This post is also available in: Deutsch
Bucky has a Game-related question based on a very common scenario often encountered in the field: the jerk ex-boyfriend non sequitur.
Elongated “so”s are prohibited at the Chateau.
Im sitting here enjoying a neat bourbon at a local joint and this guy to my left is trying to game this woman. Looks like an after work scenario. So he at least pulled that part off. They clearly know one another based on body language and conversation topics. Him, mid to late 40s, her late 30s to early 40s. He is fully opened to her, she is partially opened to him. He’s 90 degrees to the bar and she is about 45 degrees to the bar if that makes sense.
They are talking about something mundane (I cannot hear every word) and she interjects “I once dated a guy from Montreal and he blah blah blah”, he takes it and says “that guy is such an asshole”
Old Bucky would have taken the slap in the face too and agreed to gain her approval.
What would you do?
Avoid the stinky beta bait. That’s all this is. Beta bait is essentially an alpha male filtering algorithm that women execute when they are curious about a man but need to know if he’s a beta male in casanova’s clothing. Women want to be sure the man they might sleep with isn’t a clingy, supplicating weirdo who polishes pussy pedestals with his post-jizz tears.
Another way to look at this: women engage in “crisis and observation” gambits (aka long-form shit tests) to determine if a man has grace under pressure. To the female rationalization hamster, “grace” translates as “unflustered”, or “indifferent to female manufactured drama”.
“I once dated a guy from [X]…” is a cue that you are about to play the part of a lab rat in a girl’s Darwinian experiment. The crumb of smelly cheese is sitting there, behind a pane of glass; will you frantically press the lever to get at it? Or will you pull a beef jerky out of your mouse pocket and chew on it contentedly? Maybe you’ll break the glass with a roundhouse kick, or flirt with another mouse.
The point is that as soon as you reach for that lever, you have lost the girl. You jumped through her hoop, asexualizing yourself.
The man you overheard had played that all wrong. He done fucked up. The bitch set him up! He chomped on that beta bait until his gums bled. The absolute worst response to a girl bringing up her asshole ex-lover is to waltz right into her damsel-in-distress frame to commiserate with her about said asshole.
First, women get distressed all the time, and mostly for ridiculous reasons. It’s very rare that a hottie will be depressed for legitimate reasons; more likely is that she is just venting a toxic build-up of emotions that have accumulated from her roller coaster relationship with a jerkboy, and the act of venting and brooding is itself very pleasurable for her. So pretty girls won’t truly welcome sympathy from men except as a springboard for the girls to play up the damsel in distress angle to extract bennies from betas.
Second, women are sexually put off by men who come on strong with the Sympathy Game, reasoning (rightly) that these men are chicken shits who are trying to weasel their way into women’s panties by role-playing as asexual therapists.
If you see a pretty girl who looks depressed to you, #resist the urge to comfort her. Instead, be the jerk chicks dig and tell her crying’s not allowed unless her dog or her mother died. Then offer her a hanky embroidered with a photo of your smirking face.
Chicks dig jerks. When you agree with a girl that her ex was a jerk, guess what? You have raised the ex’s status above yours. Now you’re sitting there like a schmuck, tooling yourself. Congrats, why not go ahead and complete the pathetic picture by buying her a few rounds of drinks and watching her leave the bar with a bouncer.
Here’s an example of a much more effective response:
COUGAR: “I once dated a guy from Montreal and he blah blah blah”
ACTING ATTORNEY GENERAL LEE: “Montreal? You dated a gay man?”
You could also go the reverse psychology route.
ACTING ATTORNEY GENERAL LEE: “He sounds like a kind-hearted soul. I bet he cries every night remembering you. You cold-hearted bitch.”
Or just change the subject:
COUGAR: “So this guy I used to date…”
ACTING ATTORNEY GENERAL LEE: “you have some dirt on your nose….riiiiight there”
And then there’s always this Chateau classic:
ACTING YADA YADA: “If you want a therapist, I charge $200 an hour. 15% off if I fall asleep during your session.”