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Where To Find America’s Biggest White Pussies

Nov 21st, 2014 by

Politico recently discovered that demographics and race really, truly matter, and ran a huge article expressing their enlightenment (and burnishing their anti-white bona fides). One of the featured maps helpfully reveals where in the Land of the Twee you can find the biggest white male pussies. Oh, and the most hypocritical, too.

This is what the electoral map would look like if only white men had the vote. In such a world, Democrats would be lucky to win student council seats. However, there are a few (unsurprising) regions where ankle-grabbing, pillow-biting white males would continue voting for the party that hates them and wants them dispossessed from the country they built. Washington, Oregon, Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts: If it’s hypocritical, sanctimonious white male pussies you want as neighbors, these are the places to be! All you’ll need to settle there is a taste for soy latte and white skin (d’oh!), although rumor has it Somali refugee status will get you there too.

Basically, the parts of the country with the smallest numbers of nonwhites are associated with the biggest numbers of white pussies. Unfamiliarity breeds adoration? Or is it more like “supermajority white enclaves encourage cheap moralizing”? For answers, we sent a CH reporter to Provincetown, MA to ask the white man on the street his opinion.

“Sir, what’s your name?”

“Geordie Tait.”

“Mr Taint, what do think of your predominately white town?”

“That’s a racist question.”

“Have you ever had a black neighbor who kept it real?”

“Ugh, your question makes me want to throw up.”

“Provincetown is 92% white. Is that lack of vibrancy a cause for concern?”

“We have lots of diversity here. Maybe if you weren’t such an ignorant hick you’d come visit the dunes after midnight and see for yourself.”

“What message do you have for whites in other parts of the country who, unlike you, live in states with lots of nonwhites?”

“Jesus was black! Ahahaa!”

“He was Semitic.”

“Whatever. This country doesn’t belong to you anymore. You’re on the wrong side of history.”

“So the right side of history is Provincetown?”

“It’s whatever town shares our values.”

“Like New Orleans.”

“Sure.”

“Ok, then…. Boys, unload the trucks!”

Ten thousand displaced Katrina victims descend on Provincetown.

“What is this?”

“History being made, Mr. Taint.”

“The name’s Tait! Fuck you, douchecanoe privileged white scum!”

Geordie takes a mighty swing with his thumb-tucked fist, breaks his wrist mid-air on some turbulence.

“Are you OK?”

“OWW!!!!”

“Stop shrieking like a girl. I’ll get help.”

“FUCK YOU DAD!”

“I’m not your dad.”

“My mother made me play with dolls!”

***

For the lingering optimists in the CH audience, here’s a map of future election results:

Omens… I see them.

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Posted in Culture, Goodbye America | Comments Off

How To Identify A Slut: Ring Etiquette Edition

Nov 20th, 2014 by

You can add another slut tell to the patented and first-of-its-kind Chateau Heartiste list of slut tells.

Commenter backchecking explains,

In my experience, gals are extremely aware of ring etiquette. A ring finger is raised like garlic to a vampire — or flashed to evidence availability. This tic comes largely from the subconscious.

In a similar vein, lots of cheap rings and bangles indicate a babe on the hunt. Only one finger will be flamingly naked.

The “ring finger glaring omission” slut tell is almost as reliable as the tramp stamp. A girl with multiple rings on multiple fingers except the one finger that advertises monogamous commitment is practically sending up a Snapper Signal to the city’s gine fighters. Dark knights will converge on that girl to give her the hero sandwich she needs, even if it’s not the hero sandwich she deserves.

Bonus slut tell!

If a girlfriend or wife suddenly requests that you wear a condom, she’s a slut… with another man. No doubt she’ll offer some lame excuse for the change in pound town policy, but don’t believe her. The “abrupt condom policy change” slut tell is evidence that a woman wants to block your seed to allow unobstructed passage of another man’s seed. If you are the other man, and a woman has suddenly permitted you raw god* rights of entry, practice due calendar diligence. Every player should become acquainted with his LTR’s ovulation cycle.

*Ed: This was originally supposed to read “raw dog rights of entry”, but I like the typo better.

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Posted in Rules of Manhood, Sluts | Comments Off

Male Sexual Entitlement Is Attractive To Women

Nov 19th, 2014 by

Male sexual entitlement – in its broader application, overconfidence – is attractive to women.

Here is an example of it in action (messages from girl on left):

Reader Blick Mang writes,

Please rewind to 2005, slap me in the face, and say “I fucking told you so.”

No further commentary required.

