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Did everybody have lunch? Good, because you’re about to have it again! Behold (with a wide-angle lens), a primer on how to have fat sex. You’re about to enter (at orbital velocity) a world of fatties describing their sex lives and the necessary…adjustments….they must make to accommodate their morbid obesity to nature’s most instinctive act. Say hello to Corpulent Clarissa:

If you are uncomfortable talking about bodies or genitalia or fat people doing normal human things, then you should probably watch a different channel. Because we’re going to be talking about that today and lots of days following this.

When you’re unloved and alone, talk is all you’ve got.

So, some of you have seen my last video about fat sex and dating and I kind of just started to skim the surface on that one and I am going to change the format of how we do these videos just a little bit.

Skim the #FatSex surface. Like trying to skip a stone across the Pacific Ocean.

I’m going to answer one question at a time and I’m going to try to be more detailed about each answer. We will see how that goes.

Spare no detail. ISIS recruitment videos don’t offer enough gore to satisfy.

It’s a lot earlier than I usually film videos right now, so the sun is weird, my hair is weird, I feel very weird about this whole thing.

Fat chicks always feel weird when they can’t control 100% of their environment before a public viewing. Human-looking slender beauties don’t have this feeling.

So this is the question that I get the absolute most in my inbox, and it says, “I have a very large, gorgeous belly. Sometimes it gets in the way of certain positions. Do you have any advice for fat accessible sex positions?”

Forklift, crowbar, antiemetics.

I’m 30 and I’ve slept with a lot of people, and you kind of learn these things after sleeping a bunch of people.

The classic fat chick hamsterbrag. Fat women don’t have the slutty sex lives they want the world to believe. There aren’t tons of men, let alone quality men, banging down the fatty’s door for a bedroom romp. However, the fat girl who opens herself (heh) to the right demographic can rack up an impressive and emotionally scarring muhdik count.

First and foremost, all bodies have different abilities and it is essential to communicate those abilities with your partner. It’s just a really good idea to vocalize your limits before or during sex just so that the person or people that you’re having sex with know where your limitations on your body are. These are things that all people need to talk about.

The women with the least amount of experience with real men are also the women whose sex advice would most quickly and assuredly kill the seduction buzz. Could you imagine lawyerly hammering out pre-coitus contract negotiations with a girl about her “limitations” before unhooking her bra and sliding a finger under her panty elastic? Me neither.

This does not just apply to fat people. Some fat people have limitations on what they can do and some don’t.

I’ll guess the fatter the woman, the more limitations. Past some point of metric tonnage, you’d need dynamite and a pile driver before hitting pink fold.

I do yoga

walrusyoga

and I stretch and I do all sorts of stuff, but if my hips are spread for a very long amount of time, they get very sore. So one of the things that I do to help prevent my hips from getting sore, is I use very stabilizing methods.

Rebar?

So if my hips are spread then I like to put a pillow under my knees so that my hips are not bearing the weight of holding my legs up.

Each leg weighing the same as a small Toyota, you can understand why fatties have to spend so much time worrying about load-bearing positions.

Or if I’m on the edge of the bed and my partner is standing here and I am laid on the bed, I will put my feet on a chair or something, on each side of my partner. That way, my feet are bearing some of the weight of my legs and not just my hips.

What did the chairs do to deserve such abuse?

Another really common problem is having some knee issues and having issues putting pressure on your knees.

One of the biggest (heh) quality of life issues that dogs fatties is joint disintegration.

So if you like to ride your partner – whether they have a penis or a strap-on

😂 Rick/The Strapon Within’s secret life of HB harem smashing revealed!

[or] you’re just down to grind it – is to, instead of kneeling down on the person, to actually sit on the person.

Torture that was banned from Guantanamo for excessive cruelty.

You can also have your partner put pillows under their pelvis while you’re riding them to make penetration just a bit easier and to elevate their pelvis so that it is closer to your goodies.

