediluvian Right? Yeah, well, times have changed, and victory in the endless war over less enlightened white people requires a… reassessment… of battle tactics. Now that the truths being uncovered are discrediting just about everything the current incarnation of the Left believes, and that the Cathedral is being mischievously subverted by agents provocateur who don’t fear them and in fact love taking a steaming dump in their faces, cherished principles will need to be adjusted to accommodate some progressive speech suppression so that no one’s feelings are hurt, except for the feelings of those implacable moral reprobates who don’t toe the party line. Naturally, the leftoids are confident they can pull off their inspired con, because the top of the rank is filled to brimming with the sorts of people who evolved an exquisite verbal facility for sophistry.

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5. Boys with sisters are more likely to be Republicans. Correlational? Causative? Who knows, but this does hint that men who are exposed to female nature early in life and continuing forward are inclined to drift to the political right. The reason for that should be obvious: The earthy, organic right is where a realistic appraisal of the world substitutes for idealistic zeal in the perfectibility of humans. Or: Sisters be keepin’ it real, yo.

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6. This is the closest to realtalk anyone on Fox News has ever come. But Bill O’Reilly still can’t pull the shroud all the way back and confront the id head-on. He blames the destruction of the nuclear family for blacks’ failings, failings to which, admirably, he gives a clean airing, but the truth goes a bit deeper, and a lot uglier. As some liberal Cablinasians will inform him, black family dissolution likely has a cause itself, an intractable cause that originates in the neural gears, and that, when left to grind mercilessly and free from cultural constraint, ultimately propels the social dystopia of sky high single momhood rates and parasitic criminality. The fear to face the id by the left and right is understandable. Blame the family breakdown, and you leave hope that amelioration is possible. But admit that dark, ancient forces woven into the architecture of the brain itself are at work, and all hope is lost. And when hope is lost, what is there left to meddle in for morally posturing and preening leftoids?

I have a suggestion for discouraged leftoids with nothing Left to do: Ban soda! Obesity is a more recent emergence, and preaching fire and brimstone against refined grains, sugar and soda can go a long way to beautifying the country.

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7. For purposes of artistic license, I was a little glib in my assertion above that the reversal of black (and white) family breakdown isn’t possible or will have no effect on overall social dysfunction. Of course, this is not true. Contra some trailblazing determinists, the relatively ahistorical recent rise of single momhood proves that it has a social component as well as a genetic one. But without a realization by the ruling equalism-adhering elite that underlying human mental algorithms which evolved over tens of thousands of years manifest as social phenomena, there can be no effective policy crafted that will competently address the problem of black, and now increasingly, white dysfunction. But in order for a pro-nuclear family policy to find success, it must violate in some way the liberal ur-moral aesthetics of harm and fairness. That is, no public policy with the goal of constraining and redirecting evolved social preferences that are at odds with advanced civilization will work unless, to put it metaphorically, the lash is taken to delusions about untrammeled individualism and nonjudgmentalism.

For a real world example of what such a policy would constitute, consider the following: There once was a time when a relentless shaming campaign to stop jaywalking was public and social policy. And it worked. Jaywalking dropped precipitously. We can do the same with single moms, thuglets, fly-by-night cads, and blubbery fatties: Mock them. Mock them until they are on the verge of self-deliverance. Mock them until their pain is so acute and palpable that it serves as a warning to others contemplating the same life paths. Humans are at heart a social species, and nothing clears the mind and alters the behavior like a scorching psychological scaphism in the town square.

Will some people’s feelings get hurt? You bet. But there is more on this moral earth than is dreamt of in the cramped, claustrophobic moral attic of tunnel-visioned leftoids who can only see a fatty crying but miss a nation groaning under the weight of millions of fatties.

A solid, thick, tight study has scraped the shins with a loaded deadlift bar, and the findings are nothing short of an ECA stacked validation of CH teachings. For as long as the Provencal sun has shone its ethereal light on the Chateau, we have been saying that male power and dominance — and the outcome independent attitude that conveys those traits — are the primary male attractiveness cues that women LOVE LOVE LOVE. And where there’s LOVE LOVE LOVE, there’s TINGLE TINGLE TINGLE.

Although recent research has increasingly focused on human sexual selection, fundamental questions remain concerning the relative influence of individual traits on success in competition for mates and the mechanisms, form, and direction of these sexual selective pressures. Here, we explore sexual selection on men’s traits by ascertaining men’s dominance and attractiveness from male and female acquaintances. On a large American university campus, 63 men from two social fraternities provided anthropometric measurements, facial photographs, voice recordings, and reported mating success (number of sexual partners). These men also assessed each other’s dominance, and 72 women from two socially affiliated sororities assessed the men’s attractiveness. We measured facial masculinity from inter-landmark distances and vocal masculinity from acoustic parameters. We additionally obtained facial and vocal attractiveness and dominance ratings from unfamiliar observers. Results indicate that dominance and the traits associated with it predict men’s mating success, but attractiveness and the traits associated with it do not. These findings point to the salience of contest competition on men’s mating success in this population.

“Only looks matter” shut-in dorks wept bitter, Cheetos-laced orange tears.

This study is chock full of quotable goodness, and the experimental breadth is wide enough to spur further discussion.

[P]rior studies have typically focused on either female choice or male contests without attempting to quantify the relative contributions of these mechanisms to the total sexual selective pressure on a particular trait (Hunt, Breuker, Sadowski, & Moore, 2009). Second, to our knowledge, no study reporting relationships between a male trait and mating success has investigated whether these relationships were mediated by attractiveness or dominance. Third, most studies of sexual selection in men have measured success under female choice or male contests from limited information, such as body size, strength, or ratings of faces or voices made by strangers in the laboratory. Attractiveness and dominance have thus frequently been assessed devoid of relevant information, such as personality and intelligence, and in isolation from the complex webs of social relationships in which we live.

