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Spot the Tinder Fail:

What’s with all these women who have men hovering near them in their Tinder profiles? Answer: Classic female projection. Women are more attracted to preselected men (i.e., men who have other women interested in them) and assume that men must be the same way and desire women who are surrounded by men. Wrong!

A reader (@jimwva) agrees, noting that psychological projection isn’t a sex-specific cognitive bias,

Many, if not most, young men and women assume that what attracts them is also what the other sex finds attractive. Huge mistake. Many never catch on.

He’s right, men do the same thing (although not as frequently nor earnestly as do women). For example, men project their attraction to female beauty onto women, falsely assuming women wouldn’t willingly fuck rich and powerful men who aren’t handsome.

The same reader adds,

Lower projection frequency among men I would attribute to their own fewer areas of interest in women (1. Beauty 2.Feminine personality 3. Beauty 4. Youth 5. Beauty…∞Beauty). With more areas of attraction to men, women have more to project.

Good point. Also, men are less prone to projection because men have to take the initiative to find love and romance, which means they are handed lessons on the reality of female nature on a regular basis that constitutionally passive women don’t learn about men. A man who ignores sex market reality will go to his grave incel. Women can afford to ignore reality.

More precisely, women can afford to ignore reality while young and pretty and men are eager to appease them and supplicate to them, essentially hiding the seedy underbelly of the sexual market from women. As women age, their reality-avoidance can doom them to childless cat lady status. There’s no blissfully ignoring the approach of the Wall.


Sheer lunacy is single moms scattering droppings of their mystery meatball bastards in their Tinder photos, (some even cajoling men with the “reward” of becoming an “insta-daddy”). Nothing says “firmly grounded in reality” like women who think men want to raise the bastard spawn of other men. Maybe some of these women are super sluts who use their illicit sprog as advertisement of the women’s desire for NSA sex. The single mom figures that no man who takes her up on the tacit offer of no muss no fuss fornication will bother teasing her with the promise of commitment, so she has no worry that he might break her heart.


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