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This post is also available in: German

The first scribed instance of use of the coinage “rationalization hamster” at Le Chateau. A later definition:

The rationalization hamster is a descriptive term for the typical woman’s tendency to rationalize her decisions to fulfill herself sexually such that her personal culpability in making the sex happen is removed or reduced. Since that original definition, the rationalization hamster has come to acquire a broader meaning, encapsulating all the odd little mental tricks that women (and sometimes men) do in service to their glowing self-conceptions.

I bring this up because in my Pullkit I have many lines that excite women’s hamsters, and a spinning hamster is a slicking clamster. (Translating from the wordplay: a woman thinking a lot about the hidden meaning behind a man’s words is emotionally investing in him, which will persuade her to perceive the man as a high value mate prospect.)

Zee personal anecdote:

YER ‘UMBLE BED-RAKER: i like your kicks.

THE LADY AND HER HAMSTER: thanks.

YER ‘UMBLE BED-RAKER: the unisex style is in right now.

THE LADY AND HER HAMSTER: *rictus grin* i’m preeeetty sure these aren’t unisex.

YER ‘UMBLE BED-RAKER: don’t run from it. look at me. *sweeps hands over self* everything i’m wearing is unisex.

THE LADY AND HER HAMSTER: haha, but no these are women’s shoes.

YER ‘UMBLE BED-RAKER: i figured you’d say that.

***

It’s that last line — “I figured you’d say that” — which has been killer for me on many occasions. It can be deployed in a multitude of milieus and in response to a plethora of parries (notably excepting two: when she calls out your self-disqualification bluff and when she rejects your advance outright), and it works the same ambiguity magic every time, stroking that hamster against the grain so hard it spins itself into a fluffy orgasm.

HER: buy me a drink first.

ME: i figured you’d say that.

***

HER: are you hitting on me?

ME: i figured you’d say that.

***

HER: what do you do?

ME: i figured you’d say that.

***

HER: well i’m a lawyer at ballcutter, llc

ME: i figured you’d say that.

***

HER: no i don’t have a waterbed.

ME: i figured you’d say that.

The point of the line, if used correctly, is to pave the way for a cold read. It gets the girl wondering, “what did he mean by that? what is it about me that seems predictable to him?”, and then you are off to the races if she so much as haltingly whispers, “how do you figure that?”. Curiosity drills the hamster.

[crypto-donation-box]

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