Your charmingly egotistic Chateau lords have insisted for a long time that a major shortcoming of studies attempting to measure male sexual attractiveness is the lack of examining the all-important components of personality and attitude, or what we in the business call charisma, aka game.

Although we are interested in how past selection produced present sexual dimorphisms, we take a behavioral ecological approach, which emphasizes contemporary selection. We take this approach because we expect that, in general, current function will provide insight into past function. However, attractiveness, dominance, and even mating success have likely been at least partly decoupled from reproductive success by features of modern industrial environments such as effective contraception and socially imposed monogamy.

“Only men who have kids are alpha” game haters wept as well. In CH shorthand: The Pill and condom thwart reproduction, but encourage copulation. And which men are doing the bulk of non-marital copulation? Alpha males. (In fact, I’d bet that within marriages alpha males continue to comparatively monopolize the share of copulation events. Chicks dig dominant men, with or without a ring on it.)

As shown for female choice and male contests, the combination of significant positive and negative eigenvalues suggests that the fitness surface for mating success is best described as a multivariate saddle (Fig. 2C). There was also significant positive linear selection on m2 and m3, which favors increased girth and decreased vocal masculinity (m2) and increased height and girth (m3).

There’s a lot of juicy math in this study, so you abstraction pros can hash out the details for make benefit of haters’ anguish.

When mating success was used as the fitness measure and success under female choice (attractiveness) and male contests (dominance) were treated as traits, there was directional selection for dominance, but not attractiveness (Fig. 1, Table 3).

Reread the 16 Commandments of Poon. Most of the Commandments are essentially power laws, instructing men how to act like a more powerful man. It works because, as ♥science♥ is now discovering and in the process catching up to the observations of real world field soldiers, chicks dig dominant men more than anything else. And perhaps chicks have no choice but to dig dominant men!

Although facial and vocal attractiveness (Table E2a) and related eigenvectors (Table E3a: m1, m2) positively linearly predicted success under female choice, they did not predict mating success (Tables E2b, E3b). Again, linear, but not quadratic or correlational, sexual selection on male traits acting through female choice differed from that acting through mating success (see ESM).

What this means is that men’s efforts to get laid matter just as much as, and perhaps more than, women’s choice in matters of male sexual success. So… bust a move, gentlemen! As long as you’re imposing yourself, you can override the female sexual choice imperative.

When mating success was used as the fitness measure and attractiveness, dominance, and sociosexual psychology were treated as traits, there was directional selection for dominance, sociosexuality (Table E8), and an eigenvector onto which dominance and sociosexuality loaded heavily (Table E9: m1), but not attractiveness (Table E8). Dominance and sociosexuality also positively interacted in predicting mating success (Table E8).

Sociosexuality is basically willingness to engage in flings and sexytime outside of committed relationships. So again we see that where high dominance and sociosexuality interact to turn a man into a stone bone lady slaying machine, attractive male looks as perceived by women don’t really do much for a man’s mating success if he’s neither dominant nor highly sociosexual. Dem handsome betaboys are gonna struggle to get the same amount of pussy that uglier badboys with devil-may-care attitudes will pull.

Female choice exerted positive directional selection on height and stabilizing selection on an eigenvector that was heavily weighted by girth. These results corroborate previous research finding that women prefer taller males particularly for short-term mating (Pawlowski & Jasienska, 2005), and that they prefer men of intermediate brawniness (Frederick & Haselton, 2007).

Lifting weights is great, but the biggest benefit comes not from bulking up to the size of a house (which chicks don’t really care about), but from reaping the reward of that wonderful elevated testosterone, the hormone elixir that nourishes the desire to approach and close.

Moreover, both multiple regression analysis and canonical analysis indicated selection under female choice for negative covariance between girth and facial and vocal masculinity, suggesting that the brawnier a man is, the more important it is for him to have a feminine face and voice, and vice versa. Female choice favored more attractive, but not more masculine, faces and voices, and facial attractiveness became more important as height increased.

This is a bit of heartening news for short men. Women will want tall men to have pretty boy faces, but short men can get away with uglier mugs if they have brawnier bodies (and more masculine, if less pretty, faces). There appears to be some kind of competing interplay within women that compels them to find attractive men who, in various ways, balance their masculine traits with feminine traits, leading to counterintuitive results like female choice that favors brawny men with feminine faces and voices, and less physically imposing men with more masculine faces and voices. But…

These results indicate that beyond height, masculine features tend not to make independent positive contributions to success under female choice, suggesting that other factors may have operated in the selection of masculine traits in men.

… female choice doesn’t matter as much as male dominance to men’s mating success, and masculine features aren’t a winning combo by themselves. As the study authors state, masculine traits were favored by evolution for reasons beyond any innate female preference for them.

Given little evidence that men generally deferred to, or that women preferred, men with masculine faces in the present study, perhaps facial masculinity evolved in men not so much as a dominance signal or sexual ornament but because robust facial skeletal structure was protective against facial fractures incurred in physical fights (Puts, 2010).

Veeeery interesting. In related news, Steven Pinker wondered why the world is getting both less violent and more manboob-y.

Overall success under male contests (male acquaintance-rated dominance) predicted mating success, but success under female choice (female acquaintance-rated attractiveness) did not.

In the field, who wins? Answer: men whom other men perceive as dominant. The pretty boys get glowing Facebook likes, but not much real world action if they don’t back it up with a powerful presence.

