Today I present you with two fairly common types of female shit tests, and then discuss the one guiding concept you should have in mind to help guide you to the best neutralizing, momentum-swapping responses.
The first shit test (and it rightfully qualifies as a legit shit test) is what I call the Snarky Feminist Butthurt by Asshole Boyfriends Past Shit Test. An umbrella term for it is the Dominance or Compliance Shit Test. It takes the form of a feminist poseur, (whom you can tell is just seething with man hatred because some jerkboy throttled her lady thing in 2014 and didn’t call back), who takes out her resentment on random men she meets online with quizzes about their familiarity or obeisance to whatever idle feminist keking point happens to be sloshing through her electric ham. She uses the shit test to exert dominance over the men she has so far failed to control.
Exhibit C(unt):
“Her friends” = her imaginary friends.
Let it be known that every man whom “holly wood” has ever fucked likely had no clue about female authors, had never read a book by a female author, nor any book for that matter. The man she winds up fucking next will likewise have been recused from answering her vapid quiz. In the cock carousel interim, there will be a small army of lickspittle beta males willing to jump through humiliation porn hoops for an A+ grade on her testicle-shredding test.
The feminist poseur shit test has nothing to do with screening for sufficiently craven male feminists; it’s all about virtue signaling — or better, vixen signaling — to her amen chorus of loveless HB5 single bitter girl friends, or to herself to satisfy a too-long un-scratched solipsism itch. Why vixen signaling? It’s a humblebrag. If a girl can slap male suitors upside the scrote with boner-killing feminist demands and still get dates, she’s signaling to other girls her vixen allure is potent enough to surmount her self-imposed handicap.
A response to this shit test that would keep the playing field open (and not automatically and instantly disqualify you from further consideration) is one that conspicuously betrays an insouciant disregard for her terms of debate.
For instance:
“Good Housekeeping”, “Cosmo”, “Story of O”.
You’ve humored her, exhibited wit, and dismissively patronized her all at once. She’ll hate you and love you for it, and that’s a good feeling to put in a girl on whom you have carnal designs.
She’ll probably reply with a version of wow just wow how could you you asshole chauvinist pig it’s the current year haha i bet you think you’re smart. Ignore it. This is license to HOLD YOUR FRAME and add gas to her loinfire. Call her out for being a philistine unable to appreciate good literature.
“cosmo has great style tips. a leader in the field. try reading it, you might learn something”
Inevitably, if you stay true to your amused bastardy frame, she’ll crack and warm to your teasing ministrations.
***
The second shit test is more properly categorized as “Beta Bait“. It’s very common and it essentially involves a woman ostentatiously showing off her body to get a rise out of any man viewing her photo. The beta bait is her sexy figure, which will invariably incite beta males to praise her beauty, chomping down hard on the chub-swelling chum and thus getting the exit stage left hook.
Exhibit S(lut):
When a girl posts a photo like this online, or sends it across the chat line, you can be sure of two things:
- She knows what she’s doing
- She loves assholes
Beta Bait is a type of Fitness Shit Test. It’s how a sexy girl separates the beef from the daft; she wants to know if a man has high reproductive fitness, and one effective means to determine that is testing him for a needy reaction that reveals sexual scarcity. If he doesn’t sound needy, she subconsciously registers that to mean he’s a man with limitless sexual options who can take or leave her, and this is very arousing for the typical prime fertility woman.
The worst response to this shit test is the one I mentioned above: drooling appreciation. “Damn girl, you hot” is not just a failure of imagination, it’s also a one-way ticket to incel. This girl EXPECTS men to reflexively pop wood to her tantalizing physical taunt, so the obviously correct response is to do the opposite. Which means, in practice, ignoring her blatant exhibitionism or challenging her self-perceived sexual worth.
For instance:
“don’t do it. u have so much to live for, even if u can’t see it”
What she hears: “Doesn’t this guy notice my perfect ass? Wtf does he mean?” And BOOM there’s that pleasing alpha male ambiguity that supercharges twatbox tingles coast to coast. The “even if u can’t see it” late addition is extra spicy sauce drizzled on the main course, beckoning her to wonder if the good parts of her aren’t her body at all, but some other ineffable quality that doesn’t matter much to her overall SMV, like her judgment in profile photos.