Thank you for it all.

You’re welcome.

Why do women love male sexual entitlement? It signals male status. What kind of man can afford to posture like a Lothario? What kind of man expects pussy to fall in his lap? That’s right, a high status man. A man, in other words, that other women want. Entitlement <-> status <-> female preselection. This is the wondrous feedback loop that traps vaginas in amplifying oscillations of raw tinglage.

As an exercise for newer readers, here’s the breakdown of Mang’s message game:

GIRL: …that is all I deserve?

MANG: We’ll have to see. 8===D

Instead of offering tributes to her achievement of being born with a vagina, Mang challenges her to make him a more generous man. The universal Dick Signal is, shall we say, none too subtle innuendo.

GIRL: sorry, that kinda puts me off blah blah i’m not that kind of girl.

Now, if Mang were a beta, he would’ve tried to appease this indignant girl right around here. Most betas, sensing that a monster is growing within the girl they love, promptly revert to Supplication&Appeasement mode. “I don’t expect that. I meant to call you earlier. I don’t think of you that way” etc. Mang wisely avoids this manipulative female beta bait.

MANG: Eating my jelly beans puts me off. 🙂

Tingles are born in the defensive crouch. Nice reframe. (Prolly could’ve dropped the winkie.) This one liner contains some powerful subcommunication that affects girls’ behavior. Its subtext says to a girl, “I’m not going to apologize for being a man, and if you go I won’t lose a wink of sleep.”

The girl sticks to her guns, but you can sense she’s weakening under the alpha onslaught.

GIRL: i deserve respect from you, even though i slept with you

Mang holds his frame.

MANG: See you tomorrow

Nice lack of punctuation.

GIRL: ok

Translation: Her pussy just exploded.

She’s defeated. Her euphoric defeat was so complete she mewled to see him a day earlier. Game recognized.

[crypto-donation-box]

Posted in Game, Girls, Psy Ops, Rules of Manhood, Status Is King | Comments Off

Alpha Or Beta Male?

Nov 18th, 2014 by

Sandals. White tube socks. Is that a fanny pack? His fashion sense is clearly beta.

But then there’s his body language. Leg up, the fulcrum of his maleness insolently displayed under her nose. If this were a gif I bet we’d see him swinging his pelvis into her. A fat nerd in the distance looks on, horror-stricken.

Alpha or beta male? Let me put it this way: If I wanted a solid wingman, and my choices were 1. a dapper fellow stylishly appointed and subtly accoutered to catch the inquisitive female eye, but shy and liable to spend the night leaning against the wall for support, or 2. tube sock guy fearlessly projecting his male sexual entitlement, I’m taking tube sock guy, every time.

Boldness beats style, and it’s no contest. Why? Because a nerd with a ZEROFUCKSGIVEN attitude can be molded into something great. But a retiring fop who waits for women to approach him has to make an attitude adjustment before he can be great. The ALPHA ATTITUDE is the bedrock of tight game. It’s a lot easier to improve a man’s wardrobe than it is to improve his attitude, so rock out with your socks and cock out, Package Delivery Man, you’ve got that special something chicks dig.

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Posted in Alpha, Beta, Funny/Lolblogs | Comments Off

Freelance Comment Of The Week: Chicks Dig Charlie Manson

Nov 18th, 2014 by

Days of Broken Arrows provides a short history of Charles Manson, convicted murderer, cult leader, psychopath, and alpha male with a knack for harem building and marrying much younger women while in prison for life.

Manson:

Son of a prostitute.
No father.
Awful childhood.
Barely literate.
5’2″ tall.
Spent most of his youth in detention centers.
When he was finally released as an adult, he begged to stay inside, worrying he could not handle life on the outside.
With a few years he had harems of women.
Held orgies.
Orgies were so great that Beach Boy Dennis Wilson invited them to move in.
Dennis Wilson was a major Alpha Male rock star of the ’60s.
Manson then order his women to kill.
They were so devoted that they did.
His women were not ugly losers — some were former cheerleaders.

Say what you will about the guy, but he had an innate Alpha quality. Shame it was put to such bad use. Guys who whine they can’t get women should think about his life and how he managed to not only get women to sleep with him but basically make them servants to his will. He had some serious charisma.

I’m not surprised at the wife who is a fraction of his age. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have groupies.

He was even a talented songwriter. He placed a song on a Beach Boys album and penned this, which was later covered by Guns N’ Roses.

True love.