These results suggest stronger sexual selection through male contests than female choice in the population studied. Much research in evolutionary psychology states or implies the contrary: stronger sexual selection in men through female choice (reviewed in Puts, 2010).

Feminists and assorted butthurt haters who assert that women do all the choosing and solely anoint the male winners in the sexual access sweepstakes are, as per fucking usual, wrong.

At the same time, these results appear incompatible with the apparent autonomy with which Western women choose their mates. One possibility is that female choice determines men’s mating success, but women choose dominant men (i.e., men’s attractiveness and dominance are functionally equivalent). However, women preferred different traits from those favored under male contests, and dominance rather than attractiveness predicted men’s mating success. Another possibility is that women choose from among dominant men—that is, men’s attractiveness and dominance posi- tively interact, so that the influence of attractiveness on mating success increases with increasing dominance. However, in predicting mating success, we observed no statistically significant selection for positive covariance between attractiveness and dominance: in fact, if anything, the correlational selection gradient was negative in sign.

Readers can issue a correction if this interpretation is wrong, but what this study result shows is that dominant men with good looks actually had LOWER mating success than dominant men with rougher looks.

Nevertheless, perhaps women rate men’s sexual attractiveness differently from how they ultimately choose.

Maxim #something or other: Never listen to what a women says she prefers in men; instead, watch what she does.

For example, attractiveness ratings may not adequately capture women’s differential resistance to men’s seduction attempts.

In the future, Chateau Heartiste will devote a number of posts to what we term Monthly Cycle Game. That is, there are two distinct schools of game every man should use: One tailored to women during the one week they’re ovulating and demanding of more dominance signals, and one tailored to women during the three weeks they prefer more signals of attainability and commitment. How will you know when to use each? Stay tuned.

Finally, men’s dominance may limit female choice in subtle ways. For example, in the bars, clubs, parties, and other venues in which sexual affairs are initiated, a dominant man may have little compunction against interfering with the mating attempts of a less dominant man, whereas the reverse would be less likely.

There is also a school of game haters who bleat about how BETA it is for men to actively pursue and woo women. In their warped view, making any sort of seductive effort beyond “JUST BE YOURSELF AND SAY A FRIENDLY HI UNTIL A GIRL TAKES YOU HOME” is the SMV equivalent of crying in public when it rains on your new shoes or begging for sex from land whales. So stupid, it hardly deserves a response, (but here’s one for them: are women losers when they try to improve their mate prospects by wearing make-up and sexy clothes and keeping fit?), but luckily ♥science♥ has stepped in to put the lie to their fantasies of how sex relations work in the real world. And the obvious is made more obvious: When you are the only man out of ten men in a room to approach a cute girl and try to seduce her, you just DOMINATED the nine other men who stood around waiting for traddork-approved female recognition. See how that works, good family men?

Despite the coherence of these results, we note several limitations. First, although we measured what we believe are some of the strongest candidates for sexually selected traits in men, traits that exhibit large sex differences that emerge at sexual maturity and have been implicated in men’s mating competition, we did not assess all possible traits. Among those that we might have included are psychological traits, such as aggression (Archer, 2009) and humor (Miller, 2000).

A scientific study of that nature would be the gold standard in game studies, and the results you can safely bet would lay to rest any lingering doubts about the efficacy of game. We live in a fluid world with a sexual market that responds to attractive male mate cues on a dime, each cue winning and losing all the time in context with competition from other male attractiveness cues. How will the laconic meathead do against the loquacious funnyman? How about the suave smooth-talker versus the caustic frat boy spitting one-liners? The pimp full of promises versus the brooding artist full of torment? Men simply have more options for sexual market victory than do women, who must rely almost entirely on their looks. It’s just a shame that most men don’t realize this and choose the road of dreary corporate paper pushing to get their shot at settling for chubby chicks with vaginas scarred by years of cock pocketing.

Third, the use of hormonal contraception may have affected some female participants’ and raters’ mate preferences (Roberts, Gosling, Carter, & Petrie, 2008) and decoupled male participants’ copulatory patterns from their reproductive success. However, copulatory patterns can predict the reproductive success that would be realized in the absence of effective contraception (Perusse, 1993).

CH has predicted that widely available cheap contraceptives encourages women to sleep with cads more than they would in an environment where non-marital pregnancy was a real and constant threat. However, this encouragement would only be incrementally stronger than the sexual urges that women inherently feel for cads. Copulatory patterns would remain roughly the same between environments of available or absent effective contraceptives, with the former somewhat favoring a higher cad notch count. The reason is that cultural or technological incentives can exert only so much influence on the mating market, since the psychologies of the players originate in the primal limbic system of the brain, which is more resistant to social conditioning.

Fourth, our data on mating success were based on self-report, which may be unreliable. However, we found a highly significantly correlation between self-reported numbers of sex partners and male peers’ assessments of men’s numbers of sex partners.

Dudes know who’s winning the only game that matters.

Fifth, although we measured success under female choice and male contests, sexual selection in men likely involves other mechanisms, such as sperm competition and sexual coercion (Goetz & Shackelford, 2006).

REGRET RAPE!

Finally, we measured men’s mating success by their number of sex partners, but additional variables are clearly relevant to mating success, such as the quality of men’s mates, the number of copulations with each, and mates’ fecundability at the time. Nevertheless, the number of women with whom a man has copulated likely strongly reflects his ability to obtain mating opportunities (Faurie et al., 2004; Hodges- Simeon et al., 2011).

