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You use fake photos* in your online dating profiles and still manage to gently persuade shocked and confused dates to relinquish the poosy.

Details available upon inquest.

*gotta keep the heat off your tail

68 Responses to “How To Know You Have The Tightest Game”

  1. gregorwayne says:

    And the inverse is also true: you know someone’s the absolute definition of beta if they get cat-fished by a girl… and still chooses to invest in her.

    Liked by 6 people

  2. The Spirit Within says:

    The best way to win a woman’s heart is by excising oneself completely of toxic masculinity. The modern woman appreciates and is naturally more attracted to men who support feminist values.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Stifler says:

      Frankensnatch Within, the best way to win my heart is to make me a ham sandwich. Promptly.

      You’re not a eunuch are you?

      Liked by 1 person

    • UndertheDRADIS says:

      You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!

      Like

    • The Spirit Within says:

      If any progressive men are reading here, just remember to reject the Nazi game tactics being espoused here. As a long term strategy, it is better to treat women with respect and as equals. If a woman doesn’t accept your gestures to date you, it’s better to be patient and be there for her and most importantly, be her friend. Eventually she will see and appreciate that you’re a great catch for you believe in feminist values.

      Only assholes and players use sexist tactics like “hard next” or “soft next”. Women aren’t sexual objects!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hackett To Bits says:

        Shame on you TSW. It’s offensive to use the word “men”. You aren’t progressive and xir-inclusive enough.

        You must also submit to your exalted she-goddess being impregnated by a Diverse male, preferably African-American, but Latino-oppressed-migrant is also sufficiently forward thinking.

        You must raise that future gender studies major / patriarchy smasher and pay for all costs including living in your basement until age 30.

        Liked by 3 people

      • The Spirit Within says:

        Sarcasm isn’t funny, Hackett to Bits.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Elmer T. Jones says:

        The Spirit Within,
        Nazi troll or authentic?
        Advice for betas.

        Like

      • Elmer T. Jones says:

        PUA Game tips.
        Despite the Nazi outrage,
        Costanza was right.

        Like

      • Boner says:

        Less than mediocre trolling. I do sense some potential there though. If you work hard over the next few months, you could probably achieve mediocre status.

        Like

      • Stifler says:

        Reject anything here and they’ll be as miserable and mentally broken as you.

        I already like this game!

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        The Strapon Within
        Advises on toe-curling,
        Heed at your own risk.

        Like

      • Tam the Bam says:

        I knew Godfrey Elfwick, and you’re no Godfrey Elfwick (RIP). Not even a Wrightly or a Titiana.

        Like

      • Mick9 says:

        Fuck you. You are a broad

        Like

      • Bucky says:

        You will never be my equal. You can’t think logically, lift heavy stuff, or do hard jobs. The only thing you’re good at, I probably do better myself.

        Like

  3. […] How To Know You Have The Tightest Game […]

    Like

  4. Vlad Tepes says:

    But CH, do they relinquish it in the correct way? Where is king to tell us how blowjobs from a woman are ghey? I must admit, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and I’ve seen the error in my ways. I am converted by his wisdom.

    I am here to encourage him to write a book on it. He could call it:
    King’s Orders Securing Halal Erotic Relations

    But I know his Titanic intellect would realize such a lengthy book name would not be catchy, so he’d make a neat acronym from it:
    K.O.S.H.E.R.

    Like

  5. Chicks dig haiku game.
    Neg with alpha brevity!
    Vaginas moisten…

    Like

    • LB says:

      The Spirit Within
      Gives advice to pussy cucks
      Ignore and chuckle

      Like

    • Here’s a neg I tried recently:

      Girl had a tattoo of something like vines on her arm. I asked, “interesting tattoo. Was it on sale?”

      Liked by 2 people

      • Sentient says:

        Other similar

        “that a free tattoo” (often yes!)

        “Soooo jailhouse! Your bestie do that?”

        “What is that supposed to be?”

        “That’s an odd looking duck?”

        “who was drunker – you are the artist?”

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sentient says:

        or not are

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        One of the best one’s I ever pulled on a tatted check-out girl at the market was, upon seeing some sort of man with wavy hair on her upper arm (note she was a very light hispanic):

        “Is that Trump?” (big smile, like I’m pleased)

        “NO!!! It’s my father!” (she’s smiling, though)

        “Oh. Handsome man.” (said matter-of-factly… her smile grows even broader)

        Liked by 2 people

      • Stifler says:

        Greg, were you hitting on Emma Gonzalez, you scallywag?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Greg Eliot says:

        Heh, heh… I admit nothing beyond amusing myself with a few common gallantries.

