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Handicap Principle

This post is also available in: German

A reader sent me this pic of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and wondered if it showed that Cruise is secretly a nancyboy beta:

May 31, 2008: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pose for pictures in front of their house before attending their housewarming party in Beverly Hills, California today. Credit: INFphoto.com Ref.: infusla-42/98/99

signaling the mothership.

The average man could not get away with this obsequious lean-in. If the average man did this with his girlfriend in public men looking on would cringe and women would “AWW” with pity as their vaginas snapped shut. Later that night, the girlfriend of the average man who leaned in would find an excuse to not have sex with him.

Despite the lean-in and the jumping up and down on couches professing his love for Katie, Tom Cruise is a super alpha. He can afford to display the saccharine romantic lovey-dovey behavior of the daydreaming beta because he has extra alpha to spare. It’s why rock stars can sing about the most maudlin treacle, emoting to their hearts’ content about writing love letters for that one special girl who dances in the meadows, without incurring a hit to their sexual market value. In fact, beta signaling by an alpha will actually raise the alpha’s status, helping him avoid the pitfall of being tagged as “arrogant” by potential admirers.

Therefore, if you are a natural super alpha, some acceptable beta things you can do (or are likely already doing) to handicap yourself and paradoxically increase your value are:

  • Self-deprecating humor

Natural betas who self-deprecate too much are seen as weak and self-loathing. Natural alphas who self-deprecate are viewed as charming.

  • Buying girls drinks

A beta who is generous too soon will seem approval-seeking. An alpha who is generous will seem like an alpha who is generous.

  • PDA

Betas should really try hard to curb this urge. Alphas don’t have to worry about slobbering over their girlfriends once in a while, though they rarely do.

  • Poetry and mash notes

The closer you are to a natural super alpha, the more you can live your life like a Hollywood movie. This means writing poetry for your girl won’t cost you attractiveness points. If you are a beta, you should never pour your heart out in poems for your girl, unless she has gotten older or fatter. In those cases, she will receive your poem with more gratitude.

  • Crying

Dangerous! To be on the safe side, neither alphas nor betas should ever cry in front of their girlfriends, and preferably not in private either (it builds the right habits). But if the circumstances are favorable, and the alpha vibe is particularly strong, and his crying technique is solid, a man may shed a single tear. If all goes well, this act of vulnerability can make a girl’s heart explode with love. NOTE: If your pregnant tear has succeeded in eliciting sexually aroused emotions in your girl, DO NOT get greedy and attempt a second tear. The spell can be broken as quickly as it was cast, and you will go from sensitive strongman to weepy wuss instantly. Wait at least one year before unloading the powerful man tears again.

  • Complimenting other men

A beta should refrain from excessive flattery of his betters. In fact, the beta should try not to compliment other men at all, even when the compliment is deserved and the other man’s social cachet is obvious. It’s just too risky. People will presume the complimenting beta is a lickspittle as opposed to assuming the complimenting alpha is someone who is secure enough in himself to offer kind words to other men.

  • Lovemaking

Betas – don’t. You should stick to aggressive fucking and kinky sex. An alpha can mix it up with slow lovemaking without risking his status as the one “in charge” in the bedroom.

  • Porn

Betas should try and conceal their extensive porn collection from their women, because otherwise they will be pegged as loser pervs. Alphas don’t need to be so secretive about their porn. She’ll probably blame herself for not being enough for him and work twice as hard during sex.

Postscript: Where beta signaling works for alphas, alpha signaling works for betas. Alpha signaling is the heart of game.


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