Das true. If you bang nothing but fugs and fatties, your artificially pumped notch count is like a nationally ranked college football team going undefeated against Male Feminist Community Colleges. However, the notch count measure is still fairly predictive of a man’s womanizing skill. The few rare fatty fuckers aside, most (non-black*) guys with big numbers have got the talent to score with some bodacious babes.

*Come on, man, you know the bros love swimming in the bottom of the barrel.

The present study begins to fill significant gaps regarding the mechanisms and forms of sexual selection in men and the relative salience of men’s traits to different mechanisms of sexual selection. We do not, however, consider these questions resolved. Future research should explore additional traits and other measures of mating success in different populations, especially in traditional societies.

Next big study: The neg, and why men who use it have higher mating success than men who talk about the weather and their jobs.

Marriage Down, Ho’s Up

New research examining marital patterns in the Disunited States is out, and it’s not looking good for the nuptial blissers (or for the civilization gatekeepers).

Marriage Rate Lowest in a Century

Fewer women are getting married and they’re waiting longer to tie the knot when they do decide to walk down the aisle. That’s according to a new Family Profile from the National Center for Family and Marriage Research (NCFMR) at Bowling Green State University.

According to “Marriage: More than a Century of Change,” the U.S. marriage rate is 31.1, the lowest it’s been in over a century. That equals roughly 31 marriages per 1,000 married women. Compare that to 1920, when the marriage rate was a staggering 92.3.

Since 1970, the marriage rate has declined by almost 60 percent. “Marriage is no longer compulsory,” said Dr. Susan Brown, co-director of the NCFMR. “It’s just one of an array of options. Increasingly, many couples choose to cohabit and still others prefer to remain single.”

Furthermore, a woman’s average age at first marriage is the highest it’s been in over a century, at nearly 27 years old. “The age at first marriage for women and men is at a historic highpoint and has been increasing at a steady pace,” states Dr. Wendy Manning, co-director of the Center.

Well, that’s one way to avoid the temptation to cheat and deep six your marriage: Get married when you’re older and have fewer sexual market options.

There has also been a dramatic increase in the proportion of women who are separated or divorced. In 1920, less than 1 percent of women held that distinction. Today, that number is 15 percent. “The divorce rate remains high in the U.S., and individuals today are less likely to remarry than they were in the past,” reports Brown.

Welcome to the Eat, Pray, Love iteration of America: E – Eat ourselves to death. P – Pray we still got it. L – Love our cats.

The marriage rate has declined for all racial and ethnic groups, but the greatest decline is among African Americans. Similarly, the education divide in marriage has grown. In the last 50 years there have been only modest changes in the percentage of women married among the college educated and the greatest declines among women without a high school diploma.

It’s ironic that the pointless lib-arts over-education that correlates with women getting married also correlates with them staying childless. Meanwhile, Clevon and Anfernee pop out ten parasites by their single mom weekday flings. What was the whole point of marriage, again? To encourage and sanctify responsible procreation and child-rearing, right? No, no, how silly of me. Times have changed. Marriage is now all about celebrating multiple forms of love, like butthex and cuckold fetishism and, coming soon to a Detroit near you, polygamy.

Was Idiocracy just about the most prescient movie ever made?

None of this depressing news should be any surprise to regular guests of Le Chateau. We were the first to make the connection between the social rot and the Six Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse, and we will be the first to rub it in the faces of the lords of lies when this whole shit show comes perilously close to oozing in on their guarded gated communities.

In silver lining news, casual, no strings attached sex with smart, sassy white chicks has never been easier to get.

…is keeping her away from her fat friends.

I’ve seen it happen too many times, the slender girlfriend of the happy man — attending an endless procession of house parties with an expanding (heh) circle of girl friends slowly but surely piling on the pounds month by month, year by year — suddenly wakes up one morning to notice her muffin top has rolled over and her boyfriend’s eyes have glazed over.

You have one duty ladies… ONE. Stay thin and sexy. And yet so many of you can’t seem to manage that simple fucking thing. We lenient gentlemen of the jury aren’t asking for much. We don’t care if you drive a sports car. We don’t expect you to climb the soul-killing corporate ladder. We don’t give a flying fig if you went to grad school. We don’t inexplicably lose our interest if you happen to get overly affectionate. We don’t burden you with demands for more commitment or drill you for opinions about how our butts look in these jeans. We instead ask for simple things from you, such as a refusal to turn into this:

Men, you can help your lover stay thin by keeping her the hell away from her fat and feminist girl friends. Her fat friends will infect her with their fat disease, through some poorly understood mechanism of orca osmosis, and like fatty fat fatass pockmarked dominoes one after another thin girl will get knocked down, until not a single height-weight proportionate babe is left standing. You think I’m joking? Nope, ♥SCIENCE♥ has found that obesity is socially contagious.

Her feminist friends will infect her with the mind diseases of nonjudgmentalismbeauty equalism and loathing of male desire, all of which are the psy-ops trifecta for brainwashing a girl against her man and turning her into a ham-shaped self-entitlement cartoon.

Relationship management takes work. But men don’t need to make it harder than it needs to be. An easy intervention that will improve relationship health and harmony is staring men in the face. Give your girl the gift of lithe. Cast her BBBFFers to the icy wastelands.

Measures Of Fuckability

Reader “Mr.C” writes,

One measure of Fuckability: How long you are prepared to wait in order to fuck her.

True, but how does one square this with the alpha male imperative to seal the deal in three dates or fewer?

The Three Date Rule isn’t binding. It’s best thought of as a hedge against developing one-itis or getting taken to the Tenth Circle of Blue Ball Hell by a cockteaser, where you drown in a sea of unexpelled sperm.

