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Chicks Dig Jerks: A Series

This post is also available in: German

Some men and most women are so afraid of facing the truth about the gina tingle that even when the evidence is slapping them in the face you will hear them say things like “Oh, women don’t *really* want assholes. They want niceguys who are confident and strong.”

Weasel words. Exhibit A: Love letters from women to death row inmates. Let’s take a latesummer’s jaunt through some of these declarations of undying love for men who have stabbed, shot, strangled, raped, disemboweled, chopped up, tortured, violated in sundry horrific ways, and otherwise demonstrated many qualities of the “confident and strong” man with their unfortunate victims.

It happened to me and I am considered the most level headed person going (apparently) and then people decided I lost my mind! But I wouldn’t swap my man for the world. Sometimes you just have to take a chance! What have you got to lose? I doubted my feelings at first, I just figured it would be another complication for him, and for me. But now, we are as happy as can be. You could find love on the outside, but would you be any better off? Any man can betray a woman and vice versa, but it the love you find is real, it will stand everything that lies ahead. I know my guy could be there for the next got knows how many years, before/if execution comes. But I will be with him all the way, and I will be there if/when he dies. Grab any happiness you can. I was married for several years, and my husband turned out to be a pretty useless liar – he got caught! But with my guy, I have found a person who is so completely on my level, I never thought I could find this, but I did and I am always by his side! Just be careful, some are charmers, some are just looking for kicks, but some are genuine and need loving. If you don’t have experience of death row apart from this guy, then just heed that warning. I have been involved with D[eath]R[ow] for a good 10 years, and I have learned alot, both good and bad. But if you really feel it is right, then just go for it and enjoy it:thumbsup:


It took months, for me to find to the word for what I had been feeling since only a few weeks after I began to write a death row inmate. I only told him yesterday; the word that had escaped me was intimacy. Not intimate as in physical touch or sex, but truly intimate. The two of us almost seem to live within eachother. We know eachother in a way noone else has ever known either of us. He says that I scare the hell out of him, because it is as if I can see through to his soul. I feel the same with him, he knows and understands all.


To the love of my life, my baby and husband forever, my Randy…love you baby, always ‘n’ ever, Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah!!! Can’t wait ’til he’s home with me one day…and we can have our beautiful babies together. [Editor: Great, just what society needs.] Merry Christmas to all you ladies also, all of us who have this bond because of where our men are :(, Lou, Kyla, Babealicious, rosita, and Kris…I am praying for us all and for our men, that they all know how much we love them and that they will all be off the row one day and home with us, where they belong. 🙂 Love ya’ll. Happy Holidays.

Someone on the forum asked what everyone’s loved one did to get on death row. This is how one woman answered:

Capital murder is the only thing someone can be sentenced to death for. My husband was only an accomplice, he didn’t commit the crime he was so unjustly sentenced for. I however do not feel like anyone should ask that question in the “loving a death row inmate” forum, but that is just my opinion.

Yes, best to ignore that 800 pound bloodthirsty monster in the room. I’d imagine women who love death row inmates are exceptionally skilled at rationalizing away unpleasant realities. A common theme among the letters is how many women protest their lovers are innocent, and how wrong it is of the state to “kill people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong?????:angry:” [actual forum comment].

More love notes for killer blokes:

Wow… I came into here cuz I wondered how women of lifers are like? Now I know. They’re full of compassion and patience enough to share with everyone here and over there and with their men. It’s amazing how some of you stand by your man and not have a divorce within first 5 years of incarceration. Amazing! I could just cry by just thinking how you endure that! Wow… Also, it seems like intimate loved ones of livers could tolerate celibacy. How? Wow… I just KNEW that love DOES exist without the necessity of sex, I just wanted to see the words of those women with my own eyes. Now I know that type of love does exist… unconditionally. 🙂 God B-L-E-S-S all of you special people! Smile. And I cried the another day several months ago…

Women would rather endure years of celibacy and separation in the faint hope that their death row lovers will be released, than go on a date with a law-abiding beta in the outside world.

I got my first letter from my new friend on DR…I have to admit I was a little timid but when I read his first letter all those feelings went away..He is so nice, friendly, and really warm. He was so happy to get my letter…I must say that I am really looking forward to getting to know him.

A lot of death row love affairs start with the woman writing a letter to one of the inmates. Why do so many women feel compelled to write tender, inquisitive heartfelt notes to killers in prison instead of writing to Nathaniel Schnerdling the accountant who lives across the street? After reading my blog, you now know the answer.

