Chateau Heartiste

The King, (that’s you, bub), strides to the castle balcony to sonorously address the ear-pricked masses below. Your heavy velvet robe flowing around you, royal bling glittering in the sun, you gaze downward, lift your arms with palms to the sky, and say,

“What do you guys think of my rule?”

Ludicrous, right? A King would never speak to his adoring flock like that. He wouldn’t ask them their opinion; he would state outright what he was planning, and expect nothing less than enthusiastic reception for his nostrums. The King would not query. He would proclaim.

This is the last in a series on the Rules of Social Savviness. Rule #1 is here and Rule #2 here.

The third rule caps what I consider the winning trifecta of social behaviors that are characteristic of the socially savvy alpha male. As illustrated in the above scenario, it strikes us strangely when a high status man asks questions. We expect such a man to declare his intention or his opinion, not wonder aloud if his intention is workable or his opinion worthwhile. This natural human impulse to regard earnest questioners as innately lower status — an impulse that is especially refined in women as a psychological mechanism for determining bangable men in their midst — can be exploited by socially savvy men to their personal benefit.

Rule #3: Don’t ask questions when you can make statements instead.

Before Team Autist shows up to bristle that this rule means a man should never ask questions even if he needs the answer to something he doesn’t know, recall that life is full to brimming with generalizable rules that must suffer the indignity of hard-to-square exceptions. Learn to deal with the dissonance.

Rule #3 is the least firm and most frustrating of the three Rules of Social Savviness for social misfits, even as it is the easiest to follow (with some practiced self-awareness). Think of Rule #3 more as a goal to strive toward rather than an ironclad dictum.

Reader Lorem Ipsum describes Rule #3 very well in a comment on this post,

One of the best things that I ever did to improve my texting was to delete all question marks, as the interrogative mood is indicative of the classic beta frame (even when used as a rhetorical device; your texts should be the written equivalent of the terse statements of a pilot wrestling with the controls of a wounded aircraft). It is at its core a submissive posture; someone else has information (power) and you implore them to share that power with you.

“Is this a trick question? I loved the spice girls”
versus:
“Trick question. I loved the spice girls”

The second is more powerful. The Alpha ALWAYS knows, even when he doesn’t.

Act as if you know, even when you don’t. Chicks dig overconfident men. Overconfidence is the heart of game.

So get in the practice of thinking before speaking. Make that split second adjustment that mentally switches your questions to statements. Avoid the question mark in any texts, chats or emails. If there is room to rephrase a question to a statement, do so. And as your tongue nimbly accommodates this improved, alpha, way of speaking, you will discover a new man emerging from the chrysalis of your beta shell. Fake it till you create it. And make no mistake, you CAN create a better man out of the man that is now you.

The Three Rules of Social Savviness

1. Don’t get defensive
2. Don’t force conversation topics
3. Don’t ask questions when you can make statements instead

Abide these rules, and your social life will improve dramatically. Half of your game will be rendered obsolete because friends charmed by your company will go out of their way to set you up with girls they know. And they’ll make damned sure the girls are cute and feminine, because you wouldn’t want to disappoint the King, would you?

UPDATE

Mangan has linked to an article about “uptalk”, which is the linguistic habit of turning every statement into a question. Quote,

[Uptalk] is the very opposite of confidence or assertiveness.

Yet again we see that the landed gentry of the human sciences have ♥vindicated♥ Chateau Heartiste concepts, providing more ammunition for advocates of game as a legitimate fast-track seduction technique. Game denialists would weep, but their bodily fluids are empty on account of having shed their last post-coital tear of relief into their couch creases.

[crypto-donation-box]

Social Savviness Rule #1 was: Don’t Get Defensive. Also known as the “If you show your soft underbelly, people will claw at it until your guts are sliding out” rule.

In this post, we will discuss the second of the three Rules of Social Savviness:

Rule #2: Don’t Force Conversation Topics.

Men have a thermal exhaust port. We are too logical. No, seriously. Logic is great for building bridges that won’t collapse and for inventing calculus, but it’s horrible as a mental facility for managing relationships or persuading women to see your point of view.

(Women have a thermal exhaust port, too: Their emotional bonding and subsequent rationalization for their feelings that blinds them to a man’s true motives.)