I’m dying here! “After your woefully unsuited normal-sized penis penetrates fifty layers of blubber, you will hit the fat chick’s goodies, which is just a month-old piece of cake (plus plate and fork) that got wedged in the fatty’s vagina when she sat on it.”

This means that if you are somehow getting squished or if your thighs are being pinched somewhere somehow, you are allowed to take a handful of your belly and move it around if you need to.

This is how she found a pot roast, her (traumatized) cat, and that strap-on from last week.

You can also spread your thighs. You can ask your partner to spread your butt.

With the Jaws of Life. PS Jesus spewed.

You can do whatever you want. It is your body. You are allowed to make it as accessible and pleasurable as is physically possible.

Fat chicks are very concerned about accessibility.

If they’ve been dating you or even if they’ve only had one date with you, they know if you have a fat belly before you get naked. So you’re not going to shock them when you lift your belly up a little bit and move it.

Clothing can’t hide the fat chick’s size, but it can hide the gross details of her fatscape, like the rolls, the cottage cheese dimples, the massive underhang crease of her fupa….

So generally, when you do take the time to adjust yourself and make sure that you’re at the right angle or to make sure that nothing’s uncomfortable, your partner gets really excited about it as well.

And it usually feels really, really good for them.

Imagine how desperately horny a man would have to be for fatsex to feel “really, really good”. If he’s at that stage of indiscriminate horniness, car exhausts and poodle rectums would satisfy him.

And the fact of the matter is: No matter what position you are trying, the part of sex that is going to be the most fulfilling and make it feel the best is being able to communicate with your partner about your body.

#FatSex = logistical nightmare that requires hours of planning and coordination.

A year from now, you may be having sex with a totally different person. They might have different genitalia; they’ll almost certainly have different limitations with their body.

“different genitalia”. This is something people with few romantic options say. Cast a wider net and all that.

Fat people can absolutely have super fulfilling, phenomenal sex lives.

The land whale doth blowhole too much.

I think next up on the channel, we are going to talk about sex toys specifically for fat people and fat couples.

Will this talk include wiping implements?

CH Maxim #42: Those who bitch loudest about “consent” are women with few opportunities to give it or men with few opportunities to receive it.

The video of “fatgirlflow” discussing fatsex (if you have an urge to put porky mug to words):

PS Related, these were the recommended Everyday Feminism sharticles linked at the bottom of the FatSex post:

fatsexfriends

Bullies do nothing wrong.

91 Responses to “#FatSex (making the natural unnatural)”

  1. Ces says:

    Gross, gross just simply gross.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Captain Obvious says:

      What’s “gross” to me is the Narcissistic Personality Disorder & the Histrionic Personality Disorder. How many standard deviations is she above average for NPD & HPD in White American Women? Is she anywhere close to the center of the bell curve? This is what we came to expect out of Princess Barbie but now it’s Princess Rosie joining in the fun [eating the entire w3dding cake].

      Liked by 1 person

    • Captain Obvious says:

      [Middle English, large, from Old French gros, from Late Latin grossus, thick. N., sense 2, Middle English grosse, from Old French grosse (douzain), large (dozen), feminine of gros.]

      Like

    • da gbfm zlozozlzlzlzolzoozozo says:

      lzoozlzlzooz

      when da GBFM come over she say, “yah!! Time for fat sex!!!”

      twelve inches long and fat as phuckclzozoozozoz

      lsosta cockas for d alasfdeies!!!

      Like

  2. You think that’s gross? There’s always the broomstick from FPH.

    https://voat.co/v/fatpeoplehate/529028

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Father

    Take me from this world.

    Like

  4. tomjones says:

    Like

  5. fightersword says:

    Glad I didn’t eat lunch yet Ch.

    Always is the girls with the least options who brag the most about getting laid if they ever do (or if they come up with a story they think people will believe). I guess I can’t blame them, I mean if you’re 400 pounds a guy looking at you without puking would be an accomplishment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • cynthia says:

      The men at my office were talking about something related to this last week. We’ve had a rash of intraoffice affairs lately, and the pattern seems to be that it’s the 6 and below girls who are doing it. They were making the observation that it’s never the really hot ones who act like sluts. It’s the ugliest girls who need to slut it up the most, or else they get no male attention at all.

