This post is also available in: German
If you see a girl you find attractive flirting with another man, don’t assume she’s out of your reach. Not all female flirting is the same. I’ve noticed that women will flirt to satisfy three emotional compulsions:
- To directly signal sexual availability to a man she really likes. This is authentic flirting, and it’s easy to discern because the girl won’t break eye contact with the object of her flirtation. An aroused girl who is happy to be swept up by a man’s attention will flirt hardcore with him, because she won’t want him to miss her interest and have him decide to break away under the false assumption she’s not open to her seduction by him. Authentic flirtation is, in this scenario, used by women to increase sexual tension, and help drive the courtship toward a culminating bang, but only if the man is capable/alpha/experienced enough to deduce her intention and successfully parry her flirting.
- To release sexual tension. This is different from Flirting case #1, even if it sounds superficially similar. A girl who’s all wound up with sexual tension will seek a man (or men) into whom she can dissipate her stored sexual energy if her preferred mate choice isn’t available. This urge to release sexual tension will manifest as flirting when it isn’t resolved through actual sex or making out. Despite sensational press releases to the contrary, most women have an instinct to protect their precious eggs and guard against indulging wanton sexual escape. For a woman, flirting serves this purpose as both tension reliever and firewall against cumming down with Sudden Meaty Intrusion Syndrome. The man who is the recipient of this kind of female flirting doesn’t necessarily have to be on the girl’s radar as a potential lover; extraverted BPD girls are particularly prone to flirting with men for whom they have no sexual desire. Any earport in a tingle storm will do. NB: Beta males should be wary of this kind of flirty girl, because they are often exploited as earports and likely to misconstrue the girl’s harmless flirting as real sexual intention.
- To coax a third party man to bust a move. In this instance, the one under consideration here and practiced by the girls to whom I refer as Flirt Fatales, the flirting is a means to an entirely unexpected end: inviting a different man than the one with whom she is flirting to come over and meet her. The Flirt Fatale’s objective is to incite jealousy in the man she truly desires, and she does this by openly (and often sloppily) flirting with another man in the hopes that it will trigger the “hurry up and conquer” instinct in the man who is her primary interest. You can easily identify the Flirt Fatale by how she’ll frequently break eye contact with the pawn she’s flirting with to cast darting, sidelong glances at the rest of the room, or directly at you. NB: A man who suspects he is the true target of a girl’s flirtation with a beta prop should be ready to pounce after the girl is finished cockteasing her sounding board. I like to go in and open with the line, “Looks like your flirting didn’t work on that guy.” This is both a disqualification of her as a primary target of your affection and a cheeky challenge to her feminine allure.
In sum, if you see a girl flirting with another man, and she’s in your vicinity, check for darting eyes that betray her real purpose. If her eyes are locked on the flirtee, don’t bother. If her eyes sweep the veldt for your predatory gaze, prepare to approach once she’s detached from her pawn.
The neophyte to the world of women may ask, “why won’t the Flirt Fatale just go up to the man she really wants and flirt with him instead of going through this convoluted proxy beta?”
Sure, women do that. But not always. Not even very often. The reason Flirt Fatales like to play this game is because they want to maintain the illusion of their feminine allure, and that illusion creaks under the strain of any active moves she makes to capture the attention of a man she wants. Directly flirting with a man, to these women, is like giving too much of their game away. She relinquishes power with every aggressive move that betrays the essence of her feminine soul; an essence which is vulnerability and submission to a powerful man who takes what he wants. So she plays these flirty games with the unwitting aid of third party beta dupes to preserve her self-perception of passive sexual power which overwhelms desirable men to throw caution to the wind and risk her rejection on a direct approach that hasn’t been green-lighted by any overt flirtatious invitation she could easily send their way.
It almost goes without saying, but another psychological need of the Flirt Fatale is to satisfy her urge to play the “let’s you and him fight” game of male social dominance that helps her identify which men are strong enough to enjoy her chute fruit. Inciting jealousy through manipulative flirting with a proxy beta pawn gives her the giddy high of watching a second man enter the field of battle to oust the first man for her romantic favor.