Well…I am not sure what to say or how to say it…I guess I’m just feeling really overwhelmed…and I’m afraid this is something he can’t help me with…he doesn’t know how things feel from my side…I’m hoping that someone can give me some words of wisdom…

Here is a man on death row…that I am head over heels for…and things get more and more intense with each letter and now phone calls…He told me last night that I was his everything. Which means so much more than saying “i love you”…and I am losing it…

Since the beginning he told me that he appreciated me because I had these two worlds My world and Our world…in our world I am his and he is mine…and in my world I go about my day to day life…studying, dating, going out, etc…and I used to be so good at seperating the two…the problem is the closer we get the more time I want to spend in “our” world…not that I am going out less or that school is suffering….more that I have no interest in anyone else…

A well-known game tactic is the “Our World” routine, where you build rapport with a woman by describing how there are two worlds, the outside world where the girl interacts with her humdrum daily life of work, school, friends, etc., and “our world” where both of you share a secret bond and the rules of society don’t apply. It would seem natural born killers are also natural born seducers.

I Can’t Say How I Met Him
We Grew Up Together.
I Can’t Say When I Loved Him
It Just Always Has Been.
Ican’t Say What Happened
To Put Him Where He Is.
I Only Know I Love Him,
Simply Because He Is.
He Is My Best Friend
The Reason Why I Smile.
He Is The One I Love
And Have For Quite Awhile.
No, He Isn’t Perfect…
I’m Not Asking Him To Be.
He Is Simply On Death Row
And Means The World To Me.

Somewhere in America, a girl just received a poem from an idealistic young beta and shared it with her girlfriends for laughs.

I just had to share this with all my friends at PTO. I have a very dear friend on Polunsky Unit, in Texas, and I just recieved the most amazing package from him I have ever seen. I am going to try and get a picture of this artwork to put up.

To any people that see these men as monsters, I just wish that you could feel and see what I am feeling and seeing today. It cost him over $30 to send this package to Australia.

It is a beautiful picture of Indian art, past present and future, and I am one that loves Indian artwork, but I have never seen so much detail and beauty in this.

The other is a painting he did of some roses, and the details are perfect with that painting as well. He painted and sketched them for me :). It isnt normal paper either, its proper artwork stuff. (his level one).

I am just so excited I had to share. I feel the luckiest person alive today, having such a dear friend in my life, that took time out to show how much he appreciates me as a friend.

These men aren’t monsters. Look, he painted roses on higher quality paper!

I have a question (no Im not getting married), I was just curious. When you marry a man on death row, that is already there, and the visits are non contact, do they give you time to be together, so you can at least touch, like a hug and a kiss. Its just something I have always been curious about.

I wonder if Half Sigma would consider death row weddings prole?

Charles made me a beautiful home made card with a neclace on a rope with a little tube of his hair in it. 🙂 It was just so nice to have something thats a part of him, It just made my day. he said i cant send him my hair, doesnt seem fair:(


I just got my phone bill in!! My guy was moved from Polunsky to county, and of course it is GREAT cause he has phone access, DAILY, not the every 90 days to call me. The calls are $52 a call 😮 He is so worth it though, but I could of flown over there and visited him in county by the time these calls all hit my bill.

What love does to us all 🙂 He is so worth it though 😀 Now he will be on a limit, cause I will have to prepay the calls. 🙁 On the other hand though, I should enjoy it, because he will be back to every 90 days again after he is done in county. Ummm, but then I will be broke. :rolleyes:
Its so hard to say I cant accept (I wouldnt do that anyway). Just to hear his voice on the other end for 15 minutes, going HEY SWEETIE!! 🙂

Women will go broke for the men they love. Remember that the next time you’re tempted to buy a girl a drink.

Well I haven’t had a phone call in a couple days, no mail either… then today I get his letter that he’s in the hole. :angry: Sometimes this is so frustrating. As if we aren’t limited enough already, now we are limited even more. I haven’t been able to talk to him this week so I don’t even know the reason behind it. From what I hear they are on it right now, sending guys to the hole left & right. He has no food (except their daily meals) they took all his personal things and it will be 2 weeks before he gets it back… so in the mean time he is staring at the walls, hungry, and going crazy… which makes me crazy knowing he’s crazy… does the maddness ever stop???