      Like

  6. All of this would have qualified as comedy or insanity just two generations ago. And that includes those “What’s hot right now” ads for Everyday Feminism. What makes this worse is that fat people can and do lose weight.

    Also, why do fat women write and speak in that annoying elementary school teacher-type voice? It’s as if they’re addressing a bunch of 6-year-olds. Who communicates like that? If the fat wasn’t troubling enough, this is.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Captain Obvious says:

      > “that annoying elementary school teacher-type voice?” ——— It’s closely associated with the infantilization of the culture. Yesterday, one of Putin’s field reports caused me to experience a massive epiphany, and I realized that the Frankfurt School had unleashed “Seinfeld” & “Friends” & “Sex and the City” as an all-out assault on adulthood & individuality & free-thinking, knowing d@mned well that if they could infantilize the culture, then they could trap s3xually fertile 20-somethings & 30-somethings in a rigidly doctrinaire aura of adolescent group-think, just like what you had to fight your way through in the Junior High School cafeteria scene. Social Infantilization => Totalitarian Tyranny of Adolescent Group Think.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Days of Broken Arrows says:

        Actually, long before “Seinfeld” or “Friends,” “The Monkees” was the first TV show in which twentysomethings lived in eternal adolescence. It was also the first television program without a father or mother figure.

        The Monkees was based on the Beatles first movie, “A Hard Day’s Night.” While it would be ridiculous to say “The Frankfurt School is behind the Fab Four!” the fact is that a lot of their ideas did go into making the ’60s what it was.

        As Andy Warhol wrote in his 1981 book “Pop-ism:” “1964 was the year kids stopped trying to look like their parents and parents started trying to look like their kids.”

        As much as I love ’60s music and culture, I have to admit that was the decade our society started to crumble.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Captain Obvious says:

        Do you remember a J00llywood meme from the movies, circa the 1980s, involving high school gym class, where there was always a brilliant Skype-ish kid in the locker room, who was being bullied relentlessly & mercilessly by the troglodyte Aryan White boys on the football team? And are you aware of how the Edumakashunal Industrial Complex nowadays is completely obsessed with “bullying” by teenagers? The Frankfurt School thought long and hard about the adolescent propensity for groupthink & bullying, and realized that if (((they))) could get ahead of the curve, and infantilize the culture, and poison the resulting Group-Think with a totalitarian canon of Political Correctness, then (((they))) could trap Boomers/GenXers/GenYers/Millenials in a bullying-enforced suspended animation as marionettes in an adolescent theater of the absurd, purposelessly drifting through their sexually fert!le years while the entire culture & civilization [& demographics] declined and decayed and fell apart all around them – because, on average, adolescents don’t give a flying f*ck about anything at all, other than their own hedonism & narcissism & histrionics.

        Like

      • Captain Obvious says:

        Getting back to Putin’s field report: He was describing a new bar which he & some friends had attempted to sarge their way through, only they encountered a bizarre totalitarian groupthink where 20s- & 30s-ish chicks wouldn’t even talk to them, because Putin & his sarges were seen to be Out-Group, not In-Group. And it gibed perfectly with much of what I’m witnessing here in my own corner of the Gramscian Cocoon of Anti-Reality, where you can’t make any progress with these Universitardery cunts unless you can figure out a way to signal “In-Group” to them, which means that you need the secret Bat Decoder Ring which tells you how to break the code which is being signalled. Social interactions didn’t use to be like this – chicks in their 20s and 30s used to be approachable, they used to be adults, they used to be capable of sizing you up on their own, but because the Frankfurt School infantilized the culture, via their control of the mass media and the edumakashunal industrial complex [all the way through undergrad & grad school], these millenial/GenY edumakated/professional chicks are trapped in a perpetual adolescence of bullying-enforced mass group-think.