(Another wag offered the reply “jump u faget”. Noted here for its sweet, outcome independent, jerkboy-compliant misspelling.)
She’ll shoot back something empty-headed and indicative of the confusion you’ve sown in her…. haha wtf *smily crying face*… but all you have to do is refrain from backpedaling off your cock-solid frame and you’ll have a live one on the line.
“who took that pic? your mom?”
Exhibitionists can’t have too much Asshole in their lives, so don’t worry about going overboard. Just remember that effective asshole game is also emotionally distant. Think “devil-may-care” instead of “unstable rage-head”.
***
So what is the one guiding concept to overcome female shit tests? Is it “Agree&Amplify”? No, that’s a tactic; a very powerful tactic that can substitute for Inner Game in a pinch, but still a tactic that doesn’t offer the deep mental state you’ll need to navigate you through the thickets of the fellating market.
The guiding concept is this: SURPRISE WOMEN.
Challenge them.
Thwart them.
Provoke them.
Elude them.
Baffle them.
Deny them.
Disqualify them.
Defy their expectations.
This is how you set yourself apart from the dully bantering, endlessly appeasing mass of mediocre beta supplicants stuck in a courtship mindset that linearly follows a grooved path from desperate need to impress to stepinfetchit apologetics. Everything you want to be is NOT what most men are; namely, predictable polishers of the pussy pedestal.
Ass pic? Question her suicidal tendencies. Feminist quiz? Mock her pretensions.
The kind of men who surprise women are impudent, self-entitled, sexually privileged, ZFG Jercques Cousteau holding girthright citizenship in Vajhalla. And it’s that kind of man, any shrilly claimed protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, with whom women can’t help but fall deeply in love.
A better follow up to the Cosmo:
Yeah Cosmo can give you a lotta tips on how to drive a man crzy
leave out the . . . in bed – Ambiguity always.
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Answer to tweet:
“Genesis, Leviticus, Deuteronony. God is a woman of course.” [Deadpan].
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HAHA…this rocks! Will remember for later in similar context.
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SHE: “My friends play a game on first dates now where it’s ask men to name three books they’ve read by female authors. It never goes well.”
YOU: “Women write books?!?”
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That’s actually not too bad.
I give the Clear One a 7.5 out of 10.
AND DON’T POST THAT DEMONIC PICTURE OF A WIZARD OF ME AGAIN.
*grinning in rl*
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YOU: 50 shades of grey, 50 shades of grey the revenge, and anne frank diary.
I concerned with feminist themes such as bedroom submission and war.
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@ponce
lolz! awesome.
capn O: never stop. keep it up.
🔥✡🔥
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if god was a woman she would have made sperm taste like chocolate.
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Both girls take it in the ass.
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While reading?
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[…] Two Shit Tests, One Conceptual Response […]
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I’ve read pretty much all the Bernstein Bears books. Boxcar Children were good too.
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There’s always Mrs. Potter’s Peter Rabbit stuff! Good shit right there.
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What doesn’t go well? The date or the game?
Holly Wood can honk on my dangling participial.
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Should’ve given you my phone, there was a Pokemon there
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I could only make it through the first two Harry Potter books. :hardship:
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to the photo I would say “what kind of ducks are those in the water? they look like greater scaups. they’re good eating.”
(they actually are greater scaups)
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I’ve always thought lesser scaup should have separated and declared independence when that isthmus was filled in.
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1. Why Women Are Such Shit Writers by Edith Smith.
2. A Concise History Of Women’s Stupid Questions by Agnes Thompson.
3. How To Spit in your Date’s Drink When She’s Not Looking by Gertrude Ginsberg.
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*grinning* This is actually pretty funny.
How about:
4. Blowjob Etiquette by Fellucia Blow (pictures, no text)
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“I don’t read cook books”
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thats a good one.
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The one time a woman asked me to name a female author I’d read, she didn’t know that George Eliot (Middlemarch, Silas Marner) was.actually a woman. Oh dear …
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I bet she gushed over Evelyn Waugh.
Whenever some gal used to talk about “Women’s Literature” I would invariably pipe in with how much I enjoyed Ayn Rand, “’cause she writes almost as good as a man.”
