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Iron Age Convert

During one workout, I spotted a new guy at the gym. He was wearing a Harry Potter t-shirt. This is an adult man in his mid-30s. Tall, pale and skinnyfat, pockets of adipose unevenly distributed across a slouching physique punctuated by jutting bones. He had long stringy hair that had the telltale crimp marks of having been put up in a manbun. A real lanklet, off-the-shelf soyboy.

He was doing the right exercises, the big compound movement lifts, checking his phone’s workout app in between sets. Obviously, he was hoisting baby weights, but I don’t hold that against a man. Ya gotta start somewhere.

I’m suspicious of workout apps, though. Eager beaver newbs who throw themselves into an endeavor with excessive diligence and overbearing earnestness — acquiring all the apps and supplements and fresh workout gear — tend to be the first to drop out. First desponders, I call them. It’s as if all the fancy gear and accessories are there merely to psych themselves up for the workout, and when that stuff loses its sheen after a couple weeks, so does the workout routine.

Which is why my advice to soys is stay away from all that crap until you’ve gotten at least six months of unassisted, unprotected raw dog benching, squatting, and deadlifting under your belt. Then add an app and new workout clothes. By that time, you’ll have cemented your workouts into a habit. The accessories are best used with they’re superfluous.

So I didn’t have much hope for Harry Potter Puffboy. I figured he’d be there and gone within a month, tops. Just another shitlib (99% likelihood) who thought he’d jack up for the coming Civil War 2. Defying my well-founded skepticism, he stayed the course. I would see him every once in a while, looking different in subtle ways each time. Four months later, he was at the bench station, wearing a plain navy blue t-shirt, his hair cut down to the nape of the neck. He was lifting approximately three times his Day 1 weight.

Harry Potter was gone. The soy was excreted. A newborn man stood in his place.

I can’t say for certain his politics changed, but I can safely assert his worldview and his self-perception changed, and I can bet that down the road it will move his politics away from Potter and toward /pol/.

We need more Iron Age converts like this once-wayward White man, so do your part and persuade a soyboy to ditch marathoning for mauling the squat rack. The survival of your nation depends on it.


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