There are indeed scenarios where an alpha male might wait quite a while (relative to his normal allowance for waiting) to bang a glorious hottie. The crucial difference between an alpha male and a beta male waiting for a girl to put out is that the alpha usually has other irons in the fire and waiting for sex is his prerogative, while the beta has no one else and waiting for sex is his sufferance. And women can sense this differing weight of alpha vs beta male expectation. They sniff it out like dogs picking up wet poop in the air.

Naturally, men will be more inclined to invest their time and energy into a pretty girl than a plain girl. And their investment will rise in accord with reassuring signals of payout. That is, a girl who is making it obvious by her anticipatory behavior that she’s working hard to restrain herself in your company is a girl whose coyness you’d be more willing to accommodate.

So what are some other Measures of Fuckability (MOFs)?

– Amount spent on girl.
– Ratio of eye-to-eye contact to sidelong glances cast at other women walking by.
– Number of hours (or days) before scheduled date that the man thinks about the date.
– Boner triggers. Does smelling her intoxicating ovulatory aroma trigger a boner? High MOF. Does she need to wrap her lips around your schlong to coax a chub? Low MOF.
– Amount of feminist blather man is willing to tolerate.
– Degree of stupidity man is willing to tolerate.
– Rapidity with which man leaves post-coitus. Does he linger past brunch? High MOF. Is he out the door as the last spurt is settling in a flesh nook? Low MOF.
– Inducement to showcase his conquest. Is the man scheming to be seen in public with his lover? High MOF. Is he making excuses to her about having a rare allergy to sunlight *and* moonlight? Low MOF.
– Yes-man to No-man ratio. Being a yes-man = High MOF. Being a no-man = Low MOF. (Game-aware men subvert this tendency.)
– Fap to fuck ratio. If you’re fapping more than fucking your girl, LOW MOF.
– Porn to foreplay ratio. If you’re spending more hours watching porn than engaging in sexy foreplay with your girl, LOW MOF.
– Video gaming to fucking idle thoughts ratio. Extremely low MOF if time spent thinking about vidga gaming is more than time spent thinking about fucking your girl. (Actual time will vary regardless of MOF level, because GUILD WARS.)
– The degree to which an undersexed game hater resents your date for throwing into stark relief the dumpy frumpiness of his wife or girlfriend. More resentment = higher MOF of your date. You lucky dog! Banging a hottie *and* driving an old skooler traddork to histrionics!

Author note: The longest yer humble Chateau proprietor has waited for a bang was five dates, not counting those first tentative steps toward poosy paradise at the tender age of [REDACTED ON ORDER OF CPS] when yer humble pubescent pioneer had nothing but his wits and an untrained, if keen, power of observation to guide him.

Reader “A G” gleefully proposes a psychological torture mechanism to send feminists writhing in paroxysms of hamster-rending pain.

How to destroy a Cathedral feminist’s brain with two simple questions:

1. Doesn’t it suck that racist white people, any time they see a black person walking the streets late at night, automatically fear that person because they think black people are more likely to be thugs?  Obvious manifestation of white privilege.

2. Doesn’t it suck that sexist women, any time they see a man walking the streets late at night, automatically fear that person because they think men are more likely to be rapists?  Obvious manifestation of female privilege.

Inspired by a facebook friend who literally wrote a post stating that white privilege is the reason white people often fear black people.

Masterful bait and switch. They’ll never see it coming.

On a more general note, AG illustrates one attack strategy that is effective against whiny, sophistic leftoids making appeals to empty emotion. The leftoid, as a species within which the feminist is a subspecie, has more of her ego invested in her ideology. It is her religion. This is why when leftoids and non-leftoids get in political arguments, it’s typically the non-leftoid making diplomatic half-apologies and concessions. The non-leftoid does not feel as strong an ego attachment to his ideology, because he assesses his value more broadly. The result of this personality difference is an arena of leftoids constantly on the attack, getting their way like children throwing tantrums under the weary authority of amiable parents.

A mocking shiv jab will hurt the leftoid feminist, but it will also cause her to retreat into a shell of platitudinal self-protection, and to ensconce herself in the group hug of trite-minded allies. Better is to flatter the feminist’s self-conception, and when her guard is down to rain a shivstorm of hell upon her vulnerable id. You can stab all day at the hardened ego, but a single killing blow to the id laid bare will send even the most obnoxious femcunts like Amanjaw Marcuntte slinking to dark bedrooms in silent shame and consideration of alternative life paths.

To defeat the leftoid, use their power against them. Shiv on, shiv off.

Nigel Havers, a British TV actor, has some choice comments about the nature of female sexuality.

TV heart-throb Nigel Havers says women ‘never learn’ when it comes to men – because they cannot stop pursuing ‘cads’. […]

[Havers] finds out that his maternal great-great-grandfather, David Couch, had an illegitimate daughter with a 19-year-old servant girl.

Havers, 61, told the Radio Times: ‘You can’t help but think you’ve inherited some of their qualities. David was a bit of a cad, which is the sort of part I’ve played.

‘I made The Charmer in 1987, which was dangerous for me because I didn’t think viewers would warm to such a ghastly character. And yet the opposite happened. However evil he was, people liked him.

More precisely, men wanted to be him, women wanted him.

‘Throughout history women tend to like cads. They want to mother and change them. It’s exciting, but always ends in tears.

‘They don’t learn, do they? I don’t mean that in a sexist way. Some women prefer a stable life, but others love danger.’

He goes on to say that men love dangerous women, too, but that’s just CYA equalist squid ink, meant to appease feminist shrike censors. Men love hot women, and if they happen to be bitches, well… men won’t turn down a romp in the sack with them, though they will think twice about committing to them, and they certainly won’t rationalize their bitchiness like so many women rationalize the caddishness and assholery of jerks and terrorist bombers.

