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Google is introducing software for cell phones that allows people, through a complicated system of rope and pulleys, to track each other.

“What Google Latitude does is allow you to share that location with friends and family members, and likewise be able to see friends and family members’ locations,” Steve Lee, product manager for Google Latitude, told CNET. “For example, a girlfriend could use it to see if her boyfriend has arrived at a restaurant and, if not, how far away he is.”

Google claims your privacy is protected because the service requires people to sign up for it. Right. If you are a man who would willingly sign up for a service that allows your girlfriend to follow your every movement, please go to the nearest woodchipper and surrender your testicles for mulch. They are no longer being used by you. And if you need this service to track your girlfriend because you’re insecure about her faithfulness, you deserve to see her little red GPS dot blink over the local biker bar at 2AM.

There’s a reason I use dogpile.com. Google is a totalitarian unAmerican left wing behemoth with delusions of Soviet grandeur. I hope it fails.


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