        Liked by 1 person

      • pulsotic says:

        That’s not a neg. That is teasing, which is good. A neg is a back handed compliment with plausible deniability to make the girl question her social standing to you. A neg in this situation would be, “nice tattoo, my friend’s mom got one just like it.”

        Like

      • Tam the Bam says:

        “Old tracks are a right bastard to hide, aren’t they?” (/renton)

        Liked by 1 person

      • markgm28 says:

        Tam, wasn’t Renton talking about track marks? Pretty much same thing as tattoos in some ways I guess

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        That’s not a neg. That is teasing…

        Well, a neg IS a form of teasing, in’nt it? And bringing up Trump to an hispanic, well…

        I’ll defer to your semantics, though, because like I said, I was merely having a bit of sport and not on the prowl. 😉

        Like

  6. Dread Forman says:

    “Visitors were asked to leave the as police investigated the find, which was described by Ben-Shimon as a “homemade explosive device consisting of a non-military firework mortar taped to a container of commercial lubricant.”

    A firework! Oy vey! Call the bomb squad!!!

    Like

  7. Keyser Soze says:

    Cap’n…oh Cap’n….where are you when we need you?? Roll out the Strappy gifs.

    To the non-shills: Does anyone know why the Strappy’s, et al. come back cyclically under the same name? Why don’t they use completely new monikers…

    Also: text exchange from last night…me 44 she 29

    Recent Bang: “Wow, Daddy”

    Daddy Thick Leg: “yes?”

    RB: “I had fun.”
    “Thank you”

    DTL: “#metoo”

    RB: “omg”
    “You’re awful”

    I wonder how many men strappy’s advice has harmed…6 gorillion plus, at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sentient says:

      That is a parody TSW account. The former one true TSW is “Rick”.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Captain Obvious says:

      I’m gonna hafta get a j00tube or twatter or instawh0re account.

      Plain old imgur’s don’t get past m0d anymoar.

      Like

    • Cracker says:

      yep

      Sentient is right. Rick is the new moniker for the original TSW
      and i actually enjoy the parody account. it’s pretty well done IMO

      Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        New monicker? She’s been using it ever since Trump won the election, and after all her muh polls dancing, was too ashamed to admit how wrong she was.

        And I still want a cookie for being the first to call her on the Rick subterfuge, as well as sussing her out as a female… and most probably a yenta.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Damn Crackers says:

    Guys have been sending women fake dick pics since the internet began.

    Like

    • Greg Eliot says:

      What’s the significance of this one?

      Like

      • Dread Forman says:

        In Carolinas, A Question As The Rivers Rise: Stay Or Go?

        “Mary Ingram stood outside a convenience store, open only thanks to a generator. She lives with her mother and 1-year-old son two blocks outside of the mandatory evacuation area, so she thought they’d be safe. Then it hit her: “My mom can’t swim. So if it does flood, I can’t save both her and the baby.” She decided to stay, nonetheless.”

        Like

  9. Hawk says:

    Use preposterous images eg. Brad Pitt or Hasselhoff or if wanting to go edgier George Zimmerman….up to Pinochet etc.

    Subtitle with wit to get IOIs.

    Eg. Under Brad Pitt image: “Wanna wreck my life like Angelina did his?”

    The Hoff: “Unless you look like Pamela Anderson in her hey day, don’t swipe”

    George Zimmerman: “”won’t you be my neighbor?”

    If you get her anger or her laughter you are still getting her to respond. Leverage accordingly.

    Like

  10. wall says:

    Jokes on everyone, I’ve been using fake photos since forever. I also lie about my height (6’0″ to 6’1″)

    From my experience, girl just don’t care

    To absolutely fair, I am fairly attractive

    It’s just on dating apps, it’s the top 10% guys that get 90% of matches, plus the ratio on Tinder is like 70% men

    I don’t know if a short ugly dude using a male model’s pictures would work as nearly as well. BUT it’s still better than swiping nonstop for zero matches

    Better a pissed off date, than nothing

    Liked by 2 people

  11. seldom seen says:

    just hit dictionary.com for a quick definition and this was featured on the main page: How Incels Created An Online Language

    Clicking on it to read the article, it starts with “Short for involuntary celibacy, incel refers to an internet subculture of men who blame women for the fact that they are not having sex.”

    shall i go further?

    Like

  12. Anonymous says:

    Oh, I did so. With a fake photo from a girl btw. And telling on the profile it was fake. We dated for quite a while, good times

    Like

  13. ⇜ ⇜ ⇜ ⇜ (@chemtrails_9_11) says:

    thought ch didn’t do online?