Women go out of their way to locate, identify and seduce jerks. Men do not go out of their way to locate, identify and seduce bitches. (Men will go out of their way to target sluts, nice or not.) Women love jerks *because* they’re jerks. Men will occasionally love hot bitches *despite* their bitchiness. If you need scientific evidence to corroborate everyone’s personal observation and age-old wisdom, the CH archives are filled with links to relevant studies.

What about the theory that women want to mother and change cads? There is something to this, but it’s not the primary urge that drvies women into the arms of unsavory men. The female love for jerks is, translated, a love for dominant men who, in the state of nature (and equally in the state of modern society), can protect them from invaders and sire sons who will inherit the same badboy pussy-collecting genes.

It’s helical imperatives all the way down.

But women also possess a compulsion to domesticate men who fall within their long-term seductive purview. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective that women would serve their fitness-enhancing interests by cutting the nutsack off their conquests, lest valuable testosterone-y goodness is diverted to the project of further pussy plunder and away from amassing resources for her growing family.

But betas don’t inspire this womanly desire to geld, because betas already come packaged with nuts sold separately. Only cads and d-bags, nuts present and accounted for, send women swooning alternately between depths and heights of ecstatic submissive lust and egocentric lion taming. The lesson for the inveterate womanizer with love in his heart should be clear: Let her change only that about you with which you were already willing to part.

What do you do when what you thought was a sure thing decides to play the game for keeps? A reader bemoans,

I fucked up. HB5.5 in my residency program wanted to fuck during orientation (last year). I brushed it off. However, I didn’t realize that this is fucking SF and the girls here are terrible. Got drunk with some other residents, gave her a call and said I wanted to bang. She’s playing it cool….too cool because I thought I was doing her a favor by throwing her a bone. Not sure if she over wanting the dick or playing hard to get. Cannot think of a respectable way out of this one, especially since word could get out to the rest of the group. In this particular group, reputation and status are extremely important. I don’t really care if I lose face with her.

HB 5.5. This is veering dangerously close to plain jane with stalker potential territory. The truly ugly girls know they don’t have a shot, and don’t bother obsessing over a crumb of attention they know isn’t going to materialize into a full man sandwich. But those girls who are right on the cusp of attractiveness — the 5.5s, for example — they can spin a smattering of alpha male attention into a fantasy world of romantic delusion.

Anyhow, lemme just quickly explain what’s going on this girl’s head. She knows from past experience your interest level isn’t high, and your recent motivation is drink and (probably) a dry spell. But her attraction for you is still strong, so she’s erecting a false bravado (aka female coyness) to ease her anti-slut conscience and maybe allow her the luxury of imagining she can raise your buying temperature by making you chase her a little.

You can play this game and achieve the bang by simply demonstrating some attainability that wasn’t there before, but that means a few dates with a 5.5 that will feel like wasted hours of your life once you’ve Jackson Pollacked her crevice. Also, you’ve got to keep in mind that your drunken pleading for sex lowered your relative value. The fastest way to give a girl hand is to confess in a moment of truth serum-y weakness that you need to get laid with her. So now you’ve got to tango with her like you would with a better looking woman, simply because you constructed a history with her that did your SMV no good.

If you want a way out, bang or no bang, my advice is to stop looking for a way out. Instead, ignore her and take some time off from what sounds like a very insular group to meet out-group women. The best ways out are sometimes found through ways into new women.

******

Reader #2 wishes to entertain us all.

hey  this is a poem i just wrote.

I read your site diligently.

So here it is.  Let me know what you think.

Here are the musings.
Of a sane man.
Argue they-n man
Large oracular, spectacular
vernacular. With back to her.
See me smackin’ her.
Take that from her

I am a cool, guy
Lost not frost. Shocked
we’re not talked.

there once was a lad named heartiste
whose rod was as wide as its reach
the throngs they be mirin
the panties retirin
and the wombs did accede to the breach

– excerpt from “Plato’s Republic”

******

The Rude Word of Game will infiltrate every kind of relationship, as reader #3 testifies,

Hello Heartiste,

I’m a 21 year old male who took the red pill a year ago. Recently, I have started trying to spread the teachings to family and friends who I think would be the most receptive, and have even gotten my (lifelong favorite) uncle on board with smashing the Cathedral.

However, my mother is very different, and I’m not sure what to do about her. She’s a perfect candidate for postmarital spinsterhood. She’s 41. She is fit and healthy, but aging has obviously not benefited her looks. She divorced from my father (her initiation) 6 years ago. She works at an investment firm, in what is essentially human resources. She lives alone in her own house and has it ornamented with typical feminine feel-good kitsch, such as the sign that says “Somewhere someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer.” Yes, it makes me die a little bit inside too.

Based on snippets of her own personal life that she’s told me, I have made the unsurprising inference, considering her post-Wall status, that she finds herself in an unsatisfactory dating situation; all the men she dates are either not attractive to her or, if attractive, they won’t give her the time of day. I understand what is obviously going on but that she isn’t going to see, being steeped in Eat Pray Love go-get-em grrrl culture as she is since her birth. An apt illustration: I saw that she had purchased Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In for her woman’s book club.

As she is my own mother, and despite it being more or less just desserts for divorcing my father (who is, we might say, embarrassingly beta), I am still troubled that she’s floundering in this situation, under the delusion that she stands a good chance of nabbing a man that both cares about her and she finds attractive. It is likely only a matter of time before she happens upon the manosphere (I blog under my own name, and I cover red pill topics) and sees what is to be said about her situation. My questions are these: How can I let her know about her situation? What can I do if/when she finds out, and especially if it occurs through my own writings? What can I expect for how this will change our relationship or my relationship with my family in general?