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        The Monkees was based on the Beatles first movie, “A Hard Day’s Night.” While it would be ridiculous to say “The Frankfurt School is behind the Fab Four!” the fact is that a lot of their ideas did go into making the ’60s what it was.

        People forget that even the Beatles didn’t break out of the big-fish-in-little-pond club band scene until a Jewish fellow of (ahem) inappropriate sophistication insinuated himself as ‘manager’. “Love Me Do”, “Please Please Me” and “She Loves You” actually flopped during first release, due to lack of distribution.

        Once they got their ‘real record deal’, I Want To Hold Your Hand got pride of place as the first hit of Beatlemania, and the rest is history.

        Like

      • Captain Obvious says:

        I have a very very vague recollection of Monkees re-runs, but I don’t have any memory of the Monkees sitting around on couches [at bars] all day long, doing nothing, and just ribbing each other to death about even the slightest perceived deviance from ruthlessly-enforced Group-Think Normalcy. Come to think of it, I remember the first time I walked into a up-scale bar which had a couch in it [it would have been a few years after the premiere of “Friends”], and thinking that there was something eerily creepy about grown adults going out to an establishment with a liquor license, but then lounging around on a couch as though they at home were in their pajamas. [I was with an HB9 at the time, and we started sipping on cocktails, and one thing led to another, and so I didn’t let it bother me much after that…]

        Liked by 1 person

      • Captain Obvious says:

        Again, very vague memories – many of the adults acted weird & goofy on “Bewitched” & “I Dream of Jeannie” & “Gilligan’s Island” & “Batman” & “The Andy Griffith Show” – but they were still very clearly adults, and the children [like Ron Howard’s Opie] were still very clearly children. Nothing like 30s-ish/40s-ish (((Seinfeld))) & (((Schwimmer))) & (((Sarah Jessica Parker))) just lounging around all day long, whining and whining and whining and whining like friggin 3-year-olds. And ruthlessly humililating their fellow characters for any deviance from Group-Think normalcy.

        Like

      • mendo says:

        In many of those examples you gave, the workplace was a set piece of the show, or at least coworkers were involved. People were working. I Dream Of Jeanie’s main guy was an astronaut. Darren in Bewitched worked for an ad agency. Their jobs were incorporated in some ways into the shows.

        Andy Griffith was the sheriff, keeping law and order and the chuckles flowing.

        Like

    • Captain Obvious says:

      > “those “What’s hot right now” ads for Everyday Feminism” ——— It’s some sort of a Frankfurt School propaganda initiative, possibly associated with Mossad/JIDF/CIA, and likely facilitated by Soros or Phuckerberg or Brin & Page or similar. They are not advertising a profitable business venture in any sense of “profit” as understood by the Goyim.

      Like

    • Diversity Is Good says:

      Also, why do fat women write and speak in that annoying elementary school teacher-type voice? It’s as if they’re addressing a bunch of 6-year-olds. Who communicates like that? If the fat wasn’t troubling enough, this is.

      That’s how they think, emote, act, react. The pattern of speech reflects their mental world, a pretty childish world. It’s part of the “just one more donut” behavior. People reveal a lot about themselves in their speech.

      Like

    • Scoundrel says:

      “Also, why do fat women write and speak in that annoying elementary school teacher-type voice? It’s as if they’re addressing a bunch of 6-year-olds.”

      I think this manner of speaking is in part a byproduct of the effort to appear happy, upbeat and carefree.

      Like

    • Anonymous White Male says:

      “While it would be ridiculous to say “The Frankfurt School is behind the Fab Four!” the fact is that a lot of their ideas did go into making the ’60s what it was.”