    [CH: so you’ve heard (for real, though, i mostly avoid it. online game heyday is over. face to face is the only acceptable route to root now)]

    Like

  14. Josephine says:

    Speaking of tight, check out the photos of the hot young “thing” in this story.

    Reminds me of Madonna’s “daughter” and Anthony Bourdain’s ex “wife”, don’t you agree?

    Maybe time to start asking questions…

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4743036/800-children-young-10-puberty-blockers.html

    Like

  15. Chris says:

    I did exactly this all throughout 2012-2015 when I was on POF.

    I used to hate being seen by locals on that sewer of a site, and so always used fake pics (that were, admittedly, a reasonably close resemblance to how I actually looked). I used to hunt for someone like me on Google Images.

    The thing is, 50% of chicks never remarked on anything untoward when they met me, and when the other 50% mentioned me not looking like my photos I shrugged my shoulders and said “photos can be funny like that”. I actually had a girl I had been seeing on the regular (for around 4 months) finally discover one afternoon I had used fake pics; she was really upset that she had been duped, but it didn’t stop me from continuing to plough her.

    One of the other reasons I used fake pics was that I could run no-holds-barred asshole game on these girls with the confidence of anonymity.

    Those were my best years in game.

    [CH: heh, yup i use two methods. the one you describe here (similar looking photo and nonchalant dismissal of the woman’s suspicions) and a supplementary method where i choose a fake photo looking nothing like me and then challenge the girl to see past the pic and ask herself what kind of sexy asshole would think he could get away with this *wink*.]

    Liked by 2 people

  16. wall says:

    Jokes on everyone, I’ve been using fake photos since forever. I also lie about my height (6’0″ to 6’1″)

    From my experience, girl just don’t care

    To absolutely fair, I am fairly attractive

    It’s just on dating apps, it’s the top 10% guys that get 90% of matches, plus the ratio on Tinder is like 70% men

    I don’t know if a short ugly dude using a male model’s pictures would work as nearly as well. BUT it’s still better than swiping nonstop for zero matches

    Better a pissed off date, than nothing

    Like

  17. Mr Meaner says:

    Don’t know if CH is talking about Tinder & Bumble (I wouldn’t really class them as “online” dating) but nevertheless here are my tips and observations for banging hot chicks on dating apps:

    -Going the full asshole won’t work consistently when you’re talking to a total stranger. Neither will any sort of dominance or kink routine. If that’s your thing, save all that for after you’ve banged.

    -On the flipside, being overly nice and accomodating, feigning interest in her life, job and asking boring questions like “how was your day” is a waste of time if getting laid is your goal.

    -Girls screen for funny and charismatic on apps the same way men screen for sex. They already know you’re gonna fuck them, what they wanna know is if you’re gonna murder them too. Girls will come straight to sex quarters if they’re satisfied you aren’t a serial killer – so be funny, be charismatic and be chilled. Girls love demanding men but not ones they haven’t met. Again, save all that for after you’ve banged.

    -Screening for sex on dating apps is a delicate balance. Too much and you’ll scare her off. Not enough and you won’t find out she’s a timewaster until it’s too late. Find the right balance. A girl who messages you first is *eons* more likely to be DTF, so play it smart.

    -Have a one-liner in your profile that arouses curiosity. It’ll give her an excuse to open you. When she asks, make the response playful. Tell her you don’t allow pants in your kitchen, or some shit like that. This will set the tone for the rest of the convo and make it easier to transition to a hook-up. Much easier to work from here than if she opens with “Hi.” Girls on dating apps love sexual innuendo as long as it’s playful, clever and ambiguous.

    -Don’t worry about getting off the app until you’ve made plans to meet. “Let’s move this off the app” is tired and old, chicks are wise to it. It also unnecessarily breaks momentum. Stay on the goddamn app until she needs directions to your house.

    Happy Tindering!

    [CH: i agree with everything in this comment]

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I once dated a German gal who was 5’11”. She was surprised that I was 5’6” instead of 5’9” like my profile said.

    She was a virgin when I met her.

    Like

  19. HEM says:

    I like to do this when I get bored. I actually prefer not even using a pic at all. But, sometimes I’ll use a scenic pic of some exotic place. Put something interesting in the profile bio (eg something that illustrates you’re intelligent and witty, as well as explicitly state that you’re alpha; the alpha can also be referenced in the screen name) and prob about 30% will respond. Of those, half will immediately ask for a pic. I usually trash them. The other half are receptive to what you have to say. Be straight-forward, brash and cocky. Never compliment their looks. Never apologize for something jerky that you say. You’ll be amazed at the results.

    [CH: great advice all around]

    Like

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