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Category Archive for 'Guy Rules'

Separate Species

I recently heard this story about two girls, good friends, who were spending time together catching up. They decide to help each other rub on self-tanning lotion (not the spray kind, but the wipe-on kind). So what did they do? Why, they stripped naked of course! Two heterosexual girls sat butt naked together and rubbed […]

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If the eyes are the window to the soul, the smile is the neon vacancy sign outside the motel. I don’t *feel* high maintenance. Girls love to smile, whether it’s justified or not. A broad smile illuminates the face and makes the world notice her. There is probably some Freudian oral delights aspect to it […]

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Where Guys Falter

The best way to do well with women over the long haul is to think like them, understand them, and put yourself in their shoes. The man who can empathize with a woman’s frustrations will know better how to make her happy. All the great seducers of history co-opted to some degree the psychology and […]

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The Pump

“The pump is better than coming in a woman.”* It’s been a long while. Some nagging injuries and laziness have kept me out of the gym (I mean the real gym with plates of iron, not the one you froo froos go to for your spin classes and low impact hiney-toning spazrobics), but I’ve returned. […]

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Dear fruit of my loins, You’re not getting any inheritance. I plan to blow the whole wad on booze, traveling, and Ukrainian hookers. I’m going out with a smile on my face. So prepare for your future. Forget about a college fund. You think I want to sock away a hefty percentage of my take-home […]

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Something flew in my eye

When is it OK for a man to cry? Never. When his dog dies. These are the two historically acceptable answers, but there’s room to open the floor for a couple more as long as certain preconditions are met. First, one tear and one tear only is allowed. Anymore, and the line is crossed into […]

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Toilet Week Flushes On

You know how we guys are – when we get an idea in our heads we focus on it to the exclusion of all other thoughts, clinging like barnacles. Girls don’t understand this tendency because they live in a world where conversations flit around from topic to topic like butterflies in a field of daisies. […]

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The Bachelor Party

Contrary to popular chick belief , bachelor parties are lousy last-hurrah pickup opportunities. Nothing screams “ain’t getting laid tonight” louder than a roomful of bob evans dropping $20s on lapdances from strippers who get paid to flirt and make a guy think he’s Casanova for the time it takes him to slip a buck in […]

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