Reading about these horror stories left a bad taste in my mouth:
Patrick Connaro, a 42-year-old robotics engineer living in Colorado Springs, was sitting in the bleachers one warm Saturday afternoon in 2003, watching his son’s Little League game, when the ground opened beneath him.
“My little boy was there, he was up at bat, and I started yelling for him, ‘Go Matthew [not his real name]! Knock it out of the park!’ And another man started screaming for Matthew. Louder than me. I looked over, and I looked at him, and I was like, Who is this guy? And I looked at my son, and I looked at him … and they were identical.”
After the ball game, Connaro ordered a paternity test. The results came back 2 weeks later. “I opened up the letter from Labcorp, and it said, ‘ … 99.9 percent chance you are not the biological father of this child.’ I started crying. My head started spinning.”
Patrick, good provider beta male, dutiful husband, and doting father, was cuckolded by his wife and spent years of his life raising another man’s child. Would his wife, whom he knew so well and loved so deeply for her outer and inner beauty, ever own up to her monumental lie?
Connaro admits that the possibility had crossed his mind before, given his son’s dissimilar facial features, but each time he questioned his wife about it, she vehemently denied the suggestion. Even when he showed her the test results, she still denied it. “She said, ‘You forged this,’ ” Connaro recalls, shaking his head in amazement.
Ethicists are baffled!
Cuckoldry is, at least from the gene’s point of view, the worst thing that can befall a man outside of getting killed. We are here on this earth to serve one purpose — the propagation of our genes. Everything we do is either designed to push us toward that goal or is a byproduct of that purpose. So when a wife cheats on a husband, bears another man’s child, and then monopolizes the time and resources of her husband toward the raising of that child, she has stolen his reproductive sovereignty just as surely as hers would be stolen if she got pregnant by a male rapist and was forced to raise a child she didn’t want.
She has committed the equivalent of female rape.
While rape is associated with horrible physical trauma which mercifully lasts for minutes on average, cuckoldry embodies the lower-intensity but longer-duration physical trauma of exerting oneself for years to accumulate resources for child rearing. Psychologically, both are traumatic. In fact, cuckoldry is actually worse than rape in one noteworthy respect — opportunity cost. A woman raising a rapist’s child is still propagating her genes, unlike a cuckolded man who propagates nothing for the time he is deceived into raising a bastard child.
Keep in mind that a man’s resources are equivalent to a woman’s body. Both are the bread and butter of their respective sexes for fulfilling the prime directive of DNA replication. Rape is universally despised because the violation cuts right to the core of a woman’s essence. Cuckoldry does the same to a man, so why is it not nearly as universally despised? Where are the marches and policy discussions and gender studies departments to right the wrongs of cuckoldry?
The answer is simple. In genetic terms, men are expendable, and this deeply rooted awareness trickles up into the social and political sphere where indifference to male issues rules the day. If you think the indifference stems from the low incidence of cuckoldry, think again:
And research shows that it’s a lot more common than we might believe.
After recently reviewing 67 studies on the subject, University of Oklahoma researchers found that PD rates tend to be much higher among men who have reason to believe there’s been more than one dog in the yard. No surprise there. But leave out these men and you end up with a number that can safely be assumed to represent the rest of us. That number is 3.85 percent. Another review of 19 studies by a group at Liverpool John Moores University backs this up, putting the figure at 3.7 percent of dads. It may not seem like a lot—until you do the math. According to a 2005 U.S. Census Bureau report, there are 27,940,000 fathers nationwide with a child under 18. That means over a million guys out there are taking care of some other man’s kid.
This number is about 10X higher than the number of forcible rapes committed against females in 2005.
So what are we, as a just and moral nation, doing about this epidemic of reproductive theft? Well, according to the article, forget about doctors giving their help to the forces of light; they are in on the fix.
The fact is, the overwhelming majority of physicians will not tell a man the truth about PD.
“Most doctors are going to say to themselves, Jeez, I don’t want to cause a problem in this family by disclosing this information that I just stumbled across,” says Alan Meisel, J.D., director of the Center for Bioethics and Health Law at the University of Pittsburgh. “Why create problems if I don’t have to?”
And the law? Men are being forced to pay child support for children not their own. As usual, the law is an ass.
My solution to the scourge of cuckoldry is quite simple, which means it will never be implemented. A marital pre-nup should require all mothers submit to a paternity test upon the birth of any children. If paternity is verified, pass the cigars. If not, the man has the legally sanctioned choice to immediately leave his wife with ZERO obligations, financial or otherwise, plus the wife will be required to remit his portion of the investment in her during her pregnancy. A deal is a deal.
If the law raises the stakes for women intent on committing cuckoldry, there may be some blowback in the form of women opting to forego marriage to a beta provider entirely if she cannot exercise her historical option of getting him to foot the bill for the product of her indiscretion with the bass player. While this structural change in the mating system may be bad for the health of society as a whole, for the individual unfortunate betas, this side effect at least affords them a chance to improve themselves as men without being saddled with unwanted fatherhood.
Like rape, cuckoldry is the soulkilling dis. Women who commit these vile acts and then perpetuate them with lies piled atop of lies ought to be shunned — culturally, legally, and financially. They do not even deserve the courtesy of a kiss while getting pumped and dumped. If they don’t experience painful consequences for their actions, nothing will change.