<dr seuss>

Yes, chicks dig jerks.
Some dig them a little
some dig them a lot.
Some chicks dig them
in the parking lot.
Some dig them white
some dig them black.
And some chicks even dig them
when they go on the attack.
Yes, chicks dig jerks
this much is true.
They dig jerks more
when they’re black and blue.
Chicks dig jerks
of all sizes and hues.
They dig charmers and badboys
and prisoners too!
Some chicks dig jerks
of the jerkiest sort.
They marry crazy killers
60 years older, and short.
Nice men and kind men
need not apply.
It’s dangerous folk
who catch a chick’s eye.
So when you see a puddle
and lay down your coat
just remember the chicks
backstage at death row.
Ol’ Charlie Manson
got himself married.
While you sit at home
and whack your tally.

</dr seuss>

On a related topic, F. Roger Devlin pondered the reason for the observable preference of women for jerks, in an article titled “The Question of Female Masochism“. A CH read of the week. The take-home punch:

I would suggest that female sadism might be expected to emerge in a society where men refuse to or are prevented from displaying dominance. A society-wide failure of men to take charge of women is likely to produce a great deal of conscious or unconscious sexual frustration in women which may express itself as sadism. […]

I do not know if frustrated masochistic instincts cause sadism in women—it is just my hunch. What I do feel confident in stating is that female masochism is a critically important subject which neither feminist denial nor the sanctimonious gallantry of Christian traditionalists should dissuade us from investigating.

You only had to listen… to yer loveable Heartiste.

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Posted in Biomechanics is God, Comment Winners, Current Events, Lolita, Love, The Id Monster, Ugly Truths | Comments Off

The Boyfriend Zone

Nov 17th, 2014 by

Reader H.H. is bedeviled by the Boyfriend Zone.

Dear Chateau! you’ve helped me a lot so…

What to do when girls always put me in the “potential boyfriend” category? I’m a sociable guy who usually has no problems talking to strangers, getting people to smile or laugh, etc. I travel, have a cool job, hit the gym every once in a while and know my way around both in a sports bar and in an art gallery.

However, I tend to always be approached or at the very least orbited by 7s and 8s looking for a relationship*. ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term” or ”I’d like to kiss you now, but I have to find out first whether you’re married”. (I could take them home and fuck them, but I hate to lie.)

I’m more interested in short crazy, one nighters with no strings attached. What’s this? I’ve been afraid that I’m giving out too many nice guy vibes, could that be it? Is there an element of danger missing? Are the sluts not interested? What am I fucking up?

*Of course the next step is to upgrade from 7-8s to 8-9s, but i’m not sure if that problem is connected with this…

When a woman tries to put you in the Boyfriend Zone, it usually means you’re giving off a heavy player vibe. She fears you’ll make her another bedpost notch, but she desires you, so to reconcile the good feeling with the bad feeling, she presses for reassurances that you won’t use and lose her. This is classic anti-slut defense (ASD) posturing.

This is a perfectly natural female response, and you have two ways to tackle it. One, you can tone down your charming jerk vibe in favor of more beta-ish cues of reliability and emotional investment. In game parlance, you’d back off of the teasing and flirting and stress comfort-building and qualification (i.e., “Do you like the idea of traveling with one person you really love?”). You’ll also want to flash hints of vulnerability. “I’ve had my heart broken enough times to know I’m no player.” With these girls, that effervescent connection is king. “I’m just a guy looking for the same thing you are.”

Two, you can screen for girls who want short, crazy flings or one night stands. This means you amp your jerk smirk to 11 and escalate sexually (and logistically). The idea is that you avoid any confusion that you’re potential boyfriend material. Mixed messages are probably what’s confusing girls about your intentions. Normally, this is a good thing, unless you don’t like to mislead girls, which you said you don’t. An unambiguous dispatch of your cad intentions communicated through your behavior filters for girls who want the same thing. You’ll scare away LTR-focused girls, while attracting sluts, unhappily married women, ovulating women, thrill-seekers, rebounds, urban gogrrls on anonymous adventures, highly sexual women, and smart women.

Occasionally, a woman will put you in the Boyfriend Zone because your behavior in some way has pinged her boyfriend radar, and she’s excited about the prospect of dating a man who’s on her wavelength. Her excitement can be so great, she seeks validation for the LTR promise that hangs heavy in the air between you two. This validation seeking can take the form of probing questions about your “commitment to commitment”, because for these women romantic escalation is as intoxicating as sexual escalation. Many players have no compunction about leading these types of women on (and it’s quite easy to be good at it), so if that’s not something you’d do then you’ll have to stick to strategy #2 and actively select for low impulse control girls.