Logical thinking is how theories are formulated, arguments are devised, and solutions are hard-won. Men, by dint of years of exposure to their own natures, have resilient egos which can withstand blows by opposing forces and regroup for another day of adventure and creative-destruction. Unlike women who retreat to deeper delusions when their egos are struck by reality, men can, to varying degree, take an ego shock in stride and incorporate new evidence that will accrue to their personal advantage.

That male trait which is a gift in non-romantically infused contexts is a handicap when the opposing force is an alien who doesn’t play by the rules of logic. That force is female self-love, from which all absurdities of thought and peculiarities of reason flow.

So what happens when the unstoppable force of male logic meets the immovable object of female self-love? You get what we in the seduction business call a stubborn refusal to let an orphaned conversation thread die out when it isn’t being received well by female company.

We’ve all seen this happen to some hapless over-logical male: The triumphant quasi-announcement of a scintillating conversation topic nursed in a split second judgment that the gathered will be amazed by his wit and wisdom, the forthright glee with which it is presented for studio consumption, the leaking of confident airs from his demeanor as he too slowly realizes no one is reciprocating his energy or spring-boarding off his brilliance, the stuttering follow-up as one or two congregants, usually women, ricochet unpredictably into new topical territory, the prison of silence that muffles him as he surrenders to the reality that the crowd has MOVED ON.

And then, the most awkward moment, the anti-climax he will regret for months if he is young and for an hour or two if he is older and giving less fucks about life’s sadistic pop quizzes. That moment, after the conversation has fully turned and spasms of fresh vigor have been injected by girlicues following their bouncing bubbly balls, when he throws himself, bellyflop style, onto the organic rhythm of the back and forth with a last-ditch effort to impose his previous stream of concreteness. And, naturally, the reddening splash turns to reddening hue as eyes of pity shot with capillaries of contempt answer his logical insistence with an ocular writ of cease and desist.

He is humbled, and his allies in male logic abandon him as the women take the lead to rescue a souring scene. As go the tingles, so go the tumescents.

If you get what you think is a winning conversational theme in your head, be prepared to abandon it at a moment’s notice. Like De Niro* might say about seduction, don’t get attached to a topic you aren’t willing to drop in ten seconds flat, if you feel the female heat around the corner.

(*Running ref gag.)

Let threads die. Don’t attempt to revive threads at a later time. Don’t beat a fun time over the head with your genius insight that the world is fated to endure. Don’t hammer home a message when the crowd has decided it’s time to talk about something else. If you can master the art of artfully dodging your own bull-headed self-loyalty, you can learn to appreciate the percolating jazziness of verbal foreplay. It’s a talent that comes second-nature to women, but which men — especially autist spectrum men — have to work at to achieve the same level of instinctive grasp.

If you feel that headstrong voice egging on your ego to drive home a point, don’t listen to it. Avoid its tempation. Choose strife. Accept that conversations and social pressures will be chaotic, and that from this bubbling froth of flirty banter that is outside of your narrow mental alleyways and that flourishes under both your simultaneous command and acquiescence, real desire can erupt, like a solar flare.

Women measure a man’s mate worth by many more variables than just his shoes or square jaw. They measure his wit, his grace under pressure, his adaptability. Can he steer discursive switchbacks with confidence? Can he quickly disown colloquially limp lows while claiming careening conversational highs as his own? These tells of a man’s alpha nature — and yes, they are the distinguishing hallmarks of the alpha male personality — are subtle enough to be missed by other men with eight-cylinder powered logical minds, but are magnified to outsized relevance by intuitive women with a million years of evolution to guide them toward the vessel of their orgasmically up-sucked überseed.

One trick I have learned that has helped me avoid the error of forcing conversation topics is to relinquish a flowering thought at the moment when the crowd wants to hear more of it. Better to err on the side of leaving a topic stranded close to a high note rather than beating it to death past its expiration note. You are not a stand-up comedian with a captive audience and a mic; you are a man in a group of people all more or less equally competing for air time. Use the floor wisely. Your wit should be a gift, not a chore.

Next post: Rule #3!

