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Biomechanical sex differences extend to the infamous “notch count”. A man’s notch is not the same in style nor substance as a girl’s notch. Psychologically, girls record their “notches” in a limbic language that would befuddle men.
From williamk, our COTW winner:
A general rule is once a girl knows she could sleep with you, that’s her “notch”.
Once your thirst is telegraphed, actually having sex is superfluous to the woman. She’s already validated… why take on the potential risks of sex with some dude she barely knows?
Now, its a case by case basis. Her sluttiness, horniness (often cycle dependent), drunkenness also play a role. But in general, most girls worth laying (read: White girls) are perfectly happy to just play goalie and make out, allowing boob feels and giving no nookie.
It makes her feel good, wanted.
To go further with a girl, she needs to think she has to win you over because you’ll walk away if she doesn’t.
Well stated. For women, actual sex, rather than telegraphed sexual interest, is an additional risk that adds little to nothing to her need to be validated as a desirable object. Yes, OBJECT. Objectively speaking. Because that’s what it all cums down to: the human race survives when men look at women’s sexy bodies and faces and are compelled by the power of the Lord to seed their wombs with His gestational image.
This isn’t to say women don’t need and want sex. They love to fuck, but fucking isn’t necessary to fluff their self-conceptions. The man whom a woman WILL fuck is he who arouses her so completely that his flirtatious interest isn’t enough to satisfy her. She needs to complete the soliciting-dicking cycle.
A man’s sexual interest is necessary but not sufficient to pump a woman’s ego to bursting with fertile flavor, IF the man can successfully communicate a “take or leave her” attitude and redirect his sexual interest to other women without suffering some existential crisis of identity.
williamk’s last line gets to the heart of Game and seduction of women. Eagerly flirting with a girl and never pulling back or challenging her — i.e., exhibiting not an abundance mentality but an outcome dependent beta thirstiness — is handing the win to the girl. It’s giving her the trophy before she’s crossed the finish line. That’s the Girl Notch. (Or Thot Notch if you prefer a Current Year lexical rhyme.)
The nature of the Girl Notch is such that a thin girl in her plunderable prime will collect daily and even hourly affirmations of her sexual worth. This indiscriminate frequency means that the Girl Notch is lass valuable than the Man Notch (given that notch value is partly measured by difficulty of acquiring it), but more readily available for ego-stroking when the mood for a personal boost strikes. The Girl Notch doesn’t have the raw power of the Man Notch, but what it lacks in intensity it makes up for in volume. This is why girls often look happy if not ecstatic at all hours of the day, while men tend to evince alternating emotions of ecstasy and despondency.
The Man Notch — which traditionally and properly is simply known as the Notch — is meaningless without a finish line crossing. No man ever earned a notch with hours of foreplay and then a night spent spooning the girl through her jeans as his blue balls weighed heavily with unreleased pressure. For men, ego gratification is the rope of validation unleashed by PIV. Anything less than a Final Coition has the opposite effect on his ego, deflating it from a precoital high; though kissing and a gentle rebuff at the decisive moment is not nearly as ego-shattering as outright rejection on the approach, it is a fact that men feel a twinge of failure, as if they let themselves down, if they can’t close the deal when all the signs were pointing to vajhalla.
So what kind of man does a girl feel unsatisfied receiving his mere flirtatious interest and nothing more? What kind of man does a girl recruit to top her Girl Notch with her popped cherry? Very broadly, two kinds of men:
- The preselected masculine chad who, as williamk noted, trips her radar while she’s ovulating
- The man with alpha attitude and force of personality who flips the script and gets girls chasing him
This is the skeleton key to opening pussy: You’re the prize, and she has to win you over. Every man who can be called a beta male forgets this lesson, or disregards it out of spite and an addiction to noble losing and daydreaming about what could have been. Betas appease, alphas tease.