I have some disheartening news. If you’re constitutionally against the idea of leading women on*, you’ll have a harder time finding many 8s or 9s interested in no-strings-attached sex. Contrary popular mythology, most funfunfun girls who’ll agree to what amounts to slutting it up are the wastoids, the desperate, and, if your game is good, the borderline cuties in the 5-7 range. While SCIENCE! is hard to come by, my impression is that blue city 7s rack up more sex partners than 9s. Which makes sense; all women want the alpha male’s sex and the alpha male’s commitment. But only the best women — read: the hottest — have reasonable expectations of achieving both goals. Less hot girls will sometimes resort to giving away their sex for a shot of alpha male money shots and a slim hope of rousing his long game lovingkindness in the post-coital glow (it rarely happens).

This isn’t to say that you can’t find a boner fried hottie who tingles for the flingle. They’re around; they’re just better at concealing, even to themselves, any latent desire for a sexual romp. If you want to be both honest and noncommittal with a beauty, you’ll have a road ahead of you. If you can handle soft-shoeing your NSA message without having a moral crisis, then blazing a trail of microtears through HSMV women will be easier. Hotties are gonna need to see some feints away from pure sexual objectification. Of course, you’ll still want to make them work for your love.

“I’m dating around until I find that one woman I click with.”

PS *”Leading women on” is just another term for nonjudgmentalism. Men who don’t lead women on are, by necessity, more judgmental of the women they meet. Because in fact there is no such thing as true nonjudgmentalism; we’re all judging something about someone else at any given time. Hiding your judgmentalism is good for business if your business is persuading women to giveitaway.

PPS When a girl says ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term”, the best reply is one that assuages her fears and avoids supplication. That means, don’t jump on her beta bait with forceful vows of fidelity.

BAD:

“Oh, I’m definitely interested in the long term with you. I’ve always wanted a girlfriend.”

GOOD:

“Like you, I want the same things. But I can only answer that once I get to know you and spend time with you.”

Your long term interest is presumed but not guaranteed.

Maxim #45: If a girl isn’t working for your love, she’s making you work for hers. Better to be a love owner than a love laborer.

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Posted in Dating, Escape, Game, Girls | Comments Off

Thought Experiment: The Alpha Male

Nov 16th, 2014 by

Which man is envied by more men and desired by more women?

a. The childless player who has a history of bedding beautiful, unencumbered women and is currently in a relationship with a pretty girl on the Pill, a relationship which he seasons every so often with side flings.

or

b. The low class oaf who has five children with two different land whales.

Envy is a palimpsest that reveals aspiration. Few men, even those who profess belief in the familial dynasty model of alpha maleness, would envy man B. Children do not make the alpha male. Children, quality children at any rate, are a byproduct of the condition of being an alpha male in a world where reproduction thwarting technologies don’t exist or are expensive and unreliable.

We’re no longer in that world, but we still retain the intuitive discernment from our not-so-distant pre-prophylactic past of which men are winners and which are losers. The winners — the envied — are those men who live varied and fulfilling sex and love lives with beautiful women. Just as CH once elegantly defined the alpha male.

After all, the hard work is persuading a woman to relinquish her sex and fill her heart with love. When she has, it’s a mere formality — in the environment of procreative adaptation from which our post-procreation minds are still molded — to fill her womb.

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Posted in Alpha, Psy Ops | Comments Off

Beta Or Omega Male?

Nov 15th, 2014 by

Many readers sent CH a link to this story for inclusion in the Beta of the Year contest. But is he really beta, or is he that lowest of life forms, the omega male?

A Chinese man dropped to his knees for 30 days (and 30 nights?) in an act of contrition to win back his girlfriend. (No word on what he did that pissed her off. Journalism!)

The Beta Male of the Year series is meant as a learning tool. Betas are put under the spotlight to help readers understand the kinds of commonly encountered male behaviors that cause vaginas to snap shut. Extreme supplication like that committed by the Chinaman in the story above isn’t very helpful by dint of its rarity and absurdity. Most beta males aren’t committing treason against their sex in quite so spectacular a fashion.

What this is a better example of is a greater omega male at a loss for what to do when the love of his life (and probably the first woman to sneak a peak at his chicken beak) breaks up with him. He reverts to classic omega form: Prostration, appeasement, self-abnegation, and public humiliation. The funny thing is, he doesn’t appear to be an especially ugly man, yet his theatrics are so off-putting to women that everyone reading this intuitively knows his girlfriend is filling with disgust at the prospect of laying with him again.