      I have also read conspiracy theories that MI5 (or was it 6?) were responsible for the Beatles songs and were used to destabilize Western civilization. This is why the term “conspiracy theory” is used to denigrate anything that the responder doesn’t like. The turd in the punch bowl, so to speak. Oswald didn’t kill Kennedy. Why, because so many people that don’t agree that he did provide such ridiculous theories. By bringing up conspiracy theory, the person using it doesn’t have to deal with the argument. If the Frankfurt School or MI6 did write the Beatles songs, I say let them write everyone’s songs.

      Like

  7. Heinrich says:

    Fat shaming works!

    Like

    • mendo says:

      And today’s degraded society celebrates shat faming!

      Like

    • Heinrich says:

      Celebrating obesity is Cultural Marxism (Promoting ugliness as beauty). Truth will always be the antidote to Cultural Marxism. Calling a fat woman out on her obesity is instantly making her ashamed.

      Like

  8. Greg Eliot says:

    Back in my old ‘hood, there were two fat ladies whose h-u-b-b-i-e-s left them… one of ’em had two kids, the other was morbidly obese.

    BOTH were m-a-r-r-i-e-d again within a year.

    Too much thirst out there for the patriarchy to ever recover… barring a depression or civil war that make the first ones look like minor inconveniences.

    Meanwhile, back at the chateau, the top post remains How To Get A Girl To Send Nudes Of Herself, while Rome continues to burn.

    (((shakin’ mah haid)))

    Like

    • mendo says:

      Ever since you’ve pointed that out, I’m always surprised at how that top post always regains the top spot, even after a recent, “on fire” post will take the #1 slot.

      I see the thirst with my neighbors. Guy’s a young dood, maybe 23-25 and is with (possibly m@rried) some fat girl. Just a spherical blob of nastiness. And, on the other side, some chunky yenta is with another twig of a guy.

      I’m bookended by blubber.

      Now we know why Rick/Strappy is always revealing herself whenever the topic is The Don. She’s got it bad for him.

      Like

    • tteclod says:

      Public shaming should return. I admit I’m not yet to the point where I accost fit (or skinny) men with fat wives, but I have spoken plainly to acquaintances regarding obesity. So far, I’ve saved two women from ignominious obesity.

      Like

      • tomjones says:

        “Public shaming should return”

        If public shaming returns, there will be a YUUUGE increase in white birth rates.

        https://blog.bcaresearch.com/the-coming-baby-boom-in-developed-economies

        Like

      • tteclod says:

        From your link.

        “For example, up until a few decades ago, the correlation between a country’s total fertility rate and the share of women in the labor force was negative. In a sharp break from the past, Chart II-6 shows that this correlation is now positive.”

        I am inclined to disregard the rest of the report based on that insane quote, until I contemplated the possibility that a large number of women are employed for childrearing as substitutes for more gainfully employed mothers.

        Like

  9. Disgusting. Why not just lose the excess weight. People like this are lazy, weak minded losers with no self-discipline. A normal human being will not naturally look like a pig, unless he eats like one.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Heinrich says:

    “Say hello to Corpulent Clarissa”, beautiful alliteration. I love this blog.

    Like

  11. Rob says:

    If he’s at that stage of indiscriminate horn1ness, car exhausts and poodle rektums would satisfy him.

    Like

  12. Mahdi says:

    JEEBUS F—ING CRIKEY, CH! WHY?!?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Diversity Is Good says:

    “Fat acceptance” is just another kind of LARPing. She should include cosplay to hide that slab of lard.

    Like

  14. Jim says:

    Thank God for your commentary mixed in or that would have been painful instead of hilarious.

    But then I started watching the YouTube video you embedded… It reminds me of my job back in high school, when this older guy was talking about a fat girl that worked there and he goes, “Man, how can someone have NOTHING going for them?”

    Like

  15. TipTipTopKek says:

    Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot, then give her thigh a good solid SLAP and ride the wave right on in!

    Like

  16. GregMan says:

    Well that sure took care of MY erection. Quick, I need a picture of Kelly Anne Conway, stat!

    Like

  17. Ironsides says:

    I’ve been trying to think of something witty to post, but the SAN loss was just too high on that one.