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Evelyn Waugh? The British dyke who shacked up with the j00ess, Helen Joy Davidman? And then left her for the other j00ess, June Mansfield?
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Evelyn Waugh was a man, Cap’n. The Loved One, Brideshead Revisited, et., al.
(((shakin’ it)))
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Parenting failure 101, right Cappy? I mean, those shorts are not leaving much to the imagination. Kinda.
Sadly, my cousin wears short shorts like that as well. And, I’ve got second cousins who do as well, and they’re barely teenagers.
To quote TheCunt: sigh
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Mendo, it might have been fun to joust with the pseudo-intellectual chick who wanted to talk books.
But the chick in the second photo? Tube top with no shoulder support for a bra [ergo saggy t!tties], short tight jeans over slightly flabby @ss? I dunno. I just didn’t see much there.
OTOH, if she had started with book talk, and then segue’ed over to “OMG don’t you luv my @ss”, then I might have played along…
[ Wasn’t the chick in “Rebecca” nearly driven to suicide via jumping? ||| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca_%28novel%29 ||| Now that would have been a good combo if “Fem Lit” chick & “OMG don’t you luv my @ss” chick had been one & the same girl… ]
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If you’re particularly grumpy: “Put on a bra with straps. Your t!ts are gonna be hanging down to your knees – if they aren’t already.”
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I only know of “Rebecca” via the film but it was the former lover that was trying to do away with her. Hmm, might have to watch it again.
The film “Gaslight” is where they made her think she was crazy to the point of suicide.
Also, I keep coming back to look at “luv my ass” girl. She’s showing all the goods.
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OT: seems the Muzzies have struck again – a truck killed dozens, mowing down Bastille Day celebrants in France.
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Reblogged this on parallelplace.
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“Why are you scaring those ducks?”
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Jercques Cousteau. This is why I visit this site.
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I’d add one little caveat to the picture scenario. If you know the pics are only for you, via SMS or snapchat, there’s nothing wrong with expressing your approval. Just don’t go overboard with it. Especially if you haven’t banged her yet.
All of my plates at some point wind up sending nudes or sexy pics. At this point they’re not fitness shit tests – she’s trying to please you. Show appropriate approval. But don’t gush.
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good point. but thats a hard call ‘pics only for you’.
it has to be qualified. but I agree. depends on where youre at in the cycle. and of course any gushing approval is gay.
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LOLZ!
jeezus. damn. thats pretty bad.
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“The guiding concept is this: SURPRISE WOMEN.”
Or follow an easier path and just do NOT give them what they are fishing for…
Game made easy.
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The art of wu wei!
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“Sorry, can’t, I don’t read those teen paranormal romance novels, just military history.”
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Seems to me a light neg is a suitable response to the beta bait photo:
“better with a bigger thigh gap”
or
“good to see ‘curvy’ girl with positive body image”
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I actually came across this a few years back. A whore among whores asked me what was the last book I read that was written by a woman. I told her that I don’t read things written by women because I don’t like wasting my time.
She spewed out some ridiculous garbage about feminism, but I ignored her and ordered another beer from the waitress.
There were several tense moments after that, but I stuck to my guns. The night ended with my cock in her ass in the backseat of her shitty four-door Accord.
If you run across a weathered and beaten redhead in the Houston area with a hilariously shitty black tiger tattoo on her forearm, and want some easy anal, trot out your fascist jerkboy game. It’s a done deal.
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chalk one up for the good guys.
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I dunno, man – I sense a lifetime Total Fertility Rate of 0.0 outta this chick.
Sigh.
And red hair, too…
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Depends on which game you’re keeping score for…
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Cool (fake) story, bro.
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I like when girls wear medium-length skirts.
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And response to the chick in too tight shorts leaning away from the camera: “Pics from the front, that has to be your best side.”
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1. “The Adventures of Supergirl, Twilight Anal, and Mein Kunt.”
2. “amazing skyline”
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pic 2:
for these type of beta bait attention whoring pics I always respond a little later than expected, draw some suspense, and remark something slightly negative about the environment or the situation.
example reaponse to pic above:
“lame day gray and overcast”
Another example I recall is when this smv8 sends me a pic of her in lingerie on her bed. her bed spread was ugly. my response:
“get new bed spread”
lolz.
another was recently and it was a selfie boobs cleavage duck face pic, smv9, she was hot. she took the pic in her apartment and there was a bunch of cardboard boxes in the back. my response:
“clean up ur pad. put boxes away”
lolz. these always work.