[crypto-donation-box]

This is a three part series that will delve into the fundamental laws of the pooniverse. The pooniverse includes within its sphere of influence any social interaction, whether in pairs or groups, single sex or mixed sex. Why not have the concentric embedding go the other way around? Because the biomechanical prime directive assures that any social interaction will create perturbations in the sexual marketplace that will move players up or down the reproductive fitness scale of worth. To put it bluntly, if you talk like a nerd, you’ll turn off women. If you talk like a charming mofo, women will brighten to your presence. And in the final analysis, everything we do, we do for love. Or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

The Rules of Social Savviness are foundational to game, and are vital to courtships and to friendships. The closer you adhere to the Rules of Social Savviness, the better every aspect of your social life, from your work relationships to your romances to your family to your friends, will be. The further from these rules you drift, the worse you’ll feel because people won’t want to be around you.

A socially savvy man makes other men laugh and enjoy his company, and this will be noticed by women, who cannot help by dance to their natures and become aroused by the sight and sound of a savvy man holding court like a king whose words are next to God’s. These Rules are therefore universally applicable, and ultimately redound to your success as a seducer.

Rule #1: Don’t get defensive.

Some might call this rule, “Try not to come off like a grammar nazi, or like Bryan Caplan on the verge of thumping his head with his fist after finding out he undercounted the paper clips.”

The object of this rule is simple: If a person (sometimes, yes, a cute girl!) is playing around with you, or even ribbing you with a whiff of malice, don’t take the sperg stand like a defendant swearing his humanness to a jury of his peers. The jury doesn’t care. They just want to be entertained. And logical refutation is not entertaining. Nor is butthurt indignation. Nor overwrought explanation. Nor cringing insecurity. Nor whiny baby boy whininess. Nor crestfallen defeat.

Well, that last one can be entertaining, but only to sadists.

I’ll give you an example of this Rule in action from my own life. I was at a [REDACTED] and did something goofy, the details of which I can’t recall but anyhow don’t matter much to the lesson being conveyed, when a colt-ily cute-ish girl announced with uncorked bravado to the assembled her opinion of my antic:

“Eww, that’s so creepy!”

Now, mind you, she said it with an obvious hint of humor, so the crowd wouldn’t get the idea she was being a bitch or anything. But even lubed with the laxative of facetiousness, this was the sort of blurted grillgrrl judgment that can sweep the leg of a lesser man who lacked experience in the ways of sex-simmered social politesse. Fortuitously, living My life as CH and master of all that He surveys, my reply was deceptively coy and disarming:

{raising eyebrows, curling lips downward, and slowly nodding like De Niro  contemplating the infinite cosmos}:

“You bet! I’m hoping to reach level 99 creeper some day.”

Not the wittiest line I’ve ever uttered, but that’s not the point. You can say anything to defuse a caustic jab and still sound entertaining and likable, as long as you don’t sound defensive. She laughed, crowd chuckled warmly, mission accomplished, at least for that three second window. These three second missions never end.

How would the typical, clocks in his 40 hour work week, stays on the straight and narrow, supports the infrastructure of civilization, beta male react to that same girl rattling his world with a half-cocked accusation of creepiness?

I’ll tell you (because I’ve heard a million beta males stumble their way through similar scenarios). The typical beta would say:

“That’s not creepy.”

Or, “No, I was just trying to…”

Or, “No, I didn’t mean it that way…”

Or, {says nothing, smiles weakly and blushes}

You get the picture. Defensiveness is the calling card of the butthurt beta male. A girl could be drenching her panties thinking about your glowing member, but if you adopt the defensive posture and utter three predictable, ego-bruised inanities in a row, her vagina will retract like a turtle in the midday sun. If that doesn’t shut her down completely, the retreat of a disappointed crowd surely will. Works on male friends, too. Your buddies will buy you more drinks and invite you more places if you’re that cool cat who doesn’t take stuff personally and knows how to badinage like a boss.

Don’t get defensive. Once you have this rule lodged in your head, you’ll be surprised how smoothly fresh grease for conversational grist oils your gray matter gears. It’s a self-therapy ploy to push yourself to think along new vectors, and to glide along stronger, slicker neural paths. Lose the bad habits, and good habits have room to grow.

Next post: Rule #2!