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What happens when unmarried women chase down noncommittal cads, get knocked up by them, give birth to illegitimate bastards, and then languish in despair as they quickly notice their material well-being, love life, and dating market value deteriorating immensely as single moms? They have mental breakdowns!

This post brought to you by the Committee of Helpful Reminders that a national 41% illegitimacy rate is bad news for modern civilization.

PS The Committee for Proven Solutions as Opposed to Feel-Good Solutions offers the following four-point plan for ending bastardy and reckless single momhood:

1. Shame

2. Ostracization

3. Elimination of all state-sponsored financial support, including but not limited to food stamps and mandated maternity leave.

4. Condoms

In this Christmas season, we should all be so fucking humanitarian as the spirit of this post.

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