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Andrea Dworkin if you can call that female… Or human.
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Pic: Hint at an imaginary or real flaw, let her figure out whether you mean it.
“Bad hair day”
“Some guys like thick thighs”
“SPF 50, right?”
Duck face selfie:
“botox gone wrong”
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For the book question “Ann Coulter” would probably be a good one lol
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Ayn Rand for the win.
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I was going to say Ayn Rand.
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Touche.
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Laura Ingalls Wilder? Rose Wilder Lane? Martha Finley? Probably not going to pass muster with feminists, to put it mildly.
Someone could suggest “Madonna” to really put radical feminists into a tizzy.
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Don’t do it! Your oversized ass isnt a reason to off yourself.
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Broke up with the gf this week. Feel like shit.
Decided to fire up the old tinder. Banged a 22 year old (I’m in my 30’s) to try the ‘the best way to get over an old girl is to get under a new one’ Still feel like shit.
I shouldn’t try to win her back. The sex was terrible and had been an issue the entire time (She was a dead fish) but I’m still broken up over it.
Any ways to make it stop hurting besides ‘drink, a lot’
Sorry for the off thread
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Everyone has gone through it. It is an important life learning experience. You’re not going to die.
I would stay away from skanks until you heal. Don’t be hard on yourself and give yourself a break.
In time make yourself your prime focus of your life. Work hard, get fit, eat right, lift, get fun hobbies. Enjoy your freedom.
In time you will meet new women but they are not worth this much pain.
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Go get some 5-HTP at a health food store or the like. It’s a pretty common supplement. The extra serotonin will soothe your butt hurt.
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Ease up the booze and start working out or go for a run. If you do workout, go hard and heavy.
5-HTP can help.
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Thanks guys. I do lift heavy 3 times a week and bike to get Cardio in on off days. I’m pretty active. I’ll try the 5htp. I’ve used it before but it’s been awhile.
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Lift then a competitive sport (hoops, no outside shots, go strong to hoop every time )
If team sport not feasible , then challenging hike or mountain bike ride.
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9.5 Weeks
50 Shades
My Secret Garden
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Jerques Cousteau lol.
Even if I didn’t agree with CH, I’d still read his blog because of his humorous writing style.
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Response to (C): “Atlas Shrugged”, “Fountainhead”, “Capitalism the Unknown Ideal” 🙂
Response to (S): 3/10 😛
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Savitri Devi, “The Lightning and the Sun.”
“I’m not a cow worshipper so I can’t accept her argument that Hitler was an avatar of Vishnu, but still she makes a compelling case …”
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Esther Villar – The manipulated Man
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Who has time for this bullshit lol
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Whoa…..nice. is that a construction crane next to those buildings?
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Took me 5 seconds:
Dragon riders of Pern – Woman Writer
Mists of Avalon – Woman Writen
and the classic
Frankenstein – Shelly (although there is a conspiracy theory she wrote it with someone else)
Read a LOT of fantasy when I was a kid
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:woosh:
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One I’ll use when little miss crazy emails me next month to set up a date:
“Don’t know if I’m interested. I googled you. You look like shit in the molly bust mugshot. Your daddy looked better in his for DUI, and he was 15 years older than you are now.”
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haha ‘jump u faget’ is money
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Atlas Shrugged
Anything by Ann Coulter
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume.
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books by women. . .
Answer:
you haven’t read any of them
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I don’t read books by women because I’m a man.
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An answer to that pic could be something like:
You going to tease me with pics or are you going to share that pussy with me later on?
I’m finding that the direct approach (especially with these younger women) is a turn on. They are too used to other (younger) men pandering to them or always looking to say the right things.
I go for the direct, don’t waste time approach (let’s do this, I’m busy). It hasn’t failed me, yet.
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The first one would not result in a disqualification of me, but of her.
For the record: Clan of the Cave Bear and Atlas Shrugged. Don’t have a third.
The second would get dismissive silence from me. Don’t care for those games, or the cunts who play them.
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