This post is also available in: Deutsch
This is a classic rumination, written in 2013, by LaidNYC, one of the original PUAs who made his name during the Mystery/Tyler Durden era if I’m not mistaken. (All those memories lost in time…like jizz in thots.)
Closure Is Bullshit
As a man, you don’t need closure.
A girl either wants to fuck you or she doesn’t. A long, emotional conversation will not change this fact.
Girls, however, need to put a man they are dumping into a desexualized box and wrap a pretty bow of closure around it. By participating in the closure process you are helping her tie the bow around your desexualized fate.
If a girl breaks up with you:
Do not talk about your feelings
Do not talk about her feelings
Do not argue with her reasons
Just accept it and grieve on your own time.
This is hard.
Because a woman will never give her ACTUAL reasons for breaking up with you. She will only give you society-approved bullshit that makes her look innocent.
She will never say “you didn’t fuck me good enough” or “you’re too nice and not exciting” or “no other girl I know wants to fuck you so something must be wrong with you”.
She will say “I’m really busy with school and work and don’t have time for a relationship now” or “you’re great but I”m not ready for anything serious” or “I care about you as a friend”.
Sometimes the reasons she give will be SO false, such obvious flowery bullshit, that you will feel a deep burning need to set her straight, to correct her misunderstanding.
You can’t logic a woman.
You can say “okay”, walk away with a smirk and never contact her again.
Being robbed of emotionally dripping closure, she’ll always feel a little incomplete.
Why didn’t he fight harder for me?
Did I really not get to his emotions?
Am I not as desirable to him as I thought?
Is he more desirable than I thought?
Girls have egos. They WANT to know you’re emotional about her breaking up with you. It validates her. So don’t do it.
You want a girl dumping you to question her reasons, not verify them.
When a girl dumps you, you want to be able to look back on how your handled it with pride.
When you give a girl closure, you give her your pride.
Most Game wisdom is timeless. It will hardly change in substance over succeeding generations. What I write here isn’t much different than what great men from the past wrote about women, romance, and the nature of the sexes. The packaging may change but the tick, tock remains the same.
LaidNYC’s advice is similar to Chateau advice: when a relationship ends, be the one for whom closure means an opening to seduce and love new women.