This post is also available in: Deutsch
We’ve got some real wieners featured in this edition of Beta of the Month.
BOTM Candidate #1: #excepthesnot anything but an emotional tampon for this chick.
This thinly-veiled sneer directed at lovable but unfuckable beta males is a mini-trend among women. It’s become a cottage industry for girls to preemptively mock-upgrade sexually malnourished male friends to “””boyfriend””” status who have gotten a little too “uppity” — i.e., romantically earnest — as a message meant to helpfully remind the beta orbiter to know his place.
It’s quite wantonly cruel in the execution, although women will never see it that way, to tantalize a niceguy with mock enactment of his lifelong hope fulfilled, and then to rip it away from him with that perfunctory “not really”.
So why is he in the BOTM running? He allows himself to be photographed, and thus used, by this girl for sadistic giggles and “proof of irresistibility”. A girl loves to let the world know how many men are chasing her, but she doesn’t want the impression to go too far and god forbid implicate her vagina in the pawings and thrustings of a sex-starved beta. That might put off any alpha males in her social vicinity. So she simultaneously advertises her coterie of eunuch flatterers while assuring available alphas that the eunuchs aren’t getting within a country mile of her vaj.
BOTM Candidate #2: eDoorMat mixes it up with a slutty cocktease, comes out of it the worse for wear.
A police dog bit a constable’s bottom as they raided the home of a spurned lover accused of using a gun to get back at his former eHarmony partner.
Evidence of the unfortunate incident emerged in the trial of Drew Francis Thompson, 28, who is accused of arming himself with a gun, hiding in his former lover’s apartment, and unlawfully confining her for three hours.
Thompson began giving evidence on Thursday afternoon, saying the woman changed when she came back from an overseas internship with the World Health Organisation.
He still wanted to be with her and met her at Dickson shops, where she spoke harshly to him.
Thompson said she called him “simple” and a “door mat”, who she had used as a dating experiment.
“She said there’d be no chance of it happening again,” he said.
We have a classic EatPraySlut “the mandingo ate my pussy” woman, toying with a desperate beta male for ego thrills. And on top of it probably lying about the break-in with a weapon that the beta is accused of committing.
The woman agreed she had offered Thompson chocolates and lollies while he was in the home, allowed him to put his hand on her hand and leg, and was concerned about being a good hostess.
Cockteases would have no power if the men they torment didn’t allow themselves to be so blatantly manipulated. But that’s the nature of the beta male, and that’s the kind of low SMV male that women who crow about their immense sexual power are notching their empty victories over.
Another link is even more revealing of the protagonist’s betatude.
When she returned from her holiday she met Thompson at Dickson shops for coffee.
There they had an argument that ended with her yelling at him.
At the time he asked if they could ever get back together.
He allegedly said: “I made the changes you did not like about me, I am very different now”.
The universal, and universally self-defeating, lament of the pussy polishing beta male: “I tried to make myself a better man for this girl!”
What the beta male never gets: women don’t want your appeasement or your sacrifices. They want to APPEASE YOU. A woman chasing a man, trying hard to win his attention, is a woman in love.
The woman today admitted she had been cruel to him and had humiliated him by laughing, when he asked if they could be together.
Still, even after that unmistakable humiliation, I bet he’ll spend countless sleepless nights searching vainly for a crumb of evidence of her secret romantic interest in him which he can spin into a wild fantasy of enduring love.
BOTM Candidate #3: ¡Jabe! Bush.
My life changed forever when I was a young man on an exchange program in León Guanajuato, Mexico. Across a plaza, I saw a girl. She spoke little English, and my Spanish was a work in progress. But for me, it was love at first sight.
Some people don’t think that’s a real thing—but I know. I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t eat; I lost 20 pounds. From the moment I got to know her, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
¡Jabe! urges you to read more about him, and you do, to your great regret.
It took some convincing, but she came around, and in February 1974, we got married at the Newman Catholic Center at my alma mater, the University of Texas. In the years ahead, whether I was changing baby diapers in Caracas, Venezuela, building a business in Miami or leading a state in Tallahassee, Columba has been with me, my best friend in all of life’s challenges and joys
The leader of the free world ought to have experience changing diapers. Maybe his own, given the track record of cuckservatives.
Obviously, this is a gauche attempt to shore up the soccer mom vote, but really no woman who isn’t already in the GOP column is going to be moved by this transparent slavishness to the Fundamental Premise.
It’s one thing to have experienced oneitis — most men will have at least one memorable episode of oneitis in their lives — but it’s quite another to frame it, hang it on the internet wall, and with oddly placed pride ask 300 million Americans to know you first and foremost as the game-less beta who lost 20 pounds over a rock troll mamacita who couldn’t speak English. ¡Beta!
BOTM Candidate #4: Flavortown smells a lot like pork and smegma.
Going down on a fatty because you can’t do better isn’t enough to qualify you for inclusion in the Beta Male of the Month contest. But going down on a fatty and proudly broadcasting your lack of taste and low sexual market value to the world vaults you into the rarefied company of BOTM nominees.
Flavortown, meet Betatown. No one’s idea of a fun getaway.