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Category Archive for 'Fashion'

Cologne On Your Balls

I have found the perfect cologne: Armani Attitude It’s got a manly earthy undertone with a powerful musk oxen finish. I like to spritz a little on my crotch. A man with genitals as regal as mine deserves the finest perfumes. “Did you spray cologne down here?” “Yes.” “Why?” “I think you’ve answered that.” “Well, […]

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At least, not the ones who work as fashion models on the runways of Paris and New York. Check out the weird combination of masculine jawline, flairing nostrils (the better to snort four lines at once), and uberfeminine saucer plate eyes on this chick, model Masha Tyelna. if she made a baby with billy joel […]

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Club Girl Clones

We all know how conformist douchebags can be. I saw a phalanx of them yesterday marching for the nearest bar in identical powder blue oxford shirts, khaki shorts, and ken cole sandals. OK, maybe one guy’s blue shirt was a darker blue than the other guy’s. Girls think that their fashion acumen sets them apart […]

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T-Shirt Contest

A reader suggested I sell game-inspired T-shirts on my blog through an affiliate program with cafepress. I like it. Here are some ideas my reader had: My ideas for the T-shirts would include personal favorite quotes from my posts, like these: Nerd = Fat Woman Hate is as natural as Love Status Is Everything Your […]

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Worst Costume Ever

There has been a recent springtime flurry of activity for my Halloween-themed post “ Best Costume Ever “, so I figured this is a good time to introduce the world to its evil twin, the Worst Costume Ever: The horror…

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Take a look at this “man” (and I use the term loosely): This twee little turd was photographed at the opening of the new Brooklyn Flea market, written about in this New York Times article . The annoyance level of this picture is a 9 on the Prickter scale. There’s so much hideousness to choose […]

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Best Costume Ever

Related: Worst Costume Ever .

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Forget flying cars and interstellar travel, the next big thing to radically transform society will be sexbots. Japanese girlfriend substitutes , lifelike dolls , porn saturation … all signs are pointing toward a technological coalescence of immense implications for relations between the sexes. It’s a horny new world on the horizon of men having sex […]

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An American friend, let’s call him Phil, has discovered the bounties of East European girls. After a lifetime of drama dating compatriots of every known taxonomy, he recently hooked up with a cute Polish chick and, in his words, “there’s no going back”. We had an IM exchange where he explained his revelation: Phil: she […]

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F You Jewelry

When we were teenagers I remember my brother coming home from dental surgery with a plastic container holding his four extracted wisdom teeth, blood and bits of flesh still clinging to the roots. I thought it was so cool. So did he, if his proud grin was any indication. I’m having a wisdom tooth pulled […]

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