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The Alpha Male Anthem

There have been plenty of cad anthems in the rock and country music pantheons celebrating raw masculine privilege, but the song “I’m a Wanderer”, sung by Guinea-American Dion and released in 1961, is in my factual opinion the greatest alpha male anthem in American history.

Read the lyrics (along with my editorial commentary) and you’ll agree with my judgment of this song’s ZFG ALPHA GLORIFICATION:

Oh, well, I’m the type of guy who will never settle down
Where pretty girls are, well, you know that I’m around
I kiss ’em and I love ’em ’cause to me they’re all the same
I hug ’em and I squeeze ’em they don’t even know my name

Man of Mystery Game plus an attitude of Outcome Independence, aka Zero Fucks Given. The Wanderer knows that the pussy pedestal is a penis prison, and he should fight the urge to idealize women and to succumb to oneitis by treating women as if they were interchangeable.

They call me a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around

Chicks love a hard-to-get man.

Oh, well, there’s Flo on my left and there’s Mary on my right
And Janie is the girl, well, that I’ll be with tonight
And when she asks me, which one I love the best?
I tear open my shirt and I show “Rosie” on my chest

Poon Commandment VII: Keep two in the kitty. Season with a bit of Dread Game and jealousy plotlines.

‘Cause I’m a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around

What’s the opposite of a beta male puppy dog begging for validation? An alpha male lion roaming the veldt for prey!

Oh, well, I roam from town to town
I go through life without a care
And I’m as happy as a clown
I with my two fists of iron and I’m going nowhere

I’m the type of guy that likes to roam around
I’m never in one place, I roam from town to town
And when I find myself fallin’ for some girl
Yeah, I hop right into that car of mine, I drive around the world

Love is The Wanderer’s Achilles’ heel. But instead of allowing himself to swoon straight into tingle-killing domestication, he makes distaff hearts flutter wildly by refusing the nuptial leash.

Yeah I’m a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around

Oh yeah, I’m the type of guy that likes to roam around
I’m never in one place, I roam from town to town
And when I find myself a-fallin’ for some girl
I hop right into that car of mine and drive around the world

Disappearing acts are cunt-nip.

Yeah, ’cause I’m a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around, around, around

‘Cause I’m a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around

‘Cause I’m a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer

I doubt a song with this unapologetically caddish message could be released today. Not so much because the arts and entertainment complex is suffused with bitterbitches and gays, but because there aren’t any men left with the requisite high T and heavy balls who’d want to proudly celebrate the male romantic prerogative. We’re in a male feminist world now, and our women are the worse for it.

The theme of this song and its time — 1961 America, right in the heart of the Great Compression when relations between the sexes were at its precious polarity zenith and wage-earning men could still acquire a reasonably pretty and slender wife (and nonWhite Diversity™ had not yet gutted the soul of the nation) — is puzzling when examined in its cultural context. Was it a rebellious sneer against the implicit monogamous restrictions placed on men, or was it a reflection of a sexual market that was perhaps wilder than we assume, or (my personal theory) reflective of the attitude of people at the time who understood the sexes were innately different and that men who make themselves a challenge to women are sexier than men who appease women?

PS On another note, check that handsome 1961 crowd in the video. Not a fatty, bluehair, or soyboy in the mix. America was truly a better country then, and no amount of blathering about BUT MUH IPHAG is gonna change the reality that as a culture, we Americans have devolved into quasi-mutants. Sad!

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