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In a complete inversion of conventional wisdom, it’s men who should be playing hard to get if they want to attract the opposite sex.
Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.
A study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds that a woman is more attracted to a man when she is uncertain about how much he likes her.
“Numerous popular books advise people not to display their affections too openly to a potential romantic partner and to instead appear choosy and selective,” the authors write. Women in this study made their decisions based on very little information on the men — but in a situation not unlike meeting someone on aninternet dating site, which is common these days. “When people first meet, it may be that popular dating advice is correct: Keeping people in the dark about how much we like them will increase how much they think about us and will pique their interest.”
The subject matter of this study has been discussed at the Chateau before, in this post. It perfectly validates much of what is written here, particularly the posts dealing with instilling dread in your lover to build a healthy relationship. The fact is that women, much more so than men, get turned on by inscrutable suitors. Women love love love men who keep them guessing. That hamster isn’t gonna spin by itself, you know. Inscrutable men are likely hitting women’s “pre-selection” and “sexy son” limbic buttons.
Suck-up credentialist therapists and marriage counselors hate these kinds of studies (and, by extension, real-world truth tellers such as yer ‘umble narrator) because it puts the lie to everything they know and believe. How would you feel if the meaning of your very existence was revealed for the shabby mountain of platitudinal shit it is?
I suspect some readers get the impression that the science guides my behavior. But that is not the case. I’ve spent my life experiencing women, observing women, learning about women and loving women. That is how I came to understand them. The science merely serves as a confirmation of what I can see with my eyes. But I like to post these studies because I know it gets under the skin of the haters. I can practically see their blood boiling and steam coming out of their ears.
It is an exquisite pleasure to reflect upon your enemies’ torment.