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‘Shockingly’ Single Charlize Theron Wants Someone To ‘Grow A Pair’ And Ask Her Out

Somewhat unbelievably the atomic blonde and generally dynamite actress Charlize Theron says her dating life is about as bleak as a “Mad Max” dystopian wasteland.

The Oscar winner revealed she’s had trouble locking down a date of late, and urged potential suitors to “grow a pair and step up” if they’d like a chance with her.

“I’ve been single for 10 years. It’s not a long shot. Somebody just needs to grow a pair and step up,” the actress told “Entertainment Tonight” at CinemaCon in Las Vegas on Thursday. “I’m shockingly available.”

Theron adopted two virtue signal props. Two. As if one enfant nuffin wasn’t enough. She forces the young boy to wear dresses because in her twisted mind she thinks it raises her social status even more if her lil’ fudgeball is boy2girl transitioning. (Note: this is child abuse.)

Theron is very close to hitting the Wall, if she hasn’t already.

She is a single muddy mommy with two adopted tokens she pretends to love.

She dresses the boy like a girl.

She’s a pussyhatter who chopped her hair short, as if she was at war with her inherited beauty, now rapidly disappearing. (A short war that will be ended for her on a timetable sure to be resented by her.)

And she lies to herself and everyone around her when she says stuff like this:

“Once you have children, that’s who you are. There is no way around that. That’s who I am,” she explained back in 2017. “Once I had my kids, the first two years you’re so, you turn into such a mom. Your body almost switches off. It’s like I had no desire to date or anything.”

Charlize, dear, you didn’t have children. You adopted two random babies from the third world. You never gave birth. Your body never sustained life. Your vagina never expelled an infant of your own blood and soul. Your body didn’t “almost switch off” because your body never went through the childbirth process and your kids aren’t your own, which everyone including yourself knows but will never say out loud. You “love” your alien-looking kids marginally more than you love a complete stranger. You “turned into such a mom” only in your head, where your fantastical self-conception demanded that you be the mom which in your heart you don’t really feel you are.

You had no “desire to date” because no man who could meet your standards wanted to date a headcase single mom, so you hamsterly rationalized to yourself that it was your choice to drop out of the dating market.

Naturally, now that your once-hsmv is plummeting through the floor and your increasingly haggard face is made uglier by the swarthlets nipping at your heels, you have trouble finding a worthwhile man who will put up with your mental instability and District 9 home life. And just as naturally, you lash out at men and demean their manhood for not ignoring their own desires to placate your desire, which only adds to the reasons why men don’t want to be within a parsec of you after dropping a perfunctory protein torpedo in your infertile exhaust port.

And that is the truth I hope hurts you badly, because you deserve it.

If you want to know why Theron is so fucked in the head, here’s your reason:

She grew up on her parents’ farm in Benoni, near Johannesburg. On 21 June 1991, Theron’s father, an alcoholic, threatened both teenaged Charlize and her mother while drunk, physically attacking her mother. Theron’s mother then shot and killed him. The shooting was legally adjudged to have been self-defence, and her mother faced no charges.

It always comes back to daddy issues. Beta daddies, alcoholic daddies, violent daddies, weak daddies…..the West is in the midst of a Daddy Crisis, and our traitorous, mentally rekt women are the symptom.

PuffedHo asks,

If she can’t get a date, what does that mean for the rest of us?

The lesson for women is obvious.

Don’t adopt umber props.

Don’t be a single mommy.

Don’t be crazy.

Don’t be dangerously close to your expiration date.

Don’t have a cock count numbering in the hundreds.

Don’t cling to the ridiculously high standards you could afford to have when you were younger, hotter, tighter, and child-free.

Don’t get angry at men for noticing when you break all the above rules.


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