Call me old-fashioned, but I think referring to your mother and the wall in the same sentence is bad form. I guess that’s the kinder, gentler, thousand points of love Heartiste talking.

Your mother is in desperate straits, and is grasping for ego-assuaging platitudes as is the wont of the weaker, sheltered sex when their fading beauty betrays them to the mercy of an obtrusive, cruel sexual market reality. If she’s reading that vile trash “Lean In”, then she’s too far gone to benefit from the cleansing power of realtalk.

To your pertinent questions:

Are you really going to inform your mother that she’s a sexual has-been who must learn to settle if she ever wants to be with a man again? True or not, I’m guessing you don’t have the psychopathic stones to do that to her. However, CH does! So if she comes across this blog post, perhaps a light bulb will flicker and, allowing for a few weeks of tear-dreanched pillow theatrics and longing stares at pill bottles, will rouse herself to acceptance of inalterable circumstance and tackle with renewed seriousness a search for men who are reasonably within her sphere of SMV synchronization.

Buuuut I wouldn’t hold my breath. Settling is not something that comes easily to women, at any age.

Your mission, should you choose to inject it, is deliberate avoidance of any kind of feelgood pablum that will put a band-aid on your mom’s psychic wounds but leave them festering underneath. Your refusal to console her should be a loud enough message to her that you don’t suffer her unjustified entitlement gladly. If her best interest is really in your heart, use family and friends lifelines to locate and instigate liaisons between your mom and older, beta gentlemen she might reject under her past dating protocol but are in fact good matches for her according to universal laws of romantic compatibility. It sounds like your mom desires a bit of the ol’ funtime badboy, so if you know a man, late 50s to 60ish, with a heart of gold who rides motorcycles and has been in a brawl or two, he might be your winning ticket. Be warned you may have to dip down into the prole classes to find this man, given the effete state of SWPL-class men these days.

******

Email #4 comes from a girly girl,

I love your blog, even though it makes me wince sometimes (I’m a girl—I suppose the truth hurts). You probably don’t bother giving advice to women,

Untrue. A foul calumny!

but I’m compelled to try anyway because the female oriented relationship blogs are so awful.

True. A factual calumny.

I don’t know where else to go. Earlier this year I was involved with this guy from my hometown for a few months. I would see him when I went to visit my parents. He is a very alpha guy and I got attached to him fast. He eventually broke it off saying he didn’t want a LTR.

The three month mark is typically the hour of doom when alpha males uninterested in getting tied down break it off with girls.

When I told him I would likely be moving back to my hometown permanently (for job reasons, not for him)  he said, great.. when you’re back we’ll see where we are. I was a little hurt but I could see where he was coming from.

Aloof asshole off the starboard bow.

We’ve been keeping in touch by text since then, pretty much daily.

How long are his texts? Be honest.

Occasional phone calls. He is a classic alpha texter, infuriatingly short responses, careless spelling and punctuation, randomly drops out of conversations. Seriously, you could put him up on your blog as an example of alpha texting.

I should have read ahead!

Except for one thing– he will initiate if he hasn’t heard from me. I am not a crazy girl text terrorist, and when he goes off radar I’m pretty good at leaving him alone, but I always get the “what’s going on” text from him in a day or two if he hasn’t heard from me.

This is a good sign. He’s thinking about you. Or, less charitably, he doesn’t have another girl in his life to distract him.

He’s not into sexual banter but he likes to tease me about nonsexual things (I’m a klutz, I’m too gullible, etc.).

Cooties game.

He’s told me some surprisingly personal stuff too.

Vulnerability game.

So I am moving back home next week and I just heard (not from him) that he’s seeing someone now. I’m so sad about this.  I am crazy attracted to this guy and I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like we got a little closer through our “text friendship” these last few months.

It’s not stupid. As a human being, you project your sensibilities onto the opposite sex. As a woman, you value emotional connection more than sexual connection. So “text friendships” naturally mean a lot more to you than they do to him. But this deep state knowledge means you no longer have an excuse to persist in your happy delusions. You have to look reality square, and adjust accordingly.

I really like him. I want to start seeing him for real after I move…. and I was hoping he wanted that too. My friends  say he’s already rejected me for a RL and if I want to revive things I have to go no-contact for a while so he misses me.

Your friends are on the right track, even if their reasoning is flawed. Better still, start seeing other men, and make sure it hits the grapevine. This radio silence strategy won’t work as well for you as it would for a man, but it will work a little.

They say I was too available, even if it was by text… this is the classic female-blogger “rules” advice, as you probably know.

It’s not your availability that was the problem; it’s the OTHER WOMAN’s availability that’s the problem.

So I have a couple questions, and I know you’ll give me the truth:  (1) Can I assume he’s still somewhat interested, since he stayed in touch?

Yes, but it’s a threadbare assumption. If the other girl is better looking (tough pill to swallow for you, I know, but you have to face up to this possibility if you want a way forward), then his interest has plummeted because he’s getting what he wants. Not much you can do under that circumstance unless you’re down for a casual sideshow fling, or by some miracle the other girl turns out to be a psycho and he begins to miss your comparatively calming presence. Many men will keep up contact with past flames because they are practicing the age-old tactic of hedging their bets. See: Poon Commandment VII.

(2) Would being aloof and unavailable have ANY effect at all here, particularly if he’s seeing someone?

Probably not, if the looks differential between you and the other woman is significant. If, however, you and the other girl are equally pretty, then a disappearing act punctuated by occasional tacit reminders of your allure might help keep his interest at a slow burn.

