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Programming Notes

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– July 2009 was the biggest month here at Chateau Heartiste. There were 473,908 views of exquisitely beautiful O chained to an iron pillar with her ballroom gown hiked up, getting whipped on her blushing naked buttocks with a riding crop by a masked man. O savored every lashing.

– Recently the blog passed 100,000 comments. 99,999 of those comments were cringeworthy online flirtations leading to blue balls. The 100,000th comment was left by Firepower, responding to Gunslinger, in my ‘What Is A Natural?’ post:


Whiskey bro you need to start carrying around a severed head

dewd – quit stealing
all my moves

Yes, I know. Don’t all gasp with astonishment at the profundity of comment #100,000. It is auspicious in ways your feeble beta brains cannot begin to comprehend.

– I was going to write a separate post announcing the winners of the ‘Test Of Your Negs’ post, but after skimming through the comments I got depressed. The answers most of you gave were horrible. You’d have been better off asking them where they went to school. Hint: Calling a girl fat, or implying she’s fat, is not a neg. Despite the hundreds of shitty attempts, I managed to find a few gems.


Taking pictures for girls is always an easy way to jump into conversation. This is one way I might handle this situation (Let’s assume the girl to the right is the target):

girls: Hey, can you take a picture of us?
me: yea sure…(take the camera) Okay, on the count of 5!

Count off until 5, take a picture….but completely cut out the girl in the yellow. Hand the camera back as you normally would, and they will check the picture as always.

If I were to “defuse this d-bag” it would just be out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t think it would be necessary, but I’d probably just say something for the sake of conversation. “so how did you end up getting dragged out with all of these girls?” then he’d tell me they either all went to school together, or that he is meeting the girl in the red for the first time off of a craigslist ad, but she doesn’t seem that interested…so I could gain a little knowledge about the group.

girl in yellow: “Hey, you cut me out of the picture!”
me: “what? yea I know…I didn’t think you wanted to be in it…” (strait faced)
girl in yellow: ??? (she is confused)
me: “I just assumed that since you didn’t do you hair or anything that you didn’t want to be in the picture ” (now you can start smiling at her)

me: “If a girl can pull it off…I usually prefer a girl with messy hair anyways”

You can keep her wondering if you have the opinion that she can pull it off or not…she will probably ask…just smile, don’t answer and have her buy you a drink.

Actually, just cutting the girl out of the photo is enough of a neg right there. I’d hand it back and “Oh, how about that. You got cut out.”


To the guy: “Hey man you can’t let these aggressive girls squeeze you out of the photo like that.”

To the girls: “Couldn’t you guys make a little more space for your guy friend here? He looks all sad and lonely and shit. Like someone just told him his little kitten died.”

Guy is done. Will be even better if he says something like “But uhhh I don’t have a kitten.”

I would go for the girl on the far right. She doesn’t seem to need a neg but if it was necessary: “Very cool necklace where did you get it from? I saw some many like it being sold in this market for 3,000 pesos. That comes out to a dollar fifty in american money. Cool though, anyway.”

If she likes my vibe she’ll ask “which market” and then it’s clear sailing until I get cockblocked by the asian.


i’d go after the asian chick:

“oh, sorry, let’s take another, your eyes were closed”

This is NOT a good neg. However, it is very funny.


“It’s so nice to meet some girls who don’t feel the need to dress up to go out and have fun.”

So close. Take the edge off it a bit with this rewording: “It’s so cool to meet girls who are confident enough to go out without getting overdressed.”

Cannon’s Canon:

Being asked to take a group photo is like winning a free set. First, I turn the camera and take a photo of myself. Then, I ask the group what emotion they are going for. I’ve drawn this out into a whole photo shoot routine, where I suggested contrasting emotions to do some push-pull and described some scenarios to do a little role-playing.

This is more of a routine than a neg. If you have a fertile imagination you can really run with this idea.

el chief:

My target for sex would be the brunette on the left. Blondie has nice tits, but I think the one in red is prettier.

I’d neg the group as a whole by accusing them of being bridge and tunnel crew. In Vancouver, there is a shitty white trash suburb called Maple Ridge (”Maple Ditch”), and I’d ask them how they’re going to get home there if they’re drinking all night.

Blondie gets negged for being too rosy cheeked. I’d ask her if she’s part Asian (they get red when they drink), and accuse her of being a lush.

Asian girl gets accused of being a banana (yellow on the outside but white on the inside), for hanging with “gwai-los” (white ppl). I would ask her if she’s blondie’s half sister.

I’d ask Mexican girl if she rode her bike to the bar [cuz she looks like a hippie]

Red shirt, I would neg her by ignoring her for a while, and chatting up everyone else. Later, I would compliment her on her sweater, and how my boss has the exact same one. That’s JC Penney right?

I would not attack dude right away. Try to make friends with him, and get his ok to be in the group. Then, slowly grind him down. Question him on why he’s out with these girls when they obviously don’t want to bang him. Goad him into hitting on other girls in the bar.

In the future, I’m just going to hand over the comments section for all game related posts to Roosh and el chief.

Also, to the commenter who ranked the girls in the picture as 1s, 0s and 4s, you are a raving basement nerd who would probably jizz in his pants if one of those girls talked to you. If those girls are 1s, then 99% of the world’s women are 1s. Get a grip.


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