Omega males aren’t all sexless basement dwellers. The better species of them sometimes manage to get girlfriends (quality control notwithstanding to the contrary). What usually distinguishes greater omega males from beta males is the facility with which omegas will acquiesce to their gelding and the energy they bring to doing all the wrong things to woo women.

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Posted in Ridiculousness, Tool Time | Comments Off

Ten Hours Of [X] Walking In NYC

Nov 14th, 2014 by

Inspired by the subversively realist Shoshana Roberts catcall video, a hundred “Ten Hours of [X] Walking in NYC” parody videos have sprung up like facial scruff on Amanda Marcotte. This is a good one:

“Judge me by my size, do you?” 😆

Mockery is the best tonic for feminist idiocy. I can smell the feminist butthurt. *sniff sniff* I detect notes of hairy asscrack.

***

This video would’ve reached epic status if it ended with Chewbacca sidling up and roaring at her, and she gives him her number.

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Posted in Feminist Idiocy, Funny/Lolblogs, Videos | Comments Off

The Origin Of Women’s Love For Jerks?

Nov 14th, 2014 by

SCIENCE! has given us a glimpse into the possible origins of the renowned human female mate preference for jerkboys of varying jerkitude.

Male sexual aggression: What chimps can reveal about people

Male chimpanzees that wage a campaign of sustained aggression against females sire more offspring than their less violent counterparts, new research finds.

The results suggest that such nasty behavior from males evolved because it gave the meanest males a reproductive advantage, said study co-author Ian Gilby, a primatologist at Arizona State University in Phoenix.

This chimpanzee behavior could also provide some insight into the roots of sexual aggression in men.

“It is possible that in our early ancestors there may have been an adaptive value to male aggression against females,” Gilby said.

Chimps aren’t the only closest living ape relatives of humans (bonobos and gorillas are the others), but their present-day characteristics could help shed light on deeply embedded human sexual behavior that is resistant to shorter term cultural or ecological changes.

But sexual aggression in male chimpanzees isn’t directly parallel to rape, because it typically takes place at times distant from copulation. Female chimps also mate with multiple males anyway, Gilby said..

To understand the roots of this behavior, Gilby and his colleagues recorded instances of male-on-female violence in a troop of chimpanzees living in Gombe Stream National Park in Tanzania. The researchers studied violence that occurred both when the females were sexually receptive, or swollen, and when they were not. The team then compared that information with paternity tests on all the offspring born since 1995.

Chimps have a strict male dominance hierarchy, and more-dominant males generally engage in a greater amount of gendered aggression. But even when taking this into account, the team found that aggression increased a male’s chances of siring offspring — regardless of whether the chimp was more or less dominant.

The sustained intimidation in which chimps engage, which has some parallels to human behaviors such as stalking or domestic violence, is a form of mate guarding. The behavior may make female chimps less likely to sneak off with a partner of her choosing during her most fertile times, Gilby said.

So male aggression isn’t primarily about coercing sex from females. It’s a mate guarding strategy, similar to the violence that lunkhead alpha human males may occasionally visit upon their in-demand hottie girlfriends (cf., Chris Brown). And according to this study, that mate guarding aggression has a genetic payoff, so it would be selected over genes for “niceguy” supplication and everlasting tenderness.

Obviously, this isn’t the whole human story, as niceguys are still with us, and women don’t fall for jerks all the time every time. But there is clearly an observable female preference for jerkboys that has no parallel in a male preference for jerkgirls. Think of a jerkboy bell curve, and place women on it. At the far left, you find good girls who never go for men with even a hint of jerkish characteristics, in the middle are the majority of women who like their men best when they exhibit some jerkboy flair, and at the far right of the bell curve are your women who fall in love with serial killers and prisoners.

There is no such equivalent bell curve for men.

The study explains why men might have evolved a taste for flashing gang signs of intimidating assholery upon lovers, but what about women’s taste for receiving that assholery with open legs? One can surmise that a “jerkboy gene” which improved men’s reproductive fitness (in an environment where reproduction wasn’t thwarted by cheap and easy contraception) would, over generations, ride sidesaddle with a “jerkboy loving gene” in women that improved the reproductive fitness of those women who acquiesced to, or even sought out, the very special lessons in love that jerks are fond of teaching. It’s a variant on the sexy sons hypothesis; call it the sexy sonofabitch hypothesis.

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Posted in Science Validates Game, The Id Monster, Ugly Truths | Comments Off

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