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Confounding The Cocktease

If you’ve been around enough women in your life, you’ll have come across a most frustrating subspecies of the sex: the manipulative exhibitionist, aka the cocktease. Anonymous writes,

Happened to a friend of mine. She let him touch her everywhere but nothing more. When he gave up, she lured him back, only to play the same game again, for months. Don’t waste your time with such women, or improve your game to prevent these games.

The worst reaction a man can have to the unique predations of the cocktease is gullibility. Like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football Lucy is holding for him, the cocktease will never let you make solid contact. Keep hoping for a different outcome with her, and keep getting stymied right at the moment your blue balls have hit maximum pressure.

You have to stop pulling her toward you, and start pushing away from her. Redoubling your efforts to get in her pantsuit will only lead to the same detente: her stringing you along by the short and curlies, and then giving you the Heisman when you think you’ve breached her perimeter defenses.

A few CH words of wisdom on the cocktease, which should help clear any man’s mind about the nature of his antagonist.

The worst of the Manipulative Exhibitionist girls are power-tripping narcissists who love inciting sexual arousal in men, but especially in men with whom they have no reciprocal romantic interest. I.e., the classic cocktease, on roids. This is important, because the ME girl’s feeling of control and power over men would be harder to sustain in the presence of a man who likewise aroused her own curiosity.

The Power Tripper ME girl loves the reaction of sex-struck beta males driven to catatonic impotence, but she loves even more the consequent opportunity to put those betas in their places. This is why more than a few Power Trippers are past-peak women in their late 20s and early 30s; she is the woman in dire need of reassurance that she still has the slut stuff to play bumbling betas for marionettes.


The cocktease’s ideal man would be someone she approaches first, but who doesn’t flirt back. He just stands there being amused by her antics, making her work harder and harder for his attention, until his value is outsized in her mind. One step forward, two steps back, is his motto for dealing with cockteases. And then when the time is ripe, he pushes hard for the close, leaving her little head space to rationalize yet another coquettish escape.

The cocktease doesn’t want you to chase her; that will only embolden her to greater depths of cockteasery. The only intervention that breaks the cocktease’s spell is non-intervention.

When she lures you back….don’t bite. Brush her off and later offer a rescheduled meeting on your timetable and at the place of your choosing. This will screen out the cockteases who truly have no interest in you and are just using you for ego thrills. What the cocktease least wants to do is make an effort, so if you have made her work a little for you she’s more likely to drop her act and get real.

When she lets you touch her….don’t bother. Your active disinterest will drive her crazy, and she’ll overcompensate by coming onto you harder to provoke a flirtatiously sloppy reaction from you. State control is your best friend when in the company of a cocktease.

When she’s coming onto you to provoke your ardor…..push her away. “Whoa, not so fast. I like to be wined and dined first.” Or, “What are you running here, a brothel?” You get the idea. You want to frame the situation as one in which you’re the prize and she’s the ho who can’t control herself around you.

The Confound the Cocktease strategy is basically flipping the seduction script. The better you are at psychologically manipulating a cocktease to believe she’s chasing you for your approval (and romantic interest), the quicker the cocktease will stop manipulating you for external validation.

Tell your friend to give it a go, and report back to us.


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