Three gentlemen before their prom night, but only one will close the deal, plus the deals of the other two gentlemen. Body language and facial expression are all we need to know which young man has a thrilling future as a womanizer and which two men will go on to pussy-parched careers in goofy self-clowning and accounting. (h/t Drack)
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Still haven’t got it? This next photo should help:
The above should be the front cover of an instructional manual titled “How to pose for photos with your girl and come out looking like the Jerkboy King all women want”. The body language and physiognomy specifics are old hat to regular CH readers, but for the newbs, they are:
- man facing camera, girl facing man
- girl administering PDA, men receiving her PDA
- girl leaning into man, man standing straight or leaning out a little from girl
- girl’s eyes and/or lips adoringly locked on man, man’s eyes gazing at horizon or camera
- girl flush with love, man smirking like a Trump scion, one eyebrow cocked for added effect
Scroll through the rest of our stripling alpha’s girl’s Instawhore feed for more proof of her undying love and his unending jerky charms.
If our alpha promlord isn’t a Chateau VIP already, he will be the morning after.
The Strapon Within, Yours Truly, Captain Obvious.
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gheydar alert, DEFCON -3
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Can’t tell if that’s a dyke or a man.
Xe is pretending to be attracted to Hogg, so I’m going with “man” atm.
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^^^If you add the length of their mouths, and divide by two, the result is the length that one average (normal) mouth should be.
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Hogg has the emaciated body of scarecrow. Maybe his is harnessing his inner “death camp” survivor spirit. His hair weighs more than the rest of his body combined.
“You even lift, bro?” More like, “Do you even eat, bro?”
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oh Jesus, lefty, spare us your basic “I don’t smile because I am sad [X] exists in this world, which is the only thing keeping us from our socialist diversity-topia” frown.
It’s the same look, whether it’s Fluke, Hogg, those european foreign minister girls paying for the abortion mean old trump stopped paying for.
I get it, you’re not conforming to my norms because you are brave and determined.
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The Strapon Within, Yours Truly, Captain Obvious.
Most droll…
… but the Yenta Within is actually the would-be go-grrl in the middle making a muscular pose(r).
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https://i0.wp.com/thefunniestpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/so-hard-to-be-an-alpha-male.jpg?fit=290%2C284&ssl=1
lzozozl
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You got me (((scratchin’ mah haid))) on the connection, Cap’n.
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GE, Cap is surprised to be shivved by CH, like how Caesar was disappointed by Brutus
[CH: i was just joshing with cap. his star of david jpegs crack me up, and i picture him as a goofball who loves playing pranks.]
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To be fair, the young man labeled CO does look like a wingman who’s up for anything and whose antics would be epic.
I’m thinking of Gary Busey’s character in Big Wednesday.
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I’d hang with #3 any day of the week back in high school. He is definitely the funnest one, and maybe the most clever, in the group. He is straight-up Stifler!
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That scene is where Caesar would have said “Et tu, Brute”, implying betrayal (it wasn’t said in this movie).
I’m not sure why it would apply, though.
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Nah bruv, GE is compost heap ablaze, stick with index funds and keep BTFD’ing till the cows come home or you run out of dry powder, whichever comes first.
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Ah, I now see (said the blind man)… but his posting it after my comment, rather than on its own, is what threw me off.
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Great BL, but -10 for rolling with that crew.
Can only hope these are his cousins and its like a pre-pre-prom picture or something.
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The ones not wearing faggy suspenders look like they could be related.
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Not sure if it just me but there is something of Bill Clinton in that lad, I will forgive the smallest one as he looks like he clearly has a lot to learn, he will hopefully grow up in the next 5 years. The other boy I would say is trying too hard in that first photo, what is with the bending down thing? he should look relaxed tbh even the small guy manages that better.
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The guy in the middle is alpha too. He’s the only one touching his girl and her feet are pointed at him. Grabbing her ass, possibly. Don’t make too much of the silly pose. These are 17 YO kids for fuck’s sake. You’re putting them in monkey suites and they feel silly.
The only one not getting laid is the dork on the right. He looks like he’s afraid to touch her or even stand too close. Hope he starts reading PUA.
Speaking of alpha — Trump with the beautifully executed neg of Macron. Here, let me get that dandruff off your jacket.
[CH: trump likes macron, and maybe respects him. you can tell because he considers macron worthy of his dominant alpha shit testing.]
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I get the impression Trump likes giving Macron a hard time; much like an older uncle would to a nephew.
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Would love to see Trump and Truvada.
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Mendo nails it.
Macron is not in same league and it’s insulting that Trump has to deal with him. French should be embarrassed.
