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From this ‘umble hot tub jive machine, circa 2007:

Does she have a large trashy tattoo anywhere near an erogenous zone?

Slut.

Today, from SCIENCE:

…a new study has revealed the effect that having tattoos has on your sex life.

Researchers from the University of Miami have found that people with tattoos are more likely to have a higher number of sex partners in the past year.

In the study, the researchers surveyed 2,008 adults – some of who had tattoos and some who didn’t.

The survey revealed that people with tattoos were more likely to be smokers, to have spent time in prison, and to have had a higher number of sexual partners.

Worryingly, these individuals were also more likely to be diagnosed with a mental health issue, and to report sleep issues.

Professor Karolin Mortensen, who led the study, said: “Previous research has established an association between having a tattoo and engaging in risky behaviours.

I read somewhere that in America, women with tattoos have begun to outnumber men with tattoos.

As the tattoo is associated with high sociosexuality (willingness to go all the way right away, frequently, and indiscriminately), it stands to reason that women are reacting to a sexual market which is careening toward an r-selection dynamic: fewer dads, fewer damsels, more cads, more tramps. Women are going crazy with tattoo fever because they’re subconsciously advertising to less dependable but aggravatingly charming men that their vaginas are open for business, no questions asked.

Unfortunately for women with tats who are looking for loving commitment, men don’t want sluts except as sexual playthings. And the lsmv men who must settle for sluts will resent them for the duration of their short-lived simulacra of normal relationships.

What men want when looking to invest in a woman for longer than a night is clear to anyone without an agenda or a butthurt ego:

If you’re a low-option beta, you might have to choose 2 out of 3.

***

As a commenter suggested, your next pickup venue should be a tattoo parlour. Easy pickuppings!

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