Would anything help?

Dress hot when you’re around him. Be seen getting hit on by other men. Get in better shape (if there’s room for improvement). Fire up the rumor mill that you’re seeing someone. Master the feminine art of ambiguity (an art co-opted by male seducers) and curtness in your texts and conversations with him; don’t be nasty, be inscrutable. Be nice, but be taciturn, even business-like. You want him thinking you have options, and that you may be exercising those options, and that his company, while pleasing, doesn’t rock your world like it used to.

This is the best advice I can give you, and I give it with the warning that you shouldn’t expect much. The nature of male and female sexual dynamics precludes the possibility that the advice which works so well for men will work equally well for women. And another warning: Even should the advice “work” — that is, the other girl splits with him and he tumbles into bed with you — know that you will be second-best in his eyes if the other girl inspired harder, longer, thicker boners in him. I hate to get crude with such an earnest woman as yourself, but it’s necessary to illuminate the foundation of muck that supports the dreamy romantic idylls we all have a penchant for building around our egos.

If it matters, you can assume I’m hotter than the girl he’s seeing and that he does have a reputation for being playerish– although he has had several long term relationships.

I will take your word. If this is so, my advice above should work quite well. You may want to signal a little more attainability than what I have implied above, if you are really a better specimen than his current lover. Given his player predilection, he should respond reflexively to girl game that stings his narcissism.

We’re about the same on the attractiveness scale; we both have options.

Is this attractiveness scale a looks-based one? If so, you should understand that men are judged by more criteria than their looks. If he’s a player, he’s charming. And the ladies love a charming rascal. So although you have punched in the numbers and run an algorithm that tells you his looks and your looks roughly match, the romantic reality can be skewed in his favor and to the benefit of raising his value above yours because his charm and mannerism can net him attention from higher value women that his looks alone can’t (at least for any kind of relationship longer than a night).

I know you’re busy and must get a million emails, but any advice or commentary would be really appreciated. Thanks!

One final thought. Some men, particularly those seeking long-term relationships, will settle for women a little less hot than what those men could get, or have historically gotten, in part as a defense mechanism against getting dumped or getting drama, in part because they perceive a slightly less physically intimidating woman a better bet as a loyal partner in long-time love. If this is the operative psychology in your scenario, then he may have, to borrow a well-worn and extremely irritating phrase from platitude-land, “moved on”.

Or: The dude might be in love. Best leave him to his happiness.

Michelle Malkin, a tawny-skinned rep of the right cute enough to inspire a Heartiste half-mast, has an article about the love that girls are showering on Boston Bomber Joker Tsarnaev, and on other assorted badboys and murderers. Note the very eeenteresting title of Malkin’s article:

America’s Sociopath Fetish: Chicks Dig Chechens And Other Killers

I would like to declare a war on women—namely, all those cringe-inducing ninnies who lust after every celebrity criminal defendant with big muscles, tattoos, puppy-dog eyes or Hollywood hair.

You know who I’m talking about, right? America’s Bad Boy groupies. They’re on the courthouse steps with their “Free Jahar” signs, cooing over how “hot” and “cute” the bloodstained Boston Marathon bombing suspect is. He “can blow me up with babies,” one moral reprobate quipped shortly after his capture. “I’m not gonna lie, the second bombing suspect, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, is hot. #sorrynotsorry,” another young girl boasted.

Now where have we seen that “Chicks Dig [Killers]” formulation before? Oh yeah.

I’m beginning to suspect, though the evidence is circumstantial, that some esteemed and popular pundits are regular snoopers of the Chateau. Naturally they will never own up to it, and you can’t blame them. If admitting to being influenced by an all-around decent guy like Steve Sailer gives them the hives, imagine what confessing to being a night visitor of this demonic lair would do for one’s cocktail circuit reputation. The stuff of status manicuring nightmares!

Michelle sounds like she’s losing faith in the sisterhood,

It would be one thing if these morally stunted followers segregated themselves in enclaves outside the American mainstream. But some of these damaged goods end up on juries, entrusted to weigh evidence fairly, digest complex instructions, and render impartial verdicts in matters of life and death. Indeed, they are aggressively sought after by predatory defense lawyers. I’ll never forget the female jurors of the first murder trial of confessed parent-killers Lyle and Erik Menendez. Star-struck by “glamorous” defense lawyer Jill Abramson, the women of the Menendez jury told Los Angeles reporters that “they admired her wardrobe and biting wit.”

Their swooning for the hunky Menendez brothers, whom they praised as “bright” and “nice,” was obscene. After a mistrial was declared, Abramson arranged for “her jurors” to meet the boys. Soon after, talk show queen Sally Jesse Raphael hosted a program on “women who would leave their husbands to marry a Menendez.”

From Menendez mania to Free Jahar, the pathologies persist: Easily led. Emotion-driven. Desperate for male approbation. Prone to acting with their lady parts instead of their lady smarts. Heckuva job, feminism!

The Cruel Word of CH is infiltrating the masses and spreading love like a bear digging for berries twixt Andrew Sullivan’s butt cheeks.

Lesson learned: You can indoctrinate generations of American women in the ways of gender empowerment, but you can’t make a goodly portion of them think straight. Hormones trump basic human decency and good judgment in the crowded coven of sociopaths.

Michelle demonstrates a willingness to grapple with the intractability of female sexual nature. She mocks the ineffectual feebleness of feminism to alter in any significant way the biologically inherent urges of women to crave the cold-blooded cocks of killers. In her mocking is a tacit admission that perhaps, just maybe, giving women the run of the place isn’t working out so well for civilization.

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