    Like

  18. tteclod says:

    I WOULD HAVE SPEWED MY BREAKFAST IF I HADN’T BEEN LAGHING SO HARD. “Move your belly.” AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

    More seriously, young women (high school) should be assigned to read the referenced essay in sex-ed class and discuss the dangers of obesity with an obstetrician.

    As soon as I finish the design task in front of me, I’m going to lift weights.

    Thanks, CH, for the gentle (cattle-)prodding.

    Like

  19. Hackett To Bits says:

    A woman is too fat to enjoy if:
    You can’t reach all the way around her lower rib cage and touch your fingers to your own ribs. She’d have to be wildly pear shaped to be fat and pass that test.

    Too big…

    Like

  20. Sex realism is more important at this juncture than race realism. If flights to Africa are unlikely in the near term, then use black men as bodies in a battle that needs to be fought.

    The impact of “female empowerment” on the family and male economic standing cuts across racial lines.

    Like

  21. Laguna Beach Fogey says:

    Disgusting.

    That was the first Monday post you went with?!

    Thanks dude!

    Like

  22. I have angered the wordpress mod Gods

    Like

  23. Sluggo says:

    My disgust in fat is strong

    Like

  24. Carlos Danger says:

    New Dr. Jim Willie interview. This is part three of three. Start with part one. As always great, great stuff. This one is really good.

    Like

  25. smh says:

    Fat girl’s daughter spotted at a Trump rally:

    Like

  26. elmertjones says:

    It’s like fucking uphill. You have to be in good shape.

    Like

  27. Ayy Bola says:

    The phrase “large gorgeous belly” triggers me pretty hard in this context. The only time a woman’s belly is large and gorgeous is when it’s swollen with your child.

    Ps I think there should be another category for obesity above “morbid”. Even at the height of my own fatness I was never as round as these individuals. Maybe not being able to have sex like a normal person should tip you off to stop eating Twinkies?

    Like

  28. jeangray07 says:

    “Or if I’m on the edge of the bed and my partner is standing here and I am laid on the bed, I will put my feet on a chair or something, on each side of my partner. That way, my feet are bearing some of the weight of my legs and not just my hips.”

    Half of what she suggests sounds like it’s just theory and she never actually tried it. If her feet are propped up on a chair, her partner is basically pinned between her monstrous thighs with little to no room for movement. Also, how romantic, right?

    This is quite possibly the most disgusting thing ever posted on this site. That includes the picture of the psycho who got a crying anime child tattooed on her vagina.

    Like

    • Hackett To Bits says:

      Fat sex…oh god, no…no!…

      Like

    • Oleaginous Outrager says:

      She seems to talk a lot about her “hips” without understanding what they really are. I mean, how the fuck do you “spread your hips”? Perhaps her hugeness has some basis in her rather unclear grip on basic human anatomy and physiology.

      Like

  29. bolg says:

    bring da flour!

    Like

  30. Carlos Danger says:

    Like

  31. robpaxton says:

    I actually ate a container of cottage cheese while I read this post. But I had to because i just finished LIFTING!

    Like

  32. Scoundrel says:

    “If my hips are spread for a very long amount of time, they get very sore. . . So if my hips are spread then I like to put a pillow under my knees . . .”

    As far as I know, human hips do not “spread.” Is she confusing her hips with her legs/thighs? Or is she really that disconnected from reality?

    Like

  33. bolg says:

    “… This means that if you are somehow getting squished or if your thighs are being pinched somewhere somehow, you are allowed to take a handful of your belly and move it around if you need to…”

    How do you unremember stuff? I’m serious.

    Like

  34. It’s strange to think that not long ago, fatties would have been an almost mythical creature because so few had the resources (or processed soy diets) to create these monstrosities. Fatties are unusual enough in antiquity to merit God status, think the venus figurines and Buddha.

    Like

  35. Front toward enemy says:

    Reminds me of. …..like a blow job from a fat girl…….eh, meh

    Like

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