I never, ever would have imagined that I’d fall so deeply in love with him when I first began corresponding with him. But now that it’s happened, I cannot deny it. I have come to love him deeply over the past few months and he feels the same about me. Our souls are intertwined. I want to freely love this man and give him my heart. Yet, at the same time I am scared that I will hurt him down the line. I’m scared that I won’t be able to give him what he needs. I’m scared that I’m just not strong enough to do this. I question why I would fall in love with someone that I will never be able to share my life with in a conventional way, someone that I will never be able to fall asleep with, come home to at the end of the day, or even kiss.

How sweet!

I have been writing a DR inmate for a significant period and really felt we had a deep bond, a sincere and close friendship. Recently our dynamic evolved from platonic to flirtatious. We both acknowledged this and mutually confirmed to each other that there may be something special developing between us. He wanted us to become closer yet I was very conflicted about whether to explore it or not as I have never been involved with a man who is incarcerated so I have infinite issues with this which are intensified by him being on DR.

The ultimate fear was obviously the possibility that he may be executed and the unbearable agony of watching my lover die like that. Did I want to allow myself to fall in love with him knowing this could be our tragic fate?

The woman who wrote the above (which I excerpted from a longer posting) sounded of well above average intelligence.

today i found his updated ad in VOICES FROM INSIDE ,I am very sad because some months ago he told me that he did not have any ad online .im agree that he can write other pen pals .the only think ,i can not accept, is that he lied to me 🙁 i have supported him in anyway i could but now i dont know how to behave:confused:

A death row inmate lied to you? Shocked, I am!

I just want to say that I have been “lurking” here for awhile. I am so excited to have found this site. When I am reading the posts here, I finally felt normal. I am very much in love with a man on death row. I have explained this situation repeatedly to my friends and family. Some of them have suggested that I have lost my mind. I am 28 years old and have a very good job. I am attractive and lead a very stable life. I have several non romantic pen pals on death row but then I met him. I have found my perfect match in every way. We have more in common than most people would believe. My friends have pointed out all that I would be giving up. BUT I already have a beautiful nine year old daughter and due to my career I was never planning to have anymore children so in that respect I am not missing out. I would much rather be with the correct person in a tough situation than with the wrong person in a comfortable situation. I may only be 28 years old but trust me when I say that I have faced more challenges than some people will face in a lifetime. I have found the person that I love and while it’s only been about six months, it feels like so much longer. I know that this relationship will be tough but he is able to call me each time he comes out of his cell, the calls are not collect as they are able to use phone cards and we write every single day. I am so in love with this man. Hearing the joy in his voice when we talk is so wonderful. He makes me feel very special and for once I know that someone is not with me because I am “hot”. He sees my heart and in return I see his. Sorry this is very long but I just wanted to say thank you for posting on this site and giving me a sense of acceptance in a world full of extremely judgemental individuals.

Doubters and feminists will claim that only low class, ugly women would fall for killer men. Oh, really?

This “Loving a Death Row Inmate” forum is ripe for righteous trollery. I’d log in under a female pseudonym (something similarly cutesy as the other female forum members, like “unicorngirlrainbowflyer”) and talk about how my lover wanted me to join him in slowly torturing and killing a teenage virgin, and then eating the victim’s heart together to seal our pact of eternal love, and how the thought makes me cry and orgasm like I’ve never orgasmed with any other man. I wonder how many sympathetic ears I would get?

Reader Arpagus wrote in response to the Death Row Lovers forum:

I have never seen so passionate declarations of love. Wish I could be loved like that. Being on death row obviously trumps everything else you could ever imagine would attract women. What we call game is nothing compared to this.

Even where there is no death penalty, killers are on the top of the food chain. There is a trial here now against a man for killing three people, including a pregnant woman. He got a female guard to enter a personal ad for him, resulting in 84 replies. 16 were already married and 30 sent nude pictures of themselves. Some were journalists, yes, but he he has more than enough real loving pussy left to live happily ever after.

Scott Peterson was on death row barely an hour when he received his first marriage proposal from a female fan. Do all women love convicted killers? No, but the sheer volume and intensity of sexual attention lavished on death row inmates tells us something very valuable about the deepest, sincerest desires of the female heart. And that something is quite discomfiting, indeed.

Whle Smart Sassy Susie the DC Lawyer Chick may balk at the idea that she would ever tingle in the gina for a death row inmate, the truth is that she is not so far removed from the women who do fall in love with killers. Her separation from those other women is a separation of degree, not kind. For every woman who writes love poems to cold-blooded killers, there are one hundred women whose hearts beat fast for an asshole who cheats, a jerk who lies, or an alpha who dominates.

The id monster holds dominion over us all, now and evermore.


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