See Paris vs Menelaus in “Troy”
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Macron is 41, the age of Trump’s son. What a joke. He should call Trump “sir.”
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[…] Spot The Alpha: High School Prom Edition […]
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While what you are saying is true, the other two girls are prettier. He’s the Alpha of the group, but she’s not exactly promqueen material. He may be standoffish because he genuinely doesn’t care about her opinion of him. That might make her wet, but it shouldn’t change whether he’s gonna go there.
I knew girls like that back in HS; they assumed proximity meant they had a chance. Prom pics with the gang don’t mean they’re in.
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That was my impression as well… big fish in a small pond… a very small pond.
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He looks satisfied with her to me. It’s either that, or he’s getting some strange.
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And a good candidate for “strange” is Thumbs-Up Girl in the back.
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Yeah, he definitely looks like she’ll do… and she looks like a nice enough and fun girl, so true love isn’t out of the question. 😉
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You know what? I take it back. From the Instagram, Mom is a Molon Labe III%er. She might not be the prettiest but she’s got T&A, and she can’t be a farLeft freak with parents like that. She probably makes up for that mug by being genuinely delightful.
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Speaking of %ers, someone please enlighten me to the meaning of 56%? It’s proven very wascally in the search engines.
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I think you’re flattering strappy. The kid who is on the far right has a cute date considering how freaking goofy he looks. And his body langauge isn’t cringy in the least.
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Well, the kid is wearing both suspenders and a belt so I think it’s a good comparison.
Also his date is friends with one of the other girls. Notice how they’re more separated than the other two couples.
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“Also his date is friends with one of the other girls. Notice how they’re more separated than the other two couples.”
Heh. Looks like the relative dweeb is a victim of the ol’ “girl has a crush on her hotter friend’s bf/crush” phenomenon.
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He smiles too much. Maybe if he didn’t look at the camera…
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Those young ladies are all non-tattooed, normal BMI, pleasant and wholesome-looking white girls.
I sincerely hope none of them go to college and fuck it all up.
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“The Strapon Within, Yours Truly, Captain Obvious.”
Or for the best Donald Trump impression contest:
D, A, A-
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Needs to get his hands out of his pocket. Thumbs in belt loops works though…
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This *is* a bunch of M0rmonz we’re looking at. They practically arrange marriages in fifth grade and just expect high school love to be sealed forever.
Her head is big compared to his, but hey, maybe he sees the perfect compliant first wife in her. He may go on to have many sister wives in his future. Good on him.
If M0rmon, all of these guys and girls will be married and have kids by 23. No incels in that culture.
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My comment on this got eaten, but yes. If Mormons, even little dweeb kid will likely have more kids and with a better woman than most of us.
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I find jack-Mormon girls (jill Mormons?) to be a lot of fun.
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Mormonism is the last bastion of implicit whiteness. The poz is creeping in on them though.
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Actually Greg “the cunt” Elliot, that go-girl in the middle you just mocked is clearly the prettiest of the group. What’s the matter, she’s not white enough for you?
You detected a little mystery meat, amirite?
Shakin’ ma haid’
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Don’t make yourself more stupid than you already are… I was mocking Strapon.
I’ve often speculated Yenta Within might be a somewhat intelligent young girl… point is, I’m convinced Strappy is a yenta, not a guy.
And btw, when I want to hear from an asshole, I’ll break wind. You’d have to move forward about three inches to make the grade as cunt.
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I have a friend where every single picture with his gf hes praising her in the fb caption (I’ve since deleted fb so I don’t see them anymore) with a “My gf is so amazing” or “She’s out of my league” or leaning into her and grinning like an idiot. Recently he complained to me “women are stupid, she takes forever to reply to my messages now” and he told me “yeah, we stopped having sex so often because my penis is too big and she needs recovery time” She’s post 30 so I’m not positive she’s going to rip his heart out before they get married or after she gets her 2 kids and decides she “loves him but isn’t in love with him” but I don’t see the situation ending well. Maybe I’m wrong, but I doubt it.
He’s also packed on 40lbs in the last year because “I’m getting laid so I don’t have the motivation to stay fit anymore”
He’s a narcissistic know it all so showing him this website would do nothing except get me a “you don’t know anything” response
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40lbs in the last year? Damn. . .
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“I’m getting laid so I don’t have the motivation to stay fit anymore”
That’s a funny kind of outlook. Usually things going well should be motivating.
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“I’m getting laid so I don’t have the motivation to stay fit anymore”
I thought it was most gals that stopped tryin’ once they nailed down a squeeze.
