There’s no greater arousal trigger of women’s lust than a man who challenges them to be better women. Or more interesting women.
Women love love love the thought of having to work hard to meet a man’s standards because the challenge indicates the man has dating options (which is sexy) and women like to know they are alluring to men for reasons that go beyond their faces and bodies.
I was meeting a girl at a cafe for a date. This was one of those places that has wrought-iron two-seater tables, with just enough room for a tea cup and saucer, and a slyly presented mid-conversation condom. Pro-tip: those iron cafe tables are chick crack. Girls think they’re so romantic.
I wasn’t feeling great, very tired, sad! She arrived a bit after I did, and when she settled in, she began chatting up a storm. Under the weather, I could barely muster head nods and inquisitive grunts in reply. Sensing an imbalance in the force, she paused to ask with visible concern, “You don’t say much, do you?”
The laconic man is quite attractive to a woman primarily because his terseness induces a dread in her which has her wondering if he doesn’t feel motivated by her looks to bother impressing her with a fusillade of verbal prestidigitation. This wasn’t the situation here. I just didn’t have my stuff. Explaining myself, I answered ingenuously, “I dunno….I can be wordy when I’m inspired.”
WOOOOOOOOOOOMP STUCK THE LANDING
She caught her breath, leaned back in her chair and then forward with theatrical relish, and said “Huh.”
When a girls says “huh”, you can assume there are a thousand other unspoken words attached to that utterance, and most of them are rationalizations for her growing intrigue with the pleasure of your company.
She added, after a lengthy beat, “Are you not feeling inspired now?”, and that was my cue to shift the gears into overdrive.
I don’t want any reader to get the idea that one throwaway line can take a first date from chat to hammerjack in an instant. That would be silly. But these little throwaway lines, each crafted meticulously or unintentionally as manifest indicators of a man’s sexyasfuck mate value, add up over the course of a courtship, and taken in aggregate produce the effect of lubing a girl’s mind to entertain and ultimately expect her akimbo surrender to his cylindrical timber.
That’s the power of offering a challenge to a woman, or of disqualifying a woman, implicit or otherwise. She can’t #resist the limbic bait. Few men do this. Those who do reap a girlwind. I hadn’t intended to encourage my date to question her worth to me, but that’s what my glib explanation for my lexical leanness did for her. And when a girl is questioning HER VALUE to YOURS, rather than the usual direction these intersexual on-the-fly assessments go, she is psychologically groomed to look up to you, which brings her halfway to relinquishing herself to a majestic boning.
“What can you bring into my life?”, is the attitude every great womanizer possesses. It’s the ultimate flipping of the script.
Self-regard is male T and A.
Communicating an adherence to standards is male shapeliness.
Assuming the sale is male swayback.
Asking more from women than what they are accustomed to giving is male eyelash batting.
And an impeccable sense of entitlement is male cleavage.
As we men respond autonomically with animal lust in our hearts to T and A, shapeliness, swayback, eyelash batting, and cleavage in women, so too do women respond autonomically with animal lust in their hearts to self-satisfaction, a fondness for conspicuous appraisal, and impertinence in men.
Game, in three words: INSPIRE ME, BABY
***
Some readers wondered how the rest of the convo played out. Paraphrasing, it went like this:
HER: Are you not feeling inspired now?
ME: I’m open to the possibility.
HER: Maybe you need to worry about inspiring me.
ME: Good news! If I’m inspired, my word count will hit twenty words per minute.
HER: Twenty words per minute? I’m a lucky girl!
ME: You’re already winning me over.
We parried this joke for a bit longer before I changed the subject. It turned out to be a great ice breaker/mood setter/tension releaser. The take-home lesson is that I didn’t shy away from my initial challenge to her; I upped the ante instead, but never without a cheeky self-awareness of what I was doing. When she tried to reflip the script to where she would have hand — by taunting me that I should worry about inspiring her — I didn’t take the bait, get defensive, or appease her. I throttled her offensive maneuver when I blurted out “good news”, and her attention was recentered back into my frame.
***
daysofgame says that he’s never picked up girl by being laconic. Maybe I was unclear…I agree with him. I don’t recommend terseness as a viable go-to seduction strategy. True to its definition, a little terseness goes a long way. There are windows during a pickup when fewer words can build sexual tension and reestablish a man’s higher value if it’s flagging from over-exposure, but most of the time I talk, and talk a lot, to stoke a girl’s interest. If anything, confining myself to few words is more mentally draining than letting my nimble tongue rip. A laconic man is attractive to a woman….after he’s said a lot of words to pique her curiosity.
