A hopelessly lovelorn beta male high school junior hired a pilot to fly a black helicopter over his school’s football field to drop a stuffed animal via parachute with a message attached for the girl he loves. The message asked her to a school dance. (More precisely, his father, (who should have known better), a […]
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Do you want a stone cold alpha male or a buttered scone beta male as your next president (small p to indicate diminution of the office)? If ¡Jabe! Bush is your man, you should know he’s a buttered scone beta to the bone. The evidence for Jabe’s beta maleness, a fate which he so desperately […]
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Paging Matt King… I was all set to write a lengthy exegesis on this topic, when a reader helpfully slapped together a visual meme that says more, and says it better, than any blog essay could. Shiv shivvily shiv shivvily shiv shiv shivoo…. boy I’ve got a juxtaposition for you. On the left, the alpha […]
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Reader peterike says there’s comedy gold buried in the New York Beta Times wedding announcements. I tell ya, if you ever want a collection of punchable Libshit faces, NYTimesvows is the place to go (not a parody account; they all link back to NY Times wedding articles). What a depressing feed. Gays and lesbians all […]
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This is too funny, and made funnier by the fact that it was totally preventable. A do-gooder, bleeding heart, pathologically altruistic, status whoring German SWPL liberal came to help Syrian migrants and for his generosity was rewarded by a pawing, grasping mob of thieves robbing him of his bag of treats. German tries to donate […]
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😆 “sweet and steady” is a shiv in the heart of niceguys. You gotta marvel at how often the extremely anti-feminist sexual market theories of The Wall and Beta Bux are confirmed by blithely unaware liberal news organs. Explanation for new CH readers: The Wall is the point in a woman’s life when she is […]
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Western Europe is fast on its way to cucking itself to hordes of Muslim “””refugees”””. The median age of the populations of the top four countries sending invading saracens across Europe’s borders is 18-23. The median age of the populations of the top four receiving European countries is 40-46. Older, White Europeans are literally importing […]
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We come from the land of the sexless chode, From the bedroom gloom where the sheets are cold. The blueness of our balls will drive our ships to incel, To fap to porn, whining and crying: Platonica, I am coming! -led zeppelin The platonic boyfriend. A fate that feels worse than death for the young […]
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Friend, you ask, “What do women want?” You are confused, and this hobbles your field effectiveness. Listen closely. Chick logic is unfathomable when you are in your teens, but now as a man in your twenties you have no excuse! Challenge . Chicks dig a challenge. Like men dig a bikini bridge . It’s a […]
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This hamsterbation on Jizzebel is a couple years old now but it may have broken an all-time record for number of CH readers who forwarded it requesting a satisfying takedown. All you have to do is read the title to know you are about to enter… The Hamster Zone. (At this point you visualize a […]
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