A girl knows a beta male is a sure thing, and that sucks all the tension and excitement out of her interest in him. But the alpha male leaves her wondering if he’s really that into her or if she’s up to his standards, and this will compel her to work harder to please him and earn his affection.
To wrest the real notch from a girl, you have to deny her the Girl Notch. And that means taunting her ego with the idea that uncertainty is the rule and validation is the exception.
Related to the subject of this post, LeShitlourde writes about the different motivations for male and female cheating, and why the existence of the Girl Notch hints that female cheating isn’t entirely, or even substantially, about fulfilling sexual desire:
Cheating for women is saying “I want out of this relationship”.
Some betas out there rationalize their woman cheating as a “momentary slip up” or some sort of heat-of-the-moment mistake.
But he’s projecting his psychology onto women. Men’s appetite for variety is insatiable, and even if a man is perfectly happy with his girlfriend, side pussy is a constant temptation. Even if a man’s wife is a 10, he’ll happily be banging 7s or 8s on the side. There is no female analogue to this, because women hardly ever have any sort of compulsion to bang men less alpha than their boyfriend or husband.
But if a woman cheats, it is communicating something different entirely. Women cheat as a way to express their lack of respect for you and to take out her anger at your weakness. And if you choose to stay, she will lose all respect for you, throttle the sex to zero, and metaphorically wipe her ass with you for money and support for as long as she can get away with.
The Girl Notch is SMV validation without the sex. It is particularly suited for women because men are less sexually continent, thus there’s no equivalent Girl Notch for men. Women know men will have sex with them as soon as they have indicated their interest, but men don’t know the same about women. It is often the case that many men receive positive signals from girls but then fumble somewhere along the way and lose the shot at sex. This affliction hits greater beta males the hardest.
Tangentially, what this means is that when women cheat they are doing so for reasons that extend beyond ego and loin gratification. Sexual fulfillment is part of that (alpha fux, beta bux) but a bigger part is what Le Shitlourde mentioned: women cheat to lash out at their domesticate men. If cheating was solely about stroking her ego, she’d get her kicks flirting with strange men but not taking it farther than that. This is why a man must immediately ditch a GF or wife who cheats on him; she has crossed a line that indicates a commitment to a larger disloyalty than that which would follow from mere “momentary passion”.
Reader Cracker adds that men’s apocalyptic reactions to female cheating are indirect proof that different standards for the sexes are evolved responses that accurately reflect the differing size of the impact that cheating has on each sex,
there is no recovery after a girl cheats and the relationship will only get worse.
i get trying to stick by your obligations especially if kids are involved but there is no happy ending if you decide to stay. and it’s bad for the kids.
even if they aren’t told about the cheating, they will see and feel that something is wrong with the two of you. they will lose respect for you as a man.
son will grow up to be a pussy who gets used and abused by women and daughter will grow up to be a whore like mommy. best way to prevent that is to teach them a good lesson. show them strong men don’t tolerate cheating. leave and get a better woman so they can see how things are supposed to be. that’s the only way.
besides that, getting over the fact that she was with another man was something i couldn’t get over. i don’t know how any man could. i had a girl cheat who i was head over heels for. i would have done anything for her. full blown oneitis.
but after she cheated, i couldn’t stand the thought of touching her again. going where another man had been. leaving her was the best thing i ever did in my life. after her was when my life really began.
It’s a fact that men experienced in the world of women learn early on: women can get over male cheating quicker and more thoroughly than men can get over female cheating. Women often run right back to cheating men, if they love those men; and though the wound of betrayal never fully heals she is happy to have him back in her arms again, because the grief of losing him would cut her deeper. Men, by contrast, and unless they are LSMV losers with no other options or hope of options, are less eager to take back a cheating woman. As Cracker said, there is often an accompanying disgust that prevents a man from ever again touching a woman who has cheated on him. It’s as if the invasive cock left a foul odor or slimy sheen on her skin, and now she is an object to be tolerated at best, disposed of at worst, for whom his affection can find no purchase.