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Category Archive for 'Marriage Is For Chumps'

Pimp Slap Of The Day

It’s no coincidence that marriage became the shit institution it is today at about the same time weddings turned into ostentatious displays of whorish overconsumption.

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Maybe I should start an ‘Alpha of the Month’ series. Check out this guy : A man who stopped paying alimony payments to his Clay County ex-wife five years ago and moved to Indonesia — out of the reach of law enforcement — was arrested Friday when he returned to town for a wedding. The […]

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A diligent reader emailed me a ‘Beta of the Month’ submission about a guy who fears he may have been cuckolded and who turns to a Washington Post advice columnist for support in his time of need. I read the article and decided that the real value to be gleaned was not in the unearthing […]

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A girl with whom I was having a sexual fling (squirter) once challenged me, while we were out together, to pick up a woman sitting at the bar by herself. I suppose the thought of me seducing another woman turned her on. I’ve dated quite a few slutty freaks like her. Naturally, I obliged. Seducing […]

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I had a conversation with a girl who described how she was trapped in the hell matrix of shopping for a bridesmaid dress. Here is her dispatch from the frontlines. HER: I had to go bridesmaid dress shopping on Saturday. If you thought the baby shower was gayer than gay, you have no idea. ME: […]

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Why is it the biggest engagement rings are always found on the hands of women over 30? Who are these beta schmoes spending a fortune on rings for women with only a few years of primo fuckability left? Discuss.

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Wed Man Walking

Commenter Max from Australia made the following observation about Brad Pitt: Brad Pitt has been totally “pwned” by marriage, he should be the happiest dude in the world, loaded and with great looks. But look at a recent photo, the spark in his eyes has died. In his head the mantra is “get me out […]

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Hope and change is in the air (hat tip: commenter Butters): An adulterous Spanish woman has been ordered to pay €200,000 in “moral damages” for the suffering caused to her husband by her illicit affair. The woman, who had three children by her lover, pretended for years that they were fathered by her husband, according […]

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I’m about to reveal something of myself most of you don’t know. A few years ago, my wife, Marie, and I were at one of those hip downtown restaurants sipping mangotinis and nibbling on injera bread when one of my bosses appeared with his thin trophy wife in tow and patted my shoulder. When I […]

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By the Power of Poon I was able to coax a girl into inadvertently revealing her low quality. Me: [in my best nonjudgemental voice] Sometimes I think people judge us too harshly for the things we do when we are in love. For instance, I’ve had married women fall for me. I didn’t know at […]

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