Of course, any man that doesn’t get his motivation from what’s happening within himself probably never was whatever he says he’s giving up on anyway.
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Alpha’s date has a bit of baby fat, but not bad, middle SnatchChat chick looks like (((Natalie Portman))), right side chick asked to go with Kid Suspenders so she could run off and try to get the attention of the Chad who didn’t ask her.
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“SnatchChat”… guffaw, never heard that one
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I got (((that impression))) of the middle girl as well… a bit of the ferret face and schnozz to go with the go-grrl too-pleased-with-herself-by-a-half look, hence Yenta Within.
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Looks like the alpha has the least attractive girl(?).
[CH: she’s cute. i’d say all three girls are smv equivalents. maybe the middle girl is a point higher.]
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I suppose she’s hotter if she has her glasses and clothes removed.
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I’d go with Thumbs-up girl, myself. I’m not ragging on any of these young ladies, btw, he’s just with my last choice personally.
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I didn’t know Gilbert Godfrey had a son.
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I was thinking Orville Reddenbacher, or George Burns in 18 Again
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God…the world won’t be kind to Ducky.
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18 Again. . .hahaha! That takes me back
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I’m going to disagree with some of you, glasses girl is the hottest and has the biggest tits. I would make her birth my white champions.
Also if you didn’t notice from the tag, these appear to be Mormons, among the most trad of whites in current year. Even little dweeb kid will likely have more kids, with a better woman, than most of us. I fondly remember my brief time dating a Mormon girl, no, we did not bang, yes, she is married with white babies now. Higher quality than just about any notch.
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I’ll have to disagree with some of you, glasses girl is hottest and has the biggest tits.
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Hard to truly tell, but yeah, okay… biggest tits always wins. 😉
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Spot The Alpha – 90% of the reason I read this site.
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Part of it is no doubt due to the tux, but the kid is exuding a James Bond vibe. Good for him.
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He’s dressed the best, a dark suit that fits is always a good bet.
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Normally, I would say keeping your hands in your pockets is a bad move (and I believe CH has one or two posts mentioning that), but he pulls it off in part due to his overall smug ZFG attitude, but also mainly, I believe, due to the fact that he is perfectly balancing the hands-in-pockets with a man-spreading stance, that juts out his manhood just enough to draw attention to it. The last photo, with the fully spread jacket bottom, highlights it even more. If intentional, he is a teen alpha genius. It is almost like, in his pockets, he is pointing to his crotch, saying, “Hey, look here, look here.”
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He is slim in the hips, so the hands in pockets don’t make him look thick in the waist.
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The glasses girl is also cute, don’t get me wrong. But if she already has that bit of baby fat now, I imagine she’ll be unrecognizable in her 20s and beyond, especially if she has any kids.
I’d like to see the alpha pair up with the middle girl and have about 4-5 white babies.
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Dude, I think I scored with the bowtie.
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Dude – I think scored big with the bow tie.
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The other two’s dates are much prettier though. His date is thick.
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Yes…when the rest of her body catches up with those thick legs….oooossshh!
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Junior CH has the 007-game nailed! Well done, sir. Well done!
Deliverance boy is…disturbing. He actually got a date? At least his pants will stay up, rocking both suspenders and a belt.
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This is why people have an obligation to pick their mates wisely, not consume drugs while pregnant, and not bang your 1st cousin.
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I actually feel sorry for the little chap. He is smiling now, but will have a tough go of it in the future. Wondering what the friendship connection is between the three boys. What binds them (especially the runt) together as a group. Interesting dynamic, for sure.
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https://www.bitchute.com/video/ew51waka2HgG/ Beta or Alpha
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Just a drunk idiot. All fun and games until someone loses an eye.
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Alpha Prom King has to be a Chateau reader or actually have a healthy home life with a healthy pair of parents. Maybe both. Also, notice how the year-early-man of the night clearly has a tailored suit on. He knows his shit.
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Ohhhhhh….shit! I just noticed that the Intagram posts are from the girl’s mom!! And she is also posting weird photos of herself in those stupid computer-added animal ears, noses, etc., and stars, like girls under 30 do. That is, she has an immature attitude – which is usually the type that sleeps with teenage boys. If I were her husband, I would keep my daughter’s prom date away from the wifey (unless it is already too late)! Stifler’s mom, Stifler’s mom!!
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That movie gets funnier the older it gets
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I think you are wrong. The guy with the grey and the flower will be getting ass. A guys ass but still. He looks super gay. Only the short guy is doomed.
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Captain Obvious ain’t in that picture.
He’s in a back ally somewhere beating the crap out of a Jewish wanna-be gangster who was trying to sell dope in his high school.
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