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— Chad Vandal (@realChadVandal) April 25, 2018
When you park a Ferrari next to a Toyota pic.twitter.com/bnaBna98LQ
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) April 27, 2018
Staying slender is no reprieve from the Wall, ladies. When you get old, your slender figure turns skeletal and the flesh droops like canvas drapes off the bones. Your best bet for delaying critical Wall impact is weightlifting (notably squats) in conjunction with cardio. You lose that tender adipose fat soon after your early 20s and you need something to replace it — muscle — to keep your curves and protuberances in the right boner-inducing size and place.
PS: Men: let this be a lesson. That 35 year old sexpot teacher you have the hots for when you’re fourteen? Have fun with her, but don’t marry her. When you’re 45, she’ll be 66, and that’s the boner killer for which there is no cure.